Positive: 1 out of 1
Mixed: 0 out of 1
Negative: 0 out of 1
Jun 25, 2013There was a point in my life where all I could do was sit down and play Snail Mail. All I could think about was an intergalactic snail named Turbo collecting mail while navigating paths covered in monsters, loops, jumps, and salt. There was a time in my life where Snail Mail drove me to the brink of insanity and back, and I've never been the same.
Don't let this game deceive you. At first, it acts all nice to you. The first few levels are all easy and the game is enjoyable. All you have to do is tilt the device back and forth while shooting. How difficult can that be?
After the first few levels, the game begins to become increasingly difficult. The levels speed up, enemies become more abundant, and salt litters the tracks. Loops become narrow and jumps frequently show up on the roads. You'll sweat profusely as you near the end of every difficult level. Your hands will ache and bleed as you play for longer and longer periods of time. You will cry bitter tears of defeat when you die or get a Game Over.
Even when you think you've had enough, you can never leave. You become addicted, one with the game. Turbo the snail becomes your one and only friend as you continue to play. All your real friends abandon you, and you're alone. Eventually, I began to lose sight of who I was, what my purpose on this Earth is. There was no longer a reviewer named Shprea. There was only a snail now, one with a mission in mind: deliver the mail.
By the time you reach level 90, you become a veteran, reflecting on the good 'ol days of level 14. Those were the days, the easy and simple days, all carefree. Now, you're at level 90. Those days are lost. Now there is only extreme challenge, defeat, and victory. Once you beat the game, all 100 levels, you let out a battle cry so loud that all those around you become paralyzed in fear. You have won. You defeated.
But then you realize there are 10 bonus levels. There's more challenge to come. You march forwards, fighting for victory, for ultimate glory. And once you beat that last level, everything makes sense. You learn the secrets of human nature, of life, of death, of victory and defeat, of good and evil, sweet and sour, light and dark. Everything makes sense, and you arrive at Nirvana.
Snail Mail made me into the man I am today. I am no longer Shprea. Now, I am a god, a man who has seen it all and has lived through the greatest of hells. I am invincible.
I highly recommend this game.… Full Review »