Austin Chronicle's Scores

For 4,879 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 37% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 61% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 7.6 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 54
Highest review score: 100 Pan's Labyrinth
Lowest review score: 0 Code Name: The Cleaner
Score distribution:
4,879 movie reviews
  1. Drivel of the purest ray serene.
  2. This biting parody of flyover-state beauty contests feels like a bad made-for-TV movie of the week.
  3. Where the hell are those Hollywood Ninja Assassins when you really need 'em?
  4. Shoddy craftsmanship and uninteresting subjects (it's amazing how tedious some conversations can be when there's no one to put words in the subjects' mouths) sink this spring-break movie faster than an outbreak of Leginnaires’ disease on a vacation cruise liner.
  5. The story is so shabbily built that it can make no valid claim to motives other than the filmmakers' mercenary desires to cash in on the public's prurient interests. And even on this bottom-feeder level, Showgirls fails to deliver the goods.
  6. By film's end I was fantasizing that Peter Stormare would drop by with his "Fargo" wood-chipper in tow, but it was not to be. Appalling.
  7. Cody Banks would probably be appropriate for the 13-and-older crowd, but it’s far too dopey for teenage sophisticates.
  8. Unforgivably tedious tale.
  9. What can you say about a movie that includes its outtake bloopers reel before the closing credits?
  10. This is strictly dull chuckles from dull wits, and while there are a few genuine laughs to be found amidst the dross, they’re as rare as Francophiles in Crawford, Texas.
  11. Green, who looks like a chinless, hollow-eyed pederast at the best of times, is simply out of his league here, and the fact that the film drags interminably when it's actually a very average 90 minutes long betrays its essential emptiness.
  12. Camp has also been compared to Alan Parker’s "Fame," which operates with a similar love of behind-the-scenes melodrama and youthful idealism, but different in that it doesn’t induce brain-swelling revulsion in the viewer.
  13. Not only is the franchise growing hoary, by now it's become downright laughable, leaving Lethal Weapon 4 feeling more like a bad Fox sitcom than anything else.
  14. It’s cheese of the purest stripe, bafflingly bad to the point of being oddly charming in its brain dead naïveté.
  15. For masochists only, and hardcore ones at that.
  16. Packs all the spine-tingling punch of a soggy bag of mulch.
  17. If Never Die Alone had even a smidgeon of comic relief (or even, say, a bunch of zombies) to offset some of its relentlessly downbeat brutality, it might have been at best tolerable. But it doesn't, and it's not.
  18. You want REAL terror? If this second outing proves profitable, we'll be looking at Yet Again I Recall the Summer Before the Summer Before Last. Now that's scary.
  19. The Punisher is such a bad film that it becomes inadvertently entertaining; it’s enough to make you pine for the original version of the black-clad Marvel Comics’ badass, played to awful imperfection in 1989 by Dolph Lundgren.
  20. The kind of winking, disingenuous youth comedy that tries to play it both ways, dangling the twins as fetish objects and then yanking them back on the leash because, you know, this is a family film.
  21. Excruciating in the extreme, this is the nadir of urban comedies thus far: a trashy, crass, and painfully unfunny airline disaster of a film.
  22. Audiences may find this pap brimming with heart and sympathy for the little guy, but as prescriptions go, Patch Adams is pure placebo.
  23. You'd have to be a real a..hole to hate this movie, loaded as it is with adorable animals. Sadly the task falls to me.
  24. All the advance signs looked discouraging, but I still kept thinking: How bad could a comedy starring Eddie Murphy and Jeff Goldblum really be? Well, let's put it this way … you won't ever hear me asking that particular question again.
  25. Utterly devoid of merit, fantastic or otherwise, a more exasperating descent into the feline world is difficult to imagine.
  26. It’s a lot like hearing the play-by-play account of a heated game of bridge. Only not half as gripping.
  27. This is a movie that should have bypassed the theatres and gone straight to DVD. It is offensive on so many levels.
  28. Her mortal story seems one of sadness rather than inspiration.
  29. Very nearly as entertaining as watching a potato bake.
  30. Nearly as much fun as a case of scabies, Beverly Hills Ninja transports the viewer into a mystical realm where pratfall is king and mediocrity is its own reward.

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