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Average User Score: 8.7Dec 16, 2018I didn't quite expect this level of good when going to the cinema - Into The Spider-Verse ended up delivering on pretty much everything.
TheI didn't quite expect this level of good when going to the cinema - Into The Spider-Verse ended up delivering on pretty much everything.
The jokes are actually funny - no underage cringy garbage shoehorned by Disney into their movies. Special thanks to Nicholas "Noir" Cage. The visual style is astonishing, pays close homage to the comics, but still looks distinct and aesthetically pleasing. The drama here surprisingly works, and some moments in this movie are very far from being childish. Of course the Spider-Verse also has a ton of references to everything from the Raimi trilogy to the recent PS4 game, and they're also great, make sure to stay for the after-credits scene. Even the protagonist Morales also works, as opposed to the aforementioned PS4 game, where he was kind of dull.
So yeah, miles (no pun intended) ahead of the MCU and of Sony's own previous live-action attempts, Into The Spider-Verse is a great animated movie, totally looking forward to the announced spin-off and sequel.… Expand
Average User Score: 7.7May 20, 2018Finally, after all the underwhelming repetitive single-use superhero flicks Deadpool returns to save the day.
Deadpool 2 is the exemplaryFinally, after all the underwhelming repetitive single-use superhero flicks Deadpool returns to save the day.
Deadpool 2 is the exemplary sequel - it just takes all the original's ingredients and carefully improves upon them.
The first movie felt a bit confined with just a couple of locations due to its low budget - this one feels like a proper blockbuster. The first had modest action - here the amount, scale and choreography (thanks to director Devit Leitch) of fight scenes is heightened noticeably. The situation with jokes here is on par with the original - there are a lot of them, some don't work, but many do and the overall impression is very much favorable, there are plenty of laughs to be had here. The sheer number of characters involved is also increased, which does leave some with little screen time, like Negasonic Warhead.
Had it not been for the stretched-out ending and a few story hiccups, this might've even been a 10/10 contender. While WB keep wasting their comic universe's potential and Disney keeps spitting out generic junk of descending quality, Deadpool 2 manages to be as good as its predecessor and set directly set things up for sequels. And I say, keep them coming.… Expand
Average User Score: 8.6May 6, 2018Infinity War is the same predictable mediocre flick for children as usual, only one that's too big for its own good.
The previous team-upInfinity War is the same predictable mediocre flick for children as usual, only one that's too big for its own good.
The previous team-up movies had a generic structure: some unmenacing bad guy arrives so the heroes have to unite - the heroes do unite, but the bad guy seems to take the upper hand - the heroes regroup and defeat the bad guy. Since IW was planned as two movies (more movies = more cash, not like there's some story to be told here), the structure is split between them, so the first one ends with the heroes seemingly defeated. But since we know that a sequel releases literally next year, the many character deaths feel cheap and pointless, kind of like that of Superman in BvS. And there are way too many heroes to give everyone proper screen time and things to do anyway.
There's literally nothing to see here apart from these forced deaths - there's no original plot involved, it's just another CGI purple Homer Simpson lookalike who wants to kill everyone "for balance" with added amounts of forced drama and tedious dialogues. He also has some CGI minions that look like early-2000's video game villains, but I don't think those were even named. Also the film's largest battle is that between some CGI 4-armed monkeys and an African tribe armed with spears. Yeah.
Also, still remember Thor Ragnarok? You know, the one which was mostly pointless as usual, but it did have Thor lose his hammer and eye? Well now it's completely pointless as he has both back. Just like IW will become pointless next year when the follow-up comes around.
I quite liked the first two Avengers movies, and while the third one (Civil War) was already slightly overstuffed, it was still serviceable. This, however, just continues the downward trend of movies like Guardians 2 and Thor 3.… Expand
Average User Score: 7.5Apr 14, 2018This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Praise from the critics, 8.2 on IMDb, did I watch the correct movie?
A Quiet Place is one of the dumbest and most boring flicks I have ever seen. For a movie that positions itself as a horror title it has zero suspense and scary moments. The only scary thing about is is how people seem to praise it despite it being unoriginal dull garbage.
With the premise being "humans are hunted by blind monsters that react to loud noises", this basically becomes "Screamer, the movie", as this is the only trick that Krasinski offers - everything is silent, and sharp noises occur occasionally.
There is no plot in a Quiet Place. A moronic family just goes about their business and cannot muster some sort of a sound-proof room to be able to talk in, instead they use the sign language and go to a waterfall to scream. Yeah, I didn't make that up, the writers did. They do have a basement which they cover with a mattress and it seems to help, but for whatever reason they don't do it regularly. Also, in the beginning act the parents lose their youngest child whom they failed to teach properly that if he makes sounds he will die. What do they do after his death? Well they go ahead and make a new one! And then they put the baby in a coffin to muffle its cooing!
What else is there? Krasinski, apparently, has a foot fetish, as shots of naked feet occur every 5 minutes or so. The mute plump girl needs 3 damn occasions to understand that her hearing aid drives the monsters back. The film lasts an hour and a half, but most of the scenes are either too long or unnecessary at all. (Like with the old man in the woods.) The family survives for around a year, yet the father still can't properly hunt fish, he just grabs it with bare hands and it slips away, genius. The monsters are described as "indestructible" in the newspapers, yet they die from a single shotgun headshot. This is just what I remember off the bat, a Quiet Place offers even more idiotic character actions and dull predictable scenes.
Apparently this is John Krasinski's directorial debut. Well, at least he shouldn't have trouble improving on himself later with the bar set so low.… Expand
Average User Score: 7.1Mar 17, 2018This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. After "Ex Machina" I expected more from director Alex Garland. Annihilation is pretentious, boring and ultimately style over substance.
The premise itself is intriguing - there is an expanding supernatural Zone out of which nobody has returned, except for Natalie Portman's husband, who appears to have no memory of prior events. Portman herself is a university professor who presumed her husband dead.
However, everything goes downhill really quick. First, literally on the 3rd minute of the movie we are shown a comet hitting a lighthouse, which immediately eliminates any mystery regarding the Zone's origins, as it's clearly extraterrestrial. Then we are led to believe that the Zone has been expanding for 3 years already. And what has the government organization overseeing it done in the meantime? Perhaps, send a large-scale military/scientific expedition with lots of gear and vehicles? Well no Sir! They have only sent a few small teams, none of which ever communicate or come back. So, by the movie's events, the current squad consists of 5 suicidal women who barely have any relevant skills for the mission. And while all are "scientists", the only person who tries to do some research is Portman, who at least takes biological samples along the way.
And how our 5 girl-scouts act once they enter the zone is unspeakable. They go in without any protective gear(!) and only M4s for weapons(!!), with only Portman having prior shooting experience(!!!), follow no plan and just wander around wasting time(!!!!) and leave no marks to be able to find their way back, as GPS and even compasses don't work(!!!!!).
Besides the sci-fi-ish premise, the movie also has some horror elements, so there are obligatory scenes of a team member being snatched from behind, and one team member losing their mind and acting hostile towards others. The latter scene looks very lame, by the way. There is some suspense in the film, but not enough of it.
While Annihilation has some pretty, albeit low-budget, imagery, the story feels like its writer just came up with some creepy moments but didn't care to stitch them together in any sensible way. There isn't any sense in Thessa Thompson's turning into some sort of discount Poison Ivy and disappearing. There isn't any sense or consistency in the CG-alien's actions. Why has it "entered" Jennifer Jason-Leigh and obliterated her? Why hasn't it done so with Portman, and played some copycat game instead? The alien core can be burned to the ground with a single phosphorus grenade, really? Why didn't Isaac's duplicate (whose reveal was as obvious and predictable as possible) also burn down, while all the other alien constructs were destroyed?
The answer to all those questions is because the writer did a sh***y job, that's why. Unfortunately, Annihilation is a disappointment.… Expand
Average User Score: 7.0Mar 11, 2018To be honest, the whole premise of a love story between a woman and some weird merman seemed unattractive to me to begin with, but the OscarsTo be honest, the whole premise of a love story between a woman and some weird merman seemed unattractive to me to begin with, but the Oscars did their advertising job in the end. And my intuition did not fail, Shape of Water is boring, weird, and overly-sweet all at the same time.
To start with the good things - visually it's well-filmed and the 60's are stylishly presented. It's nothing ground-breaking, but overall solid. The second good aspect are the actors, everyone plays their roles convincingly. I would point out Michael Shannon in particular, he proved that he can be a great antagonist before, and he's done it again, I was actually rooting for his character throughout.
However, the story is a dull bizarre mess. To begin with, it is overwhelmingly unoriginal - the sheepish sugar-sweet lonely protagonist, the captive creature that is tortured instead of being communicated with, the army man antagonist. The movie is just a drag, and everything is as predictable as it can be.
Now I can buy the ancient overused trope about the protagonist empathizing to some captive intelligent creature, but explicitly having sex with it? And yeah, there's actually plenty of unnecessary nudity (Shannon shags his wife. Ok.) and allusions to the creature's penis. Well, whatever gets you that Oscar, I guess. I mean I'm no prune, but in my opinion nudity is justified when it helps to convey some point and flesh out the story. But this, this just looks like Del Toro's sick creepy sexual fantasies brought to life. Sorry, but my suspension of disbelief just doesn't cover the "woman gets turned on by slippery scaly aquatic monster" thing. What's your next move, Del Toro, a movie about furries?
To add to that, there's an absolutely redundant meaningless side plot about a gay old man failing to hook up with another guy, and couple of scenes dedicated to showing that Shannon's character has a sexual fetish for silence. That's when you thought this movie couldn' get any more creepy.
And since we're at it, I would really question how realistic it is that some random cleaners are allowed access to classified assets in a top-secret research facility. There's also an uncomfortably stereotypical black woman who overcompensates for the muteness of the main character, never managing to finally shut the hell up. Also at one point the movie has a musical number in it, like in some Disney flick. That was also the moment when my facepalm intensity peaked. Yeah, and isn't this merman's design very reminiscent of some sidekick of Hellboy in Del Toro's own movie? Pathetic.
So, as they say, best movie my ass. I've recently also watched "Three Billboards...", and it's miles ahead than this trash.… Expand
Average User Score: 5.3Feb 6, 2018A decent space thriller with some tense moments, Cloverfield Paradox reminded me of the recent Life movie with Ryan Reynolds. Not sure what'sA decent space thriller with some tense moments, Cloverfield Paradox reminded me of the recent Life movie with Ryan Reynolds. Not sure what's up with the poor critic score, but the so-called "critics" have discredited themselves before numerous times, so whatever.
From the pros - it has a nicely convoluted sci-fi plot; good suspense; overall decent acting and some nice references to the first Cloverfield movie.
As for the cons, the main one is that the movie drops the bar towards its end. The tenseness and intrigue die down, and most of the characters start doing increasingly dumb things, especially the "British" woman. She, while being given the most screen time, is the most annoying character of all with uneven acting and unconvincing family drama. Also, you can tell that the scenes on Earth were added later in production mainly to tie the movie to the "Cloververse", as they're largely redundant and don't add much to the plot.
So, while it could have been better, the Cloverfield Paradox is still quite good and it's a neat surprise that it has come out out on the same day as the trailer.… Expand
Average User Score: 7.9Jan 18, 2018So I reluctantly decided to watch this film, that had oh such good ratings from critics and audiences alike. What did I see?
Well, level ofSo I reluctantly decided to watch this film, that had oh such good ratings from critics and audiences alike. What did I see?
Well, level of production inferior to some of YouTube videos nowadays, for starters. Everything looks dirt-cheap with laughable effects and poor camera work. I read that the budget was 1.6 million dollars, yet it looks 1.59 million dollars cheaper.
But it's not just about the looks, right? It's a comedy, after all, it's the writing that matters! Well unfortunately the jokes here are pure sh*t mostly. It's all dirt-cheap puns about how werewolves act like dogs, so they smell and run after sticks. Or how these guys are vampires, so they can't wear silver necklases as it burns, and they bite people. Oh wow, my belly just hurts so much from all the laughter. There's also some unnecessary vulgarity, which doesn't really help anything.
The only reasons this was not a 1/10 are that were like 2 moderately amusing gags, and the whole thing lasts less than an hour and a half, so while it is a tedious bore, it's not as long as it could've been. I heard about this movie after its director and writer Taika Waititi (or whatever) was praised for "bringing his charm and wit" to Thor Ragnarok, which I'm yet to watch. Well if Thor Ragnarok has the same level of humor as this than it's likely also f*cking borderline unwatchable trash.
After the credits one of the characters says something along the lines of "You will forget the contents of this movie". I wish I did, honestly.… Expand
Average User Score: 4.4Dec 15, 2017This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Wow, the lackluster trailers failed to give me any hype for this, so I wasn't even expecting much, but this, this is a new definition of "low".
Virtually everything in this movie is outright bad. The plot is disjointed and stupid. The action is bland, the space battles lack in scale and logic, with 1 fighter being able to destroy all of a huge dreadnought's cannons. As for lightsaber duels, well, there ARE NONE FOR F**K'S SAKE! And the one fight using sabers has horrible choreography that is nowhere near the spectacle of acrobatic battles of the overly-hated prequels.
The characters also f**king suck, both old and new. The largest new addition is an ugly fat (I mean, body-positive) Asian chick who is extra-annoying. As for the old ones, Kylo and the Ginger still act like hysterical children whereas our Wonder-Girl can still do amazing feats of the Force with no prior training, like holding a ton of boulders like it ain't sh*t.
The huge problem is that Episode 8 has managed to blatantly flush the intriguing stuff from Force Awakens down the toilet. Big SPOILERS ahead.
Made theories about who is Snoke? Nevermind, he is just a CGI model with no backstory who dies after a stupid cliche villain monologue.
Thought Phasma would be an actual character, a leader of the stormtroopers? Nah, she is just an extra who also wastes the chance to kill off the heroes to die in an utterly stupid way.
Hoped that Luke would kick some ass for the old times' sake? WELL HELL NAW BOY HE'S JUST GONNA MAKE SOME F**KING HOLOGRAM OF HIMSELF AND THEN DIE OF NOTHING!!! (How the sh*t would he even make that "hologram" on another planet with the Force?)
Theorized as to who would be Rey's parents? Lo and behold, they are noname off-screen motherf**king bums.
Sounds amazing right? To add to that there's garbage like:
Boring talks about Hope and Resistance; Yoda's cameo who looks like a plastic piece of sh*t from the old movies, talks nonsense and somehow spawns a bolt of lightning even though Force ghosts have never been able to interact with the physical world before; A space casino which looks like a normal Earth casino but with some silly creatures; Leia survives in outer space and flies like Superman though she has never displayed any knowledge of the Force except for some connection with Luke; A lot of sugar-cutie (ice foxes) and disgusting ("Porgs", that thing with nipples) creatures designed so the incarnation of Satan aka "Disney" would sell merchandise; The annoying Asian prevents Finn from stopping the ram thing for no reason.
This isn't even close to everything wrong with this movie, just what I remember off the bat. It's one of the two films that I've ever given a 1/10 to (the other being Movie 43) and the single worst movie in the Star Wars franchise. I now have zero willingness to see Episode 9 or that trilogy that will be written and directed by this movie's creator, Rian "worthless f**kbag" Johnson.
The Star Wars are dead, baby. Was fun while it lasted.… Expand
Average User Score: 4.8Nov 1, 2017Wow, this is some woeful garbage that I have just managed to finish watching on my second try.
I watched the first two xXx movies back when IWow, this is some woeful garbage that I have just managed to finish watching on my second try.
I watched the first two xXx movies back when I was still in school, and I liked those a lot, especially the second one due to all the hip-hop influences, but this just should not exist.
Everything here is complete trash: nonsensical plot, awfully cringy jokes, embarrassing one liners, pathetically cheap CGI, bland action sequences, retarded dialogues, actors who do not act. Diesel trying to look fast and agile while being an overweight badly aging walking ballsack is just laughable. And to boost his ego he had to include a group orgy scene with himself, disgusting. I wonder how much were the actresses paid to make out with him. Another particularly annoying actress in my opinion was the Indian woman, who could not act for sh*t (more so than the others) and had a very repulsive accent. The whole flick looks like some sort of a dreadful mix between an early 2000's direct-to-DVD B movie and some Bollywood circus. Kind of like Fast & Furious but even more stupid (which I didn't think was humanly possible) and with a smaller budget.
The only two reasons why this is not a 1/10 are Ice Cube's cameo with his own "Thank God" playing in the background, and the presence of Nina Dobrev, who is almost too adorable. If you hold any good memory of the first two movies, do yourself a favor and do not watch this piece of sh*t.… Expand