As frustrating as it is fascinating, watching the quarterlife characters is like gazing at animals in a zoo.

Each episode tells a different story but in the first two, it's clear the stories won't be all that different from those we've seen a million times before.

Despite a poor job of establishing its characters and their relationships (wait, those two aren't a couple?), The Ex-List begins with a strong, romantic premise.

It's not terrible, not great, just sort of so-so.

Dollhouse isn't awful, but neither is it remarkably good. It's a passable hour of entertainment that shows potential to improve but flails and confuses (and occasionally bores) from the start.

Hour fits comfortably, if unimaginatively, among CBS's other crime procedurals, but with only two regular cast members, it seems like it will have less character development than any of the "CSI" series.

Like other Sci Fi shows of the recent past (think: "Eureka"), Warehouse 13 begins with a strong concept and suffers from weak execution.

The tone varies wildly from action-adventure to serious costume drama.

The Cleaner is the latest in a string of unremarkable basic cable dramas with a brand-name star playing the tough but damaged lead.

It's a mixed bag of un-PC attempts at blue collar humor as four guys yak and try to avoid doing their jobs.

It's possible that Hung will lighten up as time goes on. The weak ending to Sunday's pilot is trite and feels like a half-hearted effort to be uplifting. It doesn't work.

It's a cute, generally uplifting concept but I'm not sure it will work.

Demons quickly devolves into a bland mission-of-the-week show about a boy who doesn't want the responsibility of saving the world ("You can't just hijack someone's life. I had plans!") who is aided by an older mentor (sound familiar, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" fans?).

It's not as funny as either of those hits ["The Big Bang Theory" and "Two and a Half Men"]--and certainly not as good a show as the superior "Bang"--but it is more enjoyable than "Rules of Engagement," which returns at mid-season (unfortunately).

Parks has its funny moments but the comedy's first episode also has a distant and chilly feel to it.

How to Make It in America grows more interesting in episodes after the pilot as Ben's world expands and connections among the characters form. But to get that far viewers may need to be: a) Living Ben's lifestyle, b) Remembering their immature years fondly or, c) Have a high tolerance for slackers whose ambition outpaces their drive and/or intellect.

Business buffs may love it, but Shark Tank lacks the lush visuals of "Survivor" and the star power of Trump. It just doesn't have the same bite.

Party Down can't decide if it wants to be smart-funny or dumb-funny. Maybe if it does, the party will truly begin.

Valley has long displayed a flinty appeal and here he adds a knowing sense of humor. But it will take more than that to get viewers interested enough to take aim at Human Target on a weekly basis.

It's not great, it's not awful. It's an adequate, conventional CBS-y medical drama about transplant surgeons set at Pittsburgh's fictional Three Rivers Regional Medical Center.

They're a bland bunch of characters who say mildly amusing things--there's a pretty good riff on Mary Poppins--in occasionally funny situations, but in the end, "100 Questions" does not cry out to be added to any DVR lineup.

Kate Walsh seemed like a guest star in what should be her show.

Rookie Blue is "Grey's Anatomy" in a police station. And that's about as remarkable as this fairly generic Canadian co-production gets.

The mysteries of Haven do offer some intrigue but coupled with fairly unextraordinary situations and plots, the show may have a tough time convincing viewers to become weekly visitors.

It seems like a typical, sometimes plodding teen soap.

CBS remakes Hawaii Five-0 as just another piece of turn-your-brain-off escapist fare, a loud, action-packed pilot with little heart and less humor.

Robertson is a find. She capably plays both Lux's world-weary, snarky attitude and her vulnerability. She's a large part of what makes Life Unexpected a minor delight, even if its charms are entirely expected.

The show's tone slips between sitcom cheese and push-the-envelope absurdity.

The problem with toning her down is that it means diluting the only thing that distinguishes Body of Proof from all the other crime procedurals, and what's left is a generic show with an above-average star.

There are no television breakthroughs in Breakout Kings, a pretty pat procedural that tries a little harder than some of its predecessors.

Celebrity Apprentice is pretty much in its typical form, which is to say, craziness involving mostly D-list celebrities, including NeNe Leakes, Star Jones, Lisa Rinna, Gary Busey, Mark McGrath and "Survivor" winner Richard Hatch.

There is some decent dialogue but it gets lost in the scenery chewing maw of the show's star.

It's not clear to me that viewers who come to Syfy for actual science fiction will appreciate this series--"Face Off" was more on point and a better show, too--but for fans of reality TV cooking shows, MQK does add a new flavor to the prime-time cooking show palette.

Cinema Verite dramatizes the making of "An American Family," but it dwells too long on the setup and doesn't spend nearly enough time on the public response to the program and the impact that reaction (much of it negative) had on the Louds.

Nine Lives may satisfy undemanding teens in the ABC Family target audience but it'll feel like a retread to others.

Angry Boys will certainly have some appeal to fans of offbeat comedy but it seems unlikely to become a mainstream hit.

There's nothing wrong with any of this except that it doesn't feel fresh or new; there's no added, bewitching spark to a familiar concept.

Football fanatics may appreciate 4th and Forever but to me it seemed more scripted than "FNL."

If the show can rein in some of its more outrageous plot tendencies and focus on music and social issues, it could grow into a Club viewers will want to frequent.

The problem with the show is that it's pretty dull, particularly if you've ever watched any of the similar shows that preceded Alphas. None of the characters feel new, nor do the situations.

Science fiction often is at its best when it raises big questions, but early on it's unclear what the true source of Miracle Day is and where that will take this batch of Torchwood episodes.

Sometimes I think she's brilliant, other times I think she's full of herself. Both sides come through in this fairly dull reality show.

Gratuitous elements aside, Strike Back is a decent enough cops 'n' terrorists drama.

Beneath that glossy sheen, it seems like it will be a procedural crime show like so many other programs on CBS.

Unforgettable is completely forgettable because it brings nothing new to the increasingly creaky crime procedural. CBS has gone to that well over and over, and, credit to them, it's worked.

Compared to so many other crime procedurals, Grimm offers a twist on the usual. It remains to be seen whether that twist will be superficial or substantive.

The characters are all caricature-y stereotypes and the jokes are of the ba-da-dum! variety, but the pilot made me laugh more than some other new comedies, mostly due to the performances.

You may not come away knowing whether you like it, but you won't be bored.

Touch feels like yet another series--last week it was Alcatraz--that seemed like a better idea for a one-shot movie than a weekly TV series.

This needs to evolve into a smarter, less formulaic show before it's worth watching.

There's still some fun to be had watching True Blood but it offers more soap than satire or social commentary these days.

Once viewers accept it for the mediocre melodrama it is, they'll be more satisfied, tuning in for the strong performances and high production values while rolling their eyes at the umpteenth red herring and illogical plot turn.

The single-camera comedy is not particularly memorable, but it could have been much worse.

Bent is not a terrible show but it's not particularly good either.

She's maybe-sorta a prostitute but the show's tone is light, frothy and downright sentimental when Riley gives emotional support to her male clients.

If only what's new about Scandal was supported by something better than blah writing, ludicrous situations and cardboard characters.

The result is overly broad and narrow at the same time.

It's just kind of meh and a TV show with a devil at the center should be more fun than that.

As TV shows go, Toy Hunter is a bit dull.

If this all seems too precious, well, it is. But the show is saved by Ms. Gummer and a relentless pace.

It's a cute concept but producers don't seem to have a knack for proper execution, filling time with terribly padded segments--picking teams takes an eternity--and challenges (watching people play chess in the premiere) that, try as they might, don't make for compelling TV.

It's a small character study about a large man who comes off as a terrorizing buffoon.

Fans of these true crime shows may be intrigued by My Life Is a Lifetime Movie but viewers hoping for a series as irreverent as this title suggests may be disappointed.

Not wild enough, not funny enough, Wedding Band comes off as merely OK entertainment.

Spartacus worked best when it was an ancient "Upstairs Downstairs" with the house of Battiatus as the "upstairs" component and the gladiator school as the "downstairs." With that element gone, the show has no natural home base and feels a bit unmoored.

In execution, Mr. Selfridge is a bit of a slog.

Defiance is less gritty than Syfy's best series, "Battlestar Galactica," and the characters aren't as well drawn as on the superior "Farscape." "Defiance" lands at a slightly higher end of the murky middle ground of quality.

Through the show's first four episodes, an unexpected love triangle develops among three of Carroll's devotees that's tinged with unexpected sexual politics and questions about sexual identity. It's the only aspect of 'The Following' that feels fresh. Too bad this plot only serves as a side dish; the main course is the same old reheated serial killer/crime solver hash.

So although the details aren't quite right, the concept of Cult remains intriguing. Perhaps, like Mr. O'Bannon's "Farscape," Cult will improve over time.

It often plays more like an action film than a serious interpretation of a holy book.

Rogue starts to become a little more intriguing [by the second episode], but the show only gets to that point after the clichéd set-up and almost two hours spent with a self-destructive lead character.

If Mr. Goyer fumbles the pilot in introducing Leonardo's world, he salvages the endeavor in episode two with a good story about da Vinci's inventions for the Medicis.

Overall, it's a mixed bag as Nurse Jackie settles into what will surely be its latter years without its creators at the helm.

Family Tools is an occasionally funny (but mostly not) show about a son who takes over his father's handyman business.

Though there are surprises and crosses and double-crosses in the show's waning minutes, Alias fails to make me care much about its characters, their future or understanding who the good guys are and who the bad guys are. "La Femme Nikita" kept these mysteries beguiling in its early seasons; Alias can't manage to do that in its first episode. [30 Sept 2001, p.TV-5]

"24" still maintains some of its trademark intensity, but too often in these first four hours, the show is smack-your-forehead laughable.

As soaps go, The O.C. has its positive attributes, but the show is at its most enjoyable when it's focused on the family at the core. Anytime it strays into the world of the wealthy kids of Newport Beach in Orange County, Calif., it's almost painful because the characters are so detestable and yet bland. [3 Aug 2003, p.TV-5]

The show isn't helped by a two-hour premiere that states and re-states its premise too many times.

They're a largely unlikable lot of crooked cops, adulterers and Hopper's long-winded, nutso music mogul. It's one thing to spend a movie with these characters, but it's quite another to tune in for 13 weeks.

The premise, though bold, isn't as revolutionary as the "24" format, and the pilot is seriously lacking in thrills for an alleged thriller.

"What About Brian" isn't a terrible show, it just doesn't offer enough unique reasons to make a weekly appointment with this gang of friends.

There's too much emphasis on fictional scientific theories and not enough character development to make the few scares in "Threshold" worth a two-hour commitment.

If a show could get by on atmosphere alone, ABC's stylishy shot "Night Stalker" would be an outright success. It is creepy, spooky and scary.... But all this isn't enough to overcome what will likely prove to be an insurmountable problem: casting.

It's an (occasionally) frothy mix -- comedic moments tumble into serious scenes of forensic examination -- that's not altogether terrible, but neither does it beg to be watched on a regular basis.

The same old thing.

The writing in "Old Christine" is occasionally funny in a low-key way, but too often the show is a bore.

Backstage antics are what's supposed to make "Kitchen Confidential" hilarious, but instead the characters just come off as juvenile.

Viewers who like to snicker at cheesy TV movies will get a kick out of Shepherd's imperious and demanding take on Stewart.

It's not atrocious, just sort of bland -- the kind of show we've watched a million times before.

Tonight's premiere is often a huge time-waster, but when it's not boring viewers with the umpteenth meet-the-judges segment and sticks to introducing wacky inventors, it's kind of a hoot.

"Day Break" is both dark and frustrating.

Some of it is funny, some is boring, and some is bound to offend the easily offended.

Thoroughly average and unfailingly adequate, NBC's Lipstick Jungle is easier to like than ABC's cold, cynical "Cashmere Mafia," but that's like putting lipstick on a pig, albeit a pig dressed in couture.

"Runaway" is no "Everwood," which featured complex characters and an exploration of social issues. "Runaway" is far more pedestrian -- "The Fugitive" with a family -- but it may not be any better of a fit with its lead-in "7th Heaven."

"Eureka" just doesn't rise to a "Northern Exposure" level of quality.

Every reality show needs a mix of those you cheer for and those you jeer against, but "Texas Ranch House" has too many of the latter.

But like so many other shows in recent years, this concept would work better as a one-shot movie than as a weekly series.

There's little that's surprising let alone interesting about Carpoolers despite the best efforts of an enthusiastic cast, most notably O'Connell.

Cane is probably the most traditional of these soaps. Unfortunately, it's also hampered by a muddled pilot episode with ham-fisted character introductions and an ending that's likely to put off some viewers.

Moonlight is just a weak, generic private-eye drama with a vampire story overlay.

It's one thing when a TV show sets up a concrete mystery whose resolution you have faith will come, something like, "Who killed Mr. X?" But it's quite another when the show is so abstract that you aren't even sure what questions it asks. Kevin McKidd ("Rome") is an excellent actor, and it's only his skill that makes Journeyman tolerable.

"Meadowlands" demands too much of a slog for too little in return.

David Alan Grier, star of the new Chocolate News gets points for moxie, but the series fails on too many other counts.

It's impossible not to compare the two casts or to find the new version a pale imitation whose characters don't feel fresh in the slightest, because, well, they're not.

Canadian actor Craig Olejnik sports choppy black hair and piercing blue eyes--the only standout attribute in NBC's The Listener, an otherwise generic procedural drama.

Viewers who value character development, logic and plot consistency will be disappointed by this series that's sloppy when it comes to all three. It's often more concerned with looking cool and fun than making sense.

The Unusuals offers an odd combo platter of tones that don't allow the show to jell in its premiere episode.

This sitcom may elicit a few laughs, but the premiere episode is pretty lackluster overall, with obvious punchlines and predictable characterizations.

If you're bereft without new episodes of "House" this summer and willing to settle for a pale imitation, there's always Fox's Mental.

As anyone who has used an old photocopy machine knows, a copy of a copy of a copy is rarely as good as the original. Suspect Behavior comes across as a show in search of a purpose beyond the obvious brand extension.

Ultimately, the real question is not "Who Do You Think You Are?" but Why Should Viewers Care? This series does not offer a persuasive response.

This new season seems more forced than usual.

The pilot offers a deft introduction to the characters and their situations. It's just unfortunate that more care wasn't taken to create a show that feels fresh--The Deep End is rather moldy.

Tonight's extended episode--it runs until 11:15 p.m.--comes off as the trashier, less sophisticated cousin to "Project Runway." If that's the appeal of "Runway," then have at it. But if you're a design fan, The Fashion Show may prove to be an unfashionable disappointment.

Given the ubiquity of "Real Housewives" shows, it may be a sign of equality for a show about househusbands, but adding to the lame reality show glut does not feel like societal progress.

The characters can better be distinguished from one another than the ciphers in "Three Rivers" but they still need time to develop and become something approaching realistic.

Great TV always flows from the specificity of a show's characters; "Happy Town" traffics in banal generalities.

A series that doesn't give viewers enough reason to care in its premiere episode.

"The Good Guys" isn't really good but it is OK if all you seek from TV is bland, comfortable entertainment--the same type of program you were watching 30 years ago.

Written by I. Marlene King ("Just My Luck"), Tuesday's premiere is a generally predictable introduction that too often plays like a bad "Saturday Night Live" parody of a teen soap.

Fans of zombies and the absurd may want to tune in but there's nothing funny or interesting enough in Ugly Americans to keep me coming back.

If you watched Leno on "The Tonight Show," you'll probably watch him in prime time. If you didn't, I can't imagine why you would now, especially once original programming returns to ABC and CBS next week.

Producers of The CW's new series have taken the bones of the Nikita story and grafted on a new recruits sub-plot, sort of ideal for young CW audience, but it also makes for a convoluted series pilot that bounces around from one hollow story line to another.

The show's premise has enormous potential--it's essentially a live-action version of "The Incredibles," about a family that gains superpowers--but Tuesday's premiere disappoints with its slow-moving plot and whiny characters.

The plot of the $#*! premiere episode marks an improvement on the first pilot as it scraps an uncomfortable real estate scheme story in favor of better establishing the relationship between Henry and Ed, but the show's humor is still too often as crude as its title.

If you're able to get past the ridiculous premise--and, admittedly, I was not --Outlaw still suffers from other problems, including two-dimensional supporting characters.

It's not funny enough, the characters don't make much of an impression and the "Porky's"-style humor is too tame to have the requisite impact.

Great as it is to see Ms. Badler again, her appearance can't save a show that's so poorly acted and written that the characters spout exposition but rarely say anything that sounds like something a real person would say. V looks and sounds like a cheap cable series rather than the big-budget network show it should be.

If not for the polarizing nature of its star--people who love her and hate her will tune in to revel in her Palin-ness or mock her for it--no one would be talking about this dull, derivative TV show.

It's a strange little show: A light-hearted half-hour caper that purports to be a comedy but isn't really that funny.

Traffic Light seems to want to be a male "Sex and the City" or "Entourage" without the Hollywood backdrop. But the scrapes these guys get into are more recognizable and more cliched than what the "Entourage" guys encounter.

Despite strong production values and an intriguing premise, Outcasts lumbers along, perhaps done in by trying to tackle too many themes.

This retelling of the Arthurian legend feels overly familiar and there's just not enough that's new or different to make it worthwhile.

It suffers from predictable jokes that are more likely to conjure a hint of a smile, not a belly laugh.

Imagine any "M• A• S• H"-style cliche and odds are good it will turn up in Combat Hospital whose predictability makes it a dull summer entry that may encourage viewers of this week's premiere to become deserters before next week's episode.

Perhaps with more attention to concrete character details and less reliance on silly stereotypes, Hart of Dixie will manage to grow into a show that does not provoke multiple fits of eye rolling.

Same Name is a show made for people who live and breathe E! and TMZ.com. Cynics need not tune in.

Whisker Wars gives a few glimpses into the care regimen of these mens' beards but fails to ask or answer an essential question: Why do they bother?

It feels like a retread--and a toothless one at that.

It moves fast and doesn't wait for viewers to catch all the jokes that are made. Some of the dialogue is clever but it's more savvy than it is hilarious and viewers come to broadcast network comedies for the funny stuff. Making matters worse, the two leads are humorless sad sacks.

Hell on Wheels is not a bad show, but it's also not engrossing.

Maybe as an animated sketch on "Saturday Night Live," Allen Gregory would leave viewers eager for more. But in half-hour form, it's too much of the same.

Everything in Neverland is a quest as characters run from one large set piece to another without much character development except in minor strokes that are predictable and rudimentary.

The Firm tries to marry case-of-the-week stories with a conspiracy plot. It doesn't succeed.

There's no sophisticated humor in FX's Unsupervised, which plays like a less witty "Beavis and Butt-head."

NYC 22 is very much a prototypical CBS show--it lacks ambition but it's not terrible.

Fashion Star remains a cool idea. But its execution and formatting need work.

Mostly the show, as these reality series are wont to do, follows the dysfunction within the family.

As far as medical stories go, there's not much in Saving Hope viewers haven't seen before (and better) elsewhere, including on "Grey's Anatomy."

The show is not so much awful as it is a colorless copy of better shows that have come before.

While it's hard to imagine that the show won't continue if it's a hit, Sunday's premiere marks an inauspicious debut that ignores the sound advice given to all writers: show, don't tell.

Sheen's obvious, minimally funny new sitcom.

It's also similar to Fox's "Raising Hope," except that "Raising Hope" offers smart comedy and Baby Daddy is stuck in the realm of TGIF humor.

The result is not all that funny but more interesting than what most stand-up TV programs deliver.

Viewers who don't mind being dragged along for a ride, who are gluttons for punishment ("X-Files" faithful, perhaps), may want to join in John Doe's search. For the rest of us, Doe will remain the personification of an unsolved mystery. [20 Sept 2002, p.40]

Ben and Kate has its moments of inspired, gonzo idiocy but mostly it's like spending a half-hour with someone you can't stand.

This comedy is full of stock jokes, stock characters and even a stock premise.

It's not that the show is terrible--it's not--but it brings nothing new to the firefighter drama format.

All the cliches of unscripted cable drama (like "The Real Housewives..." shows) are present, including in-fighting by a few members of the clique and ridiculous displays of opulence.

Bland and toothless, this drama, about a woman who ends up working in organized crime, attempts to meld suburban mommy drama with a mob story but fails to come up with anything that’s remotely interesting to watch.

Preachers' Daughters is pretty much the show you expect/fear it will be but with just one girl who's really gone down a bad path.

It almost feels like a weird, little indie film if indie films were somewhat flat and predictable.

Like so many of these relationship reality shows, The Bachelor is cheesy and the whiff of desperation wafting off the contestants is strong. A preview for future episodes promises jealousy, back stabbing and cat fights as the bachelorettes vie for the main man...What do you want to bet this one won't make the National Organization for Women's Top 10? [22 Mar 2002, p.36]

Viewers who like their comedy broad, loud and silly might take a liking to this "Odd Couple"-like sitcom.

When it comes to both character and story, there's really not much in "Conviction" viewers haven't seen before.

Showing the evidence really adds nothing as the story twists, turns and contorts itself in an attempt to keep viewers from tuning out before the hour is up.

It appears Freddie Prinze Jr. studied at the Matt LeBlanc School of Acting given his mumbling performance and nice-guy-cum-neanderthal portrayal of Freddie Moreno.

"Just Legal" is just tedious.

I only made it through the first hour and then I gave up.

The problem with "Reunion" is that beyond the show's gimmick, there's not much to draw viewers in. The characters lack depth and personality and the situations are -- yawn -- overly familiar.

At first glance... it comes off as silly sci-fi, a not-so-intriguing series that wades into all-too-similar waters as two other fall shows. The difference in this one is that the water is noticeably more shallow.

The show is neither funny enough to be a comedy nor dramatic enough to be an engaging drama.

Romijin... [is] too cold and aloof to play the lead.

It's all a bunch of mush, but I suspect it's mush that will find a receptive audience.

A disappointingly sex-obsessed sitcom.

"Out of Practice" relies on trite misunderstandings and crude dialogue, both go-to gags for uninspired sitcom scribes.

Dresden's investigations amount to a lot of ho-hum hokum... and his relationships are largely paint-by-number bland.

This story of two computer I.T. guys and their computer illiterate boss is overly obvious and plays on stereotypes in an over-the-top way that may have been au courant in the '80s but feels woefully dated today.

A lackluster "Sex and the City" companion.

"Vanished" is a show that should leave viewers begging for more, but instead engenders more of a shrug because nothing in the pilot is convincing -- not the characters, not the setting, not the performances.

A mere wisp of a show, so lighter than air that it threatens to float away at any moment.

It's another one of those dismissable, disposable, oh-so-slight comedies.

"Desire" features better production values than a daytime soap, but just as wooden acting by its no-name cast and terrible dialogue.

A soapy, shallow look at how gossip is currency in Hollywood.

The miniseries asks a lot of patience on the part of viewers and gives too little in return.

The show squanders any high-mindedness with ridiculous shoot-'em-up scenes reminiscent of any cop show circa 1979.

In a way, Unhitched reminds me of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" in its attempts to shock, but this new series feels more manufactured and far less likely to become a cult hit.

It gets bogged down by so many procedural elements that all the character moments get squished and forced out around the edges, resulting in an uninteresting blob of an overly familiar TV show.

By the end of the third episode of the second season there have been multiple hookups and breakups, enough to make your head spin or bore you to tears. Alas, I found myself experiencing more of the latter.

Where the travails, conquests and bad behavior in "Entourage" come off as dramatic, clever and imaginative, "Sons of Hollywood" is just like any other celebreality show: More boorish behavior by rich people.

"Halfway House" is occasionally amusing but the characters are not well-formed.

Writers Steven Long Mitchell and Craig W. Van Sickle are certainly inventive, if inventive can mean willing-to-crib-from-sci-fi-culture-past, but the Tin Man story doesn't hang together well.

A show that's more boring than funny, an investment of entertainment time that's not worth making.

Kath & Kim is based on an Australian hit series of the same name but this Americanized version is an unpleasant way to pass a half-hour.

Merlin looks, well, typically British with shoddy production values. Worse, it tells dull stories.

It's difficult to imagine many "Dancing" viewers will be suckered into watching this unimaginative, predictable comedy series for more than the first couple of minutes.

The Easy Money production values are low all-around but they wouldn't be as noticeable if the characters and tedious story sparked to life. They don't, and it doesn't.

The Eastwick characters are fairly generic types who are too bland and predictable to be involving.

The conclusion is that a great cast and a singular location can't carry a scattershot script that goes in and out of focus.

Unlike "Jackie," nothing in Mercy feels real or believable, particularly the naivete of the recent grad student newbie nurse, who acts as if she's never been in a hospital.

Hank is the kind of show Dr. Frasier Crane would sneer at, which makes it particularly sad to see Kelsey Grammer reduced to starring in this ABC sitcom as a Dumb Daddy.

The show is a manipulative tearjerker that uses this poor guy's real-life death sentence to milk tears out of viewers. And that makes it a little icky to watch. It's great that Childs gets all sorts of adventures but the blatant effort to wring tears out of viewers made me uncomfortable.

For anyone who's seen the "Spider-Man" films (or even the last, worst season of NBC's "Heroes"), there's little to recommend about this new series that has its bloated, two-hour debut.

It's a shame that the writing makes Off the Map so unwatchable.

With Gigolos, Showtime takes a topic that should be provocative and turns it into nothing more than "The Real Man Whores of Las Vegas."

Love in the Wild is undeniably a waste of time and brain cells.

It feels both orchestrated and dated, like a show whose time came and went around the same TV era that "Home Improvement" aired in.

Hey, with a name like Charlie's Angels, at least viewers have a pretty good idea of what they're going to get: action, attractive women and gorgeous locations--but not much else.

Twists begin to pile up like they're falling out of a How To Write Noir handbook. And that may be the show's biggest problem: It feels contrived, which makes the audience feel manipulated.

The show is gleefully rude in keeping with Ms. Handler's personal style, but 8:30 p.m. seems way too early for explicit sex jokes.

H8R feels contrived whether there's a happy ending or not, so there's not much point in watching except perhaps for the initial confrontation between the hater and the object of his/her scorn if that's the kind of uncomfortable drama you crave.

Subtlety is not this show's strong suit. That lack of tonal balance dooms the show.

Aggressively dumb, sex-obsessed and occasionally misogynistic.

Bag of Bones rarely scares but frequently induces unintentional giggles.

Other than re-living some of Napoleon's favorite catchphrases from the 2004 movie, there's not much enjoyment to be gleaned from this obvious, unfunny episode.

Missing is like a bad Lifetime movie blown up into a weekly series.

Men at Work is mostly an unfunny, uninteresting look at four work buddies.

[A] silly, unnecessary reboot.

There's nothing wrong with TV Land trying to revive the old-school, multi-camera sitcom but the pilot for this show wouldn't have cut it in the 1980s.

Lousy writing and stale characters rule in Malibu Country.

It's a silly time-waster with terrible commentary by hosts Jamie Kennedy and Jessi Cruickshank.

Fox's preposterous organized crime/medical show combo platter The Mob Doctor manages to be silly and sappy.

Do No Harm is a ridiculous show with plenty of lines of groaner dialogue.

It’s got a worthy premise that’s larded up with unfunny, over-the-top characterizations.

Overcooked and preposterous to the point of being laughable.

Problem is, the characters are neither likeable enough to cheer for nor despicable enough to loathe. They're just sort of unformed lumps of gray clay with a few stereotypical streaks of color.

An often lighthearted medical show set in a Los Angeles fertility clinic, NBC's "Inconceivable" lacks the grit of "ER," the heart of "Scrubs" and the soapy shenanigans of "Grey's Anatomy," leaving an empty husk of a series.

"The Game" lacks the relationships that made "Girlfriends" a qualified UPN hit and the comedy to make it much of anything for The CW.

Seriously lacking in laughs.

The biggest problem with "so noTORIous" is that the laughs, when they come, are few and far between.

The laugh track is far too enthusiastic for the lame attempts at comedy on display here.

Filled with terrible dialogue.

Dull and plodding, "Hunters" is no reality TV treasure.

It had a weak pilot to begin with, but the second episode is even more of a tedious bore.

"October Road" is perhaps one of the most clumsily plotted, illogical drama pilots to be produced in years.

Another single-camera comedy that fails to provide any laughs.

Miscast and only intermittently funny, Jezebel James misfires on all cylinders.

Flash Gordon is a victim of pedestrian scripting. Worse yet, the characters are forced to spout too much exposition that betrays what should be the characters' natural reactions.

Utterly unpleasant and unfunny, Fox's dispiriting Sons of Tucson may be the worst comedy series of a generally winning 2009-10 TV season.

An awful show about awful people.

There's exactly one funny moment in the dreadful Fox sitcom I Hate My Teenage Daughter.

There's a lot that's terrible about Bristol Palin: Life's a Tripp.... But this show adds additional layers of hypocrisy and silliness.

The CW's Beauty is laughably bad in myriad ways. There's no sense of star-crossed lovers, just a plasticized romance between a Cover Girl and a glum, anger-prone male model.

The pilot episode jumps all over the place without establishing characters or their relationships.... [A] failure to connect the dots is a common problem for Hemlock Grove.

Watching this one gave me a headache in about 17 minutes. You've been warned.

A crummy comedy.

Just as awful as "Locusts" was.

I'll give "Unan1mous" this: At least it's more efficient than some reality shows, wasting only a half-hour of a viewer's time. But that's still 30 minutes you don't have to spend wallowing in this muck.

Besides being uninspired, "Rules" isn't all that funny.

At least "'Til Death" has some known stars. The cast of "Happy Hour" will likely remain unknown, starring, as they do, in this dud.

Never mind the unbelievable premise -- the way the audience is introduced to it is so strained it's painful to watch.

The pilot plot... follows a well-worn path of sitcoms traceable back to when cavemen acted them out with large dinosaur bones as props.

This comedy is just not funny.

Never thought a TV comedy would leave me wistful for Silverman's NBC bomb "The Single Guy," but "In Case of Emergency" manages to do just that.

One of the more awful projects to hit CBS prime time in years.