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50A splashy, silly movie that inexplicably stars Jeremy Irons but will delight 10-year-old boys across the realm. Regrettably, the hordes of pre-adolescent boys it would have delighted most were that age 20 years ago.
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50The special effects work fine for minor acts of magic, but the climactic aerial dragon fight is lame, and most of the performances are at the level of high school plays.
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50Much of the dialogue is the silliest sort of fantasy mush, and a good deal of the picture appears to have been shot while the lighting guys were out to lunch.
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50A mildly entertaining but tepid extravaganza more suited to television than the big screen.
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50Malty brew of heroics and minutiae.
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40Jeremy Irons, giving what is, hands down, the worst performance of his career.
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38Dungeons & Dragons looks like they threw away the game and photographed the box it came in.
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30Gamer geeks, I speak your language! And I warn you: Flee! Or, at the very least, crank down any expectations you harbor -- a few notches below "zero" should do it -- before buying a ticket.
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25The sad truth is, I can say nothing to recommend this film.
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25The audience has already checked out, long before the formulaic finish.
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25Worst of all, Marlon Wayans' performance as a cowardly thief would have seemed in bad taste a half-century ago.
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The plot is as thin and confusing as it sounds.
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20Good intentions, bad writing.
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20Whalin is awful, Birch is saddled with lines that would make a silent film star blanch and Irons devours huge chunks of scenery with the ferocity of one of those dog-fighting dragons.
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10This fantasy crap, fake-o effects and all, betrays princes of dice, masters of graph and wielders of bong.
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10A cheap "Star Wars" rip-off with swords instead of light sabers.
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10Horribly slapdash affair.
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10Take this as a warning: it's not much fun.
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10Stunningly bad sci-fi/fantasy hokum.
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10Maybe I should let a role of the dice determine whether I use a cudgel or a broadsword to put this puppy out of its misery.
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10Stinketh like the breath of a dyspeptic dragon.
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10The plot somehow manages to be both hackneyed and convoluted.
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0Tacky-looking, incoherent, badly acted and hopelessly directed disaster is easily the dullest adventure film of 2000.
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0This dragon, sadly, is DOA.
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0At once laboriously expository and defiantly incomprehensible.
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User score distribution:
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Positive: 7 out of 24
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Mixed: 3 out of 24
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Negative: 14 out of 24
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MarkS.2This was real bad. When snails died and the lead actor went to his knees screaming noo, I was embarrased to be sitting through the performance.
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DavidF.10
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10