Real World's pointless rip-off show.

Incoherent, overwrought, and ridiculous.

Style in the absence of wit only emphasizes the cold heartlessness of Family Dog. If I were more of an animal-lover, I'd be offended at the way this poor hound is treated; it's as a cartoon-lover that I'm really annoyed.

Somewhere between Murphy's ambitiousness and FX's desire to be basic cable's HBO, the cleverness got suctioned out of this show, and the result is a cross between 'General Hospital' and 'Extreme Makeover.'

Family Guy ... is The Simpsons as conceived by a singularly sophomoric mind that lacks any reference point beyond other TV shows.

The only way ABC could make The Mole any duller would be to turn it into a series about the beauty mark on Cindy Crawford's face.

High-minded and low-quality at the same time, Bell is depressing. Kids' TV should provide intelligent escapism, not dumb sanctimony.

Exec producers John Wells (ER), Andrew Stearn (The West Wing), and Paul Abbott (Cracker), adapting Abbott's original Brit version, waste the talents of Macy, Joan Cusack, and Emmy Rossum (Mystic River), among others, and you'll waste your time straining to enjoy it.

Boorish plus boring, Veronica's Closet hasn't benefited from the addition of Ron Silver to the cast. ... At this point, Closet seems beyond creative redemption, which is a pity, given [Kirstie] Alley's and [Wallace] Langham's comic talents.

Coach was never good for major laughs — it's comfort television, the kind of thing people watch simply to be with characters they like. But these days, the Coach crew are loud, boring guests in our living room.

Logue looks as if he was eyeing the studio exit door during taping.

In turning the 1985 feature film of the same name into a sitcom, Weird Science has become stupider, and a bit more hateful.

Diaries is Penthouse magazine crossed with a J. Crew catalog. ... For sheer sustained kookiness, Diaries is more entertaining than most sexy TV shows, but its insidious, numbing dumbness seems to demand some sort of protection — a new product, perhaps: a brain condom.