The Globe and Mail (Toronto)'s Scores

For 3,985 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 46% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 51% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 2.2 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 60
Highest review score: 100 An Education
Lowest review score: 0 Wild Hogs
Score distribution:
3,985 movie reviews
  1. [Lange] does give the movie the only excitement it possesses -- the frisson of a hideous thrill -- but it's still an excruciating embarrassment.
  2. Well-intended but maladroit, with a clever premise and cute animation that are undermined by the trite sci-fi parody plot and manic, unfunny banter.
  3. A film willing to cheat whatever way necessary to scare you... The good news is that once you leave the theatre, you'll never think of Boogeyman again.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Fury is a war movie with balls of steel and marbles for brains.
  4. It’s a chase film, it’s a buddy film, it’s a ridiculous, loud and often offensive romp. Witherspoon’s character is cornball and annoyingly adrenalized – what was she thinking?
  5. When a movie ostensibly on a serious subject is so God-awful silly, is it impossible to be offended, or impossible not to be?
  6. If laughs are the currency of any comedy, then this one pays minimum wage and, worse, makes you work damn hard even for that pittance.
  7. Like a two-bit philosopher working the wrong side of the stone, Howard has managed to turn gold into lead.
  8. Add up these three intentions – the down-and-dirty tone, the tender and uplifting message, the starring vehicle – and the math ain't funny. Bottom line: This movie is a whole lot less than the sum of its parts.
  9. One smart thing Green's character Ezekiel does is split from Sex Drive as soon as his two scenes are over.
  10. What's up with director John McTiernan? The man has got to get a career of his own -- sponging off the pale leavings of Norman Jewison just won't do.
  11. Forgettable.
  12. Instead, you get a nominal character study that boasts a single mighty performance and one nifty scene; alas, both performance and scene exist in a narrative vacuum - the plot is non-existent and the pace makes the ice age seem hasty.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Erased, I predict, is a word that will be used to describe what happens to your memory of this cloned facsimile of a movie immediately after watching it.
  13. This story, like many of Towne's own, does not come with a happy ending. Or beginning, for that matter, because it's almost immediately clear that Ask the Dust bites the dust -- his dream movie is stillborn.
  14. Rambo's return is thick with usual thrills. [26 May 1988, p.C1]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  15. Filled with visual potential, yet Levinson can't tap it. He's just a whole lot more comfortable trying to tame the human software than the technical hardware.
  16. A plot so thin you could filter coffee through it.
  17. It’s hard to argue with the title here – Safe Haven, indeed. This is all about safety in the Hollywood workplace. Why make a movie when making a Hallmark-card-with-dialogue is so much less risky?
  18. Baby Boom has the fluffy amiability of an innocuous sitcom. In their rightful place on the shrunken sets of the small screen, its teeny characters would seem comfortably at home. But blown up to feature dimensions, they betray their flimsy origins, looking thin and transparent, just a bunch of under-considered ideas decked out in over-sized finery. [10 Oct 1987]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  19. I confess to a deep uncertainty about whether this can be rightly called a movie. A bunch of scenes, maybe... I confess to a cynical belief that Lola isn't actually a role but just a succession of costume changes.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    All would be forgiven if Peter were worth believing in. Instead, the boy who wouldn't grow up comes off like a shrill, obnoxious little drip. Shrek should give him a right pounding.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Sure, the food looks good and the prayers are worth hearing, but there just isn't enough wine in the world to tempt the prophet Elijah into dropping by this household when this is the company he'll get.
  20. The high point might be the opening scene, before the stars arrive on screen.
  21. One of those purposefully glum studies in alienation that Hollywood occasionally produces as blue-state specials for disenchanted liberals.
  22. Basic Instinct 2 is double trouble -- the femme is to die for, the film is to die from.
  23. The intriguing thing about The Peaceful Warrior is that nothing else in the movie feels haphazard.
  24. Despite their hackneyed characters, Smith and Lewis create a tiny spark and add a little humour. Without them, Catch and Release would be totally dead in the water.
  25. Isn't so much a movie as a 90-minute Trivial Pursuit contest to name bit players from TV's distant past.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Since the movie has so little conviction, or personality of its own, it's a walk you can easily forget.
  26. Brick Mansions is a non-starter: It chokes on its déjà vu, the hyperactive Mixmaster editing is exhausting and the characters’ banter is so leaden it might violate federal emission standards.
  27. Yes, from "Blonde" to "Bunny," it's abundantly evident that the two scribes have mastered, truly mastered, the serious art of self-plagiarism.
  28. Herbie without the herb has never been my cup of tea.
  29. The result is a curious mix - a picture that simultaneously seems meanderingly loose, affording the cast plenty of performing space, and suffocatingly tight, choking off the audience from any interpretive engagement.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    With its latest, The Quiet Ones, the company continues a tired trend, choosing the trite over the terrifying. The stale tone is struck from the outset with four simple words: “Inspired by actual events.”
    • 39 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    A few striking images keep our attention – like evil warrior Rain (Michelle Rodriguez) seated menacingly with an assault rifle on a playground swing in the 'burbs. But the film's title promises payback, without offering ample compensation.
  30. Meant to explore anger, all this picture does is manufacture it.
  31. It is a disappointment - just intermittently engaging, and lacking the cohesion of his best efforts, it seems less a fully realized feature than a film-school foible. [30 Aug 1996]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  32. The result is a small independent film suffering from a severe case of Hollywood-itis. A cautionary tale minus the caution, Just a Kiss is just a cop-out.
  33. The most disturbing aspect of Cold Creek Manor -- a predictable, disjointed "Cape Fear" knockoff -- is that a script this disjointed and unoriginal could actually get the Hollywood green light.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    The film's putrid sexism is subverted in a series of sharp and funny scenes that at least raise Sorority Boys to the level of "American Pie."
    • 34 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    The narrative is schlocky and groaningly over-familiar, but the film is also uncharacteristically drab visually, with a washed-out colour palette and anemic pacing.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    By throwing herself headfirst into scenes that a more cautious actress might beg off, Green earns herself a citation for valour – a Purple Heart in a movie that’s otherwise way too grim and grey for its own good.
  34. Who wants to watch any film where Sarandon, the sexiest 60-year-old woman alive, is first prize in a corn-eating contest?
  35. Refn’s expectation-defying choice is laudable in theory, but Only God Forgives is a pretty awful drama.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    It is all so intentionally ridiculous that it gets boring, and you just wait for the next big cornball revelation to momentarily jolt you awake, like Sofia Vergara strapping on her machine-gun bra, or Lady Gaga’s appearance as a hit woman. Machete kills, sure. Unfortunately, he overkills.
  36. The movie's dated, stereotypical comedy often contradicts its wholesome intentions, coming across as laboriously cutesy and occasionally perverse.
  37. Don't mean to boast, but I can suspend my disbelief as willingly as any credulous moviegoer. Yet not even an industrial crane would have helped here.
  38. The lower orders seem to have been left out of The Lost City -- there just aren't any poor characters -- which for a movie about a workers' revolution seems downright slipshod.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    The storyline is a sinkhole that swallows up any sense and suspense.
  39. A Michael Bay-branded time-travel fiasco, made for teens and seemingly by them, too.
  40. All the borderline pantomime acting and wigged buffoonery is deliberate and silly, but The Three Musketeers remains charmless, a romp brought down by its lead-footed script.
  41. A twisted, but not particularly clever, black comedy.
  42. With its stilted dialogue, fragments of voice-over and over-busy camera, Red Riding Hood feels off-kilter from the start.
  43. Definition of redundant: A formulaic Hollywood pic that calls itself Déjà Vu.
  44. Scott means for his entertainment package to be hip, hysterical fun. But his stylistic embellishments and indiscriminate appetite for sensation crowds his title character right out of the film.
  45. Despite being set in 1958 Cuba, Havana Nights sticks to the formula. This would be perfectly acceptable if the dancing was "dirtier" and if there was a spark between the young couple.
  46. There are a few laughs at the start of This Is the End, and a couple more at the end of This is the End. As for the endless middle, it’s middling.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Though a few scenes drum up some intensity -- that green ham Gustave makes one last great appearance -- it's mostly grim, dull and ugly, three qualities that nobody wants in a piece of multiplex filler about a surly reptile.
  47. This hunk of celluloid flotsam will come back sooner rather than later, washed up on the remote shelves of your local video store. My advice: shred the message, recycle the bottle.
  48. Some of the most memorable performances from great actors are also their worst: Add to that list Anthony Hopkins's turn as a sinister old Jesuit.
  49. After six years in development, this comedy starring and produced by Adam Sandler feels as slapped together one of the comedian's live-action buddy movies.
  50. The whole d--- thing can be summed up in three little words: yo ho hum.
  51. The United States of Leland has a resonance of "Elephant" without the visual poetry or structural sophistication, or "American Beauty" without the leavening comedy, but it's neither an insightful nor well-made film.
  52. Apparently, somebody thought it was time for a remake. Clearly, somebody was dead wrong.
  53. In the right hands, Good Boy! might have been a ripe bit of mischief. But except for an endless drum roll of fart jokes, what we get is stuffy liberal humanism that would bore the Oshkoshes off Al Gore's littlest nieces and nephews.
  54. By comparison to this effort, "Pineapple Express" seems like a model of thoughtful maturity.
  55. Runner Runner is a bad run of cliché clichés.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Throughout all this, Cage's lazy, dull performance – who knew there were so many ways to express smugness? – is enlivened only by poorly timed bursts of exuberance.
  56. The movie seems much, much longer than its 90-minute running time. [15 June 1998]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  57. Soulless and idiotic and abysmally scripted as it is, Anarchy, like its predecessor, feels mournfully relevant.
  58. For about 20 minutes, Phantoms, based on Dean Koontz's bestseller, keeps you guessing. After that, it barely keeps you awake.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    There’s nothing inherently wrong with kid-friendly Fire & Rescue – the movie offers enough jokes and glitzy animation to capture its target audience as well as a few witty puns for their accompanying adult – it just doesn’t introduce any new ideas or compelling characters, traits that we’ve come to expect from high-level animated films.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Outré love stories are great, as are love stories that make viewers squirm. But they have to ring true emotionally, and despite its talented cast, Adore does not.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    There ain't much to You Got Served, but at least this teensploitation flick is bookended by two frenzied sequences that fully exploit the visual potential of street dancing.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    All the special effects in the universe don't make up for a lame plot, though. There's something foul about a Star Trek movie so apparently slapdash: the creators know that legions of fans will show up, no matter what. [18 Nov. 1994]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  59. Most of the time the film is simply stupid; not offensive, just silly. [03 May 1983]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  60. Spun is so hip it hurts.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Unfortunately, the only thing that dies harder in the movies than natural selection is careworn cliché, and Barry Cook and Neil Nightingale’s movie about a plucky, lovestruck pachyrhinosaurus named Patchi subjects our long defunct earthly ancestors to a fate arguably worse than extinction: a life lived in a world of cheese.
  61. It's difficult to say who is more misguided here: the men (director, screenwriter and producer) who made the movie, or the women who signed on to play the parts.
  62. There are two movies in Superman III, one a witless and obvious and often cruel comic strip, the other a blithe and subtle and often amusing exercise in middle-brow camp. Not only do the two halves never come together, they are in active opposition. [17 June 1983]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  63. Beyond the Reach, adapted from the same Robb White Deathwatch novel that spawned the 1974 Andy Griffith-starring television movie "Savages," is a deadly, desert-set game of cat and mouse that is tired and beyond plausibility.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Here's a movie that tries to be a video game but is less entertaining than a vending machine.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    The monster isn't very interesting (or scary) to look at: he's just an oily, overgrown gremlin.
  64. A plot so preposterous it could only have emerged from the underground comic world.
  65. The manipulative Star Wars-style score is the only novelty on tap in Silverado, which has a plot too drearily complicated and arid to summarize and an attitude almost unbearable in its dryly smirky assurance that it knows what you want from a Western, which is to say, action that never quits, emotion that's never felt, characters that are never real and situations that are never sensible. [10 Jul 1985, p.S7]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  66. Why bother suffering through 90 minutes of bad company for a few moments of holiday cheer? Especially when you can still stay home alone and watch "A Charlie Brown Christmas" somewhere on TV.
  67. Stallone's sequel has almost nothing to do with the original film except that it's about dancing; otherwise, it's Rocky IV with legwarmers. [16 Jul 1983]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  68. They are singing the jingle in the bath, in bed, in the car, ready to send you, like George, smack into a tree.
  69. As for the old and graceful Jackie, he's completely missing in action, his supple talents sacrificed on the high altar of movie technology -- that frenetic place where superheroes are a colossal bore and real ones are sadly impotent.
  70. On the whole, the film is content to lumber awkwardly between the condemned man on death row and the intrepid reporter on his save-a-life beat -- there's about as much rhythm in the style as there is sense in the plot.
  71. Dragonfly has more plot than a figure-skating competition, and just about as much credibility.
  72. To report that Always will make you cry is not esthetically saying much; slicing up onions has the same effect. Leslie Halliwell's one-word summation of the forties version applies to Spielberg's update for the nineties: "icky." [26 Dec. 1989]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  73. W.E. is a heavily made-up face masquerading as a movie and demanding to be admired – demands that might just leave you with an acute pain in the other end.
  74. The cast is equally strong (especially McDonnell), but the vast subject and the shifting settings force Kasdan all over the map. [10 Jan 1992]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  75. The countdown begins with the first negative integer — an amped-up score that overpowers the proceedings like a bad band at a high-school dance.
  76. Another Nicholas Sparks novel, another cinematic brush with insulin shock.
  77. Too much chatting, not enough chills.
  78. As for Keitel, he pops up in a brief cameo as a housing contractor, with a dump-truck full of sand, the one that De Niro is standing right behind. The pair engage in a heated argument, as they once did so memorably those many years ago, and then the truck dumps that load exactly where you know it must. An esteemed actor gets buried but, what-the-fock, the franchise laughs on.
  79. The devil is back in Exorcist: The Beginning, and he is more disgusting than ever. Not more scary, just really yucky, in a kind of maggots-on-a-pizza-slice way.

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