Ted

Universal Pictures | Release Date: June 29, 2012
7.0
USER SCORE
Generally favorable reviews based on 763 Ratings
USER RATING DISTRIBUTION
Positive:
509
Mixed:
185
Negative:
69
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4
mrmdeeJan 21, 2013
Ted is an homage to old, tired jokes and an attempt to shock its audience into liking the movie. Just like Seth McFarlane's completely unoriginal Family Guy, Ted dares its critics to lambast the movie and when they do, they are accused ofTed is an homage to old, tired jokes and an attempt to shock its audience into liking the movie. Just like Seth McFarlane's completely unoriginal Family Guy, Ted dares its critics to lambast the movie and when they do, they are accused of being "unhip" or "too sensitive." I saw this movie in the summer and enjoyed the first ten minutes of the movie, when it maintained some sense of originality. Then it devolved into an hour and a half Family Guy or American Dad episode. Each joke less memorable than the one before it. Throughout the movie I couldn't help but feel sorry for Mila Kunis. (Maybe McFarlane has something on her and blackmailed her into starring?) And Mark Wahlberg played a completely unlikable loser. You don't want him to get the girl. Teenagers and 10-year-old boys will enjoy this movie because they enjoy anything that is crass. It makes them feel older and more powerful. Maybe that's what McFarlane's motivation behind his work is? Expand
4 of 4 users found this helpful40
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5
Andys_ReviewsMay 6, 2013
So, was it worth my while investing 106 minutes of my life on this one? I have to say, on balance; not really. Yes there are some wonderfully comic moments and smart one-liners in there but I did find it drifted far too much from the sublimeSo, was it worth my while investing 106 minutes of my life on this one? I have to say, on balance; not really. Yes there are some wonderfully comic moments and smart one-liners in there but I did find it drifted far too much from the sublime to the ridiculous. Also, one minute Ted is ‘Brian’ for Family Guy and the next he turns into ‘Peter Griffin’ from the same show (despite his denials). I thought both Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis did a good job; both of their characters were quite believable. Ultimately though I did find it lacked the one thing it so desperately needed; heart. Still, I’m sure the many devotees of ‘Family Guy’ will love this one but for me, sadly, it’s a bit of a dud.

SteelMonster’s verdict: NOT RECOMMENDED (…unless you’re a really big fan of Family Guy, in which case why haven’t you seen it yet!)

My score: 5.3/10
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1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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4
BunnyJan 25, 2013
The only thing 'shocking' about this movie is how lazy the writing is. Some good moments here, including a really funny bit part played by Joel McHale. Mila Kunis and Mark Wahlberg are good but they cannot carry a poor movie with a boringThe only thing 'shocking' about this movie is how lazy the writing is. Some good moments here, including a really funny bit part played by Joel McHale. Mila Kunis and Mark Wahlberg are good but they cannot carry a poor movie with a boring plot and weak jokes. The humour was base, unoriginal and just lame. If you're into racist stereotypes and fart jokes, this movie is for you. Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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6
nightblade00Feb 13, 2013
If you are a fan of Family or Judd Apatow films you will be entertained by this one. However, if you are looking for comedy gold, you should probably look elsewhere. Best enjoyed with a group of guys at least 3-4 drinks in when you turn it on.
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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4
csw12Feb 16, 2013
Ted is nothing more than a juvenile film with crude and mostly unfunny sex jokes. The movie is over the top punctuated by a few bright spots here and there. It seemed like Seth MacFarlane wrote down any stupid joke that came to mind and threwTed is nothing more than a juvenile film with crude and mostly unfunny sex jokes. The movie is over the top punctuated by a few bright spots here and there. It seemed like Seth MacFarlane wrote down any stupid joke that came to mind and threw it all together. Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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4
reddave2Sep 12, 2012
I'm a fan in general of the Family Guy series so I had high hopes for this, but it just never seemed to engage me. The jokes arent funny enough and the plot about the obsessed fan isnt really needed and really drags the last third of theI'm a fan in general of the Family Guy series so I had high hopes for this, but it just never seemed to engage me. The jokes arent funny enough and the plot about the obsessed fan isnt really needed and really drags the last third of the family. There are some high spots, including an excellent fight scene and a pretty funny cameo but I found myself bored and not really enjoying the film at the halfway point. Its not crude enough to be a great shock comedy and its too risque to be an enjoyable coming of age comedy and as such falls somewhere uncomfortable between. Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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4
EittenneJul 15, 2012
This movie started out well and was funny initially. It, however , dropped off 3/4 of the way through. Had to wade through the last 20 minutes.Mark Walberg did a fine job of being a bachelor that refuses to grow up with Mila Kunis being hisThis movie started out well and was funny initially. It, however , dropped off 3/4 of the way through. Had to wade through the last 20 minutes.Mark Walberg did a fine job of being a bachelor that refuses to grow up with Mila Kunis being his faithful GF trying to make him face a reality of life. Had high hopes for it from the trailers but left disappointed in the result. Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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5
arthur1nowApr 6, 2015
Un film moyen avec des personnages plutôt drôles mais ce sont les enchainement de "gags" qui sont selon moins en dessous. Dommage. Un film sans plus.
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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5
dz9Jul 17, 2012
All I heard from this movie was "If you love Family Guy you'll love this," Family Guy being one of my favorite shows, I thought I would have a riot with Ted... but I was deeply disappointed. The main problem with Ted is that it recycles aAll I heard from this movie was "If you love Family Guy you'll love this," Family Guy being one of my favorite shows, I thought I would have a riot with Ted... but I was deeply disappointed. The main problem with Ted is that it recycles a lot of its own jokes and it relies way too heavily on toilet humor. Seeing hooker excrement just isnt that funny. The jokes aren't all bad though, there are definitely a few instances of Seth McFarlane's comedic genius with his pop culture references and parodies, but these were too few and too far apart. Another problem of the movie is its premise of a talking teddy bear.. I was "on board" with it at first, but the finale of the movie reversed the mythos and just made it seem silly and not well-thought out at all. But to the movies strengths; Mila Kunis and Mark Wahlberg were great together and a lot of the cameos did great. In the End: This feels like every other Seth McFarlane project that isn't Family Guy. It's forgettable and stupid with barely any laughs and you wish you were just watching Family Guy instead. Expand
6 of 7 users found this helpful61
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4
ORidenourJul 17, 2012
This movie is just an excuse for seth mcfarlane to get an uncensored version of family guy. He brought nothing new to the comedy scene and didn't even make an attempt to change his voice acting from the mainstream family guy stuff, that saidThis movie is just an excuse for seth mcfarlane to get an uncensored version of family guy. He brought nothing new to the comedy scene and didn't even make an attempt to change his voice acting from the mainstream family guy stuff, that said this could have been a great movie... if seth mcfarlane hadn't been the voice actor for one of the main characters and if he had tried to bring something new to the table instead of just reusing his same old worn out brand of humor Expand
4 of 5 users found this helpful41
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5
mdm389Jul 13, 2012
The first half is hilarious, but the movie quickly tailspins into a cliche Bromance flick in the second half, devoid of any real humor or intrigue. The difference between the two halves magnifies the latter's shortcomings even more. It's aThe first half is hilarious, but the movie quickly tailspins into a cliche Bromance flick in the second half, devoid of any real humor or intrigue. The difference between the two halves magnifies the latter's shortcomings even more. It's a shame, too, as the idea of a magical toy coming to life but never going away had so much more potential this. McFarlane's racist for the sake of being racist jokes ("look how edgy I am making jokes about Asians butchering chickens and owning gongs!") are simply stupid and not at all funny, and the fact that you are never for a moment unsure of what's happening next ruins the film's appeal.

Worth a rental, not worth a $10 theatre ticket.
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4 of 5 users found this helpful41
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5
Psyco6Jul 13, 2012
This movie is like a family guy movie. The jokes are mostly 80's references or about pop culture,and seth even throws in a few jokes about Jews, Muslims,and Mexicans. The best part about this movie is Mila and Mark since they are the bestThis movie is like a family guy movie. The jokes are mostly 80's references or about pop culture,and seth even throws in a few jokes about Jews, Muslims,and Mexicans. The best part about this movie is Mila and Mark since they are the best actors in the movie. A few parts in the movie were funny,but a lot of the jokes were pretty dry and it something that is poorly written. So if you like the way family guy has been going then you'll like this movie. If you are expecting a funny movie that has good jokes them save your money. Expand
3 of 4 users found this helpful31
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6
barnabyjon3sJul 3, 2012
An average comedy with worn out jokes. If you are a fan of family guy and hoping to enjoy new jokes and an interesting plot don't waste your time. With the price of tickets and the other movies in theaters right now I honestly can't recommendAn average comedy with worn out jokes. If you are a fan of family guy and hoping to enjoy new jokes and an interesting plot don't waste your time. With the price of tickets and the other movies in theaters right now I honestly can't recommend seeing this. You have heard the jokes before and the fact that Ted is a Teddy bear wears off quickly. Ryan Reynolds gave a couple of laughs but that was about the only thing that sent the theater into an uproar. I was expecting better. It wasn't a terrible movie. It was entertaining but I would wait to torrent/rent/Netflix this movie. Expand
3 of 4 users found this helpful31
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6
FDT44Jun 30, 2012
While Ted, the self-titled protagonist, may look like the adorably soft and cuddly, ursine-childhood-friend, such conventions are bound to be tested by "Family Guy" creator and first time director Seth MacFarlane, whose multifaceted voiceWhile Ted, the self-titled protagonist, may look like the adorably soft and cuddly, ursine-childhood-friend, such conventions are bound to be tested by "Family Guy" creator and first time director Seth MacFarlane, whose multifaceted voice work merely drives his twisted, at times abominably offensive material. Don't ask how the controversially animated show has run for some 13 years, but it might have to do with saying what others dare not; rest assured, audiences can expect the same bold-faced audacity in his directorial debut, an intriguing blend of live action and CG technology, "Ted." This "romance versus bromance" amalgam, is centrally premised around the wish one lonely boy makes one Christmas evening in hopes of transmuting his furry teddy bear into real-life companion; sound familiar? Pinocchio, perhaps? So, as anticipated, the following morning sees once-friendless John Bennett, granted with the wish of his dreams, and the start of what will become a life of Peter-Pan syndrome; only we're talking about something more potent than pixie dust. Hence, the first scene of real-time, where now-35-year-old John (Wahlberg) is shown taking a bong hit with his peer-pressurer teddy bear, now wearing a hirsute coat laden with subtle stains and tears, and complaining to John about how he needs to talk to his "weed-guy" about the activeness of his current supply of grass. It's all so funny at first, seeing a stoner in the guise of what has long been considered the staple of puerile comfort and security. But, MacFarlane lives to obliterate long-standing conceptions, especially mores. Aside from some one-liners that don't quite stick, seemingly procrastinate editing (some scenes feel as if they were indecisively cut), and a slightly unbalanced script, the high-concept comedy is fitting, serving its purpose--riotous Friday night laugh-out-louds--and satisfying audiences. Only, after a while, and some brain-dead lapses in logic (how can a soft, fuzzy teddy bear, stuffed with weightless filler, subdue a grown man, Wahlberg, punching, bashing, and spanking him, while being unable later, to defend himself against an obese pre-adolescent boy?) Ted,no longer possesses the same shocking affectation he laid onto audiences in the film's first hour. It is as if Ted is no longer a teddy bear, thanks to MacFarlane's resonant voice work, and the plot's direction follows too much the formula paved from movies like "Knocked Up," that star a man wanting to remain a nonconstructive element in society, resorting back, time and time again to smoking pot, besotting oneself, and acting like a buffoon amidst life-changing circumstances. Moreover, until the audience sees Ted do something they haven't seen before--the opening bong-couch-scene had already set the bar so high--it might as well be Seth Rogen himself on that couch; the same mystical feeling of watching a fluffy childhood toy become high and talking with a potty-mouth only lasts so long. So, when John's commitment-seeking girlfriend, Lori, (Mila Kunis) is irritated by Ted's incessant urging of his "Thunder-Buddy" John to join him in his life of profanity, she confronts John, presenting him, indirectly, with the ultimatum of "bear or girl." This too, see "I Love You, Man," feels borrowed, and sets up John's "just give me one last chance, Lori" where he, following the design, will find a way to break his promise, and where Lori's egotistically sleazy, and forward boss (Joel McHale) chimes in. And, after the relationship with Lori is halted, Ted is surely going to wind up in trouble, too, right? You guessed it, enter Giovanni Ribisi. But, in a macro sense, "Ted," is undoubtedly hilarious in parts, and with the combination of MacFarlane's expressiveness of voice and the CG-animated, Ted is a character one can only root for, regardless of how ribald he really is. The soundtrack is charmingly, as well as deliberately cliché, but it successfully bolsters MacFarlane's self-mockery and recurring hilarity with the far-from-kiddy-Ted. Moreover, Wahlberg (feeling comfortable in his Boston hood) and Kunis (underused as usual) do a fair job at delineating the on-the-edge couple (albeit the real feat is in acting with a voided-CG-animated Ted). And, Patrick Warburton's (Guy) impassive, basso-profundo-gruff-sounding-self is aptly humorous. As for the peculiar love triangle between Ted, John, and their hero Sam Jones, the vaguely remembered 'Gordon' star won't pacify most of its intended audience, and feels patched together. Likewise, the film's third act, which clumsily throws in some peril to regain some faltering sympathies, looks and feels forced. Ultimately, "Ted" is unduly and deliberately offensive, stuffed with taboo and sacrilege, a tinge of sentimental relish, clumps of aimless fluff, loose strings, and an irrelevance sewn with a real, bearing heart. Expand
2 of 4 users found this helpful22
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4
jsp41Jun 29, 2012
Ted is a funny movie, but can fall flat at times. Wahlberg and Kunis are likeable, but Ted himself is beautifully rendered, and is freaking hilarious. It can fall into a lot of comedy cliches, but is a very funny, original project that letsTed is a funny movie, but can fall flat at times. Wahlberg and Kunis are likeable, but Ted himself is beautifully rendered, and is freaking hilarious. It can fall into a lot of comedy cliches, but is a very funny, original project that lets you care. It drags on at times, but overall a solid summer comedy. Expand
2 of 4 users found this helpful22
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6
keltariJul 3, 2012
One expects a certain type of humor from Seth MacFarlane, and he does deliver... just not enough. If you expect to be laughing the entire time through this movie, you will be disappointed. Its essentially a buddy movie/love story you'veOne expects a certain type of humor from Seth MacFarlane, and he does deliver... just not enough. If you expect to be laughing the entire time through this movie, you will be disappointed. Its essentially a buddy movie/love story you've seen 1000 times before. Ted himself is rather superfluous, you could replace his character with a person change a few lines of the movie and you wouldn't know it was originally written for a teddy bear. Expand
2 of 4 users found this helpful22
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6
MrTexasJul 4, 2012
While it was funny to a point, I could have just watched a few episodes of Family Guy and got the same exact material. It was built up way too much and like a lot of movies, the previews showed just about all the funny parts. I would stillWhile it was funny to a point, I could have just watched a few episodes of Family Guy and got the same exact material. It was built up way too much and like a lot of movies, the previews showed just about all the funny parts. I would still recommend it though for anyone that enjoys McFarlene's TV shows Expand
2 of 4 users found this helpful22
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6
theofficeJul 8, 2012
The movie is pretty good. It has the humor of later "Family Guy" episodes mainly filled with one-liners and using drugs and sex to make jokes (which honestly isn't that funny). I think examples of fantastic comedy's are "Anchorman", "TheThe movie is pretty good. It has the humor of later "Family Guy" episodes mainly filled with one-liners and using drugs and sex to make jokes (which honestly isn't that funny). I think examples of fantastic comedy's are "Anchorman", "The Other Guys", and TV shows like "Seinfeld" and "The Office". Those comedy's all use humorous situations and other comedic tools rather than simple one-liners like Ted. However, the movie is still worth seeing because the story is interesting and I did laugh several times, even though only briefly. I do think they focused a little too much on the love-story aspect with Kunis (who wasn't funny) which ended up taking away from the comedic aspect. Expand
1 of 2 users found this helpful11
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5
SantiagoMAKiiNAJul 8, 2012
I've been a fan of the Family Guy for a while now. Not like I rush to the TV to watch every episode. But when I do catch it usually makes me laugh. The same effect applies to Seth MacFarlane's first directorial effort. The laughs areI've been a fan of the Family Guy for a while now. Not like I rush to the TV to watch every episode. But when I do catch it usually makes me laugh. The same effect applies to Seth MacFarlane's first directorial effort. The laughs are there...when you get to them. On occasion but not on a consistent basis.
The film was entertaining and I did have a few good laughs. Unfortunately most of them were already in the trailer, so there wasn't much surprise. The plot seemed to drag a bit and it was beyond predictable. When the movie was over, half the theater stretched their arms and stood up with pause. So, obviously, I wasn't the only one that felt the pace left something to be desired.
The digital teddy bear was incredibly well executed, and all the actors performed their parts perfectly. But since we are in the year 2012 and we have all seen our fare share of believable digital characters, a movie needs more than a stuffed animal as a gimmick.
My advice, if you got nothing better to do, are close to a movie theater, and you are not looking to fall off your chair laughing, then go see this one. It'll suffice. But if you wanna cry your heart out, there are far better choices in any online film library. Either way, this movie won't disappoint you.
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1 of 2 users found this helpful11
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4
CruztyLipzJul 2, 2012
In my honest opinion, I had expected more out of Seth. It just feels like he does more effort on family guy, than what he did on Ted. Would I pay again to see the movie? More than likely not. Would I get it on DVD? Yes, but I would only watchIn my honest opinion, I had expected more out of Seth. It just feels like he does more effort on family guy, than what he did on Ted. Would I pay again to see the movie? More than likely not. Would I get it on DVD? Yes, but I would only watch it if other friends have not seen it and we could all "try" to laugh together. Expand
1 of 2 users found this helpful11
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6
JTKelleyAug 10, 2012
Downright hilarious and offensive, with surprising heart, we've come to suspect nothing less from Seth McFarlane. However, the film is heavy on exposition and low on plot, leading to an unnecessary dragging feeling in spots.
1 of 2 users found this helpful11
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4
ziff70Jul 2, 2012
Has a few funny sections, but overall lazy humor that depends on jokes about bodily functions and things a 12 year old boy might find funny. If you like that type of thing than check in out. Clever idea, and had a lot of potential, butHas a few funny sections, but overall lazy humor that depends on jokes about bodily functions and things a 12 year old boy might find funny. If you like that type of thing than check in out. Clever idea, and had a lot of potential, but ultimately was just a raunchier version of Family Guy, only not as good. Expand
6 of 13 users found this helpful67
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5
supersigyJul 2, 2012
I was anticipating a roller-coaster of laugh out loud and cringe worthy in steady intervals. Instead Ted really just glides at average speeds. Nothing was absurd or unbearable but nothing was all that funny either. The trailers ruined a goodI was anticipating a roller-coaster of laugh out loud and cringe worthy in steady intervals. Instead Ted really just glides at average speeds. Nothing was absurd or unbearable but nothing was all that funny either. The trailers ruined a good amount of the better material. Expand
2 of 5 users found this helpful23
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6
wvmoviefanJul 1, 2012
Great concept and visuals with the bear, itself. Mark Wahlberg was excellent. The problem with the film is Seth MacFarlen, himself. He doesn't know when to pull back! The flatulence jokes and I'm gay/not gay references are overdone andGreat concept and visuals with the bear, itself. Mark Wahlberg was excellent. The problem with the film is Seth MacFarlen, himself. He doesn't know when to pull back! The flatulence jokes and I'm gay/not gay references are overdone and the segment about the "droppings" on the floor goes beyond vulgar.
Those sections might appeal to those 12 and under but MacFarlen's talents are considerable and he needs to aim for audiences that appreciate the adult nature of cartoon life.
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5
RikiegeDec 7, 2012
Movie bad but entertaining ...
2 of 5 users found this helpful23
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5
BKMJan 17, 2013
MacFarlane is a genuinely talented and funny guy, but Ted too often feels like an episode of Family Guy stretched far too thin. There's plenty of pop cultural references, 80's nostalgia, crude humor and inside jokes but for the most partyMacFarlane is a genuinely talented and funny guy, but Ted too often feels like an episode of Family Guy stretched far too thin. There's plenty of pop cultural references, 80's nostalgia, crude humor and inside jokes but for the most party they don't feel particularly original or funny. You get the sense that there's a truly uproarious 30 minute short film trying to break free from this overstuffed story. Expand
0 of 1 users found this helpful01
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5
LevelSevenFeb 14, 2013
Ted is a decent movie at best, and I mean at the very best. I don't really like Seth's cartoons such as family guy but decided to give this a chance. I didn't really see why everyone thought this was so funny. I only had a few laugh out loudTed is a decent movie at best, and I mean at the very best. I don't really like Seth's cartoons such as family guy but decided to give this a chance. I didn't really see why everyone thought this was so funny. I only had a few laugh out loud moments and that was near the end of the movie. The beginning and middle aren't that good but they ramp it up at the end. Don't bother buying this movie. It isn't a must watch either. I can't really recommend this to anyone but hardcore family guy fans. Expand
0 of 1 users found this helpful01
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6
ExKingApr 5, 2013
i love Mark Wahlberg movies. all of them -well not all of them Max Payne was terrible. but any way i think that Ted is a good movie but the real question is is it a great comedy movie well No i think that the jokes should be better andi love Mark Wahlberg movies. all of them -well not all of them Max Payne was terrible. but any way i think that Ted is a good movie but the real question is is it a great comedy movie well No i think that the jokes should be better and much more since we have this great character Ted in the movie and i don't know why but i actually felt half-empty after finishing this movie as a comedy movie fan i thought this movie gonna fill me up. but unfortunately it didn't but that doesn't mean i didn't enjoy it but i think it would be a lot lot better if more jokes and more effort were putting into it. Expand
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4
DualRadiusJul 8, 2012
Wife and I like a raunchy funny movie just like most. Ted provides some good laughs, is a decent story, ans Giovanni ribisi was flat-out hysterical! That all said, I wouldn't go with high expectations, and children should not be seeing Ted!
0 of 0 users found this helpful00
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6
TokyochuchuJan 25, 2014
Ted is a funny, crude comedy from the creator of Family Guy. It's funny by default to see a foul mouthed, bear drinking live action teddy bear by default. There are a whole bunch of laugh out loud moments. That said, Ted hits rockier groundTed is a funny, crude comedy from the creator of Family Guy. It's funny by default to see a foul mouthed, bear drinking live action teddy bear by default. There are a whole bunch of laugh out loud moments. That said, Ted hits rockier ground in the final third, with the emotional scenes failing to take flight. Expand
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