For 430 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 54% higher than the average critic
  • 1% same as the average critic
  • 45% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 9.6 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Glenn Garvin's Scores

Average review score: 55
Highest review score: 100 Everybody Hates Chris: Season 1
Lowest review score: 0 Dads: Season 1
Score distribution:
430 tv reviews
    • 61 Metascore
    • 30 Glenn Garvin
    Where Modern Family is sweet and funny, The New Normal is cheap and hectoring.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Glenn Garvin
    None of them is very interesting, and it's actually kind of hard to tell them apart.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Glenn Garvin
    Even if you buy the premise that 2012 Nashville is a redneck hellhole barely familiar with indoor plumbing (big laugh in episode one: Reba meets her first gay person!), the show's performances and punchlines mostly fall flat.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 30 Glenn Garvin
    It is relentless and ultimately meretricious in skewing history to its conceit that the United States is a murderous war machine destroying everything in its path to empire.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 30 Glenn Garvin
    Carrie's antics in New York are a kind of chick version of Matthew Broderick's madcap adventures in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. But Schwartz can't cut the umbilical cord--perhaps fallopian tube is a more apt metaphor--to his original source material, and that's where The Carrie Diaries goes off the rails.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Glenn Garvin
    Watching Cult is like trying to read a Kafka novel in Sanskrit. When you’re blind. And drunk.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 30 Glenn Garvin
    Sheen and Cryer breathe some life into this thing, but a mercy killing might have been simpler. [22 Sept 2003, p.4E]
    • Miami Herald
    • 70 Metascore
    • 30 Glenn Garvin
    Conceptually, this isn’t half-bad. The writing, unfortunately, is all-bad.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 30 Glenn Garvin
    This is essentially CSI without the microscopes, petri dishes or Marg Helgenberger. Yawn. [26 Sep 2002]
    • Miami Herald
    • 64 Metascore
    • 30 Glenn Garvin
    By the end, Sleepy Hollow seems less like a show than a garage sale of used story pitches.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Glenn Garvin
    Tepid stuff.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Glenn Garvin
    The CW’s newest wallow in adolescent angst.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Glenn Garvin
    What made a quirky, fun six-hour miniseries in May has turned to monotonous stupidity in the conversion to weekly series. [28 Nov 2002]
    • Miami Herald
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Glenn Garvin
    Humdrum.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 20 Glenn Garvin
    A mess.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 20 Glenn Garvin
    An absurd fairy tale.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 20 Glenn Garvin
    Maybe the best way to explain UPN's new drama South Beach is to tell you that when Vanessa Williams warns a young model that ''South Beach will eat you alive,'' I fully expected the next scene to be a horde of zombie parking attendants chewing the entrails of half-naked girls in the lobby of the Delano. Cannibalism is about the only thing missing from this delirious new trashfest of hard bodies and soft brains.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 20 Glenn Garvin
    Stuffed with incomprehensible medical jargon and grisly shots of exposed brains, 3 Lbs. would be a major annoyance even if it had an original thought in its seriously underweight head.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 20 Glenn Garvin
    Somebody on The Wedding Bells is always saying ''We need to talk about it,'' to which the reply is invariably something like "I'm not big on dating men I've slept with.''
    • 38 Metascore
    • 20 Glenn Garvin
    The show's dialogue feels scripted, its frequent hookups and breakups abrupt and phony, and its scenes from the music business out and out fraudulent.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 20 Glenn Garvin
    It just substitutes South Africa for "Everwood's" Colorado, trite idiocy for "Everwood's" sharp dialogue, and a game of blind-man's-bluff for "Everwood's" casting director--actress Leah Pipes, who looks 25 and sounds 30, is the least convincing teenager since Stockard Channing staved off menopause in "Grease."
    • 50 Metascore
    • 20 Glenn Garvin
    Welcome to The Captain is less a TV show than a grim ransom note from the striking Hollywood writers.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 20 Glenn Garvin
    No matter how horrible the clichés or gorgeous the gowns, they can't distract from the androphobic virulence at the heart of Lipstick Jungle.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 20 Glenn Garvin
    The Cho Show is the television equivalent of anti-matter: no scripts, no punch lines, just Cho hanging out with her self-consciously weird entourage. What a waste of one of the most scandalously funny comedians in America!
    • 37 Metascore
    • 20 Glenn Garvin
    Testees probably shouldn't be considered part of the fall season, but let's be fair--it's as lousy as anything the broadcast nets have come up with.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Glenn Garvin
    Chemistry is just one of the ingredients lacking in the Canadian-made The Listener, NBC's new drama about a psychic paramedic. Others include but are not limited to plot, dialogue and acting skill.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Glenn Garvin
    After a few minutes in front of ABC's bewildering sorcery drama Eastwick, you may wish that Bewitched's Samantha would twitch her nose and make the whole thing disappear.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 20 Glenn Garvin
    In the case of ABC's turgid legal melodrama The Deep End, you might not want to show up at all.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 20 Glenn Garvin
    Basically, Suburgatory is a random collection of clichés drawn from such suburb-bashing works as Valley Girls, Stepford Wives, Clueless and Cougar Town, assembled without a scintilla of wit or human empathy.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 20 Glenn Garvin
    With the pace of a music video, the characterizations of a comic book and the political-correctness quotient of a Berkeley vegetarian commune this production makes Cecil B. DeMille look like a sober theologian.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 20 Glenn Garvin
    Having started with a bad premise, producers Carlton Cuse and Kerry Ehrin then made it infinitely worse by rejecting the loneliness and isolation that were the nucleus of Hitchcock’s film.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 20 Glenn Garvin
    It’s badly written.... And it’s horribly miscast.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 20 Glenn Garvin
    The Goldbergs runs the gamut from stale to sour.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 20 Glenn Garvin
    It is a dank and ugly affair, with Underwood playing a dour, Nietzschean superhero who is encumbered neither by his paralyzed legs (rendered useless by a criminal’s bullet) nor petit bourgeois considerations of law and morality.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    The network thinks this is razor's-edge television because the characters turn to address the audience during cut-ins. But all the bellowing is straight from The Honeymooners, the jokes from Mandingo and the dialogue... from about sixth grade.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    A purported sitcom, it draws no laughs... but does manage the impressive achievement of making Stockard Channing and Henry Winkler, playing Gorham's parents, thoroughly unlikable.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    CBS' crummiest imitation of CSI yet.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    Tr[ies] to distract you from [its] essential awfulness by manipulating the daylights out of you.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    This kind of comedy only stands a dim ghost of a chance if it has a lot of gratuitous nudity and substance abuse, along with the words ''National Lampoon'' in the title.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    An exercise in moronity.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    With the debut of Julia Louis-Dreyfus' show tonight, [Seinfeld] has now spawned five relentlessly unfunny and compulsively unwatchable sitcoms.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    A live-action version of Beavis & Butthead, except with a cast that's considerably less life-like, Modern Men is from the Guys Are Loathsome Pigs And Chicks Must Civilize Them genre that produced Men Behaving Badly, Champs and a bunch of other unwatched and unremembered shows, of which this will soon be one.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    A hollow imitation of a sitcom.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    This show just isn't funny. At all. Ever. Under any circumstances.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    Yet another doomed and dreadful attempt to bring improv comedy to television.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    A giant bore.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    As for the lack of laughs, you're just going to have to take my word for it, unless you want to risk serious brain damage.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    Kelley's compulsive fascination with erratic eroticism turns everything in Swingtown into hypersexualized sleaze.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    The Beast is singularly unimaginative, a collection of set-pieces barely bound together by a narrative thread, substituting attitude for substance and coyness for coherence.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    To the extent this sounds interesting, it isn't: Half the dialogue seems to have been written for barking dogs, the other half for mewling kittens, and the cast performs accordingly.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    The tedium and unoriginality of this new ABC sitcom, the latest entry in the vastly overworked motherhood-as-martyrdom genre, has to be seen to be believed, though my strong and sincere suggestion is that you just take my word for it.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    Why anybody is paying the writers and cast of Surviving Suburbia for what is essentially an amateur-hour production is just one more of those eternal television mysteries.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    Pointless, charmless and bound to be viewerless after the first half-hour or so, The Philanthropist recalls such epochal television bombs as Manimal (a scientist who could turn into a crime-fighting dolphin) or It's About Time (astronauts break the time barrier and frolick happily with cavemen) in its conceptual imbecility.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    Kolchak's ridiculously precious writing is not the only thing that rings false about Night Stalker.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    The WB is lying when it boasts that Pepper Dennis signifies a new television life form, the one-hour comedy. Boring, yes; witless, definitely; trashy, oh my God yes. Comedy? Dream on, guys.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    Cougar Town (which doesn't debut until Wednesday, but I wanted to give you time to disconnect your TV set) is downright unwatchable, an agonizingly unfunny gutter-ball that will almost certainly be the first of the new season's shows to be canceled.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    Silly, hackneyed and suffering from a lethal overdose of Hollywood political smugness, it's the biggest lawyer joke of all.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    It is uniquely stupid, profoundly stupid, an ecstatic nirvana of stupidity, a stupidity that defies all previous boundaries of time and space.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    The Real Housewives Of Miami is even more egregiously fake than the average reality show, so much so that the producers haven't even bothered to remove bloopers in which cast members forget what day it's supposed to be.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    Vulgarian avarice, unfortunately, is one of the high points of Shedding For The Wedding. Far more disconcerting is the number of couples who say they want to lose weight because sex between fat people is--well, let's spare the details and just say "yucky."
    • 30 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    Stripped of the novelty and the jiggle factor--these Angels are fully equipped with functioning underwear--the remake is reduced to its essential self, which is a comic book for the slow-witted.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    Funny and talented, she [Rachel Bilson] tries painfully hard to make the show work and occasionally comes close to overcoming some of the worst writing since Gutenberg invented movable type.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    No show in the history of television has more relentlessly defamed the male gender as ABC's Man Up!, an alleged sitcom that debuts Tuesday and with any luck will be dead and buried, along with its producers, by Wednesday.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    Allen Gregory is not funny--not even a little bit--and it is not remotely entertaining.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    Partners is witless, predictable and much closer to creepy than funny.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    Think Gray's Anatomy with unpretty people; then think of something else to watch.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    Ben and Kate is sometimes shrill, sometimes belligerent and sometimes (well, a lot of times) merely stupid. It is never funny.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    Liz & Dick alternates between imbecile fatuity (particularly in its device of intercutting scenes of a black-clad Taylor and Burton musing on their relationship like characters who've wandered in from an East German experimental film) and stupefying literalness.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 10 Glenn Garvin
    It’s an insidious whitewash of a convicted killer and an infamous smear of his victim. It’s a shame on all involved.... The closest thing to fairness in Phil Spector is the blow-you-away performance by Al Pacino in the title role.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 0 Glenn Garvin
    Give it credit for consistency: a bad concept, badly written for bad actors.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 0 Glenn Garvin
    I'll give the show credit; it did make me think what I would ask if granted three wishes. Interestingly, all three involved the flesh of Amy Grant being devoured by rabid weasels.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 0 Glenn Garvin
    An abysmally dumb plot peopled with some of the most irritating characters in the history of television.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 0 Glenn Garvin
    You can practically feel the IQ points leaking out your ears as you watch.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 0 Glenn Garvin
    Makes a solid bid to win the Most Unpleasant Reality Show of All Time award.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 0 Glenn Garvin
    Smutty at its best, downright creepy at its worst, this dreadful attempt to mock the coming-of-age genre could well be the first TV show to get an entire day of the week canceled.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 0 Glenn Garvin
    Oprah's Big Give is no mere appallingly bad television show but a refutation of human decency itself.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 0 Glenn Garvin
    I'm paying a bounty of $5 per vicious blow administered to the heads of any NBC executive involved in any way with Knight Rider, which cost me an hour of my life and 50 IQ points that I'll never get back.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 0 Glenn Garvin
    Staleness, however, ranks as a virtue in Sit Down, Shut Up, for the show's token stabs at topicality are truly appalling.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 0 Glenn Garvin
    This truly hideous sitcom offers a postmodernist take on the 1960s comedy That Girl, in which Marlo Thomas starred as an aspiring actress afflicted with insufferable cuteness.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 0 Glenn Garvin
    With tediously unfunny scripts and a listless cast that looks as if it can barely wait for the director to shout "Cut!" so it can head en masse to the unemployment office, Last Man Standing is some kind of voracious video parasite that sucks out all intellect, sense of purpose or will to live.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 0 Glenn Garvin
    Monstrously misconceived and incompetently executed, powered by a high-octane blend of arrogance and contempt, The Newsroom is an epochal failure, a program destined for television's all-time What Were They Thinking? list. Not since NASA's first Vanguard rocket blew up on its launch pad in 1957 will Americans have seen anything crash and burn on television with such hellish spectacularity.
    • 15 Metascore
    • 0 Glenn Garvin
    A crass generation-gap sitcom with the wit if not the intelligence of an elementary-school flatulence contest.

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