Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures | Release Date: November 25, 2009
5.0
USER SCORE
Mixed or average reviews based on 123 Ratings
USER RATING DISTRIBUTION
Positive:
49
Mixed:
21
Negative:
53
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2
ChadSDec 1, 2009
With the start of Vicki's prison term nearing, the environmental activist's two kids need a babysitter while their mom does time in a state penitentary. It's a good thing that mom's one night stand wrote. Of all the With the start of Vicki's prison term nearing, the environmental activist's two kids need a babysitter while their mom does time in a state penitentary. It's a good thing that mom's one night stand wrote. Of all the people in the world, who better than your shotgun husband, a man you divorced after the liquor turned to pee and never saw again in the proceeding seven years, to feed and dress your flesh and blood. Money, notwithstanding, this man was a twenty-four-hour husband, but that's the movies for you. "Old Dogs", aside from being stupid, is also, formally, one of those films where childless professionals discover the joys of parenthood after pursuing successful careers in their respective fields. Robin Williams plays Dan, the dad, and John Travolta plays Charlie, the unwilling uncle-type; they're sports marketers who, in one uncomic comic scene, smear bear poop beneath their eyes by accident, then inexplicably, leave it on, as if both men forgot that animal excrement is gross. As Dan, Williams seemingly returns to those habitual heartwarming roles that moviegoers thought he had sworn off from taking after his career redefining performances in Mark Romanek's "One Hour Photo" and Christopher Nolan's "Insomnia". This fondness for excessive heartrendering(or is that heart-bludgeoning) theatrics(five words: enema bulb as faux-nose) carries on, but only ostensibly so, as in one scene, where Dan, dressed as a king, has tea with his princess-costumed daughter, which on closer inspection, avoids saccharine sweetness Curiously enough, Dan is in a full-bodied puppet suit, and under Charlie's control. The scene plays like a cry for help. After all, somebody is making Williams have this tender moment with a child actor. There's some anger here, dressed up as slapstick comedy, in which Dan maims a hand model's hands, and Seth Green's balls. And as for Travolta: Has it really been almost thirty years since he slapped around Debra Winger in "Urban Cowboy"? Collapse
2 of 2 users found this helpful
3
BrandonBonaseraNov 18, 2011
OLD DOGS is a stupid, unfunny and boring kiddie film that even kids wouldn't like.
2 of 2 users found this helpful20
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0
calebTDec 13, 2009
This movie.......this movie should be renamed ouch my balls. Yes like that show on Idiocracy. Becuase thats all it was. Painful slapstick humor. This movie is bad. I mean it. It is awful. Its not just the fact that it was even worse than This movie.......this movie should be renamed ouch my balls. Yes like that show on Idiocracy. Becuase thats all it was. Painful slapstick humor. This movie is bad. I mean it. It is awful. Its not just the fact that it was even worse than WIld Hogs. Its not just the fact that it has no plot. Its not just the fact it has no character development or even the fact that the jokes are not funny at all. The worst thing about this film is the wasted talent. A movie must be awful if it has Seth Green, Justin Long, Robin WIlliams, John Travolta, and Dax Sheppard, and it still fails to make me crack a smile. Even more idiotic is the fact that they are fixtated on dogs in this movie. They have all these dogs in scenes that there should be no dogs just for the reaction shot. Like when somebody says something odd and the dog looks up and makes a noise. Hey, I have an idea for a drinking game. Take a shot every time a dog has a reaction shot. OOOOHHH even HARDER drinking game. Take a shot for every scene in this movie that sucks...I'm sorry but DIsney, you need to try harder. I saw Up. I saw Bedtime Stories. And I saw Princess and the Frog. I know you guys can make a decent movie if you try. So please, next time, put some effort in it. Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful
1
NavyBeanNov 25, 2009
Who says Robin Williams and John Travolta aren't comic actors? I did laugh in sympathy.
1 of 1 users found this helpful
1
JohnJan 25, 2010
Trust me: This is a bad, bad movie.
1 of 2 users found this helpful
0
AndreaGNov 26, 2009
A total train wreck.
1 of 2 users found this helpful
2
DavidFDec 3, 2009
A little part of me died having watched this film. All these positive user reviews from John G etc - which PR or movie company are you working for guys? Seriously - you are all bogus and your reviews are paid-for bogus rubbish.
0 of 2 users found this helpful
0
JBellJan 3, 2010
A revolting excuse for a "film" which could only be recommended to the intellectually handicapped.
0 of 2 users found this helpful
0
LaurieLDec 14, 2009
The. Worst. Ever.
0 of 2 users found this helpful
1
mrcriticOct 24, 2010
Wow. I've never seen such a disappointing movie ever. Travolta and Williams fail to get any laughs from adults or kids. Bernie Mac, you could have gotten a better farewell. RIP bernie
0 of 3 users found this helpful03
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0
oswaldtherabbitNov 4, 2010
This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Old. Dogs. Uhh. OLD. DOGS. UHHHHHHHHHHH.

Old Dogs. **** in your mouth. Old Dogs. **** in your mouth. UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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0 of 1 users found this helpful01
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1
CarterMar 2, 2010
Yes, the movie did elicit a chuckle or two from me, but I still have to wonder what Williams and Travolta were thinking when they accepted the roles for this insultingly stupid movie.
0 of 0 users found this helpful
0
txrangersfan72Jan 30, 2011
I am beginning to wonder why I can't rate something with ZERO stars. This movie would have definitely be eligible. Quite possibly the longest 88 minutes of my life.
0 of 0 users found this helpful00
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1
thecurberJan 31, 2011
Seth green.check Big giant gorilla-check.kid on the toilet farting check. sounds like a real winner dosen't it. This film might as well came out of a dog, because it sure smells like it
0 of 0 users found this helpful00
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3
KendylKlownfishApr 14, 2011
It's not overwhelmingly horrid -- like most Disney family comedies tend to be -- but it's certainly far from even mildly diverting. Pros: John Travolta and Robin Williams are as charming as they always are. Cons: As charming as Travolta andIt's not overwhelmingly horrid -- like most Disney family comedies tend to be -- but it's certainly far from even mildly diverting. Pros: John Travolta and Robin Williams are as charming as they always are. Cons: As charming as Travolta and Williams are, the acting is as dull as the film is itself; overwhelmingly generic; overly cliched; lacks laughs and heart. Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful00
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0
wordy_actionsAug 20, 2011
If someone likes this movie, they should be considered dangerously stupid and avoided at all costs. If you happen to encounter a fan of this movie you should immediately perform a citizen's arrest on them for the good of public safety. AfterIf someone likes this movie, they should be considered dangerously stupid and avoided at all costs. If you happen to encounter a fan of this movie you should immediately perform a citizen's arrest on them for the good of public safety. After you have successfully handcuffed the brain dead 'movie' 'fan', you should contact the authorities as soon as possible. If the fan begins to speak (surprisingly, some of them can talk) cover your ears. Failing to do so may result in permanent brain damage. If you find yourself having to travel through an area heavily populated by 'fans' of Old Dogs you need to bring the proper equipment. Sound cancelling headphones are a must. Defensive weapons are also useful. Multiple daggers may also be required. If you find yourself surrounded by 'fans' of Old Dog, do not panic! Simply cup your hands around your mouth and yell in several directions. The echoes will confuse them and they will become disoriented. Use this opportunity to cut their hamstrings and escape. Though rare, occasionally they may attempt to pursue you. If this is the case, quickly gather a handful of sticks and rocks and arrange them in a line between you and the 'fans'. Typically they will become so frustrated by this minor obstacle that they will often spontaneously burst into flames. If your skin should come in contact with a 'fan', call poison control. While waiting for the ambulance you should treat the infected area with bleach and gin. If no bleach and/or gin is available, amputate the infected area and pray for god's mercy. If you should accidentally view any portion of the 'movie' Old Dogs the only known antidote is the blood of a Dodo bird. Unfortunately, the Dodo is extinct in our current timeline. Not to worry, as these is a solution. Simply build a time-machine and retrieve a sample. In fact, forget the sample. Just use the time-machine to stop yourself from seeing this movie. Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful00
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2
Ridz43Mar 21, 2011
This truly is a bad movie when compared to the moving pictures that movie makers spend hard time making! Sometimes movies need not to be made because they do not portray a purpose!
0 of 0 users found this helpful00
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3
ZilcellMay 28, 2012
It only had 2 or 3 good laughs. It had potential to be a great comedy but it is plagued with too many problems. Travolta and Williams made the foolish choice to be in this movie.
0 of 0 users found this helpful00
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3
Compi24Nov 28, 2012
So cheap, tired, and stale that even its two likable lead actors can't save it.
0 of 0 users found this helpful00
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1
FreedomFightersNov 22, 2016
You know, I had actually forgotten this movie existed until doing this review. As I'm running through 2009 and thinking "wow, so many great films that I loved as an 11-year old. I'd love to go back to 2009," I came across "Old Dogs" andYou know, I had actually forgotten this movie existed until doing this review. As I'm running through 2009 and thinking "wow, so many great films that I loved as an 11-year old. I'd love to go back to 2009," I came across "Old Dogs" and immediately said "Oh, right...that exists." Trust me when I tell you, "Old Dogs" is awful. Even with stars John Travolta and Robin Williams headlining it, the film is dull, boring, painfully unfunny, predictable, and all-around bad. This is another case where my only possible praise is that the film is 88 minutes, but that's 88 minutes you'll never get back. Oh, and the actors at least TRY. Not that their performances are GOOD, but at least they try to save this stinker of a movie. Trust me, this film is an atrocity, and you WILL NOT want to watch it. Just ignore it and move on. Please. Expand
0 of 0 users found this helpful00
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