Witless Protection

Name: Witless Protection
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Released: February 22, 2008
Duration: 97 min
Rating: 17
Cast: Jenny McCarthy, Larry the Cable Guy

2008

METASCORE

Overwhelming dislike based on 6 Critic Reviews

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USER SCORE

Generally unfavorable reviews based on 33 Ratings

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3.1	User Score Generally unfavorable reviews based on 33 Ratings

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Witless Protection

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Movie Details & Credits

Lionsgate | Release Date: February 22, 2008 | PG-13

Starring: Jenny McCarthy, Larry the Cable Guy

Summary: During a routine day spent patrolling his small town, Larry witnesses a beautiful, high-class woman, Madeleine, being held against her will by four mysterious, black-suited men. Recognizing the opportunity to save the day, Larry "kidnaps" her, only to learn that Madeleine is actually a key witness in a high-stakes Chicago crime case and herDuring a routine day spent patrolling his small town, Larry witnesses a beautiful, high-class woman, Madeleine, being held against her will by four mysterious, black-suited men. Recognizing the opportunity to save the day, Larry "kidnaps" her, only to learn that Madeleine is actually a key witness in a high-stakes Chicago crime case and her captors are FBI agents assigned to protect her. Madeleine is furious. But Larry, who rightly suspects that the agents are crooked and Madeleine is in danger, forces her on a harebrained trip to Chicago to solve the case himself. Together, the hilariously mismatched duo must grapple with angry FBI agents, quack doctors, and Chicago high society in his funniest, most unpredictable adventure yet. (Lionsgate)… Expand

Director: Charles Robert Carner

Genre(s): Comedy, Crime

Rating: PG-13

Runtime: 97 min

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Metascore

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Critic Reviews

Matt Zoller Seitz

The slapstick and action set pieces are lame, and its performances range from competent to annoying. Read full review

Luke Y. Thompson

Still, it’s hard to despise the movie, especially when Peter Stormare shows up over-enunciating the most brilliantly awful English accent of all time. Read full review

John Anderson

If you need a GPS unit to find your own backside, you'll be laughing uproariously at Witless Protection, a movie that's far more interesting politically than dramatically -- or, God knows, comically. Read full review

Frank Scheck

At least a fright-wigged Joe Mantegna, delivering an execrable cameo as a whacked-out doctor, has a good excuse for his presence; the writer-director is one of his former film students. Read full review

Ty Burr

It's mostly harmless dum-dum stuff, though. Read full review

Steven Hyden

Larry The Cable Guy is a cancerous boil on the ass of comedy, but it's still sort of shocking how little effort he puts into his movies. Read full review

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User Reviews

JohnM

Feb 22, 2008

Witless Protection is the most funny and surprisingly smart comedy to come out of Hollywood in some time. Liberals will hate this movie, since there are some subtle jabs at the whole culture of modern liberalism. but for the rest of us, it's an extremely enjoyable flick.

0 of 1 users found this helpful

GerrickC.

Feb 29, 2008

It must just be me-- because it seems like all the movies with Larry the Cable Guy really stink. Bad.

0 of 1 users found this helpful

TheQuietGamer

Apr 7, 2019

Leagues better than Health Inspector, but another example of how poorly Larry the Cable Guy's juvenile brand of southern humor translates from stand-up to film. On top of being painfully unfunny it's also poorly made. Looking more like a made-for-TV movie than something that was released inLeagues better than Health Inspector, but another example of how poorly Larry the Cable Guy's juvenile brand of southern humor translates from stand-up to film. On top of being painfully unfunny it's also poorly made. Looking more like a made-for-TV movie than something that was released in theaters.

Aside from a blatantly racist verbal assault made on Gerry Bednob and the casual objectification of it's female characters, this is notably less offensive and in better taste than Health Inspector. The comedy isn't any smarter though. The jokes still boil down to a bunch of bodily function and gross out gags, but at least we're not suffering through watching Larry ridicule the handicapped and homosexual. You can tell the original intention was for Ivana Miličević to be Larry's love interest, but the writers dropped the ball by including Jenny McCarthy's character, who I'm convinced is only here as an excuse to make the "big-titted and quick-witted" joke. Having her play as Larry's girlfriend backed them into a corner so the creepy Stockholm syndrome romance that would have otherwise been here mercifully never comes into fruition. He still tries to woo Miličević though and it's awkward and uncomfortable to watch.

The plot is needlessly convoluted and riddled with gaps in logic. It starts off with the simple premise of delivering a witness to Chicago while dodging crooked FBI agents, but then blows up to include some weird scenarios involving faking a death and playing sports with the guy trying to kill them to gain his trust or something. I don't know. I had kind of already lost interest by the time all that stuff started to happen so it made less sense to me than it otherwise would have.

The one highlight of the movie is Peter Stormare. Who appears to be having a blast hamming it up with a faux accent as the film's big baddie. His talents are wasted here.

Fans of Larry the Cable Guy's stand-up special are better off watching The Blue Collar Comedy Tour again. Turns out actually watching him fart isn't as amusing as hearing him talk about farting. The whole country boy out of his depth setup is of course just an excuse to throw shade at northerners and the movie was ahead of its time in ranting about liberals. All of which might have been more forgivable had any of it been clever. Instead it's lazy and boring.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful00

AaronA.

Feb 19, 2008

The fact Larry the Cable Guy is in this gives it an instant 0 for me. GIT R THE HECK OUTA HURR, REDNECK. Blue Collar TV is like, so 2 years ago in my opinion.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

ChadS.

Feb 25, 2008

Larry the Cable Guy drops trou. Blind people win. They hear, but don't have to see, the man who calls a hapless Muslim motel attendant a "pamper-head". Maybe the Comedy Central funny-man goes totally nude for the same reason that Sarah Silverman confesses to being a teenaged Larry the Cable Guy drops trou. Blind people win. They hear, but don't have to see, the man who calls a hapless Muslim motel attendant a "pamper-head". Maybe the Comedy Central funny-man goes totally nude for the same reason that Sarah Silverman confesses to being a teenaged bed-wetter. Both comics defuse their racist monologues by leaving themselves vulnerable through an act of self-humiliation. The Mexicans, as a retort, can shout back at their televisions, "Well, at least I've never wet my bed!" whenever Silverman jokes about their personal hygeine and socio-economic status. "Pamper-head" is pretty brutal, though. "Towel-head" could double as a term of macho endearment like "n****r" does when it's utilized by black people, or people-who-think-they're-black, just because they listen to Jay-Z, but "pamper head" goes too far; it connotates that your head is full of excrement. In another scene, Deputy Larry Stadler(Larry the Cable Guy) gives two airport security-men(an Asian male and a Black female) a bad time when they ask him to remove his shoes at the metal detector. This scenario looks too real to be funny. They forgot the comic-spin. A film such as "Witless Protection" brings the inherent racist subtext in a southern-flavored show like "The Dukes of Hazzard", or in a song like Lynryd Skynard's "Sweet Home Alabama", to the surface. Them Duke boys were probably rednecks, but Enos seemed alright.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

GeorgeN.

Mar 4, 2008

I walked out after 20 minutes. I cannot believe someone would write, direct, and produce this.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

David

Feb 26, 2008

I will qualify this by saying that i have not seen this movie and there is no way anyone can make me see this trash!! How in the world this guy keeps getting movie deals is beyond me!! There has never been one scene, even in commercials, that has been funny. sigh! No wonder Hollywood is I will qualify this by saying that i have not seen this movie and there is no way anyone can make me see this trash!! How in the world this guy keeps getting movie deals is beyond me!! There has never been one scene, even in commercials, that has been funny. sigh! No wonder Hollywood is going downhill fast!… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

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