For 2,295 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 46% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 52% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 3.6 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Lou Lumenick's Scores

  • Movies
Average review score: 55
Highest review score: 100 Shower
Lowest review score: 0 Wirey Spindell
Score distribution:
2,295 movie reviews
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The characters are so cartoonish, it's hard to care on any level -- except that it wastes such talented performers.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Hokey, inept tear-jerker.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Writer-director J.S. Cardone's low-budget mishmash offers precious little in the way of thrills and chills, much less coherent storytelling.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Suffers from terminal hoof-in-mouth disease.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Sort of "West Side Story" set in 1958 Brooklyn -- minus the music or competent storytelling -- is clearly not dealing from anything close to a full deck.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A silly, boring supernatural thriller that squanders a potentially interesting premise and the rapper Snoop Dogg in his ostensible starring debut.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The acting is, at best, serviceable; the sound track is too often unintelligible; the direction is often over the top; and the script relies heavily on stereotypes.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Dumbed down to the point where it's barely recognizable as coming from one of Donald Westlake's John Dortmunder novels.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    So unremittingly vulgar and inept it makes "The Best Man" and "Runaway Bride" look like masterpieces by comparison.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    You cease to care as they fall back on a catalogue of clichéd shocks, tired camera angles and an ever-mounting gore quotient.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Light It Up would be a strong candidate for the year's most irresponsible movie - if it were remotely believable.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    This is a cheap-looking lowbrow comedy that likely would have gone straight to home video.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Something most have gotten lost in the translation.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A non-starter.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    There are some decent actors and great costumes in this overly solemn compendium of rock clichés.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A witless and vulgar romantic comedy wrapped inside a mock documentary.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A brightly colored but terminally dull cartoon.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Watching Meryl Streep act can be an exhausting experience - and never more so than during Music of the Heart.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Like many first films, Boricua's Bond is wildly uneven.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Much less a satisfying movie than an intermittently funny 90-minute acting audition.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Features less than 10 minutes of music in its mercifully brief 83-minute running time.
    • 78 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Anderson, in her first major non-Scully film role, is lethally miscast.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Remarkably sluggish and not particularly suspenseful.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Pandaemonium plays like a bus-and-truck version of such Ken Russell's '60s classics as "The Music Lovers."
    • 58 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A real crock.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    First-time writer-director Mark Hanlon lands only glancing blows in this grim black comedy.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    It's bone tired.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A sluggish and prototypically earnest little indie on the not exactly fresh theme of a woman undergoing a midlife crisis.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Li is powerless when the film slows to a crawl to provide a little drama.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A lot more stupid action - and a lot less heart - than the character-driven original, as Stuart ends up rescuing Margalo from Falcon.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    This is the time of the year movie studios traditionally dump their mistakes into theaters -- and boy, did Disney make a whopper with The Count of Monte Cristo.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    After the monster is subdued, then there's a much less humorous, and more mindlessly violent second half.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Relentlessly dopey and vulgar.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    What starts as a fairly lighthearted satire ends in a tiresome, ultra-violent shootout -- and the film pretty much throws away the possibilities of Cruz's gender-bending role.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    It's not uninteresting, but so much footage is given over to earnest discussion of sexual politics that the overall effect is like sitting through a semester's worth of transgender studies.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    One part cabaret, one part travelogue, one part comic heist, one part romantic tearjerker -- and all pretty tedious.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Director Kevin Bray, whose clichéd style betrays his music-video roots, devotes far too much time to the mechanics of the illogical plot.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Do your kids a favor - and take them to see something more worthwhile than the relentlessly vulgar and stupid See Spot Run.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    There are a few good jolts - and a moderate amount of spurting blood - but things pretty much proceed exactly as you think they will.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Given the complete lack of chemistry between Chan and Forlani, their rather awkward lip-lock isn't worth $10 to see. Sadly, neither is anything else here.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Devotes most of its energy to its costumes and makeup, which are fabulous. But that and a tabloid-worthy star just aren't enough to revisit this sordid tale as a kind of twisted comedy.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Features all too much footage of the scowling Burns, who has a narrower range than almost any actor working in Hollywood these days.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The year's most beautiful movie -- and surely one of the dullest.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Never decides whether it wants to be a black comedy, drama, melodrama or some combination of the three. The acting and direction are all over the map in this consistently depressing, if occasionally interesting, slice of life.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A mild cross between "The Big Chill" and "Sex and the City," this English-language German oddity is a romantic comedy passing through on its way to video.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    It isn't as ridiculous as this year's other version of a local best seller set during WWII ("Captain Corelli's Mandolin"), but it's arguably even less entertaining.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Recycles every cliché of the genre to sleep-inducing effect.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Androgynous Clea DuVall's performance shines through a foggily told, vaguely acted coming-of-age tale.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Somewhere along the way, Borstal Boy became fatally compromised.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Repackage clichés and stereotypes with attractive young performers in a simple-minded script that panders to the teen audience.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Mildly interesting.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A yawn-provoking little farm melodrama.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Dennis Rodman isn't half bad as a blond, multiply pierced Interpol agent.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Evokes such deja vu, you'd swear you'd already fallen asleep on the damned thing in the middle of the night on HBO.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A dumb, by-the-numbers children's movie.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Rarely does a movie go so thoroughly wrong in so many ways.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The material in this spy spoof is, pardon the pun, awfully frayed.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    This intense psycho-sexual drama doesn't easily lend itself to the camera.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Though it boasts excellent performances by Anna Friel and Michelle Williams as bosom buddies whose lives meander over three decades, it plods on with a wearying predictability and some truly terrible dialogue.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A truly baffling late entry in the "Pulp Fiction" sweepstakes that ends up drowning in its own pretensions -- along with, quite possibly, what's left of Val Kilmer's movie career.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Strong contender for the weirdest movie released this year.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Mind-numbing, would-be comic-book franchise, which often seems as blind as its hero -- not to mention deaf and dumb.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Even dumber than Perry's "Three to Tango," this latest sitcommy exercise is sporadically funny in spite of itself -- and not quite as dreadful as you would suspect.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Might have been more successful if Darabont and his pal had attempted a Preston Sturges-like farce. Instead, it's played totally without any kind of edge - a fantasy that makes "The Lord of the Rings" look realistic by comparison.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Sitcomish, stereotypical and sporadically funny romantic comedy.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A dull, dumb and derivative horror film.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    This messy, disappointing, self-important and utterly humorless version of the Marvel comic book character may be the toughest flick with a green protagonist to sit through since "The Grinch."
    • 74 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    What Amenabar offers here is an unconvincing, pretentiously artsy pastiche of just about every hoary old gothic thriller you can think of.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    This relentlessly mediocre romantic comedy is basically a pretty arthritic third-generation Xerox of "Annie Hall," with Jason Biggs and Christina Ricci in the old Allen and Keaton parts in a probably quixotic attempt to court the youth market.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    An uninspired recycling of themes that were far more gripping in "The Lion King" and countless other earlier Mouse House classics.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    This (hopefully) final chapter's interminable first hour...showcases some of the clunkiest dialogue and wooden acting since the most recent "Star Wars" movies.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Might have worked as a 10-minute sketch.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The best drag movie since "Vegas in Space." That's hardly a huge recommendation.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    So consistently silly and overwrought that it flirts with the elusive so-bad-it's-entertaining category.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Horror-movie vets Harrington ("Wrong Turn") and Sagemiller ("Soul Survivors") struggle unsuccessfully with characters who are frequently more plastic than Nikki.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A depressingly predictable journey of self-discovery.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A murky and morbid dirge of a gay romance.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Well-meaning yawn-fest.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    This Canadian-South African labor of love has its heart in the right place, even if the leads seem to have been cast more for their hunky looks than their stiff acting.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Disco may still be dead, but Benji: Off the Leash! resurrects another dubious artifact of the '70s - the crudely made family films starring that lovable mutt.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The clichéd and predictable Suspect Zero is the latest evidence that Hollywood has run the serial-killer thriller into the ground through overuse - the same way it earlier exhausted, say, buddy action-comedies.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    About as exciting as watching someone else's home movies -- albeit, beautifully photographed ones.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    One of those painfully earnest -- and pretentious -- little indies in which a pair of emotional cripples neatly resolve all of their problems within 48 hours of meeting each other.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The longest 85-minute road trip you could imagine.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    That Eulogy has any laughs is largely a testament to the understated Romano -- he and Deschanel are the only ones in the cast who aren't straining to be funny.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Sort of "The Da Vinci Code for Dummies."
    • 39 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    As huge a travesty and a bore as 1956's "Alexander the Great," in which Richard Burton looked equally uncomfortable as a blond.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The willfully eccentric Beyond the Sea seems to be telling us a lot more about its star and director, Kevin Spacey, than its ostensible subject.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Macht is the best thing in A Love Song for Bobby Long, but his intelligent performance doesn't justify a tough, and very long, sit.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Amidst the ennui, there are some fine performances.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Isn't as relentlessly vulgar or cartoonish as "The Ladies Man" - nor is it a whole lot more realistic.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Has precious little to add to the canon -- and does so in a highly melodramatic manner.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A pretentious, unsatisfying and ultra-slow-moving thriller.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    An unrelenting assault on the brain and eardrums.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    It's the audience that gets punk'd in this crass and sloppy comic recycling.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    That someone as smart as Duchovny would get bogged down in such predictable treacle is a mystery worthy of investigation by Scully and Mulder.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    A mild, slow-moving drama that belatedly tries to argue that graffiti writers are political artists, not an urban blight.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Ron Howard's bio-pic is an Oscar-baiting fairy tale that manipulates the audience at every turn of the clich.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    There's no real payoff - artistically or emotionally - in Gregory Harrison's gimmicky and tedious psychological thriller November, shot on ugly digital video.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Strictly summer schlock.