New York Magazine (Vulture)'s Scores

For 1,796 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 44% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 54% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 0.8 points higher than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 62
Highest review score: 100 The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Lowest review score: 0 The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence)
Score distribution:
1,796 movie reviews
  1. I've never seen a film in which what was actually onscreen seemed so irrelevant.
  2. A well-polished cowpat that will confuse and bore those who know nothing about Shakespeare and incense those who know almost anything.
  3. The Rum Diary has no mighty gonzo wind. Even with a push from its Thompson-worshipping star, Johnny Depp, it leaves our freak flag limp.
  4. The movie spreads bad vibes like a virus.
  5. It has been a long time since I've heard people - many people - distinctly yell, "Boo!" Usually they just growl or moan or hiss. They don't bother actually to articulate the word "Boo!" I second their statement. The ending reeks.
  6. Believe it or not, the delicate-featured, whisper-thin actress manages to (mostly) pull it off, but the abysmal movie around her lets her down.
  7. His performance feels so disingenuous, so forced, that an otherwise perfectly acceptable high-concept comedy comes crashing down around him.
  8. Somehow both annoyingly overstuffed and depressingly thin.
  9. Rock of Ages withholds nothing and makes miracles seem cheap.
  10. The movie, written and directed by Brian Klugman and Lee Sternthal, is desultory when it's not inept, but the set-up is so good that you can't help sticking it out to the (unforgivable) end.
  11. What a whorish film this is: Even the serial killer lectures the detective.
  12. If anything, this series has gotten dumber and more inert as it has progressed, with this last one finally reaching over into an extended wallow in camp.
  13. If the similarly situated "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" took itself too seriously, the problem with Hansel & Gretel is that it doesn't quite take itself seriously enough - which sounds insane, but it's not too much to ask that the movie go beyond its one and only joke. Instead, amid all the fake Sturm und Drang, all we hear is the movie giggling to itself.
  14. For all of R’s allegedly humorous observations about the wasteland of the undead through which he walks, they feel tacked on — like somebody decided to turn this thing into a comedy at the last second.
  15. Olympus Has Fallen is a disgusting piece of work, but it certainly hits its marks — it makes you sick with suspense.
  16. If all this sounds outrageous, and extreme … don’t worry, it’s not. Provocation coupled with ineptitude doesn’t reveal the ugliness of humanity; it simply reveals the ugliness of the filmmakers themselves.
  17. For all its attempts at wonder and spectacle and play, Epic is mostly a slog.
  18. Were Shyamalan and Smith deliberately invoking the terror — now omnipresent in urban African-American communities — of lethal asthma attacks in children? I’m not sure how I feel about something so real and so wrenching in the context of a Grade D (unfit for human habitation) sci-fi picture like After Earth.
  19. The original film also featured Rob Schneider. I can’t quite believe I’m saying this, but his presence is sorely missed here.
  20. The Canyons isn’t just bad, it’s rank — and it takes a peculiar sort of integrity to denude the frame of life to the point where it smells to heaven.
  21. City of Bones isn’t the worst of its kind, but crap served with flair is still basically crap.
  22. Maybe, in another time and place, and with different actors and a better director, it might have worked. But this thing collapses right from the get-go.
  23. Getaway’s only claim to fame is that it may be the dumbest movie released this summer.
  24. As a result, we get relatively little insight into the other characters as they react to Riddick. Without an unknown force to spark our own imaginations, the result is mostly dead air.
  25. A fair number of people have responded with tears and laughs to Saving Mr. Banks, but I found it interminable.
  26. My daughter wants you to know that the movie is great and that you shouldn’t listen to a hater like me. I envy her belief.
  27. Does anybody really find this crap scary anymore?
  28. Whatever its politics, Gimme Shelter fails on multiple levels.
  29. Eckhart plays Frankenstein’s monster in a monotonous, teeth-gritting mode, as if someone had one gun on him and another on his family.
  30. The problem here isn’t the writer-director’s politics, but his stifling lack of imagination, his complete refusal to even attempt narrative dexterity.
  31. One reason Oculus feels so talky and monotonous in spite of its tricky syntax is that the space itself isn’t charged with malignancy. And the monster doesn’t compensate — it’s dumb, blockish, inert. The mirror doesn’t have two faces. It barely has one.
  32. It should be wilder, funnier, nuttier.
  33. This demonic possession story is at times so lame it makes the last "Paranormal Activity" flick look like a masterpiece.
  34. A weird mix of tired jokes, topicality, and crippling anxiety.
  35. It’s a good family movie the way Hooters is a good family restaurant.
  36. Performance aside, the film never quite manages to figure out what it’s actually about.
  37. Bana is a likable actor, but he doesn’t bring any vulnerability or transparency to the part; it’s hard to tell what he’s thinking, if he’s thinking anything at all. And so, we move from one bleak, bludgeoning setpiece to another. But with each loud noise, the film loses us more and more.
  38. A sad, bad, parade of uninspired cameos and listless violence.
  39. It’s certainly not good. But it’s not entirely dire.
  40. The people who made this movie have either seen too much mayhem -- or they haven't seen any.
  41. Don't go to this movie on a full stomach. Better yet, don't go.
  42. Most movies take a while to slip you into a stupor. All the Pretty Horses makes you groggy right away. Set in 1949, it's a lackadaisical series of vignettes apparently culled from a much longer movie that never made it to the screen. Be thankful for that.
  43. Writer-director Billy Morrissette doesn't have much feeling for satire -- or for Shakespeare. This is a comedy for people who couldn't make it through the CliffsNotes.
  44. Plays out like "Cool Hand Luke" meets "Attica," and it's quite the silliest thing.
  45. If Rock ever comes to his senses, he can host Saturday Night Live and skewer this damp, gag-riddled civics lesson of a movie.
  46. Fred Schepisi, the great Australian director, had the thankless task of trying to turn Jesse Wigutow’s screenplay into something with a pulse, but his finesse is wasted on this steaming heap of dysfunctionalism.
  47. Hollywood movies are once again taking on the job that Andy Griffith–era TV sitcoms used to fill, touting homespun values in Never Land.
  48. John Herzfeld, the writer-director, attacks America's lust for voyeuristic sensationalism by aping the very tactics he decries.
  49. What is the great Gene Hackman doing in the dingbat con-artist comedy Heartbreakers.
  50. Began life as a standard sci-fi horror script before mutating into the unfunny mess it now is.
  51. A heavy dose of movie-colony narcissism posing as warts-and-all honesty.
  52. Stupefyingly lackluster.
  53. There's only one surgery scene, but it's the heart (and kidneys) of Turistas. The rest -- especially the incoherent action -- falls well below the mark set by the last Americans Abroad torture-porn picture, "Hostel."
  54. In a vile-movie competition between Michael Haneke’s "Funny Games" and Vadim Perelman’s The Life Before Her Eyes, Haneke’s film would win--but only because he’s working so much harder to be noxious.
  55. Orgy, hell: The film is like a nightmare in which you're trapped in an arcade with screens on all sides and no eyelids. Based on an elemental but happily streamlined Japanese cartoon (an anime precursor), it's an eyesore, a shambles, with incoherent action and ear-buckling dialogue.
  56. You really have to screw it up to dishonor the memory of a movie as shitty as the original "Friday the 13th." Heads should roll.
  57. Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood is a pompous, interminable hash.
  58. He (Perry) has taken Shange's landmark poem cycle for seven African-American actresses, cut it up, and sewn its bloody entrails into a tawdry, masochistic soap opera that exponentially ups the "Precious" ante.
  59. Dr. Seuss's The Lorax [sic] isn't Seussian in spirit. It's shrill and campy and stuffed with superfluous characters.
  60. Veering between tonal and narrative extremes, it's the kind of film that makes you long for the grim pomposity of something like "Signs."
  61. Butter essentially eats its own premise, then proceeds to bludgeon us with unfunny, unoriginal political satire.
  62. It offers a deranged hodgepodge of tones and acting styles and strange mannerisms and affectations and narrative dead ends that feels like it was assembled by a committee of bipolar extraterrestrials.
  63. Sinister did something I thought would be impossible: It made this lifelong horror freak abhor horror movies.
  64. A Good Day to Die Hard is the opposite of a labor of love. It has no good lines, no crackerjack fights, and only one mildly orgasmic revenge killing. It will satisfy no one — high-, low-, or middlebrow. Die Hard is finally in its death throes.
  65. Turgid, unfunny catastrophe.
  66. Appalling in ways that you could never have anticipated. The movie mixes mismatched-buddy high jinks with scenes of carnage.
  67. The carnage (with its computer-­generated splatter) is meant to be campy fun, but it’s so offhand that there’s less suspense than in an Austin Powers movie.
  68. A wan little neo-noir whose intricacies inspire more tedium than suspense, The Bag Man is a good example of how to waste a solid cast.
  69. A Haunted House 2 is not a movie. It is a nervous breakdown.
  70. Familiarity is not always a bad thing, though. "The Conjuring" breathed new life into old clichés; it showed that those creaking doors and possessed closets and white-robed figures still had the power to scare us. But that was a movie made with sensitivity and purpose. The blunt, lifeless Annabelle, on the other hand, sucks that life right back out.
  71. In The Best of Me, the melodrama feels so hurried and half-baked that the end result isn’t just disappointing. It’s borderline infuriating.
  72. The film is filled with actors you want to see -- just not in this thing.
  73. Here’s a good rule of thumb: Any movie featuring a quote in its ad from the poet laureate of Great Britain—“Deeply engaging!” -- is in trouble.
  74. 8MM
    Wallows in its own muck.
  75. If you were expecting Ritchie to discover something in Madonna that no one else has, something like, say, acting talent, forget it.
  76. Has a terrific premise that shatters almost upon arrival; no bad-boy legend trashing a hotel room could have done a more complete job.
  77. Is it possible none of these actors read the script before they signed on? Were New Line executives perhaps too hung up on hobbits to notice how whacked out this movie is?
  78. Isn't scary, funny-scary, or even just plain funny.
  79. Again and again the killers linger sadistically over the dead or dying bodies of the people they've dispatched. Did Carnahan think these sickening scenes would give Smokin' Aces a moral complexity that's generally absent from this genre? I think they make the picture seem even more morally bankrupt.
  80. What I experienced was a lot of fetid experimental-film folderol perfumed by Chopin nocturnes on the soundtrack.
  81. Even if the film were well done, it would still be a travesty.
  82. Apollo 18, isn't egregiously inept. It just never lives. It's 80 minutes of dead air.
  83. Love it or hate it, Milius's original Red Dawn looks like an Akira Kurosawa masterpiece next to this latest iteration, directed by Dan Bradley.
  84. The whole thing seems ill-conceived from the start, unable to keep its parameters simple – think of Ghostbusters and “Don’t cross the streams!” – but also lacking any genuine comic spark or imagination. It’s an exhausting 98 minute ride to nowhere.
  85. I don’t know, maybe it worked as theater. Onscreen, it’s torture.
  86. It’s actually worse than the 1981 Franco Zeffirelli–Brooke Shields version — which is worse than being waterboarded but at least bears some resemblance to the book and its brilliantly addled ‘70s vibe.
  87. Left Behind is biblical in its silliness.
  88. Clumsy, obvious, preposterous, the movie will likely set the cause of woman warriors back decades.
  89. Spike Lee’s She Hate Me is his worst movie ever--even worse than "Bamboozled," his self-serving indictment of modern minstrelsy, which at least was worth arguing about.
  90. The movie stinks to heaven.
  91. In Arthur, the spectacularly grating remake of Steve Gordon's 1981 P. G. Wodehouse simulation (this time, Peter Baynham miswrote, Jason Winer misdirected), Russell Brand gives a career-killing performance.
  92. The movie is a reductio ad absurdum, a sick joke taken to extremes, beginning with a goof on the notion that horror movies inspire copycats and ending with a test to determine whether some people will watch anything.
  93. It's rare to see a piece of sh** that actually looks and sounds like a piece of sh**. It's kind of exciting!
  94. Haneke’s assault on our fantasy lives is shallow, unimaginative, and glacially unengaged--a sucker punch without the redeeming passion of punk.
  95. In my own world, Only God Forgives plays somewhat differently. I thought it was just about the worst f---ing thing I’ve ever seen. In fact, I was depressed it wasn’t laughed off the screen.

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