USA Films | Release Date: October 29, 1999
Universal acclaim based on 437 Ratings
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KarthXLRAug 2, 2011
Absolutely awful in every way, shape and form. No likable characters, a scatterbrained story, and just mean-spirited. Avoid at all costs. Please, for your own sake, avoid this movie!
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Potarto72Dec 21, 2014
Now, if you want to see a movie that takes horrific cruelty and wraps it up in quirky comedy wrapping paper from Wal-Mart, grab a copy of Being John Malkovich. But don't watch it. Instead, burn it. Burn them all. Because Malkovich takes theNow, if you want to see a movie that takes horrific cruelty and wraps it up in quirky comedy wrapping paper from Wal-Mart, grab a copy of Being John Malkovich. But don't watch it. Instead, burn it. Burn them all. Because Malkovich takes the torture-wrapped-in-comedy genre to such a far degree that just thinking about it makes me sick. I no longer like seeing John Malkovich, Cameron Diaz, Catherine Keener, or John Cusack on screen in anything. I'm not exaggerating here, just seeing one of them makes me shudder. This movie is such a perversion of film and the human mind that I want my memory erased after watching it.
I want to forget how this movie made me feel. I'm not holding back. Here's everything I haven't successfully repressed:
John Cusack is a creepy and depressed guy who lives with his creepy and depressed wife. Their entire existence and atmosphere in the film is miserable. Everything about it is uneasy. Cusack is a puppeteer, and in the film's opening, he makes two puppets bang while a young girl is watching him perform on the street. The film's best part occurs when the girl's father punches him in the face and destroys his display. Oscar for Best Supporting Actor goes to Suckerpunch Guy. I f**king mean it. Give that guy a career.
So Cusack joins this creepy company, and there's a door leading into John Malkovich's brain, where you can see through his eyes for 15 minutes. After 15 minutes, you magically appear on the turnpike just outside of New York, conveniently a few miles away. Why? Who cares!? The film is quirky! It doesn't need logic, or thematic elements, or quality in general.
Cusack and his creepy and depressing coworker sell 15 minute excursions into Malkovich's head for a while, until they realize that they can control him if they focus hard enough. So they start doing that, and they replace Malkovich's conscience (John Malkovich plays John Malkovich, a flat character who is... creepy and depressed. Great.), and in the end, Malkovich must consciously sit by as this dirty creep controls his mind and perverts his body, destroying his soul. No one is happy. Nothing good happens. Nothing intelligent happens. Malkovich just gets **** on, Cusack locks his wife in a cage. It's creepy and depressing. It's disgustingly cruel, and it insults us by pretending it's all a joke.
"Come on guys, we'll laugh about this someday." said Spike Jonze as devil's horns emerged from his forehead. Hey, you hear that? Sounds like the cries of the damned to me.
If Jonze's 2013 romance film Her hadn't been such a masterpiece, I'd probably hate him. He redeemed himself for this one, so I can let him off with a warning. Every director ever: making films like these is like putting the Boogie Nights disc in What About Bob's box. Stop selling these as comedies. Please, god, stop. This really must be the most unbearable film I've ever watched. Jesus, take the wheel. My cinema hurts.
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ChrisB.Feb 3, 2006
An appaling waste of time and talent. Shallow, unlikeable characters; unpleasant, jumbled cinematography, a shoddy script and no redeeming characteristics whatsoever.
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RusB.Jul 7, 2002
Wake up villagers...the emperor is not wearing any clothes! I rate it a 3 out of loyalty to three stars, Malkovich, Cusak, and Diaz, whose movies rarely let us down.
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QxylusNov 9, 2004
Probably the most boring film I've ever seen!
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DarrylJ.Jul 18, 2005
I hated this movie. It was twisted, perverted, scatterbrained and overall disturbing. This was the worst movie that I can remember.
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DerekB.Oct 22, 2007
This was one of the silliest things i have ever watched! It doesn't make sense at all, i don't really know what to write! I'm dumbfounded by how silly this movie is
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