What makes COP: The Recruit a lackluster game is that it comes late to the party. If this game came out 10 years ago on the Nintendo 64 and before high expectations were set for gritty crime games, then maybe it could’ve been a decent game, possibly even a good game. But with open-city action titles like Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars, this game just can’t compare.

Command & Conquer 4 is atrocious, end of story.

I played this game by myself and didn't like it. I played it with friends and they didn't like it. I played it with kids, and even they didn't like it (and kids will play anything).

As cute and as endearing as Squeeballs tries to be, it just never hits the mark.

If you want a detective story that's told in an interesting and thoughtful fashion, there's always Phoenix Wright and Sam & Max. The folks on Baker Street just ain't what it used to be.

The loot isn't game-changing, the plot is bare-bones, and the story-building basically nonexistent. Unless you absolutely need to possess Cailan's sweet golden shoulderpads, stop your plans to Return to Ostagar and turn straight back.

You'd have to be the hardest of the hardcore to play Resonance of Fate through to the end (or an intern at Game Revolution). It is violently unruly and complex in its battle systems and structure. I'm sure there are plenty of masochists out there in the RPG community, but Resonance of Fate exudes punishment in spades.

You'd have to be the hardest of the hardcore to play Resonance of Fate through to the end (or an intern at Game Revolution). It is violently unruly and complex in its battle systems and structure. I'm sure there are plenty of masochists out there in the RPG community, but Resonance of Fate exudes punishment in spades.

It was a chore to finish the slim four-hour campaign, and if I weren't reviewing it, I would have tossed the disc-along with more than a few controllers-through my window in frustration within the first hour.

If you are trying to ween a GF (or BF, never let it be said GR isn't progressive) on to modern consoles, this could be a great stepping stone, as the gameplay and graphics are just as simple as they were back in the day. But if you're a hardcore, experienced gamer, you may want to skip Blade Kitten in favor of playing with other pussycats.

If you are trying to ween a GF (or BF, never let it be said GR isn't progressive) on to modern consoles, this could be a great stepping stone, as the gameplay and graphics are just as simple as they were back in the day. But if you're a hardcore, experienced gamer, you may want to skip Blade Kitten in favor of playing with other pussycats.

If you are trying to ween a GF (or BF, never let it be said GR isn't progressive) on to modern consoles, this could be a great stepping stone, as the gameplay and graphics are just as simple as they were back in the day. But if you're a hardcore, experienced gamer, you may want to skip Blade Kitten in favor of playing with other pussycats.

Hydrophobia is just a Titanic of a shipwreck.

It's a travesty to release an already mediocre game before ironing out all the kinks in its broken interface and having enough content to keep it interesting. It honestly feels like the PC version is just the beta test for next year's PS3 version.

If you have children, they'll be delighted, but if you're over the age of twelve, the party will decidedly end the moment you put this game in the disc drive.

Controls, rather, your body is wonky.

No tension anywhere.

No tension anywhere.

The Kinect might be going through something similar to what the Wii went through early on, but hopefully it gets through the growing pains... this one's gotta hurt.

But beyond the novelty factor and that one Clapton song, there's not much to Power Gig: Rise of the Six String.

But beyond the novelty factor and that one Clapton song, there's not much to Power Gig: Rise of the Six String.

Completely skippable.

There are better alternatives out there for customized music experiences. Rhythm Zone just misses the tune so bad. Even the name is misleading; there's hardly any rhythm to be found.

Invizimals really wants to be Pokémon, but takes away everything that was great about it.

Combine the fact the game just isn't engaging with the same four or five environments for battles, the constant flow of graphical glitches and the bland dialog between characters, and I have no idea why anyone thought this would be a good game.

Ultimately, Danger Girl's only selling points, T and A (Tits and Action), can only reliably be found on the cover of the instruction booklet, which can easily be viewed without paying fifty bucks. I advise getting your porn elsewhere.

A forgettable racer with all the depth of a shallow puddle, better suited for a rental than a purchase. It's more a footnote to the Need for Speed series than a chapter in itself.

may not be the World's Worst Game, but it's still a waste of time on Thursday night. Man, why couldn't they have made "When Animals Attack" instead?

If anyone should avoid this game, it should be the hardcore ECW fan as they will be the most outraged.

The graphics are old, NPC riders aren't very fun to race against, the maps are dumb and the camera's a joke.

A weak fighting system and more disappointments than Mike Tyson lead to one of the worst brawlers I've seen in a while.

There really isn't much here beyond a half-decent fighting engine and the entertaining rag-doll physics.

Street Hoops tries to capture the sensationalized style of hardcore playground ball, but only manages to come off as a weak, thinly veiled copycat.

Operation Flashpoint: Elite is simply an old, crippled vet that should have been left to its episodes of Judge Judy and servings of lime Jell-O in the gaming retirement home.

McQueen truly is “The Cooler King” in more ways than one, which only makes his half-assed showing in this half-assed game a full-fledged bummer. Skip this disaster and rent "The Towering Inferno" instead.

Fans of Backyard Wrestling may want to try this game out, but then again, they might have more fun with a blowtorch and video camera. Lord knows I would.

L.A. Rush tries to keep up with the street racing scene, but it's all show and no go. Repeating races over and over isn't exactly a draw and the lack of customization is unforgivable.

Inarguably, it's a sucky game. Once you've taken Marvel Nemesis through its paces, you'll pierce its glinty armor with your newfound eye beams of license abuse and try to toss it into the local penitentiary for the rest of its unnatural born life.

True Crime: New York City replicates the over-the-top violence and goofy sexuality of GTA, but trashes that series' friendly interface, gorgeous environment, and dependable physics. If there's a lesson to be learned here, it's that what made GTA so enjoyable weren't the mature themes, but the execution.

Other than a ton of moves, this baller has zero street cred.

A better option is to stay in that comfy office chair and check out the thousands of free poker games on the Internet, most of which have a slicker presentation and interface, anyway.

Except for a few clever puzzles, a strong story, and a handful of pretty pictures, this licensed mess is mostly a failure.

Crusty Demons is a pretty bad game, folks, one that blindly robs from plenty of better games and only avoids the GR toilet because it lets you hurt yourself a lot.

If you’re going to go after a licensed act, why, uh, VANESSA CARLTON? Is she big at LAN parties that I’m not invited to or something? It’s mind-boggling.

It manages to stumble all over itself from the second you turn it on and never manages to recover. Simple control functions are handled clumsily, changing weapons is a chore and someone actually thought the dumb melee-exclusive levels would be a good idea. Like the rest of this stinker, it is not.

How many rednecks does it take to enjoy The Dukes of Hazzard: Return of the General Lee? Three! One to play it, one to drink his beer and one to shoot the player when he asks to be put out of his misery.

The controls here are totally unsatisfying. Tack on narrow-minded gameplay and dim graphics and you've got a game that dies quite easily, actually.

Not enough control is a major penalty and a lack of fun is grounds for ejection. Its simplicity might be able to hold your interest for a minute or two, but a true soccer fan will be left with deflated ball.

The level design and flow of the game grows tiring quickly. Perhaps if Minority Report the game had better matched the movie, the final product would be more fun and interesting.

The robot design and collection aspects are pretty good, but it isn't worth much when you're just pounding buttons like an idiot. Mindless gameplay coupled with camera problems and not much else leads to a game you definitely don't need to get.

Most of the game is as tedious and exciting as burning ants with a magnifying glass.

Inarguably, it's a sucky game. Once you've taken Marvel Nemesis through its paces, you'll pierce its glinty armor with your newfound eye beams of license abuse and try to toss it into the local penitentiary for the rest of its unnatural born life.

True Crime: New York City replicates the over-the-top violence and goofy sexuality of GTA, but trashes that series' friendly interface, gorgeous environment, and dependable physics. If there's a lesson to be learned here, it's that what made GTA so enjoyable weren't the mature themes, but the execution.

It is sluggish and boring, unoriginal and tedious. It makes me ill. Don't buy this game.

Even the most fanatic of Toy Story fans will see straight through this game... the unoriginality and outdated-ness coupled with the poor graphics and weak framerate send this straight to the bargain bins. If you want to follow the exploits of Buzz Lightyear, go watch the movie and leave this one at the toy store.

The hobo outside could do a better job than whomever they picked to do the voice acting.

It's like a big aerial trick that looked cool, but ends up with the rider squashed by his own bike.

I think we should all tip our hats and have a moment of silence because "World Series Baseball 2K1" was dead on arrival.

Too many technical problems and not enough fun drive this bike straight into the ground. You'll have more fun playing "Hang On" again with "Shenmue."

3D effect really, really, really hurts.

It appears, at a glance, that Asphalt 3D is an incredibly strong launch title. Local multiplayer, plentiful maps, decent graphics, and fast-paced gameplay should all mix together into something worthwhile. It doesn't take long for everything to fall apart, though, and before long the scratches on the surface turn to full-blown gashes.

Even after playing the last game, Ar Tonelico Qoga is simply disappointing. If only Gust had decided to fix what was wrong with earlier incarnations - the non-intense battles, the remarkably "blah" characters, the below-average everything - they might have had something here.

Mayhem isn't a guilty pleasure. It's just painful to look at, painful to play.

Mayhem isn't a guilty pleasure. It's just painful to look at, painful to play.

The only thing that can possibly be complimented with Alive would be a few vague ideas with the potential for fun; but grading on those alone is hardly enough. Whatever the game could have been is smothered in the dirt.

The only thing that can possibly be complimented with Alive would be a few vague ideas with the potential for fun; but grading on those alone is hardly enough. Whatever the game could have been is smothered in the dirt.

If you really want to play Chaos Theory, go find a used copy of the superior original at a fraction of the price.

C'mon, we all deserve better than this, no matter how slim the pickings are for the 3DS right now.

There's just not much here, and what is, feels rushed and half-hearted.

You'd be better off just going back and watching the animé instead.

World Gone Sour just goes to remind us all about the reputation licensed games have earned over the past decade or two: They suck. And this is a sweet-and-sour steamer.

Do not buy Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor. If you do, don't play it.

Quality assurance is a beautiful thing, people. It keeps sprites on the screen, weapons able to be picked up when available always, and everything working as they should. I don't know if all was alright in Windows, but playing on a Mac… well, don't bother.

The lackluster presentation, awkward control and unbelievably shallow gameplay make this the first official bottom feeder for the PS2. Sic 'em, Jaws.

I'm totally for the idea of a nonviolent FPS, but this one just doesn't work on any level. It's like "Catechumen's" long lost pagan brother. It doesn't even make a good game for your kid brother or son who's hopped up on Atlantis fever. This is one empire that deserves to stay lost.

The story isn't there, the gameplay is very boring, the graphics aren't good and the control will leave you craving for the blood of a programmer.

A poor excuse for a kart racer, and a poor excuse for a game. Everything else seems so much sweeter in comparison. A good punch to the face would be like candy to me.

Dull and soulless. An effort in tedium.

Someone needs to recycle this plastic and make something more useful, like a toilet paper holder.

The big kick in the eyes come with the laughable rain. Besides degrading the graphics to a PSX level, the rain only seems to fall in certain spots, like right over your car. It's as if there's a guy in a helicopter spraying water from above with a hose.

A study in bad design and boring gameplay... Heed my stern warning and don't talk to Ephemeral Fantasia. Don't pass her notes. Don't try to get test answers off of her. She's an evil witch.

Any kid will be happier with a weighty MIT textbook that they won't immediately understand than this deadweight of a fighting design game that no one will EVER understand.

Just not any fun at all. It's grossly repetitive, strictly linear and painfully boring.

Besides the two seconds of fatality joy, the only other redeeming quality of this game is its price. Major retail outlets tag it at about $20. That’s still about $19 overpriced, but at least they’re not trying to pretend this decorative coaster is anything else.

Whoever is coming up with ideas like the two Career modes and the ability to set practice schedules should get promoted. Then, they should go work for a series with more potential. Either that, or Sony should hire people who are serious about gameplay, because NCAA Final Four 2004 clearly is not.

One of the worst games we’ve ever seen. As much as we’d like to see more sexual content in games, we’re afraid Magna Cum Laude will do for Mature games what "Showgirls" did for NC-17 rated movies.

It can be difficult, but usually this difficulty stems from horrible camera angles, slow animations, and ill-positioned save points.

Terrible control, lame features and an overall lack of excitement make this law enforcement experience worse than an episode of "Cop Rock."

Just a bad video game. Very young, very stupid fans of the series will likely enjoy running around in circles whacking at things, but we at GR do not.

One of the worst games we’ve ever seen. As much as we’d like to see more sexual content in games, we’re afraid Magna Cum Laude will do for Mature games what "Showgirls" did for NC-17 rated movies.

Sets the stage for success with an awesome track list, but fails miserably with its totally weak skills. Please, put down the mic.

It provides roughly fifteen minutes of absolutely gruesome, chaotic pleasure, then promptly nosedives into the Mariana Trench of bad design, bad graphics and bad control.

It’s pretty clear that Pokemon Dash is a game for very young kids, the 6 and under crowd, although I can also see this game appealing to grandmothers. The problem is, it’s barely any fun for either demographic, and members of both might wind up trying to eat the stylus.

I cursed plenty while playing, and it came straight from my own beat down heart. Get your revenge on bad games and leave this stinker in the shadows of the bargain bin.

While the DS is a very versatile machine that can adapt to different play mechanics thanks to its stylus and touchscreen, there are some things it obviously shouldn't attempt. This is one such thing. Avoid like a trip-wire.

Instantly forgettable and certainly regrettable, this fighter is preposterously short on both brains and brawn. Here's to hoping that Streetwise listens to its title and is indeed the final Final Fight.

The game’s best feature is its inclusion of the twenty year-old version of Rampage, which is actually smarter, deeper, and just plain better than Total Destruction. That's sad. Flee in terror.

Street Supremacy introduces an interesting concept with the racing gang turf war, but drives it off a cliff with bad handling, little excitement and no fun.

So wildly uninspired, so entirely rote in its design that it barely qualifies as decent merchandising even at its discounted $20 price. The GR judges give this one the finger.

SNK vs. Capcom: Card Fighters DS takes everything I remember about playing tradable card games, highlights the bad parts, and then breaks.

With twenty-six unique charaters and as many stories to play through, this is the hands-down, be-all, end-all, motherload of button pushing. The rest of us, however, understand why George Jetson hates his job. Ok, you can stop doing it now.

With twenty-six unique charaters and as many stories to play through, this is the hands-down, be-all, end-all, motherload of button pushing. The rest of us, however, understand why George Jetson hates his job. Ok, you can stop doing it now.

This game is so bad its suckiness doesn’t reveal itself slowly, but rather right away. It’s likely you won’t get halfway through your first race before the boredom sets in.

You won’t be playing much, however - New Vision relies too heavily on cut scenes and conversations, only pausing to slip in an action stage here and there.

When compared to a game released in 1977 that was really only one step more complex than Pong, Tank Beat got… beat.

In short, everything that Evolution changes from the original Tetris is a bad idea that makes the game worse. That this game sells for $30 is a joke, there are much better games for cheaper on Xbox Live Arcade.

Honestly, if the game didn't try to make you hate it, it would be perfectly tolerable, maybe even enjoyable.

Legends imply greatness; but Soul Calibur Legends is only the greatest loser -- a throwaway hack-and-slash action game. Unattractive, lacking depth, and generally not fun, this dull blade can't parry its long list of flaws with anything worthwhile.

As the slacker par excellence, Donkey Kong would seem to be more suited to the casual gaming era than any other character in the Mario pantheon. Instead, as with any aging slacker, he’s simply a frustrating bore.

Do not play Warriors Orochi. You'll be in desperate need of high-caliber pain-killers to stomach all that cheese.

This just feels like one of those movies where you push a button to decide what scene should come next (and we all know how great those movies are). That’s just not enough to justify what is essentially five slow moving episodes of Harvey Birdman.

This just feels like one of those movies where you push a button to decide what scene should come next (and we all know how great those movies are). That’s just not enough to justify what is essentially five slow moving episodes of Harvey Birdman.

This just feels like one of those movies where you push a button to decide what scene should come next (and we all know how great those movies are). That’s just not enough to justify what is essentially five slow moving episodes of Harvey Birdman.

The essential problem with Soldier of Fortune: Payback is that it tries very hard to appear realistic while trotting out silly gameplay mechanisms. It’s hard to tell if it’s a serious shooter covering the military side of contemporary politics, or a parody.

Probably the closest thing to compare it to would be the Dynasty Warriors series. Its games are not known for being the most in-depth, but they at least strike the good balance between hack-and-slash and RPG that Warriors lacks.

What makes the ending for Ninja Reflex the worst of all time is that it's intentional. It would have been better if the Wii had glitched, or if the memory card had burned, or if I was sucked into an inter-dimensional space where memories die.

I could go on for much longer, pointing out the weightless feel of your player, the cheap and featureless last-gen graphics, the repetitive and unimaginative play-by-play banter, the purposeless customization options or the usually desolate and ultimately just as crappy online multiplayer. But that would be treating the game as if it had tried, when it’s apparent that this baller was looking to ball the pooch all along.

While the battle modes do offer you a chance to play as some of the other characters in the series, butt-ugly rendering and all, most of them are locked in the beginning however. Now, I know there’s a way to unlock them, because over the course of reviewing the game I unlocked a couple, but I’ll be damned if I know how I did it.

Legendary is in the same league as Battlefield: Earth and Turok of how not to do something. How bad is this game you ask? It's Superman 64 bad. Well, maybe not quite that bad, but Legendary sucks more that a Hoover on overdrive. It's bad like ET for the 2600 bad. You might even say it's Legendarily bad.

There’s no unifying factor to the game, no universal joy to be had, no... I need a beer.

Instead of a timing-based rhythm game, which has worked well in the past for DS music games like Elite Beat Agents, Red Bull BC One went down the most shallow route possible. The result is an utter time-waster, with decent music that wont make you forget that you're playing a less-amusing version of kindergarten busywork.

Every other rail shooter that’s been released for the Wii is better than this one. Target: Terror is unnecessarily difficult and every bit as hollow as it is ugly.

I am at a loss for something truly positive to say. As much as I want to present something, anything, positive about a product people put time into developing, I cannot. Pirates Vs. Ninjas is just a dumb idea, badly executed.

Unfinished, underdeveloped racing efforts like Need for Speed: Undercover leave the acrid taste of stale engine oil and greasy do-rags in my mouth. Luckily, it’s nothing that a little time spent with Grid or PGR4 can’t wash away. Undercover attempts to return the series to its former glory, but it’s obviously lost that loving feeling.

Unfinished, underdeveloped racing efforts like Need for Speed: Undercover leave the acrid taste of stale engine oil and greasy do-rags in my mouth. Luckily, it’s nothing that a little time spent with Grid or PGR4 can’t wash away. Undercover attempts to return the series to its former glory, but it’s obviously lost that loving feeling.

You're better off putting on a blindfold, walking into a rack of DS titles, and picking the game that your face lands on.

There's no way around it - today's standards for games are way higher than they were years ago. A game comprising of just pixel hunting, and doing that as badly as Interpol, is simply ridiculous.

If there ever was a game to be pointed to and laughed at, it would be this one.

The shooty stuff is okay, the cover is fine, the difficulty is all but nonexistent given your inability to die, but the worst part of all of this, the real slap in the face, is that it costs FIFTY !@#$ING DOLLARS

The shooty stuff is okay, the cover is fine, the difficulty is all but nonexistent given your inability to die, but the worst part of all of this, the real slap in the face, is that it costs FIFTY !@#$ING DOLLARS

I honestly can’t think of any kind of gamer that would genuinely enjoy this underwhelmingly over-the-top tribute to everything you’d see if Hot Topic made a video game.

Last Rebellion tries your patience at every turn. The combat is repetitive, the story is obtuse, and the graphics are primitive. It’s as if Hit Maker aimed for total mediocrity on the PSP and hit an abyss of obsolescence on the PS3 instead.

Don't spend your money on How To Train Your Dragon, no matter how much you enjoyed the movie. You can easily do better than this terrible, movie-tie-in, mad grab for cash.

Don't spend your money on How To Train Your Dragon, no matter how much you enjoyed the movie. You can easily do better than this terrible, movie-tie-in, mad grab for cash.

This could possibly be the worst hero game since Superman 64.

This could possibly be the worst hero game since Superman 64.

I could go on to tell you about the terrible graphics, the ho-hum animations, the appalling voice-acting, and Perseus's stupid shoulder shrugs whenever he speaks. But really, this game has taken up enough of my time and yours.

I could go on to tell you about the terrible graphics, the ho-hum animations, the appalling voice-acting, and Perseus's stupid shoulder shrugs whenever he speaks. But really, this game has taken up enough of my time and yours.

If you're losing sleep at night and are in need of some real-time combat, get Vagrant Story. If it's too late and you already own this atrocity, just break it up and try to feed it to ducks or something.

Though the game is in 3D, you cannot move the camera at all. It just tracks Bruce and zooms in and out randomly. Half the time you'll be fighting a guy standing off screen. Not that it matters, though, since the enemies are morons who simply perform the same attacks over and over again.

Besides the two seconds of fatality joy, the only other redeeming quality of this game is its price. Major retail outlets tag it at about $20. That’s still about $19 overpriced, but at least they’re not trying to pretend this decorative coaster is anything else.

Terrible control, lame features and an overall lack of excitement make this law enforcement experience worse than an episode of "Cop Rock."

One of the worst games we've ever seen. As much as we'd like to see more sexual content in games, we're afraid Magna Cum Laude will do for Mature games what "Showgirls" did for NC-17 rated movies.

It provides roughly fifteen minutes of absolutely gruesome, chaotic pleasure, then promptly nosedives into the Mariana Trench of bad design, bad graphics and bad control.

Other underachieving facets of the game, such as the awful, wildly repetitive music and the atrocious voice-acting, probably deserve comment, but I'm all out of apologies.

Instantly forgettable and certainly regrettable, this fighter is preposterously short on both brains and brawn. Here's to hoping that Streetwise listens to its title and is indeed the final Final Fight.

So wildly uninspired, so entirely rote in its design that it barely qualifies as decent merchandising even at its discounted $20 price. The GR judges give this one the finger.

The game's best feature is its inclusion of the twenty year-old version of Rampage, which is actually smarter, deeper, and just plain better than Total Destruction. That's sad. Flee in terror.

The game is obscenely generic, wildly frustrating and simply not worth the time. Kids will throw tantrums and adults will pull out their hair. I fear Kao is headed straight for the video game character wasteland, populated by such notables as "Aero the Acrobat," "Bubsy" and "Michael Jackson."

I wish there really were a Buzz Lightyear, because he would probably beat the crap out of the guys who made this game.

Call of Duty Black Ops: Declassified doesn't just lack a story-it lacks an attempt at a story. It doesn't just lack good multiplayer stages; it lacks stages. It doesn't just have a few occasional bugs; it has entirely too many gltiches, disconnections, and crashes-though I must admit, seeing a chopper spawn inside a house is good for a few laughs.

Save your money for something less painful, like a bikini wax or unanaesthetized dental surgery.

Even worse than the graphics is the sound, which is abysmal. I'm not talking about the music, which is an adequate orchestral score. I'm talking about the sound effects, which are the worst I've heard since my Atari 2600 stopped beeping.

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT under any circumstance give this game as a gift to anyone you would like to stay on good terms with. Not even die hard Survivor fans could possibly enjoy this game. Instead, send a copy to your worst enemy.

Simply a terrible game. Bad graphics, poor sound, lousy play mechanics, dull mission design, occasional crashes and no Captain Kirk combine to make this an adventure best left to the unknown.

But the saddest part has to be the staggering number of people who worked on this thing, including some well-respected developers. Just check the credits from the manual. I’m not counting them all, but that’s about 400 names.

The developers spent far too much time making sure Fight Club looked good in screenshots rather than making sure it would look good during play.

A train wreck from start to finish. There is no balance. There is no stability. If the engine was an automobile, it would be a Yugo. Truly the only benefit of its existence is as a reminder that we are lucky to have such excellent alternatives.

From its bad control to its bad design, this is the real reason god kills kittens.

There is no reason to buy or rent this tragic mess of code, and while it’s not the end of the world, it’s damn close. Evil indeed.

There is no skill required to get through the game, only time, memorization, and enough patience to not hurl the thing into the fireplace.

One time, 911 crashed so hard that it actually TURNED OFF THE COMPUTER. Screw fire rescue - how about disk rescue!

The real problem is that the game is frustratingly hard. The camera is wily, and the tall buildings of New York frequently get in your way.

In general, playing the game is a sinusoidal process of momentary elation as you uncover a new element, quickly followed by deep disappointment as you discover it’s a piece of crap.

In general, playing the game is a sinusoidal process of momentary elation as you uncover a new element, quickly followed by deep disappointment as you discover it’s a piece of crap.

In general, playing the game is a sinusoidal process of momentary elation as you uncover a new element, quickly followed by deep disappointment as you discover it’s a piece of crap.

In general, playing the game is a sinusoidal process of momentary elation as you uncover a new element, quickly followed by deep disappointment as you discover it’s a piece of crap.

Like a near-death experience, bad games can provide us with a vision of the other side, a gamer’s hell filled with E.T. games and 3DOs. A bad game serves to reminds us why good games are so good, and they cleanse the palette and bring us back to the zero-point of solid game development. If you haven’t guessed already, Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Zombie Ninja Pro-Am is one of those terrible, terrible games.

My mother didn't like me quitting the piano because I didn’t find it fun anymore, but Rhythm ‘N Notes commits a far worse offense. It takes the joy of music and turns it down to a mute.

The game is bafflingly boring and ridiculous. The game has no structure at all, no sense of urgency, no compelling reason to exist or be endured whatsoever. The scenes play on and on and on, and the story wends down byways of no consequence whatsoever. Lost indeed.

For those of you that care, I've gone through an eighth of a liter of scotch since starting this review. And I'm certain that the number of brain cells I've killed is only a small fraction of the number that committed suicide from being exposed to Ju-On. They were lucky.

Truly, there’s nothing redeeming; you're just going to waste your time playing it. If you have the self-control, please don’t let morbid curiosity get the best of you.

It's ugly; it's slippery; all of the enemies blend together because they're all the frickin' same... it's awe-inspiringly bad, really. Not since Superman 64 have I played something this stomach-wrenching, and at least in the end that was funny-horrible. This one skips by funny-horrible and goes right back to bad.

It's ugly; it's slippery; all of the enemies blend together because they're all the frickin' same... it's awe-inspiringly bad, really. Not since Superman 64 have I played something this stomach-wrenching, and at least in the end that was funny-horrible. This one skips by funny-horrible and goes right back to bad.

There are literally no redeeming qualities to the game. Maybe if it wasn't as broken as it is in so many areas, I could contentedly give it a 'D'; it would merely be a poor knock-off in that case, not atrocious as it stands.

We're not laughing with you, guys, we're laughing at you.

I've been sticking my finger in my mouth trying to hurl this filth back up. Maybe I can get KISS to "Lick It Up!"

This is probably the worst racing game (motocross or otherwise) that I have ever played. It plays bad, looks bad, and I'm sure if I sniffed it, it would probably smell bad, too.

A movie rip-off perpetrated by greedy execs who are certain that the people who enjoyed the movie will be intrigued enough to shell out for this stinker. No doubt the true Imhotep is presently trying to kick a hole in his sarcophagus lid to get at the Konami programmers who have blasphemed his name by attaching it to this abomination.

This gameplay is about as much fun as riding the Monorail.

But the saddest part has to be the staggering number of people who worked on this thing, including some well-respected developers. Just check the credits from the manual. I’m not counting them all, but that’s about 400 names.

Simply a terrible game. Bad graphics, poor sound, lousy play mechanics, dull mission design, occasional crashes and no Captain Kirk combine to make this an adventure best left to the unknown.

From its bad control to its bad design, this is the real reason god kills kittens.

The developers spent far too much time making sure Fight Club looked good in screenshots rather than making sure it would look good during play.

You'll find it almost unplayable thanks to both the worst camera and control in the history of video gaming.

Among my canon of crappy games, this one takes the cake as the most vapidly pointless game yet. Good bye, Angels, I’ll see you in Hell. In this case, Hell being under my mug of java on the coffee table.

From its bad control to its bad design, this is the real reason god kills kittens.

To add insult to injury, when Batman gets hurt, his animation is to fall over like a domino. Here you've got a fully equipped destroyer of crime, and he takes punches like an inflatable 'punch-em' clown. This speaks pages for how poorly the rest of the animation fares.

One of the most unique games I've played, unique in that there was not a single moment that was truly fun.