Rock of Ages

User Score
6.0

Mixed or average reviews- based on 166 Ratings

User score distribution:
  1. Positive: 78 out of 166
  2. Negative: 37 out of 166

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User Reviews

  1. Nov 8, 2012
    4
    I was thoroughly looking forward to this after seeing ROA live on the Toronto stage. The movie is a major disappointment. Aaron Walpole was hilarious as Lonny on stage and Russell Brand was just plain flat here. Julia Hough was lovely to look at as Sheri but her version of sexy was "Gleeful" and she can't rock. The killer however was the general treatment of the music. 80s hairband musicI was thoroughly looking forward to this after seeing ROA live on the Toronto stage. The movie is a major disappointment. Aaron Walpole was hilarious as Lonny on stage and Russell Brand was just plain flat here. Julia Hough was lovely to look at as Sheri but her version of sexy was "Gleeful" and she can't rock. The killer however was the general treatment of the music. 80s hairband music has to be raw and rocking. What the heck were they thinking by smoothing out all of the edges and autotuning all the voices? This movie production made me 'Stop Believing". Expand
  2. Jul 14, 2012
    8
    Let me start off by saying this is a musical. Don't expect a classic. If it's not your type of thing, this movie won't change that. Now that we got that out of the way I have to say that I actually liked it. It's starts off okay unfortunately. I'm not a big fan of people just singing a song and every random person joins them. I know you're going to tell me that pretty much every musicalLet me start off by saying this is a musical. Don't expect a classic. If it's not your type of thing, this movie won't change that. Now that we got that out of the way I have to say that I actually liked it. It's starts off okay unfortunately. I'm not a big fan of people just singing a song and every random person joins them. I know you're going to tell me that pretty much every musical do that, but no. The good ones have a certain thing that connects the people, what they want to say and the songs. Not randomly start singing just to sing. That said, it gradually gets better and to the point of me smiling when a song started. Tom Cruise is amazing on stage. I really believed he was a rockstar when he sang. His stage presence is amazing. If you're hoping to see the same rock of ages from Broadway to the screen, you are going to be disappointed. The story is different, and there are a few songs that weren't in the broadway musical. For the story, well it doesn't do anything new. You can pretty much tell what's going to happen, two young people with big dreams meet and fall in love and you can guess the rest. But don't let that get in the way if you like musicals. I had a great time watching it in theaters. I give it a 7.5 because I still had a pretty good time. I don't regret watching it. It's not a classic by any means, but it is nonetheless entertaining and worth your time. Expand
  3. Jun 27, 2012
    8
    Rock of Ages. Even though I like all kinds of movies, Musicals aren't always my kind of thing. The only two I can actually think of at the moment that I liked and enjoyed was "The Newsies" and "The Sound of Music." However, I became overly excited to discover that Tom Cruise played a rock star and actually sings in this 80's rock n' roll musical. (Big Tom Cruise fan in case you didn'tRock of Ages. Even though I like all kinds of movies, Musicals aren't always my kind of thing. The only two I can actually think of at the moment that I liked and enjoyed was "The Newsies" and "The Sound of Music." However, I became overly excited to discover that Tom Cruise played a rock star and actually sings in this 80's rock n' roll musical. (Big Tom Cruise fan in case you didn't already know.) The movie looked pretty good anyways - so I was more then down. A highly entertaining, feel good, 80's rock n' roll musical, with a fantastic cast and performances (both acting and singing) make "Rock of Ages" nothin' but a good time. The way I see it - Tom Cruise was a rock star long before this highlight in his career, but hearing him sing like a rock star only makes him more worthy of the title. And yeah, Cruise can sing, and he's damn good at it. All hail Tom Cruise the rock star!!! Expand
  4. Jun 17, 2012
    7
    While "Rock of Ages" is fresh in my mind from the 4:20 pm showing today at the Laemmle Claremont 5 at the Claremont Village (CA), I walked out with mixed feelings on a number of levels. First, let me state that the music was great and on key - true to the original renditions such as Stacee Jaxx (Tom Cruise) hitting the right octaves with
  5. Dec 7, 2012
    4
    Good music, but the movie is very bad.
  6. Dec 12, 2012
    5
    All I can say is that it was alright but not the best movie I have ever seen. My friends dragged me along to see it and all I like was the remakes of brilliant rock songs which I like that is all I liked about Rock of Ages
  7. Jun 15, 2012
    8
    Just came from seeing Rock of Ages with Tom Cruise, Alec Baldwin, Russell Brand and many more. I have not seen the Broadway version, so I can't compare the movie to that, but I gotta say it was a HOOT. The music is rock and roll and largely from the 80s. I think that folks who are/have been into rock & roll and are between 40 and 65 now will get the biggest kick out of it. Not to say thatJust came from seeing Rock of Ages with Tom Cruise, Alec Baldwin, Russell Brand and many more. I have not seen the Broadway version, so I can't compare the movie to that, but I gotta say it was a HOOT. The music is rock and roll and largely from the 80s. I think that folks who are/have been into rock & roll and are between 40 and 65 now will get the biggest kick out of it. Not to say that folks younger and older than that won't, but I think that age range is the target audience.

    It reminds me of a mix of Rocky Horror PIcture Show (naughtiness and ridiculousness) and Footloose (joyfulness from music and dancing). So if you're going to go, don't expect to take it seriously, cuz it is ridiculous & funny.
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  8. Jun 15, 2012
    8
    I wasn't really sure what to expect from Rock Of Ages. Being that I don't like musicals with the exception of Grease. So what do I think of the soundtrack? Was it what I expected? No. It was way better than I expected. Not sure who actually sang and who lip-sync, but all the songs sounded amazing. I caught myself jamming, tapping my foot, and at times rocking my head back and forth.I wasn't really sure what to expect from Rock Of Ages. Being that I don't like musicals with the exception of Grease. So what do I think of the soundtrack? Was it what I expected? No. It was way better than I expected. Not sure who actually sang and who lip-sync, but all the songs sounded amazing. I caught myself jamming, tapping my foot, and at times rocking my head back and forth.
    Now about the storyline. It started kinda shaky in the beginning. The storyline really came together and got more exciting when Stacee Jaxx's character was introduced. From there on, it just took off and it was an exciting ride. I'm not a big fan of 3D movies at all. But to really get the full experience of this movie, you'll really want to see it in 3D. This movie was made for 3D.
    Now the people who stole show in this movie... I was really surprise and blown away how good Tom Cruise was as Stacee Jaxx. I really don't think anyone else could have done a better job as Stacee Jaxx. Malin Akerman also gave an amazing performance. Paul Giamatti was perfect as the music manager. The surprise star of the movie who just impressed me the most has to be Mary J. Blige. I knew the girl can sing. I didn't know she could really act. She was awesome. I really hope to see Mary J. Blige in more movies.
    If you grew up in the 80's, this movie will bring back fond memories of the good old days. Everyone else. Rock and roll doesn't get any better than this. You will not be disappointed at all. I give this movie 4.5 out of 5.
    The soundtrack is definetly worth buying. So go check it out.
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  9. Jun 18, 2012
    2
    If I ever get diagnosed with a life threatening disease, I plan to watch this again because it felt like a lifetime had passed from beginning to end. I was well into this era and scene when it happened. And I do love a good musical. That being said, other than some good moments from Cruise who usually bores me, this movie is a snooze fest. My kids took me for fathers day. I wasIf I ever get diagnosed with a life threatening disease, I plan to watch this again because it felt like a lifetime had passed from beginning to end. I was well into this era and scene when it happened. And I do love a good musical. That being said, other than some good moments from Cruise who usually bores me, this movie is a snooze fest. My kids took me for fathers day. I was looking forward to it. By about half way through I though the entire year of 1987 had taken place and we were all a little bit older. This movie is just flat out awful. A bore. And I know it's supposed to be cheesy. That was the ere and i get that. But this was crap. And my kids hated it too. So you have 2 separate generations of viewers that had 2 LOOOOOOONG hours stolen from them. Save yourself. Expand
  10. Jun 20, 2012
    6
    I would give this movie a 6 only because of the fact that the plot is very slow and runs on thin ice the entire time, but Julianne Hough who is beautiful does a pretty good job, and Tom Cruise who has a good rock voice surprisingly made this enjoyable. I knew all the songs and was singing along to about most of them. I hated it but I loved it. Go see it in theaters.
  11. Jun 15, 2012
    9
    I have to agree completely with SheriReho's review. I also thought this would make an awesome Rocky Horror style repeat viewing movie. Have a couple drinks, loosen up, wear some of your worst 80's apparel, and have a blast singing along. No one will win an Oscar for this, but it AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A GOOD TIME and I think that was the producers' intent. Cruise, Baldwin, Blige, et alI have to agree completely with SheriReho's review. I also thought this would make an awesome Rocky Horror style repeat viewing movie. Have a couple drinks, loosen up, wear some of your worst 80's apparel, and have a blast singing along. No one will win an Oscar for this, but it AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A GOOD TIME and I think that was the producers' intent. Cruise, Baldwin, Blige, et al totally camped it up, and you could almost feel they had a kick making this. My biggest surprise was Russell Brand. Normally I can't stand to watch him in a commercial, but he and Baldwin were the biggest scene stealers together. Yes, I'm in my 40's and grew up in that era, so the familiarity was wonderful. No, I don't think this is an E.T. type film that EVERYONE will love. But how many musicals can you go see that you know almost all the words to all the songs before you see it? I loved that. (look for the cameos of some real-life 80's charttoppers too.) I am so glad I ignored the critics' reviews that said this was terrible. (Ebert gave like 4 stars to Prometheus, my daughter and her boyfriend saw it, and both thought it was boooring!) So if you think you might like this type movie, a musical comedy based on 80's era rock songs, go ahead and see it. If you're more into Kubrick, Coppola, or Tarantino, you may not want to bother. It's all a matter of taste, but to me, most of it was delicious. Expand
  12. Jun 22, 2012
    10
    This movie made me smile, loved all the 80's music took me back to high school! Laughed at some of the cornines which I am sure was intended. This was great, it was supposed to be over dramatized which the 80's were actually that. Loved Tom Cruise as Stacey Jaxx he did a great job of portraying what most of the bands and lead singers must have really been a lot like after all the intenseThis movie made me smile, loved all the 80's music took me back to high school! Laughed at some of the cornines which I am sure was intended. This was great, it was supposed to be over dramatized which the 80's were actually that. Loved Tom Cruise as Stacey Jaxx he did a great job of portraying what most of the bands and lead singers must have really been a lot like after all the intense partying! LOL. One critic actually said he was bored. Idiot he really didn't get the movie then and took it way to serious. Go see it, don't expect Gone With the Wind, have some laughs enjoy the over-dramatized era and characters, take a walk down memory lane if you lived it, if you didn't don't go see it you won't get it! Expand
  13. Jun 15, 2012
    10
    Wow, a new sorprise this year. I remember that when I watch the trailers of Rock of Ages I say: "I wanna watch this movie", but when the critics appear I say: "oh no", after I decide watch the movie, and the ressult: Other great musical, have much incredible songs, the performances are cool, the character amazing. I think that Rock of Ages is the Footloose of this year.
  14. Jun 15, 2012
    8
    First off, this movie can not be fairly rated. Let me explain why. If the critics were a group of people over 55 years old and under 30, they wont even get it. If you are viewers and over 55 and under 30, you wont get it either. You had to live the era. I'm 47 give or take a year. I lived it and give it a strong 8. If it would have been all original bands and singers it would be an 11, offFirst off, this movie can not be fairly rated. Let me explain why. If the critics were a group of people over 55 years old and under 30, they wont even get it. If you are viewers and over 55 and under 30, you wont get it either. You had to live the era. I'm 47 give or take a year. I lived it and give it a strong 8. If it would have been all original bands and singers it would be an 11, off the chart. I will admit you feel like a goof ball almost halfway through the movie for even still being there then, BAMB, it hit key points of my life and what that time period meant to me. There were only about 17 people at the midnite showing. 5 of them were dancing in the isles and happy even when the movie was over. Most all 17 people stayed even through the credits just to listen to the songs as the played out. As everyone left I found my self sitting there with a tear in my eye for my own personal reasons. Yeah it was made cheesy, that is how it was meant to be you bu** hole critics. You will love it or hate it. Depends on your life experiences. I guarantee your jaw will drop a few times and you will just have to see it to believe me. Viewers even clapped at the end of the movie which I haven't heard in awhile. If you are in your teens I even think you will like it. 55 and over dont vote so this movie can at least get a fair review. Your vote shouldn't count. To the rest of us, ROCK ON ! ! IT WILL NEVER DIE FOR US JUST LIKE OUR PARENTS MUSIC THEY LISTENED TO WILL NEVER DIE. Don't prejudge this movie Expand
  15. Jun 15, 2012
    5
    It's hard to figure out what type of film they were trying to make here, but for those looking for a quick 411 on what to expect here's the bottom line: For the 21 and under crowd who enjoy such films as High School Musical and Hannah Montana - this might be right up your alley. For the over 21 crowd- if you're looking for a musical to see with your BFF, or GBF, or both and don't mindIt's hard to figure out what type of film they were trying to make here, but for those looking for a quick 411 on what to expect here's the bottom line: For the 21 and under crowd who enjoy such films as High School Musical and Hannah Montana - this might be right up your alley. For the over 21 crowd- if you're looking for a musical to see with your BFF, or GBF, or both and don't mind musicals geared more towards talented singing and less about story and plot then this will also fit the bill.

    However, if anyone was under the delusion that this would do for the late 80's/early 90's era, what Grease did for the 50's then to say that this was off the mark would be an understatement of legendary proportion. If anyone was hoping that the fantastic camera work, lighting, sound and locations coupled with nostalgic tunes would have the same impact as Moulin Rouge, but in a more modern period then once again- legendary understatement. Part of the problem is with what normally can be considered a Hollywood strength- continuity. The year that this story takes place may represent the beginning of the peak of Hair Band Rock N' Roll, but certainly not the transition out of it, which obviously came years later. The fact that a majority of the songs used for the film weren't even released yet in the time frame that the story is set. Also- it seemed like the story was Frankensteined together using a part of the plot from a modified Coyote Ugly- only the boy is more the focus. And although all of the people in the movie are likable, due to the films' immense ensemble cast it's not possible to relate to, or understand the nature of any character since we only spend a few minutes at a time with each. I should also point out that the story of the young female lead is unsuitable for young girls and gives a very poor impression of how to make difficult choices in life.

    Most upsetting of all is that for those of us that grew up in the era when Rock N' Roll was at its' peak, the portrayal of those we used to idolize, or quasi-worship and possibly even be, is beyond stereotypical and one dimensional and ultimately highly offensive. I for one was hoping for a movie that might bring back some great memories of a time and place when being irresponsible and naive were just a part of being acceptably ignorant and free. Back then, thanks to the lack of technology, private moments and stories easily became inside jokes and were almost always attached to a favorite song that later in life provokes nostalgia.

    I suppose overall I was simply confused. I didn't know what the film was trying to do, or say and it felt as if it was an entertaining movie solely for the sake of being entertaining as a musical. Kind of like a talent show routine, only longer.

    Despite all of this, I do believe that all of the cast did an exceptional job and the talented singing was absolutely the highlight. On par with Duets in terms of quality. I was refreshingly surprised at how great Tom Cruise's voice was- even though I never quite understood what his character's impediment was.

    Having spent several of my personal developmental years on the Sunset Strip I found most of the references and innuendo to be comforting and funny at times. I am not sure if this will be the same for anyone who hasn't grown up, or spent a substantial amount of time in L.A. As far as hilarity goes, I counted a total of 8 occasions when the audience laughed at situations in the film, but they were all very short lived. So this movie is not quite a comedy with a touch of wannabe romance that has shockingly little drama and definitely no action, but it is a musical by definition and therefore I split the difference and gave it an honest 5. If you want to see a real Rock N' Roll film with great music, a compelling story and real soul- go rent Almost Famous. I applaud the effort to bring a lighthearted movie with the intention of cheering up a somewhat depressed culture, but at the end of the day Rock of Ages simply lacks heart.
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  16. Jun 19, 2012
    5
    The biggest surprise: this movie is funny (intentionally). Sure, there's a trite love story, but the supporting cast provides quite a few laughs. What takes up most of the time is a string of anthem rock classics sung by every member of the cast. Some are fun and successful (the best gay love song ever), but many are downright embarrassing. Tom Cruise, as the metal god, is sometimesThe biggest surprise: this movie is funny (intentionally). Sure, there's a trite love story, but the supporting cast provides quite a few laughs. What takes up most of the time is a string of anthem rock classics sung by every member of the cast. Some are fun and successful (the best gay love song ever), but many are downright embarrassing. Tom Cruise, as the metal god, is sometimes swaggering cool, sometimes funny. Adam Shankman's direction/choreography is occasionally dazzling. Overall, this non-stop barrage of rock music videos succeeds on some levels and is simply silly on others. Expand
  17. Jun 18, 2012
    0
    Wake up, people! Rock of Ages ROCKS! I have never seen a musical more entertaining in my entire life! Russell Brand, Alec Baldwin, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Diego Boneta and Julianne Hough all deserve credit for their work! Thank you Lord!
  18. Jun 19, 2012
    0
    This was by far the worst movie I have ever seen. I did not find the extremely blatant sex scenes (way past the point of suggestive) every 5-10 minutes, nor the excessive drinking, at all cool or entertaining.The whole group I went with was disgusted. Knowing that 13 year olds could see this movie is absolutely horrific...it warrants at least an R rating. The beyond low quality of the filmThis was by far the worst movie I have ever seen. I did not find the extremely blatant sex scenes (way past the point of suggestive) every 5-10 minutes, nor the excessive drinking, at all cool or entertaining.The whole group I went with was disgusted. Knowing that 13 year olds could see this movie is absolutely horrific...it warrants at least an R rating. The beyond low quality of the film leaves me quite disappointed in all of the big name actors & actresses involved. If you are expecting or hoping for a love story entertwined with the rock & roll artists of the 80s, know that this movie offers little more than scantily clad men & women, lack of clever lines, and a complete waste of time. Rock of Ages had lots of potential, but failed in all aspects. So glad there is a rating option of 0, it deserves nothing more. So seedy. Expand
  19. Jun 23, 2012
    9
    I love musicals, stage or movies. I
  20. Jun 15, 2012
    1
    This movie is a friggin' mess... really bad direction and awful choices throughout. The only performance that comes out good is Mary J the rest range from dull (Hough) to bad (Brand) to downright embarrassing (Cruise). I like Tom Cruise, and while I can respect his commitment here to the work he was clearly being ill served by the director. This is a very BAD movie. On top of the badThis movie is a friggin' mess... really bad direction and awful choices throughout. The only performance that comes out good is Mary J the rest range from dull (Hough) to bad (Brand) to downright embarrassing (Cruise). I like Tom Cruise, and while I can respect his commitment here to the work he was clearly being ill served by the director. This is a very BAD movie. On top of the bad direction and "High School Musical" storyline you have some of the best rock anthems ever ruined by dreadful Pop arrangements - it's like "Camp Rock" meets Aerosmith. Stay home and listen the to originals cause there is nothing original in this entire film. BIG disappointment here, I was really looking forward to this. Expand
  21. Dec 6, 2012
    0
    the worst film to come out this year, and possibly the past 10 years. Really long, and extremely boring. wanted to kill myself. someone should be sacrificed to make up for how incredibly horrible this pile **** is. Run as far away from this film as you possibly can, and if you see a dvd please light it on fire, and then take a dump on it.
  22. Jun 18, 2012
    4
    So this certainly wasn't a perfect film. Do not go in with high expectations unless you are specifically looking for a cheesy love story musical with bad acting and lackluster directing. Their were so many flaws with this film, acting being a big one, but it was just filled with awkward and cheesy moments. Some of the singing was just uncalled for, some of the actors just burst into songSo this certainly wasn't a perfect film. Do not go in with high expectations unless you are specifically looking for a cheesy love story musical with bad acting and lackluster directing. Their were so many flaws with this film, acting being a big one, but it was just filled with awkward and cheesy moments. Some of the singing was just uncalled for, some of the actors just burst into song at random awkward moments. The positives of the film? Tom Cruise was awesome, great soundtrack, and some decent comedy but thats about it. I was very disappointed with this movie considering i went in expecting a hilarious musical with a great cast but it didn't work out so well. I would not recomend this film to anyone. 3.5/10 Expand
  23. Jun 15, 2012
    3
    Tom Cruise tries valiantly, bringing all his
  24. Jun 18, 2012
    6
    Sadly This Movie Is Less Than Perfect The Covers Are Ok This Will Be The Most Overated Movie Of The Year! I Am This Close To Giving This Movie A 5...'
  25. Jun 17, 2012
    3
    I give Rock of Ages a 3 because Tom Cruise was only in it about 30%. His portrayal of Stacy Jaxx, an aging Rock God, was the only entertainment to be had. As for the rest of the cast, they could have been replaced with more baboons like Hey Man, Cruise's side-kick who had better comic timing then them all. Our main characters, two glee high school drop outs, give as many dispassionateI give Rock of Ages a 3 because Tom Cruise was only in it about 30%. His portrayal of Stacy Jaxx, an aging Rock God, was the only entertainment to be had. As for the rest of the cast, they could have been replaced with more baboons like Hey Man, Cruise's side-kick who had better comic timing then them all. Our main characters, two glee high school drop outs, give as many dispassionate rendition of hacked up hair-band songs as the script-writers can smash into their cliched scenes. They are shiny and pretty while spouting line after line of drivel trying desperately for us to like them, but in the end they are filler waiting for the next believable scene with Cruise. On the other hand, Brand and Baldwin have less then no charisma and bounce sad witless banter off one another like bouncing a ball off a wall. Skip this until Blu-Ray and then punch the forward button until Tom appears. Expand
  26. Jun 19, 2012
    0
    I don't love 80s music. I don't love Tom Cruise. I went to see this with low expectations, and was really, really surprised. Tom Cruise is the soul of the movie, and he's awesome. The movie is gritty, and the actors all play it real -- not campy. There's three interesting love stories, which were surprisingly (somewhat) grounded in reality. I think this one was too easy for ciritcsI don't love 80s music. I don't love Tom Cruise. I went to see this with low expectations, and was really, really surprised. Tom Cruise is the soul of the movie, and he's awesome. The movie is gritty, and the actors all play it real -- not campy. There's three interesting love stories, which were surprisingly (somewhat) grounded in reality. I think this one was too easy for ciritcs to bash. It deserved far better reviews. I hope it's a sleeper hit, with some legs. It deserves it! Expand
  27. Jul 13, 2012
    4
    This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. When it comes to explaining rock and roll, only Pete Townshend, according to Jeff Bebe, lead singer of the fictional band Stillwater, can articulate its essence with any intellectual rigor. He believes in all earnestness that the poetry of sex and drugs will save the world. So did the filmmaker, once upon a time, as a cub reporter for Rolling Stone in his 2000 bildungsroman Almost Famous. By the 1980s, the seasoned journalist probably knew that mom was right: rock and roll was indeed the poetry of sex and drugs, but at least those artists stood for something; they wanted to end the war, unlike, for instance, Def Leppard, who probably had no aspirations of, for starters, ending the cold war. Ultimately, the music of the sixties was the poetry of social consciousness. Stacee Jaxx, however, we can reasonably conclude, has no thoughts on the Falkland Islands crisis, the closest thing to Vietnam, concurrent to his epoch in time. Rock of Ages is Lester Bangs' worst nightmare. This jukebox musical plays like a paean to The Industry of Cool, the label Bangs affixed to a music biz he saw that was, to his chagrin, being commodified. Still, despite whatever reservations one may have about the artistic bankruptcy of a banal hair metal band such as Arsenal, who in Rock of Ages, comes under attack by the mayor's wife, you still had to, as the Beastie Boys so eloquently put it, "fight for [their] right to party." Jaxx has the right to pour sugar on whomever he pleases. Patricia Whitmore, unmistakably, is modeled after Tipper Gore, who in 1984 formed the P.M.R.C., the organization responsible for labeling records with potentially offensive lyrics, after the almost First Lady caught her daughter singing along to a Purple Rain album track, the incendiary "Darling Nikki". Aaaah, Prince. When it came to explaining rock and roll during the MTV age, nobody defended it better than Jello Biafra, who on an early episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show, faced Gore down, and charged the religious right-funded organization with "play[ing] on the fear of parents too chicken to talk to their own kids." Being, supposedly, a liberal democrat, Gore's conservative agenda seemed at odds with the party's ideals, and her own roots. Coming of age in the late-sixties, it would seem inconceivable that Tipper had never experimented with drugs, or put the needle on the groove of The White Album. There had to have been a skeleton, similar to the osterological frippery in Rock of Ages, when the truth comes out about Patricia, who turns out to be a former groupie, hidden in plain sight within the gatefold sleeve of Arsenal's debut album, posing alongside Stacey, practically naked. Patricia, however, differs slightly from Gore, in that she may not necessarily be a Christian. A sort of veiled commentary, at the outset, is made on the Bourbon Room marquee, where it publicizes Bad Religion as the club's headlining act for the night. On a subtextual level, what foretell could that bad religion be? If Patricia's rendition of Pat Benatar's "Hit Me With Your Best Shot", in a church, no less, provides any indication, the bad religion must be Christianity. The couplet: "You're a real tough cookie with a long history/Of breaking little hearts like the one in me," on the surface, shows the moral crusader addressing her long ago fling with Jaxx, but the lyrics can also easily be construed as a rebuke against God. Even more blasphemous than singing a secular song in a house of worship, is the application of the sadomasochistic theme inherent in the Benatar "classic" to Jesus' crucifixion at Golgotha. She's a Scientologist, just like the man who plays the archetypal headbanger. During Foreigner's Christian-sounding "I Want to Know What Love Is", Cruise sings to Malin Akerman's ass, then vagina, as they pantomime sex in a dressing room. The hyper-carnality of Stacy Jaxx, more than overcompensates for the Abba-fying of REO Speedwagon, when Dennis and Lonny out themselves, thereby appeasing Cruise's church, known for its promotion of reparative therapy. Christopher Hitchens was right. Religion does poison everything. Wasn't Rock of Ages supposed to celebrate rock and roll as a religion in its own right, a salve for the broken soul, like when Sherrie tells Jaxx, "When my hamster died, your music really helped me through?" Lester Bangs must be rolling in his grave. As a retort to the proselytizing activists cries of "We're Not Going To Take It", the film uses Starship's "We Built This City"(a band, and song, reviled by many) as an unlikely anthem that embodies the bacchanal genre's so-called spirit. Rock of Ages gets its history wrong. Boy bands didn't kill hair metal bands like Arsenal, and their real life contemporaries. Nirvana did. While Jaxx belts out "Don't Stop Believin'" to a sold-out crowd, in the real timeline, Kurt Cobain was checking out Green River at some tiny Seattle club. Expand
  28. Oct 11, 2012
    10
    This movie is awesome. Rock gods-check. CBGB's fail parody-check. Boy bands trashed and called out-check. Hot chick power groupies-check. A bus of Night Ranger fans singing Sister Christian-check. Genre discipline, killer sound, respect to LA' s last great music scene, and self-deprecating humor balled up with precision and aimed at the few people alive that actually get it-CHECK

    Alec
    This movie is awesome. Rock gods-check. CBGB's fail parody-check. Boy bands trashed and called out-check. Hot chick power groupies-check. A bus of Night Ranger fans singing Sister Christian-check. Genre discipline, killer sound, respect to LA' s last great music scene, and self-deprecating humor balled up with precision and aimed at the few people alive that actually get it-CHECK

    Alec Baldwin and Russell Brand deserve best supporting actors in a musical comedy about glam rock. Best parody about cliche rockers from the 80's I never saw! Hilarious and proof positive most critics are sheltered over opinionated failures from alternate realities where they matter. And to those of them who are frustrated with their children and loved ones. These trials and tribulations are mostly YOUR fault. PWN IT. Haha you know who you are.
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  29. Jun 22, 2013
    4
    If it wasn't for the admittedly solid performance of Tom Cruise as rock star god Stacee Jaxx, I would have argued for the title to be 'Rock Bottom'...
  30. Jun 9, 2015
    9
    Big time fun, saucy, loud, sexy, with creative twists on the music, dancing, and high camp. From the beginning we are brought right in to the movie and stay there for the duration. I am totally surprised so many critics panned it. I guess they just don't like musicals, and fun movies. I stayed away because of the reviews, then saw it by accident when I found the dvd in a box of stuff.Big time fun, saucy, loud, sexy, with creative twists on the music, dancing, and high camp. From the beginning we are brought right in to the movie and stay there for the duration. I am totally surprised so many critics panned it. I guess they just don't like musicals, and fun movies. I stayed away because of the reviews, then saw it by accident when I found the dvd in a box of stuff. Wow, what fun. Expand
Metascore
47

Mixed or average reviews - based on 42 Critics

Critic score distribution:
  1. Positive: 13 out of 42
  2. Negative: 12 out of 42
  1. The New Yorker
    Reviewed by: Anthony Lane
    Jun 22, 2012
    50
    Why, as a patron of Rock of Ages, do I wish I had taken the precaution of entering the theater drunk? [25 June 2012, p.84]
  2. 30
    Rock of Ages withholds nothing and makes miracles seem cheap.
  3. Reviewed by: Mike Scott
    Jun 15, 2012
    40
    Unfortunately, like the Poison song says -- and, in many ways, like the decade itself -- it ain't nothin' but a good time.