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7.0

Generally favorable reviews- based on 690 Ratings

User score distribution:
  1. Negative: 63 out of 690
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  1. Jan 21, 2013
    4
    Ted is an homage to old, tired jokes and an attempt to shock its audience into liking the movie. Just like Seth McFarlane's completely unoriginal Family Guy, Ted dares its critics to lambast the movie and when they do, they are accused of being "unhip" or "too sensitive." I saw this movie in the summer and enjoyed the first ten minutes of the movie, when it maintained some sense ofTed is an homage to old, tired jokes and an attempt to shock its audience into liking the movie. Just like Seth McFarlane's completely unoriginal Family Guy, Ted dares its critics to lambast the movie and when they do, they are accused of being "unhip" or "too sensitive." I saw this movie in the summer and enjoyed the first ten minutes of the movie, when it maintained some sense of originality. Then it devolved into an hour and a half Family Guy or American Dad episode. Each joke less memorable than the one before it. Throughout the movie I couldn't help but feel sorry for Mila Kunis. (Maybe McFarlane has something on her and blackmailed her into starring?) And Mark Wahlberg played a completely unlikable loser. You don't want him to get the girl. Teenagers and 10-year-old boys will enjoy this movie because they enjoy anything that is crass. It makes them feel older and more powerful. Maybe that's what McFarlane's motivation behind his work is? Expand
  2. Jan 11, 2013
    4
    Ted seemed to be a good movie, although the idea is very interesting and original, because nobody could possibly think in another use for a teddy bear than a toy for a little child. The director, Seth MacFarlane, obviously used his experience for creating this story in which a kid with no friends grows up with ted, entering both to a world of parties, sex and drugs. The problem is that theTed seemed to be a good movie, although the idea is very interesting and original, because nobody could possibly think in another use for a teddy bear than a toy for a little child. The director, Seth MacFarlane, obviously used his experience for creating this story in which a kid with no friends grows up with ted, entering both to a world of parties, sex and drugs. The problem is that the protagonist is now an adult with a girlfriend (asking for marriage) and a job, but he still has ted, with the exception that now it is promiscuous and a very bad influence. The film consists in funny situations about this couple and how it breaks with the adult world. The problem with this picture is that the jokes and situations are very weakly constructed and with the simplicity of a child. At no time this movie made me laugh, even more, I got bored. The story is poor and predictable, the performances are disgusting and the direction is awful, however how you cannot expect a complex humor from the guy who created Family Guy. Is shallow, is repetitive, is Ted-ious. Expand
  3. May 6, 2013
    5
    So, was it worth my while investing 106 minutes of my life on this one? I have to say, on balance; not really. Yes there are some wonderfully comic moments and smart one-liners in there but I did find it drifted far too much from the sublime to the ridiculous. Also, one minute Ted is ‘Brian’ for Family Guy and the next he turns into ‘Peter Griffin’ from the same show (despite his denials).So, was it worth my while investing 106 minutes of my life on this one? I have to say, on balance; not really. Yes there are some wonderfully comic moments and smart one-liners in there but I did find it drifted far too much from the sublime to the ridiculous. Also, one minute Ted is ‘Brian’ for Family Guy and the next he turns into ‘Peter Griffin’ from the same show (despite his denials). I thought both Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis did a good job; both of their characters were quite believable. Ultimately though I did find it lacked the one thing it so desperately needed; heart. Still, I’m sure the many devotees of ‘Family Guy’ will love this one but for me, sadly, it’s a bit of a dud.

    SteelMonster’s verdict: NOT RECOMMENDED (…unless you’re a really big fan of Family Guy, in which case why haven’t you seen it yet!)

    My score: 5.3/10
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  4. Jan 25, 2013
    4
    The only thing 'shocking' about this movie is how lazy the writing is. Some good moments here, including a really funny bit part played by Joel McHale. Mila Kunis and Mark Wahlberg are good but they cannot carry a poor movie with a boring plot and weak jokes. The humour was base, unoriginal and just lame. If you're into racist stereotypes and fart jokes, this movie is for you.
  5. Feb 13, 2013
    6
    If you are a fan of Family or Judd Apatow films you will be entertained by this one. However, if you are looking for comedy gold, you should probably look elsewhere. Best enjoyed with a group of guys at least 3-4 drinks in when you turn it on.
  6. Feb 16, 2013
    4
    Ted is nothing more than a juvenile film with crude and mostly unfunny sex jokes. The movie is over the top punctuated by a few bright spots here and there. It seemed like Seth MacFarlane wrote down any stupid joke that came to mind and threw it all together.
  7. Sep 12, 2012
    4
    I'm a fan in general of the Family Guy series so I had high hopes for this, but it just never seemed to engage me. The jokes arent funny enough and the plot about the obsessed fan isnt really needed and really drags the last third of the family. There are some high spots, including an excellent fight scene and a pretty funny cameo but I found myself bored and not really enjoying the filmI'm a fan in general of the Family Guy series so I had high hopes for this, but it just never seemed to engage me. The jokes arent funny enough and the plot about the obsessed fan isnt really needed and really drags the last third of the family. There are some high spots, including an excellent fight scene and a pretty funny cameo but I found myself bored and not really enjoying the film at the halfway point. Its not crude enough to be a great shock comedy and its too risque to be an enjoyable coming of age comedy and as such falls somewhere uncomfortable between. Expand
  8. Jul 15, 2012
    4
    This movie started out well and was funny initially. It, however , dropped off 3/4 of the way through. Had to wade through the last 20 minutes.Mark Walberg did a fine job of being a bachelor that refuses to grow up with Mila Kunis being his faithful GF trying to make him face a reality of life. Had high hopes for it from the trailers but left disappointed in the result.
  9. dz9
    Jul 17, 2012
    5
    All I heard from this movie was "If you love Family Guy you'll love this," Family Guy being one of my favorite shows, I thought I would have a riot with Ted... but I was deeply disappointed. The main problem with Ted is that it recycles a lot of its own jokes and it relies way too heavily on toilet humor. Seeing hooker excrement just isnt that funny. The jokes aren't all bad though,All I heard from this movie was "If you love Family Guy you'll love this," Family Guy being one of my favorite shows, I thought I would have a riot with Ted... but I was deeply disappointed. The main problem with Ted is that it recycles a lot of its own jokes and it relies way too heavily on toilet humor. Seeing hooker excrement just isnt that funny. The jokes aren't all bad though, there are definitely a few instances of Seth McFarlane's comedic genius with his pop culture references and parodies, but these were too few and too far apart. Another problem of the movie is its premise of a talking teddy bear.. I was "on board" with it at first, but the finale of the movie reversed the mythos and just made it seem silly and not well-thought out at all. But to the movies strengths; Mila Kunis and Mark Wahlberg were great together and a lot of the cameos did great. In the End: This feels like every other Seth McFarlane project that isn't Family Guy. It's forgettable and stupid with barely any laughs and you wish you were just watching Family Guy instead. Expand
  10. Jul 17, 2012
    4
    This movie is just an excuse for seth mcfarlane to get an uncensored version of family guy. He brought nothing new to the comedy scene and didn't even make an attempt to change his voice acting from the mainstream family guy stuff, that said this could have been a great movie... if seth mcfarlane hadn't been the voice actor for one of the main characters and if he had tried to bringThis movie is just an excuse for seth mcfarlane to get an uncensored version of family guy. He brought nothing new to the comedy scene and didn't even make an attempt to change his voice acting from the mainstream family guy stuff, that said this could have been a great movie... if seth mcfarlane hadn't been the voice actor for one of the main characters and if he had tried to bring something new to the table instead of just reusing his same old worn out brand of humor Expand
  11. Jul 13, 2012
    5
    The first half is hilarious, but the movie quickly tailspins into a cliche Bromance flick in the second half, devoid of any real humor or intrigue. The difference between the two halves magnifies the latter's shortcomings even more. It's a shame, too, as the idea of a magical toy coming to life but never going away had so much more potential this. McFarlane's racist for the sake of beingThe first half is hilarious, but the movie quickly tailspins into a cliche Bromance flick in the second half, devoid of any real humor or intrigue. The difference between the two halves magnifies the latter's shortcomings even more. It's a shame, too, as the idea of a magical toy coming to life but never going away had so much more potential this. McFarlane's racist for the sake of being racist jokes ("look how edgy I am making jokes about Asians butchering chickens and owning gongs!") are simply stupid and not at all funny, and the fact that you are never for a moment unsure of what's happening next ruins the film's appeal.

    Worth a rental, not worth a $10 theatre ticket.
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  12. Jul 13, 2012
    5
    This movie is like a family guy movie. The jokes are mostly 80's references or about pop culture,and seth even throws in a few jokes about Jews, Muslims,and Mexicans. The best part about this movie is Mila and Mark since they are the best actors in the movie. A few parts in the movie were funny,but a lot of the jokes were pretty dry and it something that is poorly written. So if you likeThis movie is like a family guy movie. The jokes are mostly 80's references or about pop culture,and seth even throws in a few jokes about Jews, Muslims,and Mexicans. The best part about this movie is Mila and Mark since they are the best actors in the movie. A few parts in the movie were funny,but a lot of the jokes were pretty dry and it something that is poorly written. So if you like the way family guy has been going then you'll like this movie. If you are expecting a funny movie that has good jokes them save your money. Expand
  13. Jul 3, 2012
    6
    An average comedy with worn out jokes. If you are a fan of family guy and hoping to enjoy new jokes and an interesting plot don't waste your time. With the price of tickets and the other movies in theaters right now I honestly can't recommend seeing this. You have heard the jokes before and the fact that Ted is a Teddy bear wears off quickly. Ryan Reynolds gave a couple of laughs but thatAn average comedy with worn out jokes. If you are a fan of family guy and hoping to enjoy new jokes and an interesting plot don't waste your time. With the price of tickets and the other movies in theaters right now I honestly can't recommend seeing this. You have heard the jokes before and the fact that Ted is a Teddy bear wears off quickly. Ryan Reynolds gave a couple of laughs but that was about the only thing that sent the theater into an uproar. I was expecting better. It wasn't a terrible movie. It was entertaining but I would wait to torrent/rent/Netflix this movie. Expand
  14. Jun 30, 2012
    6
    While Ted, the self-titled protagonist, may look like the adorably soft and cuddly, ursine-childhood-friend, such conventions are bound to be tested by "Family Guy" creator and first time director Seth MacFarlane, whose multifaceted voice work merely drives his twisted, at times abominably offensive material. Don't ask how the controversially animated show has run for some 13 years, but itWhile Ted, the self-titled protagonist, may look like the adorably soft and cuddly, ursine-childhood-friend, such conventions are bound to be tested by "Family Guy" creator and first time director Seth MacFarlane, whose multifaceted voice work merely drives his twisted, at times abominably offensive material. Don't ask how the controversially animated show has run for some 13 years, but it might have to do with saying what others dare not; rest assured, audiences can expect the same bold-faced audacity in his directorial debut, an intriguing blend of live action and CG technology, "Ted." This "romance versus bromance" amalgam, is centrally premised around the wish one lonely boy makes one Christmas evening in hopes of transmuting his furry teddy bear into real-life companion; sound familiar? Pinocchio, perhaps? So, as anticipated, the following morning sees once-friendless John Bennett, granted with the wish of his dreams, and the start of what will become a life of Peter-Pan syndrome; only we're talking about something more potent than pixie dust. Hence, the first scene of real-time, where now-35-year-old John (Wahlberg) is shown taking a bong hit with his peer-pressurer teddy bear, now wearing a hirsute coat laden with subtle stains and tears, and complaining to John about how he needs to talk to his "weed-guy" about the activeness of his current supply of grass. It's all so funny at first, seeing a stoner in the guise of what has long been considered the staple of puerile comfort and security. But, MacFarlane lives to obliterate long-standing conceptions, especially mores. Aside from some one-liners that don't quite stick, seemingly procrastinate editing (some scenes feel as if they were indecisively cut), and a slightly unbalanced script, the high-concept comedy is fitting, serving its purpose--riotous Friday night laugh-out-louds--and satisfying audiences. Only, after a while, and some brain-dead lapses in logic (how can a soft, fuzzy teddy bear, stuffed with weightless filler, subdue a grown man, Wahlberg, punching, bashing, and spanking him, while being unable later, to defend himself against an obese pre-adolescent boy?) Ted,no longer possesses the same shocking affectation he laid onto audiences in the film's first hour. It is as if Ted is no longer a teddy bear, thanks to MacFarlane's resonant voice work, and the plot's direction follows too much the formula paved from movies like "Knocked Up," that star a man wanting to remain a nonconstructive element in society, resorting back, time and time again to smoking pot, besotting oneself, and acting like a buffoon amidst life-changing circumstances. Moreover, until the audience sees Ted do something they haven't seen before--the opening bong-couch-scene had already set the bar so high--it might as well be Seth Rogen himself on that couch; the same mystical feeling of watching a fluffy childhood toy become high and talking with a potty-mouth only lasts so long. So, when John's commitment-seeking girlfriend, Lori, (Mila Kunis) is irritated by Ted's incessant urging of his "Thunder-Buddy" John to join him in his life of profanity, she confronts John, presenting him, indirectly, with the ultimatum of "bear or girl." This too, see "I Love You, Man," feels borrowed, and sets up John's "just give me one last chance, Lori" where he, following the design, will find a way to break his promise, and where Lori's egotistically sleazy, and forward boss (Joel McHale) chimes in. And, after the relationship with Lori is halted, Ted is surely going to wind up in trouble, too, right? You guessed it, enter Giovanni Ribisi. But, in a macro sense, "Ted," is undoubtedly hilarious in parts, and with the combination of MacFarlane's expressiveness of voice and the CG-animated, Ted is a character one can only root for, regardless of how ribald he really is. The soundtrack is charmingly, as well as deliberately cliché, but it successfully bolsters MacFarlane's self-mockery and recurring hilarity with the far-from-kiddy-Ted. Moreover, Wahlberg (feeling comfortable in his Boston hood) and Kunis (underused as usual) do a fair job at delineating the on-the-edge couple (albeit the real feat is in acting with a voided-CG-animated Ted). And, Patrick Warburton's (Guy) impassive, basso-profundo-gruff-sounding-self is aptly humorous. As for the peculiar love triangle between Ted, John, and their hero Sam Jones, the vaguely remembered 'Gordon' star won't pacify most of its intended audience, and feels patched together. Likewise, the film's third act, which clumsily throws in some peril to regain some faltering sympathies, looks and feels forced. Ultimately, "Ted" is unduly and deliberately offensive, stuffed with taboo and sacrilege, a tinge of sentimental relish, clumps of aimless fluff, loose strings, and an irrelevance sewn with a real, bearing heart. Expand
  15. Jun 29, 2012
    4
    Ted is a funny movie, but can fall flat at times. Wahlberg and Kunis are likeable, but Ted himself is beautifully rendered, and is freaking hilarious. It can fall into a lot of comedy cliches, but is a very funny, original project that lets you care. It drags on at times, but overall a solid summer comedy.
  16. Jul 3, 2012
    6
    One expects a certain type of humor from Seth MacFarlane, and he does deliver... just not enough. If you expect to be laughing the entire time through this movie, you will be disappointed. Its essentially a buddy movie/love story you've seen 1000 times before. Ted himself is rather superfluous, you could replace his character with a person change a few lines of the movie and youOne expects a certain type of humor from Seth MacFarlane, and he does deliver... just not enough. If you expect to be laughing the entire time through this movie, you will be disappointed. Its essentially a buddy movie/love story you've seen 1000 times before. Ted himself is rather superfluous, you could replace his character with a person change a few lines of the movie and you wouldn't know it was originally written for a teddy bear. Expand
  17. Jul 4, 2012
    6
    While it was funny to a point, I could have just watched a few episodes of Family Guy and got the same exact material. It was built up way too much and like a lot of movies, the previews showed just about all the funny parts. I would still recommend it though for anyone that enjoys McFarlene's TV shows
  18. Jul 8, 2012
    6
    The movie is pretty good. It has the humor of later "Family Guy" episodes mainly filled with one-liners and using drugs and sex to make jokes (which honestly isn't that funny). I think examples of fantastic comedy's are "Anchorman", "The Other Guys", and TV shows like "Seinfeld" and "The Office". Those comedy's all use humorous situations and other comedic tools rather than simpleThe movie is pretty good. It has the humor of later "Family Guy" episodes mainly filled with one-liners and using drugs and sex to make jokes (which honestly isn't that funny). I think examples of fantastic comedy's are "Anchorman", "The Other Guys", and TV shows like "Seinfeld" and "The Office". Those comedy's all use humorous situations and other comedic tools rather than simple one-liners like Ted. However, the movie is still worth seeing because the story is interesting and I did laugh several times, even though only briefly. I do think they focused a little too much on the love-story aspect with Kunis (who wasn't funny) which ended up taking away from the comedic aspect. Expand
  19. Jul 8, 2012
    5
    I've been a fan of the Family Guy for a while now. Not like I rush to the TV to watch every episode. But when I do catch it usually makes me laugh. The same effect applies to Seth MacFarlane's first directorial effort. The laughs are there...when you get to them. On occasion but not on a consistent basis.
    The film was entertaining and I did have a few good laughs. Unfortunately most of
    I've been a fan of the Family Guy for a while now. Not like I rush to the TV to watch every episode. But when I do catch it usually makes me laugh. The same effect applies to Seth MacFarlane's first directorial effort. The laughs are there...when you get to them. On occasion but not on a consistent basis.
    The film was entertaining and I did have a few good laughs. Unfortunately most of them were already in the trailer, so there wasn't much surprise. The plot seemed to drag a bit and it was beyond predictable. When the movie was over, half the theater stretched their arms and stood up with pause. So, obviously, I wasn't the only one that felt the pace left something to be desired.
    The digital teddy bear was incredibly well executed, and all the actors performed their parts perfectly. But since we are in the year 2012 and we have all seen our fare share of believable digital characters, a movie needs more than a stuffed animal as a gimmick.
    My advice, if you got nothing better to do, are close to a movie theater, and you are not looking to fall off your chair laughing, then go see this one. It'll suffice. But if you wanna cry your heart out, there are far better choices in any online film library. Either way, this movie won't disappoint you.
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  20. Jul 2, 2012
    4
    In my honest opinion, I had expected more out of Seth. It just feels like he does more effort on family guy, than what he did on Ted. Would I pay again to see the movie? More than likely not. Would I get it on DVD? Yes, but I would only watch it if other friends have not seen it and we could all "try" to laugh together.
  21. Aug 10, 2012
    6
    Downright hilarious and offensive, with surprising heart, we've come to suspect nothing less from Seth McFarlane. However, the film is heavy on exposition and low on plot, leading to an unnecessary dragging feeling in spots.
  22. Jul 2, 2012
    4
    Has a few funny sections, but overall lazy humor that depends on jokes about bodily functions and things a 12 year old boy might find funny. If you like that type of thing than check in out. Clever idea, and had a lot of potential, but ultimately was just a raunchier version of Family Guy, only not as good.
  23. Jul 2, 2012
    5
    I was anticipating a roller-coaster of laugh out loud and cringe worthy in steady intervals. Instead Ted really just glides at average speeds. Nothing was absurd or unbearable but nothing was all that funny either. The trailers ruined a good amount of the better material.
  24. Jul 1, 2012
    6
    Great concept and visuals with the bear, itself. Mark Wahlberg was excellent. The problem with the film is Seth MacFarlen, himself. He doesn't know when to pull back! The flatulence jokes and I'm gay/not gay references are overdone and the segment about the "droppings" on the floor goes beyond vulgar.
    Those sections might appeal to those 12 and under but MacFarlen's talents are
    Great concept and visuals with the bear, itself. Mark Wahlberg was excellent. The problem with the film is Seth MacFarlen, himself. He doesn't know when to pull back! The flatulence jokes and I'm gay/not gay references are overdone and the segment about the "droppings" on the floor goes beyond vulgar.
    Those sections might appeal to those 12 and under but MacFarlen's talents are considerable and he needs to aim for audiences that appreciate the adult nature of cartoon life.
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  25. Dec 7, 2012
    5
    Movie bad but entertaining ...
  26. Feb 14, 2013
    5
    Ted is a decent movie at best, and I mean at the very best. I don't really like Seth's cartoons such as family guy but decided to give this a chance. I didn't really see why everyone thought this was so funny. I only had a few laugh out loud moments and that was near the end of the movie. The beginning and middle aren't that good but they ramp it up at the end. Don't bother buying thisTed is a decent movie at best, and I mean at the very best. I don't really like Seth's cartoons such as family guy but decided to give this a chance. I didn't really see why everyone thought this was so funny. I only had a few laugh out loud moments and that was near the end of the movie. The beginning and middle aren't that good but they ramp it up at the end. Don't bother buying this movie. It isn't a must watch either. I can't really recommend this to anyone but hardcore family guy fans. Expand
  27. Jul 22, 2012
    5
    Ted has some funny stuff going for it. The movie itself has some hilarious ideas, but it's just not as funny as the commercials made it out to be. The story is pretty mundane: Mark Whalberg is brought down by his bear and Mila Kunis has had enough of it and gives our pot-smoking friend an ultimatum.
  28. BKM
    Jan 17, 2013
    5
    MacFarlane is a genuinely talented and funny guy, but Ted too often feels like an episode of Family Guy stretched far too thin. There's plenty of pop cultural references, 80's nostalgia, crude humor and inside jokes but for the most party they don't feel particularly original or funny. You get the sense that there's a truly uproarious 30 minute short film trying to break free from thisMacFarlane is a genuinely talented and funny guy, but Ted too often feels like an episode of Family Guy stretched far too thin. There's plenty of pop cultural references, 80's nostalgia, crude humor and inside jokes but for the most party they don't feel particularly original or funny. You get the sense that there's a truly uproarious 30 minute short film trying to break free from this overstuffed story. Expand
  29. Jul 8, 2012
    4
    Wife and I like a raunchy funny movie just like most. Ted provides some good laughs, is a decent story, ans Giovanni ribisi was flat-out hysterical! That all said, I wouldn't go with high expectations, and children should not be seeing Ted!
  30. Jan 25, 2014
    6
    Ted is a funny, crude comedy from the creator of Family Guy. It's funny by default to see a foul mouthed, bear drinking live action teddy bear by default. There are a whole bunch of laugh out loud moments. That said, Ted hits rockier ground in the final third, with the emotional scenes failing to take flight.
  31. Oct 4, 2012
    6
    TED is seriously funny, I LOL'd too much was watching it. But it doesn't mean TED is a great comedy movie. Somewhat its third act was boring and yes, I got problem with MacFarlane himself as TED. It's really good movie to celebrating 20th birthday with your friends.
  32. Jan 5, 2013
    6
    Ted is an experiment to find out how long people will find a rude teddy bear funny; the answer is roughly 40 minutes. The film is essentially a one-trick pony with added romance sub plot for extra redundancy. It does have some very funny moments though, and is clearly aimed at a certain demographic and is sort of Family Guy lite. The Flash Gordon stuff and the duck ("James Franco") had meTed is an experiment to find out how long people will find a rude teddy bear funny; the answer is roughly 40 minutes. The film is essentially a one-trick pony with added romance sub plot for extra redundancy. It does have some very funny moments though, and is clearly aimed at a certain demographic and is sort of Family Guy lite. The Flash Gordon stuff and the duck ("James Franco") had me in stitches. Expand
  33. Nov 27, 2012
    6
    I will start off by saying i am not a fan of family...no that is not correct i have never watched family guy so i do not know if i am a fan or not! So my views have no outside influence from a passion for the director or any of his other work.

    The film...is watchable and while the first part of the film made me chuckle in places those chuckles quickly faded away. It is not a bad film
    I will start off by saying i am not a fan of family...no that is not correct i have never watched family guy so i do not know if i am a fan or not! So my views have no outside influence from a passion for the director or any of his other work.

    The film...is watchable and while the first part of the film made me chuckle in places those chuckles quickly faded away. It is not a bad film but nor is it a good one either, it certainly won't be one that i go back and watch again. The story is predicatble and while usually that doesn't bother me i still found myself wishing that it would hurry up and get to the next plot point. The cast is full of famous faces and the small cameos here and there provide a 'oh look..its him' i never flet very much for the main characters. For those looking for a laugh out loud movie this is not what you are looking for.....
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  34. Jan 24, 2013
    4
    From the creator of Family Guy we could expect a demented movie, and so it was! Ted is in some phases fun, but for others it is insane. A plot too poor to earn $ 500 million.
  35. Sep 20, 2012
    6
    Ted is considered as one of the best comedy of this year. Yet again, I am finding it a little bit difficult to connect with its American style humor though. For all it
  36. Sep 3, 2014
    6
    The concept of Ted is something only Seth MacFarlane would come up--and rightfully so, he'd be the only man to make it work. It certainly does. I'd recommend lessening some of the profanity to allow the audience to better connect.
  37. Feb 17, 2013
    4
    If this was supposed to be one of the best comedies of the year, that is sad, because it was hardly amusing at all. Instead of having jokes naturally flow with the script they seemed so placed. Decent acting and a somewhat lively car chase scene are what saves this movie.
  38. Jan 5, 2013
    6
    I was quite disappointed with Ted to be truthful. I actually found that Ted became slightly annoying as the movie went on, which is a pretty major problem. The script is packed with Family Guy style lines for Ted, but I found them to be very hit and miss, even more so once Ted began to grate on me. That's not to say that Ted doesn't have some very funny moments and nice touches. ForI was quite disappointed with Ted to be truthful. I actually found that Ted became slightly annoying as the movie went on, which is a pretty major problem. The script is packed with Family Guy style lines for Ted, but I found them to be very hit and miss, even more so once Ted began to grate on me. That's not to say that Ted doesn't have some very funny moments and nice touches. For instance, it begins with nods to magical Christmas films as Patrick Stewart narrates John's Christmas wish as the camera pans over the neighbourhood at night to witness a shooting star. I also liked the way that Macfarlane made the magic of Ted visible to all and that Ted had become an overnight celebrity before his novelty and popularity wore off. It's a refreshing but necessary take on the traditional children's magic tale. Overall, it's a shame I didn't enjoy the film more as Mark Wahlberg plays the role of the lazy, childish grown-up well and also shows a good handle for the comedy aspect. Expand
  39. Nov 13, 2012
    6
    Honestly, I was hoping that Seth's directional debut would be so wonderful that it would gather a lot of praise and appreciation but things didn't work out the way they should have. Ted is not a terrible movie but it isn't a great one either. Some jokes are new, some jokes are funny, some are old as crap and they don't even make you laugh. Seth MacFarlane has put an effort in this film butHonestly, I was hoping that Seth's directional debut would be so wonderful that it would gather a lot of praise and appreciation but things didn't work out the way they should have. Ted is not a terrible movie but it isn't a great one either. Some jokes are new, some jokes are funny, some are old as crap and they don't even make you laugh. Seth MacFarlane has put an effort in this film but the outcome isn't ideal. Not the worst directional debut because you can still enjoy this film if you are familiar with Ted's work such as Family Guy. A few of the scenes are really good and those are the things that keep this film from falling apart. Ryan Reynolds' cameo is pretty amazing as well as Joel McHale's acting, it's funny. The fight between Ted and Bennet (Mark Wahlberg) is one of the funniest things about this film. The narration by Patrick Stewart is a clever thing to do when you have even a slightest bit of idea that your movie might not do good. Overall, Ted is a good movie with still enjoyable jokes and little emotions. Expand
  40. Jul 16, 2012
    6
    Ted is far away from the fun in Family Guy or American Dad. At this point the movie has a rating of 7.7 at imdb and that´s totally overrated. It is a typically hollywood story with a car chase and at first safd but then happy ending. the jokes are meh, not really new except 2 or 3 in 100 Minutes. The rest is all been there before in other movies or series and the voice of SethTed is far away from the fun in Family Guy or American Dad. At this point the movie has a rating of 7.7 at imdb and that´s totally overrated. It is a typically hollywood story with a car chase and at first safd but then happy ending. the jokes are meh, not really new except 2 or 3 in 100 Minutes. The rest is all been there before in other movies or series and the voice of Seth doesn´t help much to it. I was hoping for more, when i saw the rating on imdb before i saw ted, but it was quite a dissapointment, I think Seth did not want to risk too much in his first multi million dollar production and kept it quite comercial and mass apealed. Maybe the next one will keep up to what Mc Farlane is capable of. I rate this 6.2. Saw 21 jump Street two days ago and found it funnier. But both not worth cinema tickets on my oppinion. Expand
  41. Aug 24, 2012
    5
    It was a funny film in places and a little bit serious in others. Very similar to Family Guy in style but not in quality. The TV show is leagues ahead of this film. Could have been better but could have been a lot worse. Worth a viewing, especially if you are up to date with some 80s knowledge.
  42. Aug 11, 2012
    4
    As a fan of Family Guy and American Dad I had quite expectations for Ted, even if I knew that it would be just another movie with not-at-all-new jokes a 13-year old would laugh his *** off. The only thing that was new about it was the bear. The things that make a comedy movie (the jokes and the dialogues) were so damn old. How is it possible that there is no real comedy anymore in cinemas.As a fan of Family Guy and American Dad I had quite expectations for Ted, even if I knew that it would be just another movie with not-at-all-new jokes a 13-year old would laugh his *** off. The only thing that was new about it was the bear. The things that make a comedy movie (the jokes and the dialogues) were so damn old. How is it possible that there is no real comedy anymore in cinemas. Only these premature jokes about sex and drugs. The only comedy movies that the actual opposite target audience likes are Scary Movie-films, American Pie, The Dictator, Ted, ... .
    This movie was clearly made for teens, even though it's rated R.
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  43. May 10, 2015
    4
    Ted, ironically has very little Ted in it.

    Seth MacFarlane's first outing to the silver screen is one of confused clutter, his raunchy entertaining sense of humor buried in a sea of awkward unconvincing drama. Ted is not a comedy. Ted himself is merely the comic relief in a bland drama about a remarkably generic roommate named "John". When John was a child, he wished on Christmas Day
    Ted, ironically has very little Ted in it.

    Seth MacFarlane's first outing to the silver screen is one of confused clutter, his raunchy entertaining sense of humor buried in a sea of awkward unconvincing drama. Ted is not a comedy. Ted himself is merely the comic relief in a bland drama about a remarkably generic roommate named "John".

    When John was a child, he wished on Christmas Day that his new Teddy Bear would come to life and be his friend. The film makes a turn for the parody with an admittedly very funny first half hour. However this is quickly seen to be short lived. The film's focus is around John having to kick Ted out of his apartment to focus on his relationship with his succubus girlfriend "Laura or Lori or something or rather I honestly barely recall". This means that after the first bit of fan service, featuring nearly every scene shown in the trailers the film gets misleading and shifts focus off of its title character in favor of an unfunny couple who simply do not have chemistry. They are not cute, they are not funny and they unfortunately pave the road for what the film is.

    Depressing.

    I'm not kidding. Literally everything past the forty minute mark is just awkward drama about some guy trying to break things off with his roommate and it follows the tropes so closely that it's impossible to get invested. Ted is the only likable character, if anything because he gets a few laughs in the few precious minutes he's actually on screen (being an expensive CG character the film chooses not to put him on screen any time they don't have to in favor of much cheaper live action). Ted's humor itself isn't exactly sharp, but it's just goofy and foul enough to get a few laughs for the trailer. Past that though it's just an awkward hour of people complaining about growing up, sad music playing, shots of people in the rain, a disappointing subplot to shoehorn in a climax and a seemingly endless barrage of celebrity humor most of which doesn't make sense.

    Ted's sad, alright? It's a sad, depressing movie and every second past forty minutes you're less concerned with laughing at the bear, and more concerned with the bland protagonist just getting his life together or, better yet, moving back in with the damn bear so we can laugh again. It's so-so acting, a predictable script, incredibly fleeting moments of actual comedy and a generally tedious, albeit well animated when Ted himself is onscreen picture that simply isn't gripping enough to make you care. If you really want to see the raunchy comedy, just fast forward the first forty minutes on netflix to the scenes with the actual bear in them. Or better yet, just watch Team America or American Dad. If you're in it for the drama on growing up, go for Toy Story 3.
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  44. Sep 26, 2012
    6
    This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. I really liked this film because it has dirty jokes and funny humor on every scene was just funny if you Expand
  45. Nov 9, 2012
    6
    It's not remarkably original, but it has enough laughs to progress the story. The best parts of the film are all the film references and the elaborate fight scene.
  46. Oct 29, 2012
    6
    "Ted" is almost an exercise polarized. On one side is an entertaining comedy of a talking bear and delivers a humorous bonhomie on his filial relationship with his best friend, that through the years it becomes so complicated that both mature. It's in a fictional foundation but has a poignant allegory hitting with a frenetic modern humor. On the other hand, is a representation somewhat"Ted" is almost an exercise polarized. On one side is an entertaining comedy of a talking bear and delivers a humorous bonhomie on his filial relationship with his best friend, that through the years it becomes so complicated that both mature. It's in a fictional foundation but has a poignant allegory hitting with a frenetic modern humor. On the other hand, is a representation somewhat stupid, unoriginal and disorderly: a comedy that delivers a humorous mood but nothing substantial. Expand
  47. Aug 18, 2013
    6
    I`t has it`s moments but nothing great. I could not help but hope the first few minutes would speed up. Like another person said it`s a comedy so ask your self if you found anything to laugh at, and I have to say i did, so it wasn`t bad.The movie may have A Teddy Bear but it is not for kids, you should know this right from the trailers.
  48. Dec 28, 2012
    5
    Welcome to family guy the movie. Seth Macfarlane is a real huge fan of making things talk that wouldn't normally talk. It's good some cheap laughs in it, but nothing more really. Good if you want a quick and easy comedy that you don't want to think about, otherwise I'd say avoid it. Bump it up to a 7 or 8 if you watch it high.
  49. Jan 27, 2013
    5
    Now before you read this I would like you to know I am not a fan of family guy.

    This movie was funny. I'll admit it. it made me laugh out loud many times as a comedic movie should. However, though its comedic value was more than satisfactory the grandeur of the plot through the kidnapping. It was expected and unjust for the movie. It did not flow through well and brought the movie down
    Now before you read this I would like you to know I am not a fan of family guy.

    This movie was funny. I'll admit it. it made me laugh out loud many times as a comedic movie should. However, though its comedic value was more than satisfactory the grandeur of the plot through the kidnapping. It was expected and unjust for the movie. It did not flow through well and brought the movie down to a 5 for me in the end. I think people should watch this movie but don't watch the last 30 minutes.
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  50. Dec 13, 2013
    6
    Perfect to have a good time. A light movie with an interesting idea that will make to laugh at times. It gets better as the movie progresses, which is always good. There are some vulgar moments though. But it also has a heart. It´s a pretty good balance. Watching Ryan Reynolds kissing a man is always an incentive too
  51. Jan 20, 2013
    5
    Funniness: 4/10 Story: 6/10 Characters: 5/10 = 5 (average)
    Oh god. This film. This film everybody. This film. Is quiet bad. Many of my friends said to me 'Watch Ted it's so funny' So I watched it. And it weren't funny. The beginning was well written I will admit. But it got worst and worst as the minutes ticked. To be honest 2 words would describe this film amazingly. 'Seth MacFarlane' or
    Funniness: 4/10 Story: 6/10 Characters: 5/10 = 5 (average)
    Oh god. This film. This film everybody. This film. Is quiet bad. Many of my friends said to me 'Watch Ted it's so funny' So I watched it. And it weren't funny. The beginning was well written I will admit. But it got worst and worst as the minutes ticked. To be honest 2 words would describe this film amazingly. 'Seth MacFarlane' or 'Family Guy'! Other words ****
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  52. Feb 18, 2013
    6
    To me Ted is one of the best examples of a typical Hollywood comedy. I think most people got to see it because it's Seth McFarlane who made it. So it's not weird to expect something as funny as Family Guy. Well, i just couldn't laugh my pants off. I DID enjoy the movie but that's just because it's somehow entertaining. Same as The Hangover, Paul and Due Date, I think this movie is just,To me Ted is one of the best examples of a typical Hollywood comedy. I think most people got to see it because it's Seth McFarlane who made it. So it's not weird to expect something as funny as Family Guy. Well, i just couldn't laugh my pants off. I DID enjoy the movie but that's just because it's somehow entertaining. Same as The Hangover, Paul and Due Date, I think this movie is just, okay. Just as lame and predictable as most of this kind, but yet, it's enjoyable. And actually there wasn't any moment where I expected it to be more than just enjoyable. Definitely not as funny as Family Guy (most of the time) is, but way less awful than the unnecessary spin-off "The Cleveland Show". If you're chilling with some friends, drinking a cold beer of whatever, go watch it. You'll probably laugh a couple of times. But you're wasting your time if you're expecting a strong and original comedy. Expand
  53. Apr 5, 2013
    6
    i love Mark Wahlberg movies. all of them -well not all of them Max Payne was terrible. but any way i think that Ted is a good movie but the real question is is it a great comedy movie well No i think that the jokes should be better and much more since we have this great character Ted in the movie and i don't know why but i actually felt half-empty after finishing this movie as ai love Mark Wahlberg movies. all of them -well not all of them Max Payne was terrible. but any way i think that Ted is a good movie but the real question is is it a great comedy movie well No i think that the jokes should be better and much more since we have this great character Ted in the movie and i don't know why but i actually felt half-empty after finishing this movie as a comedy movie fan i thought this movie gonna fill me up. but unfortunately it didn't but that doesn't mean i didn't enjoy it but i think it would be a lot lot better if more jokes and more effort were putting into it. Expand
  54. Mar 13, 2013
    6
    There is some really funny moments here, but I thought that it could have been funnier. Mark Wahlberg continues to prove he has the ability to be great in comedies, but I still preferred The Other Guys.
  55. Aug 13, 2014
    6
    Ok so let me tell you why everyone thing this was a beast of a movie: The ending is good, really good, and when you tell someone about a movie you have seen, you obviously have the ending in mind more than the rest of the movie. Whatever, I think it still wasn't a bad movie at all, i laughed, but i honestly think a movie like this has a very limited audience, maybe teens, but still notOk so let me tell you why everyone thing this was a beast of a movie: The ending is good, really good, and when you tell someone about a movie you have seen, you obviously have the ending in mind more than the rest of the movie. Whatever, I think it still wasn't a bad movie at all, i laughed, but i honestly think a movie like this has a very limited audience, maybe teens, but still not every ''teen'' enjoys this type of comedy...

    But yeah i would still watch the movie if i was you reading this review.
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  56. Oct 29, 2013
    5
    This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Ted doesn't bring anything new to the table, and offers very little to begin with, but it has a heart. The usual Hollywood plot line of the perfect couple that breaks up over something in the man's life and gets back together in the end is predictable, but diverting nonetheless. Expand
  57. Dec 20, 2013
    6
    Ted is funny and very enjoyable. However, it focuses on and gags (even the jokes are somewhat derivative) more than its story and is very predictable.
  58. Jun 25, 2015
    6
    Crude, Vulgar and ridiculous from start to finish, Ted is offensive, but frickin' hilarious! What else can we expect from Seth MacFarlane. And yes Ted, you do sound like Peter Griffen (get the jist)
  59. Mar 4, 2014
    6
    Basically an extended Family Guy episode under the guise of a rather mediocre and unoriginal plot, but it still works. Chemistry between Wahlberg and Ted and humour are pretty great, and even with the annoying characters, overly long sequences and romcom cliches, it still turns out to be an overall worthwhile feel-good film.
  60. Nov 10, 2014
    6
    Ted is funny and very enjoyable. However, it focuses on and gags (even the jokes are somewhat derivative) more than its story and is very predictable.
  61. Dec 13, 2014
    5
    Summary: Ted is an above-average comedy with some funny moments. 52/100 [C]

    Ted is a comedy film written and directed by Seth MacFarlane, starring Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis and Seth MacFarlane (as Ted's voice). I was so pumped for this movie and I had very high expectations. Unfortunately, it wasn't as good as I thought. Ted squanders its potential with an uneven, weirdly written
    Summary: Ted is an above-average comedy with some funny moments. 52/100 [C]

    Ted is a comedy film written and directed by Seth MacFarlane, starring Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis and Seth MacFarlane (as Ted's voice). I was so pumped for this movie and I had very high expectations. Unfortunately, it wasn't as good as I thought. Ted squanders its potential with an uneven, weirdly written script. The simple fact of being a movie about a talking bear is interesting, but this bear is a douchebag and I don't like his voice; MacFarlane's voice is so annoying, his voice just doesn't match with the likable appearance of the bear. As we go, the black humor was tedious, although I'm pretty sure that a huge part of the audience will enjoy the tone of the movie. To me... it's just a too vulgar film.

    On the upside, the opening scene is fantastic, very enjoyable and quite touching. I also liked a scene near the last act where Ted and Mark Wahlberg's character are fighting each other, it was hilarious. There's another funny scene where Mila Kunis' character has to lift a piece of crap, and I found it wickedly funny! The special effects are great, the bear looks realistic and its design is so well done. I laughed and had fun with Ted, but I can't say that is a good film! Ted is just a well-acted romantic comedy that has its moments, some of them astonishingly funny. I also liked most of the characters, the cinematography and the camera work. Also, the musical score is jazzy and quite pleasant.

    I really wanted to love Ted, but its story is kinda uninteresting and some of the jokes are horrendously offensive. It had potential for being a great PG rated film, but come on... it's directed by Seth MacFarlane, so there will be a lot of profanity and blasphemy in it. It works as a romantic comedy, but it is a very vulgar one to me. The script is filled with boring pop culture references and racist gags. I just can't take this movie seriously. Also, the ending is very silly and predictable. It is a comedy for a very specific audience, I'm sure that fans of MacFarlane's previous work will be satisfied with this one. Anyway, I still give it credit because at least there's chemistry between the characters and it made me laugh at times. [C]
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  62. Apr 6, 2015
    5
    Un film moyen avec des personnages plutôt drôles mais ce sont les enchainement de "gags" qui sont selon moins en dessous. Dommage. Un film sans plus.
  63. Apr 11, 2015
    6
    Ok, I'll admit it has some funny pranks. Also, it's pretty cool the use of the bad words. But besides that, the movie has a little lame acting, some poor jokes, overreacting to many things, and it's very cliched in many aspects. I liked it, and I would recommend it if you just want to have a fun time.
    Real score: 5.7
Metascore
62

Generally favorable reviews - based on 37 Critics

Critic score distribution:
  1. Positive: 21 out of 37
  2. Negative: 3 out of 37
  1. Reviewed by: Tony Horkins
    Jul 23, 2012
    80
    A fabulous first live-action effort, combining R-rated hilarity with skilled storytelling as it slips some real heart into the stuffing of a toy bear.
  2. Reviewed by: Steve Persall
    Jul 1, 2012
    83
    It's often convulsively funny.
  3. Reviewed by: Andrew O'Hehir
    Jul 1, 2012
    80
    In a universe of Hollywood comedies that seem determined to insult the audience and pander to the basest form of post-adolescent fantasy, Ted feels almost sophisticated.