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Generally favorable reviews- based on 593 Ratings

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  1. Negative: 56 out of 593

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  1. Apr 13, 2014
    Consensus: Hampered by an unlikable central character, and thin narrative, Ted is effective only if we see it as an average romantic comedy with some laughs. 59/100 C+ Directed by Seth MacFarlane and starring Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis and Seth MacFarlane. The film begins in 1985, where John Bennett, a lonely boy living in a suburb in South Boston, makes a Christmas miracle happen by bringing his one and only friend to life, his teddy bear. The two grow up together and John must then choose to stay with his girlfriend or keep his friendship with his crude and extremely inappropriate teddy bear, Ted. I was really excited to see this movie, I had very high expectations, and finally saw it and finished very disappointed, Ted squandered that great potential in a nonsense and uninteresting comedy, with an unnecessary black humor and an extremely thin narrative, though it has its moments. The simple fact of being a movie with a Talking Bear is awesome, but all the films I saw Ted not as a cute teddy bear, I saw it as an adult bitter, angry, nothing friendly also the voice of Seth MacFarlane does not match at all with the appearance of Ted. The film is full of annoying stereotypes, and what bothers me more, black humor as I said unnecessary, Ted was born to be viewed by brainless people, is not a smart movie, is silly and it was not as funny as I expected, I have seen pictures on my face-book funniest than Ted. Of the few good things I can say about Ted is that its first 15 minutes are very nice and there are parts in the whole movie that are hilarious, plus it has very good camera direction, special effects, photography, soundtrack etc. I Really want to like Ted, but its narrative is very weak also uninteresting and could be much better, had the potential to be a PG film or at least a PG-13 film, but Ted is just a rude, and annoying comedy with a likable cast (except Seth MacFarlane), it works as a romantic comedy, but if you expect a movie about a likable bear with an interesting narrative, Ted is not the choice. Ted is a well-acted romantic comedy, which has its moments (some very funny), but fails to give us a clever story and a consistent screenplay. NICE... the performances and the cast (except Seth MacFarlane, his voice is so annoying and just doesn't fit with the teddy bear), the soundtrack, all the work was done with the special effects, photography. Some very funny moments. There's a scene with Mila Kunis and she has to lift a piece of crap, and I found it very funny!. FAIL... its thin narrative, Ted never shows its great potential, can be much better, sometimes it's tedious, racist, etc... It is full of stereotypes, the end is very silly, uninspired and predictable. WATCH THIS MOVIE IF... If you like all the nonsense comedies, and if you want to laugh for a while. I laughed and had fun with Ted but I can't say that it's a good film!. DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE IF... if you expect a big concept, Ted is not as good as it looks, the film delivers lots of laughs, but its narrative is just thin, the film primarily focuses on making joke after joke, Ted is just that a joke. Full Review: MemoBosque.Blogspot.Mx Twitter: @MemoBosque Expand
  2. Mar 23, 2014
    As low-brow comedies about talking, weed-smoking teddy bears go, this movie is just great. It has solid plot, solid acting and basically solid everything. It's even a bit funny how fresh and well-paced this movie feels while it's basically doing nothing but following movie-making 101. Especially since it has very traditional comedy story structure. But I guess these days if you manage to make movie that can keep itself together an hour and half it's already nearing brilliance... Expand
  3. Mar 18, 2014
    from the guy who brought us family guy and american dad . Seth MacFarlane is the adult swim king and this movie brought me laughs and joy . i love Seth's directing and writing the script . i heard ted 2 is coming soon in 2015 which i will enjoy and willing to see
  4. Mar 4, 2014
    Basically an extended Family Guy episode under the guise of a rather mediocre and unoriginal plot, but it still works. Chemistry between Wahlberg and Ted and humour are pretty great, and even with the annoying characters, overly long sequences and romcom cliches, it still turns out to be an overall worthwhile feel-good film.
  5. Feb 15, 2014
    Seth Macfarlane's first feature film is even more raunchy than both family guy and south park combined. The plot was decent and the acting was a two thumbs up. I can't say if a sequel was made that I would watch it, and if their is one I probably wouldn't. But still I found this film to be very funny. Very funny indeed.
  6. Jan 25, 2014
    Ted is a funny, crude comedy from the creator of Family Guy. It's funny by default to see a foul mouthed, bear drinking live action teddy bear by default. There are a whole bunch of laugh out loud moments. That said, Ted hits rockier ground in the final third, with the emotional scenes failing to take flight.
  7. Jan 21, 2014
    A hilarious funny movie with unserious content that keeps me laughing! Ted is one of the movies of 2012 that you got to see, because it's so funny and entertaining. The negative part of this movie is that the story is a little misleading, because you really don't know whats going to happen next, but I guess that's just because the creator of Family Guy, Seth Macfarlane directed this movie. Another bad thing is that the ending could have been more entertaining, because it was a little to "serious" ending, but also that the movie is way more funnier in the first half of the movie, which decreased in the second part.

    I would give this movie a 8/10, if it had more unserious humor in the second half of the movie. But I really recommend this movie for everyone that loves Family Guy´s unserious humor!
    Ted gets a 7,5/10
  8. Jan 10, 2014
    I fail to see what so many people find funny about this movie. As a former fan of both American Dad and Family Guy I had high hopes for this movie, especially because the trailers looked hilarious. Unfortunately I found that 99% of the movies funny material is in the trailer. This is a movie that tries to get by on vulgarity alone. It's like Seth MacFarlane is hoping that you'll ignore how unnecessarily vulgar this movie is and laugh at it just because a teddy bear is the one doing these crude and painfully unfunny things.

    As far as the plot goes it's a tale about growing up mixed with both a rom-com and a bromance flick. An interesting combination to say the least, but the shear unbridled obscenity of the "humor" drowns out any hint of sentimentality this movie might have had. I don't mind vulgar humor as long as it's funny, and I just can't view this movie as funny. To me it's like Seth MacFarlane had so much pent up dirty humor inside him that he couldn't unleash on one of his TV shows, that he just decided to cram as much of it as he could into a movie with out any thought or care about whether or not it was actually funny.

    I found this to be a colossal waste of my time and the film never got anything more from a chuckle from me. I don't personally recommend it, but you might be like a lot of the other people out there who enjoyed the film. All I can say is that I found the film to be vulgar just for the sake of being vulgar, and was willing to sacrifice humor in order to be so. Clearly there's something to like here as so many people have enjoyed the movie. In my personal opinion this movie isn't funny. In the end all I can do is just give you my opinion and tell you to do with that information what you will. Like I said I didn't enjoy the movie, but many people did. Do with that info what you will.
  9. Jan 1, 2014
    If you despise tons and tons of swear words and just pretend a good story, look away because this is a movie made for laughs...and damn it's funny! The film is filled with bad words and puns, so many that you'll stop caring and just laugh: in a way, it's a silly movie that really doesn't improve anything, but it's made for good laughs.

    However, I gotta admit I also loved for its morals,
    because Ted, despite being a drug addict and basically a vulgar bear, it's actually a good "guy" and loves his friend more than anything. Even the main protagonist John is very good and likeable despite being a drug addict too but you'll see his good intentions and actual love for his girlfriend AND friend Ted: it's rare to find good characters with flaws, since they tend to overdo on the flaw side and make them annoying as hell. And all of this to show basically a lot of teachings: the fact that you can have flaws but still be a very good guy, that people easily judge on the surface and for actions (the fact that the girlfriend wants him to choose between him, or the bear is hilarious if you think about it). And most importantly, how we have to move on from our childhood and stop acting as so...but to not totally forget who we were and to actually remind us that "we were kids and we will always have a part of that inside us".

    That, or I'm just overanalyzing things.
  10. Dec 20, 2013
    Ted is funny and very enjoyable. However, it focuses on and gags (even the jokes are somewhat derivative) more than its story and is very predictable.
  11. Dec 13, 2013
    Perfect to have a good time. A light movie with an interesting idea that will make to laugh at times. It gets better as the movie progresses, which is always good. There are some vulgar moments though. But it also has a heart. It´s a pretty good balance. Watching Ryan Reynolds kissing a man is always an incentive too
  12. Nov 1, 2013
    Brilliant film packed full of huge laughs with a very strong plot and very good characters. The acting is excellent and the end part is the best! Highly recommend!
  13. Oct 29, 2013
    This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Ted doesn't bring anything new to the table, and offers very little to begin with, but it has a heart. The usual Hollywood plot line of the perfect couple that breaks up over something in the man's life and gets back together in the end is predictable, but diverting nonetheless. Expand
  14. Aug 30, 2013
    Not a good movie at all!!! I didn't like it!!! It's rubbish, it's not funny, it's not dramatic, it's not's absolutely nothing!!! Oh, I's horr....ible!!!!
  15. Aug 29, 2013
    This movie is simply awesome. I very creative, and the way he acts with the teddy bear really seems real. Its amazing, I can't even imegine someone saying something negative about this movie... Amazing!
  16. Aug 18, 2013
    I`t has it`s moments but nothing great. I could not help but hope the first few minutes would speed up. Like another person said it`s a comedy so ask your self if you found anything to laugh at, and I have to say i did, so it wasn`t bad.The movie may have A Teddy Bear but it is not for kids, you should know this right from the trailers.
  17. Aug 17, 2013
    While I do have a couple of issues with Ted most of them are me just looking at the film for what it could have been along with nitpicking. When you finish watching a comedy you should not be thinking too much about your issues with the characters or the story but rather should ask yourself the question whether or not you laughed and if so how much and how hard. With this movie a laughed quite a few times such to the point that I do not mind the clichés and the unaddressed issue at the end of the film. While the film is not hilarious it is still funny and definitely worth a watch. I am glad I saw it and if Seth McFarlene makes more movies I only hope that he keeps me laughing. Expand
  18. Aug 16, 2013
    Why is everyone ripping on this movie? I thought that it was not only hilarious, but also very smart, which is what sets apart great comedies from good ones. Here we have John Bennett, played by Mark Wahlberg (while he isn't winning any Oscars, he does good comedies), who is stuck in a boyish state of mind, because he's lived his whole life with a teddy-bear. He grew up with Teddy as his only friend, and thus feels a loyalty to him. Yet, he also is 4 years into with Lori (Mila Kunis), and she wants him to grow up. We have a fresh and original story here! You constantly see romantic comedies and women who want men to grow up, and how in the end the man somehow becomes a true man and it's a happily ever after story. However, here we have a fresh look at it. Not only that, but the supporting characters are great. John's boss is hilarious, Ted's girlfriend is great, and the scenes with Flash Gordon are so funny. Is it groundbreaking? No. Will it change your life? Of course not. Is it vulgar? Yes. However, if you want to have a good time with friends while also watching a quality movie that will make you laugh but also hits home emotionally? Ted is the best comedy of 2012, and maybe the best comedy of the decade (so far). Expand
  19. Aug 3, 2013
    Ted has to be one of the funniest movies ever made, especially if it's made by Seth MacFarlane, the same guy that created both Family Guy and American Dad.
  20. Aug 1, 2013
    American comedies are going to very wrong destination! This movie is probably the worst i've ever seen! Dumb,vulgar,annoying,stupid and boring! I don't want to comment it,because just thinkng about "TED" makes me sick and angry! 0/10 is the highest score this movie deserves without no doubt!
  21. Jul 29, 2013
    es gracioso, divertido y con una idea aprovechada con el tipico humor de seth macfarlane juntando su buen humor para una buena pelicula, tierna y llena de diversion
  22. May 26, 2013
    Esta es una pelicula que esta muy pero muy buena, es divertida, es graciosa y es una comedia espectacular y no podes parar de reirte.Esta pelicula es la comedia del año 2012.
  23. May 25, 2013
    There's no plot to the movie, let me just clarify that first. Forget the romance-vs.-bromance story since this is merely a film with a series of vignettes presenting the lives of some dude and his foul-mouthed, pot smoking teddy bear. You've probably read this description and immediately thought that this is probably a pile 0f (expletive). But the thing is its not; it may not have a plot, there may be too many pop-culture references and the humour may be too vulgar for some but there's no denying that this is a great comedy, the best comedy since 2009s The Hangover and if you like that film then you'll probably like this too. Expand
  24. May 20, 2013
    Not as funny as I expected it to be but it is an entertaining movie.
  25. May 19, 2013
    This movie looked somewhat good as if it were something like Paul which I enjoyed. But after I saw it in theaters, I was extremely disappointed. It had a poor unoriginal plot, unoriginal jokes, and was no where near remember able. You think it could be OK for about 10 minutes into the movie but then it gets to the point where you want to leave the theater. It had the comedy of an immature 9 year old. I don't understand why so many people enjoyed when it was incredibly bad. It was a 2 hour Family Guy episode. Now, I somewhat enjoy Family Guy and you can accept it for some of it's bad jokes but when it's turned into a movie, you just want to ask Seth Macfarlane what the hell was he thinking. Expand
  26. May 6, 2013
    So, was it worth my while investing 106 minutes of my life on this one? I have to say, on balance; not really. Yes there are some wonderfully comic moments and smart one-liners in there but I did find it drifted far too much from the sublime to the ridiculous. Also, one minute Ted is ‘Brian’ for Family Guy and the next he turns into ‘Peter Griffin’ from the same show (despite his denials). I thought both Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis did a good job; both of their characters were quite believable. Ultimately though I did find it lacked the one thing it so desperately needed; heart. Still, I’m sure the many devotees of ‘Family Guy’ will love this one but for me, sadly, it’s a bit of a dud.

    SteelMonster’s verdict: NOT RECOMMENDED (…unless you’re a really big fan of Family Guy, in which case why haven’t you seen it yet!)

    My score: 5.3/10
  27. Apr 16, 2013
    Ted is a great movie. It's a film that anyone of any age can enjoy because it has a good story which is easy to follow, well directed and funny. The right actors were chosen, the length is perfect and it's never boring throughout. OK so maybe the film isn't as laugh out loud or ROFL funny as it could've been, and the story is somewhat similar to Garfield, but on the whole Ted is a solid film which is suitable for everyone. Expand
  28. Apr 13, 2013
    If you're a fan of Family Guy or American Dad you'll surely love this.This movie had me laughing from the start to the very end but I have to admit some of the jokes in this movie were very predictable and some were just darn right lazy
  29. Apr 12, 2013
    Seth McFarlane's first motion picture is everything you'd expect from Seth. It's humorously raunchy and has a great ensemble of actors like Mark Whalberg, Mila Kunis, and of course, Seth McFarlane. This movie was truly the biggest comedy of 2012. It also brings in some great cameos like the Flash Gordon scene. Boy was that funny. I wish I had more to say about this movie, but its what it is. Overall, if you like his other shows like "Family Guy" and "American Dad", then you'll love this hilarious live-action comedy. Collapse
  30. Apr 5, 2013
    Ted feels like just another MacFarlane cartoon. Except, it's not a cartoon, and that is really what's wrong with it. This movie clearly demonstrates just how unfamiliar MacFarlane is with making a real life movie. It'S one sketch cutting to the next. Over and over. until the movie ends. Faaaar to many 80s referencesconsidering the traget audience is more familiar with the 90s. BUT, that's where my criticism ends. Ted is extremely fun to watch and all of the characters just are so well presented and likable. Ted is basically just Peter Griffin as a teddy bear, just slightly smarter.

    Ted is a fun movie to watch and it will have you laughing. While the direction is a bit rough around the edges, it is MacFarlane's first full live action movie so it can be forgiven for that.
  31. Apr 5, 2013
    i love Mark Wahlberg movies. all of them -well not all of them Max Payne was terrible. but any way i think that Ted is a good movie but the real question is is it a great comedy movie well No i think that the jokes should be better and much more since we have this great character Ted in the movie and i don't know why but i actually felt half-empty after finishing this movie as a comedy movie fan i thought this movie gonna fill me up. but unfortunately it didn't but that doesn't mean i didn't enjoy it but i think it would be a lot lot better if more jokes and more effort were putting into it. Expand
  32. Mar 28, 2013
    This is literally one of the funniest movies I ever watched. I pissed my pants through the whole movie and laughed so hard that Ted is awesome. Ted is not a disappointing movie nor a ''ok'' movie, its pure awesome and funny. I love the Two main actors Mark and Mila in which also make the movie happen.
  33. Mar 24, 2013
    This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Ted is every single thing a Family Guy fan wants, and its also for people who don't like Family Guy. So, this movie is about Johnny who wishes his teddy to come to life. And when Teddy comes alive he becomes a international sensation and a best friend to his master, but eventually Teddy grows up and changes happen. Big changes. Johnny meets a girl and hangs with her for 4 years and now she wants marriage and Teddy has to move out. Teddy gets wild with his scrounged life and expects Johhny to join it. But his girlfriend is very serious about family business. And so, this crazy wild romp ride gets in sugarplum in its plot. Ted is the best comedy of 2012 and maybe the best ever made. Why should you watch it? Because its damn funny. I love Ted, it's a new creation that Seth McFarlane has created with a mix of wild condiments and, hey! Mila Kunis! The farty jokes were compelling and funny, the acting was great probably the best of 2012. Ted Is Real. Expand
  34. Mar 13, 2013
    There is some really funny moments here, but I thought that it could have been funnier. Mark Wahlberg continues to prove he has the ability to be great in comedies, but I still preferred The Other Guys.
  35. Feb 22, 2013
    Even though Ted is a Seth MacFarlane movie, I was hesitant to see it. A thirty year old guy who lives with his foul mouthed teddy bear?! I was expecting another Paul, but MacFarlane isn't British, and THIS film was hysterical. Ted is a raunchy real life living teddy bear, who combines the traits of every MacFarlane character. It was pretty awesome, sometimes you saw him as Peter, other times Brian, and so on. The real surprise of this film was Mark Wahlberg. I can't remember ever seeing him in a comedy and I wasn't sure his rather dry personality would work with MacFarlane's brand of humor, but he fit in like he's been doing this for years. I mean he was Marky Mark, he must have some personality in there somewhere! As for the story, it's not much different than a really good episode of Family Guy. Of course, it a lot more raunchy and it's not animated, but there are certainly many parallels, and defiantly some hysterical lines. It's not the kind of film I usually go for, at points, it's more than a little stupid, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I laughed my ass off throughout the film. Expand
  36. Feb 18, 2013
    To me Ted is one of the best examples of a typical Hollywood comedy. I think most people got to see it because it's Seth McFarlane who made it. So it's not weird to expect something as funny as Family Guy. Well, i just couldn't laugh my pants off. I DID enjoy the movie but that's just because it's somehow entertaining. Same as The Hangover, Paul and Due Date, I think this movie is just, okay. Just as lame and predictable as most of this kind, but yet, it's enjoyable. And actually there wasn't any moment where I expected it to be more than just enjoyable. Definitely not as funny as Family Guy (most of the time) is, but way less awful than the unnecessary spin-off "The Cleveland Show". If you're chilling with some friends, drinking a cold beer of whatever, go watch it. You'll probably laugh a couple of times. But you're wasting your time if you're expecting a strong and original comedy. Expand
  37. Feb 17, 2013
    If this was supposed to be one of the best comedies of the year, that is sad, because it was hardly amusing at all. Instead of having jokes naturally flow with the script they seemed so placed. Decent acting and a somewhat lively car chase scene are what saves this movie.
  38. Feb 16, 2013
    Ted is nothing more than a juvenile film with crude and mostly unfunny sex jokes. The movie is over the top punctuated by a few bright spots here and there. It seemed like Seth MacFarlane wrote down any stupid joke that came to mind and threw it all together.
  39. Feb 14, 2013
    Ted is a decent movie at best, and I mean at the very best. I don't really like Seth's cartoons such as family guy but decided to give this a chance. I didn't really see why everyone thought this was so funny. I only had a few laugh out loud moments and that was near the end of the movie. The beginning and middle aren't that good but they ramp it up at the end. Don't bother buying this movie. It isn't a must watch either. I can't really recommend this to anyone but hardcore family guy fans. Expand
  40. Feb 13, 2013
    If you are a fan of Family or Judd Apatow films you will be entertained by this one. However, if you are looking for comedy gold, you should probably look elsewhere. Best enjoyed with a group of guys at least 3-4 drinks in when you turn it on.
  41. Jan 31, 2013
    This movie is a great comedy. It is very dirty minded so if you don't like that then stay away from it. Definitely recommend watching it. BTW it isn't a kids movie just because there is a teddy bear.
  42. Jan 30, 2013
    I really didn't want to like this movie, we all knew it would be pop-cultured Family Guy jokes that we had heard was...but it was still funny.
    A young child makes a wish that his teddy bear will come to life, so that they can be best friends forever.
    27 years later, the grown up John (the return of COMEDIC Mark Whalberg, seriously, why does this guy not do more comedies?) is
    living with his has been, drug-riddled bear 'Ted' (vocied by director and writer Seth MacFarlane) who spends his day smoking and drinking an watching TV, doesn't sound funny? Well its really the chemistry that Whalberg can have with something that isn't actually there, that is impressive and credit to him, but the constant back and forth between the two, talking about Flash Gordon, rightfully dissing Adam Sandler, but most of all, the film simply keeps throwing more and more towards you, never taking its foot off the throttle, sure, its a typical tale of a guy's best friend being in the way of a blossoming relationship with a girl (played by the beautiful Mila Kunis) but its the absurdity of the situation that makes it that much more entertaining.
    It is perhaps the crude jokes that are the funniest, but what needs to be remembered is this is MacFarlane at the helm, its his duty and probably favourite pastime is to poke fun at the ridiculous world we live in..and why not to it through a Peter Griffin-sounding plush bear? (Yes, this is referenced in the film)
    It's not a brilliant piece of cinema, but if you know Seth MacFarlane's mind and you know what he is setting out to do, this could be the most enjoyable film of 2012, there even does come a time when emotion can be felt from the film, it definitely has an original twist on a familiar story, but absolutely worth a look
  43. Jan 27, 2013
    Now before you read this I would like you to know I am not a fan of family guy.

    This movie was funny. I'll admit it. it made me laugh out loud many times as a comedic movie should. However, though its comedic value was more than satisfactory the grandeur of the plot through the kidnapping. It was expected and unjust for the movie. It did not flow through well and brought the movie down
    to a 5 for me in the end. I think people should watch this movie but don't watch the last 30 minutes. Expand
  44. Jan 25, 2013
    The only thing 'shocking' about this movie is how lazy the writing is. Some good moments here, including a really funny bit part played by Joel McHale. Mila Kunis and Mark Wahlberg are good but they cannot carry a poor movie with a boring plot and weak jokes. The humour was base, unoriginal and just lame. If you're into racist stereotypes and fart jokes, this movie is for you.
  45. Jan 24, 2013
    From the creator of Family Guy we could expect a demented movie, and so it was! Ted is in some phases fun, but for others it is insane. A plot too poor to earn $ 500 million.
  46. Jan 21, 2013
    Ted is an homage to old, tired jokes and an attempt to shock its audience into liking the movie. Just like Seth McFarlane's completely unoriginal Family Guy, Ted dares its critics to lambast the movie and when they do, they are accused of being "unhip" or "too sensitive." I saw this movie in the summer and enjoyed the first ten minutes of the movie, when it maintained some sense of originality. Then it devolved into an hour and a half Family Guy or American Dad episode. Each joke less memorable than the one before it. Throughout the movie I couldn't help but feel sorry for Mila Kunis. (Maybe McFarlane has something on her and blackmailed her into starring?) And Mark Wahlberg played a completely unlikable loser. You don't want him to get the girl. Teenagers and 10-year-old boys will enjoy this movie because they enjoy anything that is crass. It makes them feel older and more powerful. Maybe that's what McFarlane's motivation behind his work is? Expand
  47. Jan 20, 2013
    Funniness: 4/10 Story: 6/10 Characters: 5/10 = 5 (average)
    Oh god. This film. This film everybody. This film. Is quiet bad. Many of my friends said to me 'Watch Ted it's so funny' So I watched it. And it weren't funny. The beginning was well written I will admit. But it got worst and worst as the minutes ticked. To be honest 2 words would describe this film amazingly. 'Seth MacFarlane' or
    'Family Guy'! Other words **** Expand
  48. Jan 19, 2013
    Breathtakingly bad. In fact "bad" doesn't begin to describe it. Another story about a 40-year old dimwitted loser with no ambition or self-awareness. Ok, we get it; it's already been done, countless times. Move on. Why decent talent would associate with such garbage is incomprehensible. Filthy, childish, violent, full of cliches, and dull beyond belief. To say that this appeals to pubescent boys is an insult to pubescent boys. It's impossible to determine the demographic for which this was intended. Movie critics like the pustule Ebert possibly. I guess this "Seth" guy does TV shows. He should stick to that vehicle and stay away from cinema, which is obviously beyond his intellectual capability. Expand
  49. BKM
    Jan 17, 2013
    MacFarlane is a genuinely talented and funny guy, but Ted too often feels like an episode of Family Guy stretched far too thin. There's plenty of pop cultural references, 80's nostalgia, crude humor and inside jokes but for the most party they don't feel particularly original or funny. You get the sense that there's a truly uproarious 30 minute short film trying to break free from this overstuffed story. Expand
  50. Jan 16, 2013
    How do i even start i bought this because i heard people saying how funny it was and you have to see it NO you should not buy this movie the story is Rubbish the comedy is mind numbing and boring i found myself fast forwarding to find any part of this movie that was good the only part i liked was patrick stuarts narrations but i feel he should not be associated with this movie because hes too good an actor in short worst film i have ever bought and seen Expand
  51. Jan 11, 2013
    Ted seemed to be a good movie, although the idea is very interesting and original, because nobody could possibly think in another use for a teddy bear than a toy for a little child. The director, Seth MacFarlane, obviously used his experience for creating this story in which a kid with no friends grows up with ted, entering both to a world of parties, sex and drugs. The problem is that the protagonist is now an adult with a girlfriend (asking for marriage) and a job, but he still has ted, with the exception that now it is promiscuous and a very bad influence. The film consists in funny situations about this couple and how it breaks with the adult world. The problem with this picture is that the jokes and situations are very weakly constructed and with the simplicity of a child. At no time this movie made me laugh, even more, I got bored. The story is poor and predictable, the performances are disgusting and the direction is awful, however how you cannot expect a complex humor from the guy who created Family Guy. Is shallow, is repetitive, is Ted-ious. Expand
  52. Jan 10, 2013
    What a disappointment!!! from time to time, I do like watching "The family guy" I find the humor funny. But this movie, seemed like it was a clone of the family guy, made with real actors, but heres the thing, it wasnt funny! I might of laughed a few times, but overall the movie draged on and on!
  53. Jan 7, 2013
    knowing the guys that made this movie, i was expecting it to not take itself seriously. i was expecting it to give a roller coaster of constant jokes and here and there fragments of brilliance, monty python style. instead, i thought that the plot got too much in the way. the jokes that are in the movie are very funny, as i'd expected.
  54. Jan 5, 2013
    Ted is an experiment to find out how long people will find a rude teddy bear funny; the answer is roughly 40 minutes. The film is essentially a one-trick pony with added romance sub plot for extra redundancy. It does have some very funny moments though, and is clearly aimed at a certain demographic and is sort of Family Guy lite. The Flash Gordon stuff and the duck ("James Franco") had me in stitches. Expand
  55. Jan 5, 2013
    I was quite disappointed with Ted to be truthful. I actually found that Ted became slightly annoying as the movie went on, which is a pretty major problem. The script is packed with Family Guy style lines for Ted, but I found them to be very hit and miss, even more so once Ted began to grate on me. That's not to say that Ted doesn't have some very funny moments and nice touches. For instance, it begins with nods to magical Christmas films as Patrick Stewart narrates John's Christmas wish as the camera pans over the neighbourhood at night to witness a shooting star. I also liked the way that Macfarlane made the magic of Ted visible to all and that Ted had become an overnight celebrity before his novelty and popularity wore off. It's a refreshing but necessary take on the traditional children's magic tale. Overall, it's a shame I didn't enjoy the film more as Mark Wahlberg plays the role of the lazy, childish grown-up well and also shows a good handle for the comedy aspect. Expand
  56. Jan 4, 2013
    Ted is a nice blend between dark and blue humour that will both amuse and offend audiences and will constantly keep them entertained with plenty of cultural references and an entertaining story-arch. Fans of Seth MacFarlane's Family Guy will definitely enjoy this film, but for those who don't like Family Guy, they probably won't like it at all.
  57. Jan 2, 2013
    I'm a huge fan of family guy and when I saw the trailer for Seth MacFarlane's first film Ted, I immediately had high hopes for it, and I was not disappointed. Ted is the story of John who as a child wished for his teddy bear to come to life and thanks to miracle, his wish came true. It's ironic how that could have been the set up to very sweet and charming film about a boy and his teddy bear but instead we have Ted, an incredibly funny and incredibly daring film. Obviously, the star of this film is the bear himself: Ted, voiced by Seth MacFarlane, his voice work combined with the brilliant writing is where most of the jokes come from in this film. It's a hilarious screenplay full of celebrity cameos, pop culture references and very daring jokes that make this film definitely not for everyone. It's the style of humour we see in Family Guy brought to the big screen and it's done very well, Seth MacFarlane shows that he is a great director here and I look forward to seeing what he does next. There is strong story to Ted, mainly down to it's characters. Mark Wahlberg does a great job at playing John and him and Ted have a great bromance going on, throw in Mila Kunis as Lori and you've got a trio that are great fun to watch. Despite it seeming a little out of character for John to be holding down a serious long term relationship with a girl like Lori, the two work really well together. The supporting cast are good and have their funny moments, they're not particularly memorable compared to the main characters. My main problem with Ted is that I feel like there could easily have been more of it, what is in the film is great but there are multiple aspects that seem like they're going somewhere but turn out to be nothing, and some potentially funny situations happen off screen, missing out on what could have been a funny scene. Overall, Ted is just what I thought it would be, a daring yet hilarious comedy that knows exactly what it wants to be, it has a few flaws but nothing that didn't stop me enjoying it. Ted is an excellent comedy and if you're a fan of Seth MacFarlane's cartoons then you'll love Ted. Expand
  58. Dec 28, 2012
    Welcome to family guy the movie. Seth Macfarlane is a real huge fan of making things talk that wouldn't normally talk. It's good some cheap laughs in it, but nothing more really. Good if you want a quick and easy comedy that you don't want to think about, otherwise I'd say avoid it. Bump it up to a 7 or 8 if you watch it high.
  59. Dec 21, 2012
    I really like TED... HAHA It's one of the funniest and coolest movies I've seen. But it has its flaws right? HAHA haha.
  60. Dec 20, 2012
    Grade: C+

    This isn't a serious movie. It's not supposed to be held to HIGH EXPECTATIONS! It's cynical, and downright vulgar. For one reason or another, I enjoyed it. i should be ashamed, but I'm not. Who cares?
  61. Dec 7, 2012
    Movie bad but entertaining ...
  62. Dec 2, 2012
    Besides a few Family Guy like moments, It was actually a pretty original and funny film. I laughed out loud quite a few times while watching it. Doesn't matter if you are a fan of Family Guy or not, You should definently give this movie a chance.
  63. Dec 1, 2012
    At first I was psyched about "Ted" because wow, Seth McFarlane gets to unleash and it's just gotta be great right ?! Not so much. People, this is a RomCom, yep, romantic comedy. And it's totally derivative, you've seen it all before. And a collateral effect is that it comes across as some weird offshoot of "Family Guy" because Seth's Ted character sounds like "Peter" and he does a "Stewie" too, and Mila Kunis is the voice of "Meg" so it's just weird. But look, as much as anybody I wanted to like/love this venture, but it's juvenile, disappointing, and done so many times before. Expand
  64. Nov 30, 2012
    One word hilarious this movie made me laugh until I cried.This is by far one of the best comedy films I have ever seen and I have seen alot.Not much more to say other than if you love family guy then this is the film for I'm going to watch it for the second time today.bye bye
  65. Nov 29, 2012
    Ted was maybe the funniest movie I've seen all year. Mark Wahlberg played a pretty good role but Mila Kunis and Seth MacFarlane (as Ted) steal the show. Mila is absolutely stunning as usual and MacFarlane's sense of humor is so deranged that you can't help but find it hilarious. This definitely isn't a movie for everyone. It's incredibly vulgar and some people might be offended by a lot of the content. Nonetheless, if you're like me and don't really care about any of that stuff, I think you'd love this movie. Expand
  66. Nov 28, 2012
    A very hysterically written, proficiently directed comedy film. MacFarlane should definitely be allowed to helm future projects.
  67. Nov 27, 2012
    I will start off by saying i am not a fan of that is not correct i have never watched family guy so i do not know if i am a fan or not! So my views have no outside influence from a passion for the director or any of his other work.

    The watchable and while the first part of the film made me chuckle in places those chuckles quickly faded away. It is not a bad film
    but nor is it a good one either, it certainly won't be one that i go back and watch again. The story is predicatble and while usually that doesn't bother me i still found myself wishing that it would hurry up and get to the next plot point. The cast is full of famous faces and the small cameos here and there provide a 'oh look..its him' i never flet very much for the main characters. For those looking for a laugh out loud movie this is not what you are looking for..... Expand
  68. Nov 18, 2012
    This movie was incredibly boring unless you think smoking pot,and having sex is funny. With such a heavy reliance on pop culture this movie will drift into meaninglessness in a mater on months. I find it surprising that some many reviewer though that this had any real substance because I can't see any, other than some mediocre animations.
  69. Nov 17, 2012
    The only entertaining thing for me during the entire movie was Ted mimicking voices like the Boston one. Otherwise, it's trashy comedy with bad acting. The plot was also very clique and no good.
  70. Nov 13, 2012
    Honestly, I was hoping that Seth's directional debut would be so wonderful that it would gather a lot of praise and appreciation but things didn't work out the way they should have. Ted is not a terrible movie but it isn't a great one either. Some jokes are new, some jokes are funny, some are old as crap and they don't even make you laugh. Seth MacFarlane has put an effort in this film but the outcome isn't ideal. Not the worst directional debut because you can still enjoy this film if you are familiar with Ted's work such as Family Guy. A few of the scenes are really good and those are the things that keep this film from falling apart. Ryan Reynolds' cameo is pretty amazing as well as Joel McHale's acting, it's funny. The fight between Ted and Bennet (Mark Wahlberg) is one of the funniest things about this film. The narration by Patrick Stewart is a clever thing to do when you have even a slightest bit of idea that your movie might not do good. Overall, Ted is a good movie with still enjoyable jokes and little emotions. Expand
  71. Nov 10, 2012
    Fairy tale for adults. And a great, Family-Guy-ish story of friendship. Seth McFarlane in good form, although not so witty as always. Very watchable movie.
  72. Nov 9, 2012
    It's not remarkably original, but it has enough laughs to progress the story. The best parts of the film are all the film references and the elaborate fight scene.
  73. Nov 7, 2012
    This film is so hilarius so politically scorret. it's the most politically scorret movie since borat and the funniest movie in years, but not perfect
  74. Nov 5, 2012
    Never has a comedy been so rambunctious and random, yet felt so real and relatable. As a fan of Family Guy, it may be a given I like Ted, but Seth MacFarlane here has proved the big screen isn't too big for him and his crew of crazy people to handle. He could be the next Judd Apatow.
  75. Oct 29, 2012
    "Ted" is almost an exercise polarized. On one side is an entertaining comedy of a talking bear and delivers a humorous bonhomie on his filial relationship with his best friend, that through the years it becomes so complicated that both mature. It's in a fictional foundation but has a poignant allegory hitting with a frenetic modern humor. On the other hand, is a representation somewhat stupid, unoriginal and disorderly: a comedy that delivers a humorous mood but nothing substantial. Expand
  76. Oct 12, 2012
    Pretty funny... But it did'nt involve me completely. Some jokes are pretty damn good, but then: making fun of Adam Sandler, but include jokes about farts and doo-doo in the same scenes?! Come on...
  77. Oct 12, 2012
    When I see the name of this movie I think this film will be awful, but when i see it's so funny and amazing, the actors are fantastic, i realy enjoy watch this movie
  78. Oct 4, 2012
    TED is seriously funny, I LOL'd too much was watching it. But it doesn't mean TED is a great comedy movie. Somewhat its third act was boring and yes, I got problem with MacFarlane himself as TED. It's really good movie to celebrating 20th birthday with your friends.
  79. Sep 30, 2012
    "Ted" is funny as hell, original, it has great dialogues, and it is surprisingly dramatic in some scenes. Never before in a film,a character made by a computer seemed so real and human as ted, at the end of the movie he is just like a person, he is a three-dimensional character. Mark Wahlberg and the entire cast is great, the family guyisch humor is so funny and the ending is fantastic. Ted is awesome! Expand
  80. Sep 26, 2012
    This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. I really liked this film because it has dirty jokes and funny humor on every scene was just funny if you Expand
  81. Sep 26, 2012
    ted is by far the funniest movie of all time, you have to get the comedy that Seth McFarlane writes. Anyone that hated this movie needs to develop a dirty sense of humor. This movie was 90% of the time laugh out loud funny. This movie was worth the money and i have new well earned respect for Seth McFarlane. What also is cool about this movie is that every person in this movie has been associated with Seth McFarlane in some way, like in Family Guy, American Dad or any other show he has created, but some are new. This movie will be next to impossible to top. I look forward to another movie from him. Expand
  82. Sep 20, 2012
    Ted is considered as one of the best comedy of this year. Yet again, I am finding it a little bit difficult to connect with its American style humor though. For all it
  83. Sep 12, 2012
    I'm a fan in general of the Family Guy series so I had high hopes for this, but it just never seemed to engage me. The jokes arent funny enough and the plot about the obsessed fan isnt really needed and really drags the last third of the family. There are some high spots, including an excellent fight scene and a pretty funny cameo but I found myself bored and not really enjoying the film at the halfway point. Its not crude enough to be a great shock comedy and its too risque to be an enjoyable coming of age comedy and as such falls somewhere uncomfortable between. Expand
  84. Sep 10, 2012
    Funniest movie out there, the random family guy related jokes, You guys saw this coming. Their is no reason to hate this movie. Seth macfarlane has outdone himself from the jokes which you guys had coming, and to all the people that hated it, i saw no proof in why its bad all i heard was that you just hated it, sure theirs some race make funs, but thats how its funny! Just love the jokes and dont make an argument Expand
  85. Sep 7, 2012
    Seth MacFarlane was finally allowed to go balls-out and take his vulgar, insulting, dry humor to an R-rated movie. And clearly he enjoyed it. Showing the blurry line between TV and movies these days, Ted is only slightly worse than his show, "Family Guy," tastefully speaking. "Ted" is very funny with co-star Mark Wahlberg perfectly cast as a dim-witted Bostonian trying to grow up without needing his lifelong companion, "Ted.". The premise is genius, wrapping such vulgarity around a childish fantasy, but where "Ted" goes wrong for me is that it seemed entirely too much like everything else Seth has done. Seth is obviously one of the funniest comedy writers out there, but what Seth needs to do is take some lessons from Trey Parker and Matt Stone. While Seth might be bold in his content, the delivery is always in a one-liner mode. The South Park guys deliver their vulgarity is better stories, dialogue and with an honesty that they really aren't interested in sugar-coating the insult. Seth's writing always comes across as intentionally shocking with a back-handed , "what? What did say?" attitude afterward. "Ted" was cute, very funny, but in a cowardly way. However, I can say that I'll never look at parsnips in the same way again. Expand
  86. Sep 3, 2012
    It seems that in the last few years it has become "popular" to hate Seth MacFarlane, it's sad, but true. Writers, artists and common people alike seem to either hate him or love him. Seth MacFarlane has abrand of humor you either get and appreciate or hate and loathe. I have always liked Seth MacFarlane, because his brand of humor is a lot like mine, his throught process, the way he talks and writes, I can connect to that, I understand him and that makes him even more appealing to me.

    "Ted" is about the story of a boy and his teddy bear. Wishing upon a magical Christmas star, a young man is granted a gift to bring his teddy bear to life. Starting off as a local and eventually global celebrity, Ted and his owner eventually grow up and become "adults". This story has a lot of wonderful meanings to it, as wel as a lot of fun jokes and considerations for everyone to appreciate. Don't ever give up on your inner child and never let go of your best friend, no matter what.
  87. Aug 31, 2012
    This movie was HORRIBLE. There is nothing redeeming about it, Ted sounds like Peter of the Family Guy (Macfarlane does the voice) which is irritating enough since the same tripe comes out of the bear's mouth as Peter's. I have always thought Macfarlane's modus operandi is as much shock as imagination and talent, this movie proves it. I wasn't offended but insulted that someone would try to pass off something so lazy, and at times mean spirited, as a movie. I must admit I am scratching my head over critics such as Travers over at Rolling Stone claiming it's gut bustingly isn't, it's mind bendingly banal punctuated by vulgarity. Expand
  88. Aug 29, 2012
    This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Karen wants Andy to stop lying. Why did Maggie, the mother's best friend, fall out of their seventh story apartment window? She knows her son. He's sweet. But whose footprints are those on the kitchen counter top? She needs answers. Andy tells her mother that his belated birthday gift, a Good Guy doll, is actually Charles Lee Ray, an angel who was sent down from heaven by daddy to look over him. "Chucky" for short, the man otherwise known as "The Lakeshore Strangler", is evil incarnate, and in the guise of a slightly effeminate doll, the possessed toy manipulates Andy into being his collaborator, in Tom Holland's Child's Play. What Andy really needs is a dog, but they're city dwellers, Chicagoan urbanites, living in an apartment complex that's probably not hospitable to animals. John Bennett(an only child just like Andy), on the other hand, resides in the suburbs, yet his cheap parents get him a teddy bear for Christmas, when they could easily accommodate a cute puppy for their lonely son. Lacking the wherewithal of imagination that can bring a stuffed animal to life through role-playing, John wishes for his bear to be instilled with life, just as a shooting star traverses across the dusky sky outside the Bennett household. To some, the shooting star, is a sign of good things to come, but for others, it can be representative of a fallen angel, or worse, Satan himself. The film assumes the former, and yet a case could be made for the alternative. No Hobbes, this Ted, since people can see and hear the bear, starting with John's flummoxed parents, whose reaction towards the living breathing stuffed animal is not much different from Karen's own horror when Chucky suddenly comes to life in her hands. Genres are fluid things. Mrs. Bennett compares Ted to the baby Jesus, a miracle, whereas the possession of the Good Guy doll constitutes a thaumaturgical event, the practitioning of voodoo, thereby animating the inanimate with diabolism, a curse. Similar to Chucky, the teddy bear has two voices: a canned one, devised by the toy company, and a real one, as if produced by actual vocal cords. While Chucky is a known quantity, we know next to nothing about Ted's linguistical origins. Who is he, really? When Charles Ray performs the same translocating spell at the Barclay apartment as the one at the toy store, the loci of power that hovers over Andy is distinguished by a fulmination from the heavens, making them "thunder buddies", just like John and Ted, who hide under the covers from the inclement weather as children. In a sense, they're hiding from God. Years later, during a fight, after John calls his best friend "Teddy Ruxpin"(a sort of slur), the first thing that Ted does is grab a Gideon Bible from the motel drawer, and flings it at the thirty-something burnout, who blames the bear for his girlfriend calling it quits. Later, when John and Lori reconcile, they get married at a pagan church, a quasi-religious ceremony based on the teachings of Flash Gordon, with Sam J. Jones residing. Happy ending notwithstanding, Ted is the root cause of John's extended adolescence; his slacker lifestyle, an evocation of the idiom "the devil finds work for idle hands". At 35, John has a dead end job at a car rental agency, and spends most of his free time on the sofa, getting stoned and watching bad movies with Ted. But things could be worse. Like Hellboy, the star of the Gullimero del Toro films, Ted fell in the right hands, in which kindness helped nurture win the fight over nature, and tempered the inherent wickedness of the monster. The filmmaker, intentional or not, accentuates the bear's position as a surrogate dog, when the short-lived celebrity, bristling over having to find menial work, says: "This is how the cast of Different Strokes feel every hour." Julie Sawyer, a struggling actress in Samuel Fuller's White Dog, loses a role to Laura Drummond, whose last name, of course, is the same as the father who adopts Willis and Arnold. Easily Ted could have taken to hate crimes, along the lines of Julie's German shepherd, a "white dog", or rather, an attack dog, specially trained to kill black people. Donny, the stalker who kidnaps Ted, has the potential of undoing the bear's sound upbringing, thereby intensifying the racist disposition the stuffed animal has towards Latinos into action. At a drug-fueled party, the stoned pair talk about opening an Italian restaurant, an exclusive one, if Ted has his way. While the bear concedes to permitting Jews as patrons, he draws the line on Mexicans. A misogynist, too, Ted displays a particular hatred for the local women. In that aforementioned fight with John, the comic tone of their no holds barred brawl obscures Ted's intent to kill John. His disrespect for the "good book" reveals the latent devil inside. Without the counterbalancing effect of love, Ted could have become a "brown bear", or perhaps, "The Boston Strangler". Expand
  89. Aug 24, 2012
    It was a funny film in places and a little bit serious in others. Very similar to Family Guy in style but not in quality. The TV show is leagues ahead of this film. Could have been better but could have been a lot worse. Worth a viewing, especially if you are up to date with some 80s knowledge.
  90. Aug 20, 2012
    Not intended for the faint hearted, Ted is without a doubt an instant comedy classic, it takes the cliche family movie and flips it on it's head, taking the various talents at adult cartoon creator Seth Macfarlane's disposal and rolling them together for a showcase of his comedic ability.
    Ted is a stoner movie at heart, with our introduction to Ted being his diluted eyeballs as he
    breathes through a bong, this is sure to astound and offend few, while the rest of the audience is doubled in laughter. Expand
  91. Aug 14, 2012
    I know I'm behind the times but just back from seeing Ted. Have to say I really enjoyed it even though Seth Macfarlane isn't normally my kind of thing. I like Family Guy but wouldn't say I love it. However even though Ted has the same crass humour it has real heart as well. Some real wet yourself moments and great cameos especially Ryan Reynolds. If you want a light hearted night at the cinema well worth a watch. Expand
  92. Aug 14, 2012
    you can tell that seth macfalane made this from some of the cast down to his style of comedy i knew that this was going to be a good film hope a sequel comes out soon if not maybe put ted in family guy as a guest or even a little nod in one of those random scenes that has somthing to do with what one of the charecters said anyways watch this movie family guy fans you wont regret it
  93. Aug 12, 2012
    If you remotely like any of Seth MacFarlane's earlier work then you will love this film. Firstly, I don't think Ted could have been cast any better. Of course they used most of the family guy characters as actors in the film and it works really well, not only is it relate-able it's hilarious. The script is rich in one-liners and hooks that keep the pace of the comedy at a perfect pace that seem to flow effortlessly through a good, solid story line. It's not genre defining, it's generic as hell. But it doesn't matter. It's slathered in enough hilarity that you simply don't care about the story. I don't really have any negative criticism for the film, the only thing I can suggest to anyone thinking about going to watch the film - don't go in expecting anything more than a comedy. It does what it says on the tin and it's hilarious. Expand
  94. Aug 11, 2012
    As a fan of Family Guy and American Dad I had quite expectations for Ted, even if I knew that it would be just another movie with not-at-all-new jokes a 13-year old would laugh his *** off. The only thing that was new about it was the bear. The things that make a comedy movie (the jokes and the dialogues) were so damn old. How is it possible that there is no real comedy anymore in cinemas. Only these premature jokes about sex and drugs. The only comedy movies that the actual opposite target audience likes are Scary Movie-films, American Pie, The Dictator, Ted, ... .
    This movie was clearly made for teens, even though it's rated R.
  95. Aug 10, 2012
    Downright hilarious and offensive, with surprising heart, we've come to suspect nothing less from Seth McFarlane. However, the film is heavy on exposition and low on plot, leading to an unnecessary dragging feeling in spots.
  96. Aug 8, 2012
    'Ted' is not only about the guy and his friendship with the teddy bear. Additionally it's also a love story between the guy and the girl. Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis are a sweet couple, but their relationship is just fake and you notice that in every second they're together on the screen. The movie fails in every second it tries to be more than dumb comedy. BUT: 'Ted' is extremely funny! I can't remember me laughing my ass off so hard like when seeing this movie! Ted, the narrator and some supporting actors are really funny, Wahlberg and Kunis are just disappointing. Expand

Generally favorable reviews - based on 37 Critics

Critic score distribution:
  1. Positive: 21 out of 37
  2. Negative: 3 out of 37
  1. Reviewed by: Tony Horkins
    Jul 23, 2012
    A fabulous first live-action effort, combining R-rated hilarity with skilled storytelling as it slips some real heart into the stuffing of a toy bear.
  2. Reviewed by: Steve Persall
    Jul 1, 2012
    It's often convulsively funny.
  3. Reviewed by: Andrew O'Hehir
    Jul 1, 2012
    In a universe of Hollywood comedies that seem determined to insult the audience and pander to the basest form of post-adolescent fantasy, Ted feels almost sophisticated.