Philadelphia Inquirer's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
For 3,997 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 70% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 27% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 4.4 points higher than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 68
Highest review score: 100 Moneyball
Lowest review score: 0 Isn't She Great
Score distribution:
3997 movie reviews
  1. The ads for The Sweetest Thing promise that if you loved "There's Something About Mary" and "My Best Friend's Wedding," then you can't miss this latest Cameron Diaz vehicle. Well, miss it.
  2. Judah Friedlander and Lindsay Lohan are striking, respectively, as a Lennon paparazzo and a fan creeped out by Chapman.
  3. This is no "Raging Bull."
  4. The film quickly turns unintentionally, and unrelentingly, awkward.
  5. Just because you can come up with names such as Azeroth, Durotan, Orgrim, and Grommash Hellscream doesn't mean you're J.R.R. Tolkien, people.
  6. It's hard to say with certainty whether it's insufficient plot or insufficient interpretation that's responsible for Travolta's waxwork performance.
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
    • 32 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    Reiner, who made "This is Spinal Tap," "The Sure Thing," "When Harry Met Sally" -- memorable movies all -- has made this silly slice of Lean Cuisine. And that, in the end, makes Alex and Emma an utter tragedy.
  7. Identity theft and credit-card fraud never looked as exciting or sexy as in Plastic, a frothy little heist movie from Britain that starts off with great promise, only to devolve midway into an empty derivative shell of a film.
  8. Sappy script. Cheesy supernaturalism. Tired satire.
  9. An abhorrent cyberthriller starring a compelling Diane Lane.
  10. A flat-out cynical attempt to launch a new Lethal Weapon-like franchise.
  11. As an account of how for-profit big business literally rips a consumer's heart out, Repo Men is too graphic for me.
  12. While stylishly filmed and edited, Boogeyman is filled with every imaginable fright cliche... It's like a meal consisting entirely of airy hors d'oeuvres.
  13. This one is so bad that even Ed Norton couldn't get this mess to move through the sewer.
  14. Perfect Stranger is the Egg MacGuffin of whodunits, a cheesy affair that casts so many baited lures that they tangle each other and don't hook you.
  15. An unintentional high-tech hoot.
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
  16. Envy makes a pretty entertaining three-minute trailer. If only they'd left it at that.
  17. Monster-in-Law, where Bridezilla meets Godzilla, is a comedy so anemic, so toxic, that even Dracula wouldn't bite.
  18. This film about a career gal's date with fate careers out of control.
  19. Hobbled by a laughably bad script and a uniformly uncharismatic cast.
  20. Blended throws a lot of things on the screen, but in the end, it has to confront its awkward and artificial "romance." And that's just ugly.
  21. If the Brothers Grimm had devoted themselves to farce rather than scary fairy tales, they might have produced something like Seventh Son, a whacko sword-and-sorcery exercise.
  22. The acting is better than the script deserves and Lexi Alexander's cut-to-the-hearse direction lends the film considerable kick.
  23. Maybe if there was something going with the dialogue - snappy Chandlerisms, say, or even just sentences that made sense - the fussy digital artifice of The Spirit wouldn't seem so, well, dispiriting.
  24. It may not be the worst war epic ever made - that probably would be "Battlefield Earth" -- but it's darn close to being an unqualified disaster of that magnitude.
  25. Six guys and a gal who flatline on arrival. Easily the lamest action-adventure fantasy since “Wild Wild West.”
  26. A schmaltzy, deeply sentimentalized drama about American slavery and the rise of the Underground Railroad.
  27. The Boy Next Door aspires to be a cautionary tale, but it unspools like an infomercial - with a shockingly gory ending.
  28. Parents in a masochistic mood can compound the headache-inducing experience by paying extra for the 3-D version.
  29. Overall, the effect is closer to a Monty Python skit or a Village People music vid than a serious film about civil rights.
  30. Faced with the script's weak humor and feeble stabs at irony, Schwartzman and Stiller turn it way up, setting the dial at "hammy."
  31. The jokes are unabashedly pitched at 12-year-old boys, with flatulence, masturbation and excretions as the leading themes.
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
  32. Profoundly knuckleheaded.
  33. Nicely timed to cash in on the Ebola panic, Cabin Fever: Patient Zero - the prequel to the gross-out franchise about a lethal flesh-eating virus and its party-hardy victims - isn't going to do much for the tourism trade in the Dominican Republic.
  34. The film would be a moth-eaten mess without the wisecracking animals. Not that it's funny with them.
  35. A vast disappointment.
  36. 13 Ghosts is the type of project that all parties concerned will have to live down for the rest of their lives.
  37. This so-called comedy is a frayed string of anxious jokes about whether male bonding is manly or sissy.
  38. This unabashedly stupid comedy is, well, unabashedly stupid.
  39. Apart from Williams' presence, director Christopher Erskin's feature debut isn't worth the price of submission. It's not a road trip; it's a road trap.
  40. So stupid, so stupefying, so stupendously bad.
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
  41. Anderson gets style points for the pyramid, though. The building - a combination of Aztec, Egyptian and Cambodian elements loaded with sophisticated gadgetry - totally rocks.
  42. Trapped between edgy art flick and exploitation psychothriller, The Quiet manages to be neither, and manages to be pretty awful in the bargain.
  43. Scary Movie 2 has something for potheads and the potty-mouthed alike. Anyone looking for a true sequel, however, will be disappointed.
  44. No doubt conceived as an underwater version of "National Treasure," Andy Tennant's film plays like a Three Stooges movie with scuba gear.
  45. Filled with embarrassing gosh-golly moments about non-Western cultures, it's a staggering, and insulting, example of cultural myopia.
  46. The Best of Me is neither worse than his other films nor particularly better. At 118 minutes, it is, however, one of the longest. Interminably long, dragging out its molasses heart through what seem like three different endings.
  47. An unlikable and excruciatingly unfunny comedy.
  48. The film's one realistic performance is that of Dakota Fanning as Lucy, whose child's shame, fear and resourcefulness ground the movie in recognizable behavior. She breathes air into this suffocating enterprise.
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
  49. There are a few nice scares in The Colony, and the female lead, Rookie Blue's Charlotte Sullivan, looks really, really cute in blond dreadlocks. But she can't save the movie, nor can her impressive costars, Bill Paxton, Kevin Zegers, and Laurence Fishburne.
  50. Although there are several truly jolting scares, there's also an abundance of hackneyed dialogue and more silly satanic business than you can shake a severed limb at.
  51. It's too gauzy, and - with its Ron Bass script - too goopy by half.
  52. Highlander: The Final Dimension is exactly what it seems - drivel. [30 Jan 1995, p.D01]
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
  53. I could make a joke here about the new Pokemon movie.
  54. Happily N'Ever After carjacks "Cinderella" and puts her wicked stepmother behind the wheel.
  55. Cage appears as a knight of the Crusades, slogging across the continents, slaying infidels and unbelievers and anyone else who gets in his way. There isn't a minute when it looks like he's having fun.
  56. Screenwriters Nicole Eastman and the "Blonde" team of Karen McCullah Lutz and Kirsten Smith provide dialogue that has the propriety of the locker room.
  57. Can be described as whatever is the opposite of a Christmas classic.
  58. There isn't an original frame or line of dialogue in Rage. It's strictly paint by numbers. Or in this case, plasma.
  59. Slapdash, with dialogue and plot points that were cliches in Dickens' era, the pic sends up, then reaffirms, all the values the media sell us each holiday: compassion, forgiveness, tolerance.
  60. A bubble-brained comedy with as much bearing on the real world as a Pokemon cartoon.
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Critic Score
    Once upon a time there were made-for-television movies. Now there are made-for-television movies for movie theaters. The Perfect Man, another anemic Hilary Duff vehicle, is a case in point.
  61. If Sweet November were a puppy, it would have rabies.
  62. Here is a movie with everything going for it and nothing working.
  63. Catwoman, which talks about the "duality" inside all women (wild vs. docile, rapacious vs. cuddly), does have its guilty pleasures. Most of these come courtesy of ice queen Stone.
  64. This saga of a former soccer star coaching his son's team in order to worm his way back into the heart of his ex-wife aims to be warm and funny. Alas, it is mechanical and exhausting, like a windup toy of a monkey crashing together cymbals for 106 minutes while incrementally winding down.
  65. What a stupefying thing it is.
  66. Mike Myers, responsible for the picture's one, or possibly two, laughs.
  67. Wastes an A-list cast in a sorry send-up of B-movie private-eye cliches.
  68. Aloupis is not untalented as writer or helmer. But his first outing is an unsurprising, paint-by-the-numbers picture.
  69. Basic Instinct 2 is supposed to help Stone show it's possible for a woman to be sexy in her late 40s. But it's Rampling - who is 60 - who comes off as the more provocative and alluring. Stone's purring, snarling, bedroom kink is embarrassing.
  70. A mix of "Alice in Wonderland" and William S. Burroughs, "Psycho" and the psychotic. It's pretty much a squirmy experience all around.
  71. A pointless modern morality play set in various sleazy locales that offer sex, drugs, assorted perversions, bare-knuckle fights, and even Russian roulette where lives are wagered for money.
  72. Nothing gets taken here except your ticket money.
  73. Nothing wrong with the syrupy romance Here on Earth that a megadose of insulin couldn't fix.
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
  74. A stunt that fails.
  75. As a western, American Outlaws is an utter failure. As the basis of a "Mad TV" parody, it is an unintentional hoot.
  76. Contrived story lines and an altogether phony resolution erase whatever energy and wit the film displayed, leaving the viewer with an empty, disappointed feeling.
  77. An inert comedy starring Kristen Bell as a workaholic unlucky in love, When in Rome is a rom-bomb.
  78. This insipid take on the teens-in-peril formula, with a snake-bit ghoul chasing kids around the bayou, is truly a fangless task.
  79. The Man on Her Mind, a mirthless, stagy romantic comedy about a pair of New York loners, isn't so much a story as a threadbare concept - a one-liner, really. An old, used-up one at that.
  80. A syrup-thick New Age ghost story of the same sappy stripe and mawkishness as another Costner foray, "Message in a Bottle."
  81. Director Rob Meltzer, who made the kind-of-amusing meta short "I Am Stamos," directs things in shameless, let's-get-this-thing-over-with style, throwing in some gratuitous topless (female) nudity and allowing the usually amusing Kristen Schaal to let loose with a barrage of potty-mouthisms.
  82. Guy Ritchie's Revolver premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival two years ago September. That's 26 months on a shelf somewhere, depriving moviegoers the thrill of jaw-droppingly awful Ray Liotta line readings, of bloody shoot-outs, bags of money, cutaways to frosty babes sucking on lollipops, and even a bit of violent anime.
  83. Ed
    Where does Ed, which is about a baseball-playing chimp and his human sidekick, fit in the pantheon of simian cinema? Way, way down there - on a level with toe lint. [15 Mar 1996, p.5]
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
  84. Not only do they (Gere and Ryder) lack chemistry, they lack physics, zoology, botany and geology.
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
  85. The greatest lacrosse movie of the 21st century - and, unless I'm mistaken, the only lacrosse movie of the 21st century.
  86. Reaches breathtaking lows of incoherence, sexism, racial stereotyping, and -- did I say incoherence?
  87. As a cinematic experience, it's like being locked in a coffin for an hour and a half.
  88. Where the first pic breezed along with gags and gunplay, this forced follow-up is artificial to the hilt - fueled on a kind of trying-too-hard hilarity that makes even good actors look bad.
  89. Like moussed hair and inverted-pyramid shoulder pads, this sloppy, sloppy slapstick is an artifact from the 1980s.
  90. Chloe & Theo is a mess of a message movie, simplistic, sappy, silly.
  91. Verhoeven's most deeply disturbing film yet.
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
  92. If you are unlucky enough to stray into the presence of Bats, I strongly recommend you follow their wise example. Hang from the ceiling and go to sleep.
    • Philadelphia Inquirer
  93. When the big caper finally arrives, you will neither grasp nor care about what's going on.
  94. The wrestler carries himself with decency and without self-seriousness, the qualities that made Arnold Schwarzenegger a star. Austin deserves better material than this. So do we.
  95. Tennant aims for a contemporary version of "The Thin Man," wedding the banter of sparring spouses with sleuth work. To say that he falls short of the mark is understatement.
  96. A lethargic, lurching holiday-themed comedy.
  97. Piously acted, stiffly directed, and infused with a view of world politics that might charitably be described as delusional.
  98. It's getting tiresome, this stuff.
    • Philadelphia Inquirer

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