Joe Morgenstern
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For 1,921 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 41% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 57% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 0.6 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Joe Morgenstern's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 59
Highest review score: 100 The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys
Lowest review score: 0 Henry Fool
Score distribution:
1,921 movie reviews
    • 33 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    The best thing about a movie as silly as this is that it makes such modest demands on your attention. As the story unfolded with all the energy of California in a Stage 3 alert, I staved off brain death by trying to imagine an alternate version.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 51 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    The narrative core suffers a conspicuous meltdown, though not before Mr. Mann gets to stage a few impressive action sequences, the best and loudest of which concerns a shootout in a curvilinear tunnel. As for the climax, set against a massive torchlight parade through the streets of Jakarta, it’s very elaborate, and terribly dumb.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    The movie will surely find an audience, since it speaks to young people's anxieties about marriage and parenting. But what are two particularly engaging performers doing in a dump of a comedy like this?
    • 50 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    A deeply dreadful movie -- no, a shallowly dreadful movie -- that's too unpleasant and repetitive to be entertaining, even as camp.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    If I could find some facet to praise, I'd be glad to do so, but the production's mediocrity is all-pervasive -- story, character, graphic design, even music -- and it all points to a failure of corporate imagination, or maybe just nerve.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 59 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Breakfast on Pluto, with an impressive cast that includes Liam Neeson and Brendan Gleeson, deploys its whimsy in many ways, all of them cloying.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 40 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    The movie drills itself into our skulls, which are all too vulnerable to such an assault, though I must say my brain glazed over and my heart turned adamantine while the stupidities of this action thriller played themselves out.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Mr. Scott's idea of making movies is to bludgeon or deafen his audience with every scene. In another line of work he'd be certifiable. [16 Aug 1996, p.A8]
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    A movie's script is its fate, which means this one is doomed.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 37 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Amelia Earhart is still missing.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    It's bad enough to make parable a four-letter word.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 45 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    The last thing we need is entertainment that evokes the horror and then trivializes it with cheesy heroics. Never has a movie taken on a subject of greater immediacy, or handled it more ineptly.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 32 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Mr. Rock's opening scene is very funny. After that it's a steep downhill slide.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 44 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    What was fresh and surprising in Las Vegas turns rancid and predictable in Bangkok.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Rarely has a major motion picture -- and this one is major by virtue of its misplaced ambition as well as its budget -- been afflicted by such flagrant dissonance between subject and style.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Manages to make its live actors sound -- and even sometimes look -- computer generated. This wan, sluggish comedy wouldn't pass muster as a premium-cable original, but here it is on the big screen.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 44 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Choose to pass this one up.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 33 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    The movie's smugness is insufferable.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 55 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    The oddest thing about this very odd movie is that it doesn't seem to know what to make of itself.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 54 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Bee Movie isn't a B movie, it's a Z movie, as in dizmal.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Bad can't begin to describe Christmas With the Kranks. It's sub-humbug.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    The only entertaining member of the cast is Terence Stamp.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 46 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    A deadly earnest and deadly dull psychological thriller.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Elegance isn't Zack Snyder's bag; a certain sort of impact is. Watchmen establishes him as Hollywood's reigning master of psychic suffocation.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    A generally mirthless comedy of manners.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 52 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Motion is in copious supply -- a frenzied shootout at Manhattan's Guggenheim Museum grows interminable -- but the workings of the abstract plot are unfathomable, the characters are unpleasant and a couple of assassinations leave us as cold as the corpses.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    For better or worse, Woody Allen turns out a movie every year. Last year's "Midnight in Paris" was better than better; that is to say, sublime. To Rome With Love is worse than worse, as inert as its predecessor was inspired.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    What I don't understand is why this extended piece of idiocy chose to sink its stinky teeth into our 16th president. If an axe-wielding hero was required, George Washington would have been the better choice, with the Redcoats as bloodsuckers.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    J.Lo should sue her handlers for damages.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 38 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Consider this more a consumer warning than a movie review: The Life Before Her Eyes will draw you in, then intrigue you, then bore you, then bewilder you, then make you crazy with its incessant flashbacks and flash forwards, and finally leave you feeling like the victim of a fraud.

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