Best advice: Wait for Two Men Went to War to go to the small screen.

What could have been a biting dark comedy is, instead, uninspired and generic. The contrived, everybody's-happy finale just makes things worse.

Never rises above the level of a soap opera, although the steamy sex and Lo's abundant nudity might make it worthwhile for some viewers.

Can't decide if it's a martial-arts thriller or a sappy soap opera.

The screen comes alive only at the end, when a frightening tornado destroys the seaside village.

It's a touching story that deserves to be told. Unfortunately, Slesin's presentation is conventional and uninspired (lots of boring talking heads). These heroes deserve better.

Has some truly touching and funny moments. But it goes on for too long and bogs down in a surfeit of characters and unnecessary subplots.

Has a sexy cast and is gorgeous to watch -- but it takes more than that to make a movie worth seeking out.

You know exactly how this thing is going to turn out before it's even half over.

PAGING Pedro Almodovar! We have a movie badly in need of your help.

The movies of prolific and popular Japanese director Takashi Miike evoke many emotions -- nausea, excitement, awe, amazement, shock. One emotion they don't often evoke is boredom. Sad to say,Dead or Alive: Final is boring.

Too-convenient coincidences hurt the movie's credibility. A melodramatic script best left to cable TV doesn't help, either.

Mawkish and manipulative, the film isn't worthy of its widely praised German director.

Things move so swiftly and confusingly that there's little time to explore any of the people in depth. Less style and more substance is definitely called for.

These were people willing to take chances. Would that Trank had taken chances in telling their stories.

Whaley gives an earnest performance, especially when he's articulating his frustrations during his monologues. But it's all relentlessly glum. The film, like Jimmy's routines, could use a few good laughs.

Pleasant but lifeless love story.

It's rather sweet and life-affirming, although the transformation from sophisticate to peasant happens too conveniently and quickly.

The film's strong point is its stylish, arty look, carefully chosen composition and shadowy lighting.

The subject is worth exploring - unfortunately, de Seve does so in a cut-and-dried manner that never explains why these two couples were able to stay together for so long.

An overwrought Taiwanese soaper.

Gets off to a worthy start, but falls apart about halfway through.

The movie is no more than a TV sitcom stretched to feature length. All that's missing is the laugh track.

If only its characters weren't such stereotypes.

Campy and clichéd.

This is Ebiri's first feature after directing four shorts. He shows talent, but shouldn't give up his day job just yet.

The Inheritance has a promising start but soon becomes preachy and melodramatic.

Carion, in his feature debut, means well, and his characters are lovable. But the plot is so predictable and sentimental that viewers are likely to lose interest before Sandrine and her goats walk off into the sunset.

If you're thinking of taking the kids to Bear Cub because the title sounds like something they'd enjoy -- don't!

Touches on issues raised in "Bad Education," but without Pedro Almodovar's flamboyant elegance.

It's mindless entertainment, so take it or leave it.

A flawed black comedy about two buddies who open a butcher's shop in a small Danish town.

If you think you've seen Imaginary Heroes before, you're right -- only it was called "The Ice Storm," or maybe "Ordinary People."

The story is told in fractured time. This might not be a problem if his visuals were more fear-inducing.

The Grudge offers a bit more exposition than did "Ju-On," but the plot is still wispy.

At some two hours, the film is 30 minutes too long. Cutting out the melodrama and sticking with the daring-do is the answer.

For one thing, it goes on too long. But it looks good, the cast is perky.

Technically competent. What it needs is an original script.

Most of the dialogue is in English, almost all of the story takes place in the U.S., and there is none of the kitschy fun that gives Bollywood flicks their charm.

Can't overcome the familiar, soapy script.

The plot of Attitude isn't exactly original and won't have you sitting on the edge of your seat. But Nilsson knows how to create a noirish mood, and some of the camera work is interesting, if pretentious.

The result is anti-Army propaganda rather than a balanced piece of reporting.

A toe-tapping, booty- shaking look at Cubans' love of music that gets bogged down in political thoughts that go unexplored.

Green's odd little movie is clever -- too clever, as it turns out.

Wolman gets his point across, but he does so in such a predictable, contrived and sappy manner that viewers aren't likely to care. And the final plot twist is a cop-out.

A melodramatic import from Algeria, is so relevant in this age of global terrorism, it's a shame it isn't much better.

Despite some fancy editing, Forget Baghdad is forgettable.

Bogdanich's film contends that the bombing of Yugoslavia by NATO in 1999 was the result of blunders by the West, and that the forces supported by the United States in Bosnia and Kosovo are allied with Osama bin Laden.

That's all laudable - but Perry, a longtime filmmaker, should have given the doc more urgency and punch.

There aren't many surprises as the story unfolds in soap-opera fashion, with a happy ending for all concerned.

An old-fashioned soaper that will please or not, depending on a viewer's tolerance for schmaltz.

A soggy love story doesn't help this instance of style over substance.

The charming cast...brightens up the screen, but the TV-sitcom script does them in.

You can't help wondering how prisoners who practiced Vipassana fared as free men.

Offers interesting views of ordinary life in Baghdad that Americans won't find on TV news. But the impact is lessened by the director's failure to let those who think the war is justified have their say.

Filled with nostalgia for old Chinese movies, respectable performances and lively kung-fu slapstick.

The director, Queens-born Adam Watstein, who also edited and co-produced, deserves credit for making a film with modest resources.

A sweet comedy with a bright cast and few surprises, the film did well in China, where it was aimed at teenagers. Since Hilary Duff isn't in the cast, its success probably won't cross over to America.

Everybody involved in 39 Pounds of Love probably had the best of intentions. But watching the filmmakers scurry about to record every last tear, I couldn't help but feel that this twisted little man was being exploited.

Of historical interest, although a more experienced filmmaker would have made more of the sudden rush of events - and avoided the temptation to put himself or herself into nearly every frame, as Grappell does.

Mildly diverting, but lacks humor and pathos.

Going Under is the feature directorial debut of 65-year-old Eric Werthman, who has been a practicing psychotherapist for a quarter of a century. If you're not already seeing a shrink, Mr. Werthman, may we suggest that you start immediately.

Brabbee, artistic director of the Nantucket Film Festival, is to be commended for her dedication to this project, but the film isn't hefty enough for a theatrical release. Public TV would be a better showcase.

After sitting a while in front of my computer trying to come with the right word to describe the Argentine soaper Family Law, I've settled on "diverting." You will be entertained, but you won't tax your brain.

The psychobabble makes for dry filmmaking until Schreber starts going fem. From that point on, it's every man for himself.

Pleasant enough, with funny moments.

The result is entertaining but hardly memorable.

Sweet but not especially original.

You have to wonder just how true to life the melodramatic depiction of these events is, especially since the film was made in partnership with TV's "Masterpiece Theater."

Albert elicits good performances from her cast, but she fails to give viewers reason to care about their characters.

It pains me to report that his Zebraman is a disappointment.

Make a movie about depressed people, and what do you get? A depressing movie.

The story is contrived. Would you believe a high-rise window-washer just happening to be cleaning the window of the room where, at that very moment, his wife is being raped by her boss? Didn't think so.

Claiming that from Korea to Vietnam to Iraq, the US government has misled the public - and the media - on the reasons for going to war.

Will Marcela (wonderful Ana Geislerova) opt for brains or brawn? The answer might surprise you.

Gerren's story is fascinating, but Roberts dilutes it by going off on tangents about unsafe cosmetics and phony plastic surgeons. Both topics need exploring - just not here. There's more than enough drama in Gerren's life.

Good-natured, lightweight fun, although clichéd and more suited to DVD and cable than the big screen.

The fractured timeline covers five decades, which Miller weaves together, with the past shot in color and the present in black and white. Still, the soapy climax is unnecessary.

The film is loving but shallow.

LaBruce devotees will be tickled pink; others will be perplexed and/or disgusted.

Glosses over the depression and alcoholism that have bedeviled Walker as well as any relationships he might have had. But that doesn't make the film any less interesting.

The script doesn't offer anything especially new, but Burman infuses the film with innovative lensing and capable acting.

The film works best when we see N'Dour onstage. He has a great set of pipes and is nothing if not charismatic.

Stick around till the end. You don't want to miss an unexpected cameo from a filmmaker I won't name. Hint: He's short, likes younger women and isn't Woody Allen.

As directed by Ole Christian Madsen, the thriller features well-choreographed shootouts and assassinations. But the script is too melodramatic and complicated for its own good.

Has some witty dialogue and sprightly performances by Karen Black, Andrea Marcovicci, Victoria Tennant and others.

The direction is never more than conventional, with a tear-inducing finale better suited to a TV soap opera.

Less an adventure yarn than a character study of two old guys with fading memories and improbable dreams.

Medina has taken a series of vignettes and fashioned them into a feature film as aimless as Luciano’s life. There’s no buildup or payoff; still, Hendler’s laid-back performance makes Medina’s film worth seeking out.

On the plus side, Derek McKane's moody camerawork makes Gotham look grand. Too bad it's wasted on The Last New Yorker.

It would have been nice to learn as much about Sar the man as about Sar the dancer.

The film is well-constructed, as one would expect from Gondry, but it offers little reason for anyone outside the family circle to care about dear old Tante Suzette.

The acting is super -- these guys know how to be sweet and disgusting -- and the story provides its share of laughs. But after a while, the one-note movie, directed by Felix van Groeningen, grows tiresome.

The film tastefully handles the sensitive subject, but it lacks the bite that a Michael Moore would have provided.

Borderline clichéd, and it makes getting a US visa seem way too easy. But I can think of much worse ways to spend an hour and a half than watching this absurdist comedy.

The fine supporting cast includes Steve Buscemi, as a cynical American doctor who at first doesn't get along with Rabe; and Anne Consigny, as the French head of a local school for Chinese girls.

An interesting but flawed look at the birth of the French New Wave.

The opening credits of Gangster's Paradise note that it was "inspired by real events." It would be more accurate to say that the film was inspired by Brian De Palma's "Scarface" and similar fare.

The film has no ready answers, although it becomes abundantly clear that both those for and against charter schools are more concerned with covering their own asses than with helping students get a quality education.

If you want an introduction to the director's work, you're better off with "La Belle Noiseuse" (1991) and his masterpiece, "Celine and Julie Go Boating" (1974).

Fails as a detective story, but it does offer an entertaining look at the punk scene in the 1970s.

Despite strong performances by Gerard Jugnot as the crime-busting prosecutor and Veronica D'Agostino as the adult Rita, The Sicilian Girl never lives up to its potential.

The writer-director, who goes by the name J Blakeson, keeps the suspense level high for the first hour or so, but he then indulges in a few plot twists that strain credibility.

If animal slaughter makes you queasy, this movie isn't for you. Along with several cockfights, there's a long scene in which a pig is butchered. The folks at PETA would be most unhappy. People don't fare much better than the animals, with blood flowing in a seemingly unending barrage of violence.

Under writer-helmer Rehana Mirza, the acting and direction are workmanlike, but the plot is full of hackneyed characters and contrived events better suited to TV than the big screen.

There are moments of fun (an aphrodisiac-laced dessert, for example), but generally the humor seems warmed-over.

The acting by Seigner, Marina Hands, Karin Viard, Patrick Bruel and other French notables is first-rate, although their characters and what they have to say are trite.

An affable comedy that, unfortunately, has too many characters and subplots for its own good. The film also could do without the stereotypical character of a gay wedding planner who is supposed to be funny -- but is just embarrassing and clichéd.

Neil Jordan's Ondine has a split personality. It starts promisingly as a fantasy but ends disappointingly as a thriller.

The film is conventional in style and is likely to mean more to the sadly forgotten musician's fans than to others.

If you're looking for great action scenes, you've found them. But if you desire more than eye candy, such as character and plot development and historical accuracy, you'll have to look elsewhere.

None of its characters is especially interesting.

The clichéd, heavy-handed script lets them down.

The longer director Jan Hrebejk's film goes on, the more complex the relationships become, until the film becomes little more than a talkathon.

A slim story that becomes schmaltzy at the end.

At 132 minutes, the film is at least half an hour too long. Nobody asked me, but the best solution would be to keep the action sequences (such as the robbery of a horse-drawn steam train, an homage to Sergio Leone's "Once Upon a Time in the West''), and scrap the allegedly "witty'' dialogue and difficult-to-follow plot twists.

Call it "The Doom Generation II." Gregg Araki's Kaboom returns to the trippy ways of his 1995 erotic head trip.

Kekilli delivers a perfectly tuned performance. Too bad the script is often clunky and melodramatic, as the first-time director, Vienna-born Feo Aladag, tries to manipulate viewers' emotions.

An uplifting story to be sure, but director-producer David Swajeski doesn't do it justice.

An example of style over substance. There's lots of slo-mo and jittery hand-held camera work, and references to the French New Wave (especially François Truffaut), but little depth.

Sadly, with the Soviet Union gone, the art faces a new enemy: Islamic extremists.

Suffers from a lack of focus and a sitcom script.

It's just that the script, which Ozon adapted from a play, is lightweight and better-suited to stage than screen.

Too bad it lacks a substantial story to go along with the kick-ass combat scenes.

It's also sugary and has a silly tear-jerker ending. But I found myself laughing at the film's gentle humor, anyway.

Beautifully filmed and well-acted, "The Gift to Stalin," directed by Rustem Abdrashev, has its schmaltzy, cliched moments, including an unnecessary finale in Jerusalem.

As my cat, Audrey, will confirm, I love animals. But I draw the line at having lions, tigers, gigantic snakes, bears and other predators as pets. Other people have different opinions.

There's little new in Armadillo.

Unpretentious, TV-style documentary.

A downer that too often resorts to melodrama.

Overall, however, it's sappy and predictable -- fun to watch, perhaps, but instantly forgettable.

Too bad the script is predictable at every turn.

Buck is best left to TV, where it will land soon. It's "The Horse Whisperer" that should be seen on the big screen.

Hugh Jackman appears briefly as Sophia's Aussie boyfriend, and gets to perform a lively song-and-dance number. But for some strange reason, his name isn't in the credits.

Ultimately breaks down under the weight of too many characters and unbelievable twists.

It's a clever concept that should play well on TV and the Internet. But as a big-screen movie, Life in a Day -- which lists brothers Tony and Ridley Scott as producers -- elicits a shrug and a question: Who cares?

Earthwork is best left to TV.

Not a definitive portrait of the designer, nor does it pretend to be. But it should be of interest to viewers even if there's not a single YSL label in their wardrobes.

Tykwer exhibits a fondness for split screens and other eye candy but no interest in formalities like character and plot development. By the time we reach the kitchy final scene, we've had our fill of visual tricks.

If the plot of the Argentine soaper Puzzle seems familiar, that's because it's nearly identical to the story in the French movie "Queen To Play."

While I have no argument with Leeson's political views, her presentation -- mostly a succession of talking heads -- is dry and uninspired. These women deserve better.

Strained and mildly amusing. The real reason to see the movie is the delightful performance by Sara Forestier, who rightly won the French version of the Oscar for her portrayal of the carefree Baya.

Levy's innovative movie should appeal to mumblecore fans while perplexing mainstream audiences.

Potash's film tells an important and disturbing story, but his presentation is uninspired and non-cinematic. It's best left to TV.

Trouble is, the movie is only sporadically funny, and the concept soon grows tiresome. In fact, you could say that there's too much downtime in Autoerotic.

The generic plot is redeemed by exciting action sequences, good-looking location photography and a hot sex scene involving a femme fatale named Lea (pixie-haired Melanie Thierry).

All this is loads of fun, but after a while sensory overload sets in, dulling the mind. Even in a kung-fu flick, more isn't always better.

This new movie features stylishly filmed and choreographed battles. But in between the set pieces is a lot of sentimental blather that slows down the film. More action, less talk should be the order of the day, but it isn't.

Has a few things going for it -- a winning performance by Luchini and a small role by Pedro Almodóvar favorite Carmen Maura. But these talented folks can't compensate for a plot that strains credulity and lacks badly needed social bite. Wait for the DVD.

A protegé of Gus Van Sant, Archer -- who also makes short films and music videos -- has a wild imagination he has trouble harnessing. He doesn't know the meaning of "too much." But Barkin, in short, blond hair, is superb, as usual, and Aaron Platt's cinematography is stunning. Here's hoping Archer gets his s - - t together in feature No. 3.

Yearning for an exciting African adventure? Oka! isn't it.

Young Goethe looks great, and the cast is appealing. But the story is riddled with clichés and fabrications.

The film opens with a disclaimer: "Although based on real events and people, this is a work of fiction." There should be another warning: Unless you're up to date on French politics, a lot of Googling is needed to follow the players.

The contrived script lacks subtlety, rendering most characters as stereotypes.

Vincent Bal's film should appeal to kids, cat lovers and felines. I give it two stars, and my cat, Audrey, gives it three meows.

The script is cliché-ridden and ends on an overly sentimental note.

An interesting debut for director Pesce, although it isn't worth running out to see. Wait for it to hit the small screen.

Sexploitation and art blend uneasily in Crazy Horse.

Szumowska provides lurid scenes of perverted sex, but she offers no new insight into the sordid world of prostitution and the dangers sex workers face. Nor does she flesh out Charlotte and Alicja. The result is a superficial and voyeuristic film.

All are subjects worthy of discussion, but tackling them in one film disrupts the movie's momentum and shortchanges viewers. Baichwal could have devoted a single film to just BP's disgraceful behavior.

My Way is not, as the title might suggest, a Frank Sinatra biopic. No, it's an eye-popping, empty-headed World War II epic made in South Korea.

The movie is a pleasant way to spend time in the dark, especially for Francophiles, but it won't leave any lasting impression.

Despite the title, there is no nudity in the Chinese rom-com Love in the Buff, although there is a lot of risqué language.

The presentation is conventional in style but uplifting in spirit, and worth seeing even if you know nothing about basketball.

The siblings react with humor and horror to what they discover. So will many viewers of this self-indulgent but engaging work.

Borba keeps referring to himself as "a hero," but the directors, Burt Sun and André Costantini, never delve into his psyche. On the plus side is Costantini's luscious cinematography.

The classical music is soothing, the cinematography handsome and the acting strong, but the Swedish coming-of-age saga Simon and the Oaks is burdened with a sappy, soap-opera-ish script.

The film is one-sided and at times unfocused, but it makes a lot of sense politically.

The documentary is unapologetically one-sided, and spends more time canonizing Abu-Jamal than exploring the murder and trial themselves. Still it raises issues of racism in America (flashback to George Wallace) that are worthy of discussion.

Lackluster anime.

Fails to elicit any substantive information from his (Tommy Davis) subjects. And he fails to put their plight into perspective.

Arlyck spends more time following himself and his own lefty family than checking up on Sean.

If you go to the movies to ogle topless young women, Simon is definitely for you. If, on the other hand, you want something more cerebral with your $10 ticket and overpriced snacks, stay clear of this Dutch melodrama.

The story is superficial at best. And the movie is too long.

Colpaert makes nice use of blue and green hues, and he makes some valid points about the Iraqi war. But the script lacks coherence and ends with a 180-degree flip that lessens the impact of what has gone before.

A lightweight French comedy worth watching only for Cecile de France. The gamine actress - decked out in short reddish hair, black tights and a thigh-high mini - is charming as Jessica.

Wavers uncomfortably between satire and dime-store existentialism on the big screen. It's sort of as if Charlie Kaufman rewrote "The Fountain."

The comedy is without distinction and the conclusion is melodramatic. I must note that ads for the film are misleading because they give no hint of the dark side of The Bubble.

There are some funny moments, plus occasional nudity and sex, but the joke quickly wears off. What might have worked as a half-hour TV show doesn't suit itself to a feature-length film.

There are a few sweet moments as the story reaches its unsurprising conclusion. But, all in all, Flakes isn't going to bowl you over.

Beautiful but boring.

Has little to offer beyond titillation and pretty landscapes.

Here the characters aren't compelling enough to ask viewers to give their brains a workout to determine exactly what's going on.

A plot? Tony Jaa don't need no stinking plot.

But by the time events unfold, viewers will most likely have given up on this melodramatic.

Might have worked as a travelogue, minus the story. In its present form, it is hardly worth the $10 you will be asked to fork over at the box office.

Something high schoolers might yawn through in history class, but they have no choice. You do.

Director Ferzan Ozpetek's film doesn't break any new ground; rather, it recycles every cliché about gays in what is essentially an extended soap opera.

Deadly dull.

It is a boring parade of talking heads and technical gibberish that will do little to advance the Linux cause. Try again, guys.

The movie's only redeeming qualities are its stars.

Pretty but tedious Euro-pap at its most self-indulgent.

Viewers are left wondering just why they should care about them and the rest of the film's one-dimensional characters.

Schmaltzy and contrived.

A movie more interested in shocking than in entertaining.

Will go down in history as the movie that showed a turtle getting an enema. It also features a hot performance by Marguerite Moreau.

Why make a documentary about these marginal historical figures? Wouldn't one about their famous dad, author of "Death in Venice," etc., be more valuable?

A self-indulgent work.

Provides a few minor thrills, but overall is talky and implausible.

Your baby is near death. Instead of dropping everything to save his life, you make sure the video camera keeps rolling.

There are a few scares, but not enough to make up for the murky script.

Fails to grab the imagination as it unfolds in familiar TV-movie fashion.

So beautifully filmed (as if through a gauze curtain), it is especially sad that the script doesn't measure up.

Harper and the film's director, Jeremy Kagan, try valiantly, but they are unable to bring Meir to life or hold viewers' attentions.

The result is a hodgepodge of plots and styles, a fault compounded by stiff acting and, except for a few scenes, wooden direction.

Allah made me funny - not.

The NYU film grad steals liberally from Woody (especially "Annie Hall") - from camera placement to body language to plot twists to the whole Ingmar Bergman thing. That's not necessarily bad, if the project works. This one doesn't - it just annoys.

The film is light on those kitschy musical numbers that make Bollywood movies fun to watch.

Clichéd stories, clichéd characters. All that's missing is Ed Burns.

Adams and the school's students and teachers deserve an A-plus, although the film rates a much lower grade. It unfolds lifelessly, as Binzer parades a contingent of talking heads before the camera in what could pass for an infomercial.

Is nothing sacred? In the schizophrenic war epic The War lords, Jet Li, the hunky action hero, cries -- no, make that sobs -- several times. What will his legion of young male fans think?

It's a worthy idea, but the uninspired scripts, acting and direction never rise above the level of an after-school TV special.

A bland look at professional surfing.

Katie Aselton has achieved the seemingly impossible. She's turned a movie about sex into a boring, talky snooze.

Lilien is an amateur filmmaker, and his movie -- which at times is more about Lilien than Pale Male -- shows it.

Sillen drags out generic talking heads who say generic things about Bernstein, a generic boho. The film might suffice if you're looking for something to watch on cable TV some early morning. But it isn't worth the hassle and expense of going to a theater.

The preachy movie is hardly worth the hassle and money required to see it in a theater. Better to download it or wait for it to pop up on TV.

Love in Space is just what movie fans have been waiting for: a romantic comedy from Communist China.

While the original was an art-house success, this English-language redo, now getting a one-week run after sitting on the shelf for a year and a half, doesn't measure up.

A documentary hardly anybody has been waiting for.

After Fall, Winter would play better minus at least half an hour of flab.

Director Jacob Rosenberg makes heavy use of family photos and talking heads, but the person we want most to hear from, Way himself, is largely missing. Go figure.

Gil Kofman has an interesting and funny story to tell in his documentary Unmade in China. Too bad he spends more time talking about himself than detailing his misadventures in Xiamen, China, population 3.67 million.

Becomes more and more confused, unpleasant and preposterous.

Unlike Cursed, which resorts to blatant but unconvincing gore and violence, "The Wolf Man" (1941) gets its point across through suggestion, makeup and spooky sets.

Dom DeLuise, as a fruitcake director, and John Waters fave Mink Stole, as Robin's Jewish mother, spice things up, but not enough to make Girl Play worthwhile.

Huppert is wonderful, as usual, and she's to be congratulated for taking this daring role. But, alas, even she can't save Ma Mere.

The one highlight is Julia Nickson, who breathes life into the role of Ethan's evil stepmom.

The street action is a grabber, but the story itself isn't.

If the sight of naked, sweaty French hunks gets you going, well, then, Three Dancing Slaves is a must-see.

It's hard to make a dull movie with copious nudity and all kinds of sex (straight, bi and gay), although French filmmakers Olivier Ducastel and Jacques Martineau manage to do so in Cote d'Azur.

Garcon Stupide features the best gay seduction scene ever filmed on a Ferris wheel. Unfortunately, you have to sit through the entire movie to get to it. Whether you want to will depend on your interest in explicit gay sex.

An uninspired gay coming-of-age import from Germany.

The Greeks have a word for Blackmail Boy: boring.

Almereyda's muddled Happy Here and Now should have stayed on the shelf - where it's been gathering dust for several years.

Andy Lau and Siu Fai Mak, the men behind the successful Hong Kong police thriller trio "Infernal Affairs," should be arrested for directing Initial D.

Schwartz throws in so many characters and implausible subplots - none worth mentioning - that Perception sinks under its own weight.

Not even Sandra Oh, as Phoebe's boss, and Elodie Bouchez ("The Dreamlife of Angels"), as Ashade's sister-in-law, can keep Sorry, Haters from becoming a sorry mess.

A cheesy and unpleasant splatterfest.

Now that even Woody Allen has stopped making "Woody Allen movies," you would think that wannabes would move on, too.

The film plays like one long commercial. The music's cool, but you're better off buying the CD.

The story lacks focus. The senses blur as wives and ex-wives come and go, and Harry regularly falls off the wagon, only to reform the next day.

As a narrative, Shem, directed by Caroline Roboh, is a pointless hodgepodge, with a finale that will leave viewers scratching their heads.

Mainstream moviegoers will be put off by the subtitles, and art-house fans will be insulted by the story's shallowness.

Sex can be fun and exciting and wonderful. It also can be deadly boring, as in Psychopathia Sexu alis.

The autobiographical script meanders and the acting never solidifies. Besides, the leads look too old to be in high school - maybe even college.

Tucker's message is sometimes on target, even if his film isn't.

There's potential here, but the script is entirely too, shall we say, Hollywood. There's even a dog-poop joke.

The movie's one-star rating is solely for Mary Elizabeth Winstead, who provides eye candy as Morris' film-student granddaughter, Lisa.

Lou Diamond Phillips is let down by an uninspired supporting cast, including Bruce Weitz as a crippled con artist and Tracy Middendorf as the requisite femme fatale, a clichéd script, and flat direction by Stephen Purvis.

There's plenty of material here for a dark comedy, but director Martin Curland isn't up to the job. His film - like Luke - plods along, unsure of exactly what it's supposed to be.

We keep waiting for one of those outlandish musical treats to bring some life to the clichéd script. Kunder throws in a few breaks, but they're tepid and brief.

Would that somebody had fired Gurwitch before she could have finished Fired!

The characters are too cliched to be funny, and Jensen's script can't stay focused long enough to make an impression. Where is Lars von Trier when we need him?

Proves, if anything, that sappy feel-good movies aren't restricted to Hollywood.

How can it be that a movie as beautiful to look at as Saawariya is so . . . boring?

What they say is superficial. They never really explain why they risk their lives. In the end, Steep plays like a TV infomercial - and who wants to hand over $11 to watch one?

It boggles the mind to think that Elite Squad won the top prize at the prestigious Berlin Film Festival in February.

Let the French stick to love stories and leave stupid comedies to Tinseltown.

There is, of course, a maximum of blood and gore. Sometimes the director's ideas work; often they don't.

Directed by Susan Montford, While She Was Out is a straight-to-DVD movie making a brief stop in theaters.

Marlene Rhein has directed 40 music videos, including ones for Tupac Shakur and Amy Winehouse. Judging by this, her feature debut, she should stick with the music.

Having Damon Wayans in the cast might attract viewers to Harlem Aria, but they're bound to be disappointed by the amateurish drama.

It's depressing to see how far Herzog has fallen.

One big cliche.

Every once in a while the old-fashioned costume drama comes alive, only to sink again into run-of-the-mill special effects and long periods of talkative tedium.

Comes off as nothing more than a TV soap opera, with overwrought acting, simplistic dialogue and a generic plot.

Dirk Shafer's feature doesn't offer much in terms of plot or acting. But it does have oodles of hunky male bodies. The choice is yours.

With so many worthwhile movies out there just waiting for a release, it's a shame that this tired drama is getting a run.

With so many worthy movies being made in Europe, it's a crime that something as mediocre as Erotic Tales gets a release here.

An Amsterdam mess.

The movie, directed by Mick Jackson, leaves no cliché unturned, from the predictable plot to the characters straight out of central casting.

Anybody involved in the underground scene might get a kick out of Maestro -- but others will likely be bored stiff.

This poorly done, digitally animated work, directed by Hiroyuki Kitakubo, might be of interest to die-hard fans of anime. Others should pass it by.

The cast includes rappers Da Brat, Mos Def and MC Lyte. Their fans might get some pleasure from Civil Brand. Everybody else best stay away.

The script is obvious and cliched and the action is more disgusting than frightening.

Has a promising start. But it quickly becomes tiresome and cliché-ridden - not to mention depressing and pointless.

A convoluted, pointless thriller that wastes the considerable talent of Max von Sydow.

Wait for the video, then fast-forward through every scene except the ones featuring Maria Mironova as a cheating wife.

The film's violent finale comes out of nowhere and will leave bewildered viewers wondering if they might have dozed off for a reel or two.

Brainless and pointless.

Never rises above the level of a second-rate TV sit-com.

Skip it, and rent "The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" instead.

Greenwald does nothing with the interviews, basically just posting them, one after the other, with the hope that viewers will do his job for him. The result is one-sided and bone-dry.

Sappy and simplistic.

Approach is too heavy-handed to have much effect. Rod Serling probably could have turned the premise into an enjoyable episode of "The Twilight Zone."

Promoted as "the year's scariest movie," it's anything but.

What's Vincent to do? Will he come out of the closet? Will he lead the swim team to victory at the big match? Will he find happiness with Noemie? Does anybody care?

Silly and pointless film.

Ranks high on the squirm meter. But, unlike in most of her earlier work, there's no emotional payoff.

Sucky vampire flick.

An amateurish, pointless exercise in filmmaking.

Watching Wake is akin to listening to anonymous neighbors argue about matters you know nothing about -- nor care about. You only wish they'd shut up.

Isn't very good. Not only has Ritter made his documentary a one-sided one, but he commits the journalistic sin of using himself as the film's main talking head. In other words, he's interviewing himself.

The game cast tries desperately to be funny, but Day hasn't provided them with the material.

So bland that it fails to make an impression.

The writing, acting and direction are so amateurish that the only thing you'll care about is escaping the theater.

The story is so contrived and the dialogue so stilted that no amount of talent could save Exist.