The Globe and Mail (Toronto)'s Scores

  • Movies
For 3,918 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 46% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 51% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 2 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 60
Highest review score: 100 Moolaadé
Lowest review score: 0 Harlem Nights
Score distribution:
3,918 movie reviews
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    A Michael Bay-branded time-travel fiasco, made for teens and seemingly by them, too.
  1. All the borderline pantomime acting and wigged buffoonery is deliberate and silly, but The Three Musketeers remains charmless, a romp brought down by its lead-footed script.
  2. A twisted, but not particularly clever, black comedy.
  3. With its stilted dialogue, fragments of voice-over and over-busy camera, Red Riding Hood feels off-kilter from the start.
  4. Definition of redundant: A formulaic Hollywood pic that calls itself Déjà Vu.
  5. Scott means for his entertainment package to be hip, hysterical fun. But his stylistic embellishments and indiscriminate appetite for sensation crowds his title character right out of the film.
  6. Despite being set in 1958 Cuba, Havana Nights sticks to the formula. This would be perfectly acceptable if the dancing was "dirtier" and if there was a spark between the young couple.
  7. There are a few laughs at the start of This Is the End, and a couple more at the end of This is the End. As for the endless middle, it’s middling.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Though a few scenes drum up some intensity -- that green ham Gustave makes one last great appearance -- it's mostly grim, dull and ugly, three qualities that nobody wants in a piece of multiplex filler about a surly reptile.
  8. This hunk of celluloid flotsam will come back sooner rather than later, washed up on the remote shelves of your local video store. My advice: shred the message, recycle the bottle.
  9. Some of the most memorable performances from great actors are also their worst: Add to that list Anthony Hopkins's turn as a sinister old Jesuit.
  10. After six years in development, this comedy starring and produced by Adam Sandler feels as slapped together one of the comedian's live-action buddy movies.
  11. The whole d--- thing can be summed up in three little words: yo ho hum.
  12. The United States of Leland has a resonance of "Elephant" without the visual poetry or structural sophistication, or "American Beauty" without the leavening comedy, but it's neither an insightful nor well-made film.
  13. Apparently, somebody thought it was time for a remake. Clearly, somebody was dead wrong.
  14. In the right hands, Good Boy! might have been a ripe bit of mischief. But except for an endless drum roll of fart jokes, what we get is stuffy liberal humanism that would bore the Oshkoshes off Al Gore's littlest nieces and nephews.
  15. By comparison to this effort, "Pineapple Express" seems like a model of thoughtful maturity.
  16. Runner Runner is a bad run of cliché clichés.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Throughout all this, Cage's lazy, dull performance – who knew there were so many ways to express smugness? – is enlivened only by poorly timed bursts of exuberance.
  17. The movie seems much, much longer than its 90-minute running time. [15 June 1998]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
    • 50 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Soulless and idiotic and abysmally scripted as it is, Anarchy, like its predecessor, feels mournfully relevant.
  18. For about 20 minutes, Phantoms, based on Dean Koontz's bestseller, keeps you guessing. After that, it barely keeps you awake.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    There’s nothing inherently wrong with kid-friendly Fire & Rescue – the movie offers enough jokes and glitzy animation to capture its target audience as well as a few witty puns for their accompanying adult – it just doesn’t introduce any new ideas or compelling characters, traits that we’ve come to expect from high-level animated films.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Outré love stories are great, as are love stories that make viewers squirm. But they have to ring true emotionally, and despite its talented cast, Adore does not.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    There ain't much to You Got Served, but at least this teensploitation flick is bookended by two frenzied sequences that fully exploit the visual potential of street dancing.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    All the special effects in the universe don't make up for a lame plot, though. There's something foul about a Star Trek movie so apparently slapdash: the creators know that legions of fans will show up, no matter what. [18 Nov. 1994]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  19. Most of the time the film is simply stupid; not offensive, just silly. [03 May 1983]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  20. Spun is so hip it hurts.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Unfortunately, the only thing that dies harder in the movies than natural selection is careworn cliché, and Barry Cook and Neil Nightingale’s movie about a plucky, lovestruck pachyrhinosaurus named Patchi subjects our long defunct earthly ancestors to a fate arguably worse than extinction: a life lived in a world of cheese.
  21. It's difficult to say who is more misguided here: the men (director, screenwriter and producer) who made the movie, or the women who signed on to play the parts.
  22. There are two movies in Superman III, one a witless and obvious and often cruel comic strip, the other a blithe and subtle and often amusing exercise in middle-brow camp. Not only do the two halves never come together, they are in active opposition. [17 June 1983]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Beyond the Reach, adapted from the same Robb White Deathwatch novel that spawned the 1974 Andy Griffith-starring television movie "Savages," is a deadly, desert-set game of cat and mouse that is tired and beyond plausibility.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Here's a movie that tries to be a video game but is less entertaining than a vending machine.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    The monster isn't very interesting (or scary) to look at: he's just an oily, overgrown gremlin.
  23. A plot so preposterous it could only have emerged from the underground comic world.
  24. The manipulative Star Wars-style score is the only novelty on tap in Silverado, which has a plot too drearily complicated and arid to summarize and an attitude almost unbearable in its dryly smirky assurance that it knows what you want from a Western, which is to say, action that never quits, emotion that's never felt, characters that are never real and situations that are never sensible. [10 Jul 1985, p.S7]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  25. Why bother suffering through 90 minutes of bad company for a few moments of holiday cheer? Especially when you can still stay home alone and watch "A Charlie Brown Christmas" somewhere on TV.
  26. Stallone's sequel has almost nothing to do with the original film except that it's about dancing; otherwise, it's Rocky IV with legwarmers. [16 Jul 1983]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  27. They are singing the jingle in the bath, in bed, in the car, ready to send you, like George, smack into a tree.
  28. As for the old and graceful Jackie, he's completely missing in action, his supple talents sacrificed on the high altar of movie technology -- that frenetic place where superheroes are a colossal bore and real ones are sadly impotent.
  29. On the whole, the film is content to lumber awkwardly between the condemned man on death row and the intrepid reporter on his save-a-life beat -- there's about as much rhythm in the style as there is sense in the plot.
  30. Dragonfly has more plot than a figure-skating competition, and just about as much credibility.
  31. To report that Always will make you cry is not esthetically saying much; slicing up onions has the same effect. Leslie Halliwell's one-word summation of the forties version applies to Spielberg's update for the nineties: "icky." [26 Dec. 1989]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  32. W.E. is a heavily made-up face masquerading as a movie and demanding to be admired – demands that might just leave you with an acute pain in the other end.
  33. The cast is equally strong (especially McDonnell), but the vast subject and the shifting settings force Kasdan all over the map. [10 Jan 1992]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  34. The countdown begins with the first negative integer — an amped-up score that overpowers the proceedings like a bad band at a high-school dance.
  35. Another Nicholas Sparks novel, another cinematic brush with insulin shock.
  36. Too much chatting, not enough chills.
  37. As for Keitel, he pops up in a brief cameo as a housing contractor, with a dump-truck full of sand, the one that De Niro is standing right behind. The pair engage in a heated argument, as they once did so memorably those many years ago, and then the truck dumps that load exactly where you know it must. An esteemed actor gets buried but, what-the-fock, the franchise laughs on.
  38. The devil is back in Exorcist: The Beginning, and he is more disgusting than ever. Not more scary, just really yucky, in a kind of maggots-on-a-pizza-slice way.
  39. A cinematic homage as flawed as its subject. Flawed, yet with a peculiar fascination of its own -- what we have is a genuine artist paying sincere tribute to an unapologetic mediocrity, and stooping awkwardly to the task.
  40. Admittedly, it's been a long time since Kelly McGillis was being hyped as "the next Grace Kelly." But of all the films in all the world for whom the former Top Gun lust object could have done a walk-on, this lacklustre haunted-house feature is the one she chooses?
  41. None of this is funny enough to justify stealing 90 minutes of your viewing time.
  42. An underdog's breakfast of a movie, with some quite funny characters and set pieces mixed with some excruciating "moral lessons," but at least it moves along at a brisk pace.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Cranked up at double speed, the plot of Flashdance could almost be a satirical fantasy about dance students. Although Flashdance doesn't admit it's a fantasy, neither does it succeed in looking realistic. [16 Apr 1983, p.E5]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  43. Bad Teacher should be a hoot. But it isn't. Love the theory here, hate the practice.
  44. A few early laughs scattered around a plot as thin as it is repetitious. There's talent in this picture, both before and behind the camera, but virtually none of it gets on the screen.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    If the art of a true hustler is, as Joe puts it, "beating a man out of his money and making him like it," Callahan blows it big-time with any mark who shells out to see his film.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Like kudzu vine, killer bees and herpes, we may never be rid of it.
  45. Made of Honor should come with a bar code and a Wal-Mart display - this isn't a movie, it's a commodity. The generic brand is the romantic comedy, and the manufacturer's material of choice is recycled plastic, smoothly glued together to assure the consumer that the purchase is risk-free and thoroughly predictable.
  46. The weak plot means that the picture is governed totally by its gadgetry, the equivalent of those James Bond sequels that limp awkwardly from one showoff sequence to the next. [10 May 1991]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  47. Characters already too wicked to be credible start doing stuff simply too stupid to be believed, with no help from a cast way too overmatched to be useful.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Most of The Fog will seem drearily perfunctory even to those viewers who don't know Carpenter's version, which itself emulated the elegant gloom of Val Lewton's horror pics of the 1940s.
  48. While the pale skin tones (bronzer is selectively applied) and haphazard mix of American and British accents is distracting, it barely scratches the surface of Exodus’s ungainly artificiality.
  49. It transforms that bottom line into a saccharine border, framing the picture with enough faux inspiration to keep Hallmark in cards for a month of Mother's Days. [03 Jun 1994]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  50. With the performers given zilch to perform, the result is a picture that's all chassis and no engine, or, in the parlance of the genre, a bunch of pointy hats in search of a transporting broomstick.
  51. It's possible to insult even a teenager's intelligence.
  52. The problem is that director Wayne Wang seems deaf to the tonal differences between coming-of-age, magic realism and children's comedy.
  53. Empire is just too intent on living up to its imperial name -- colonizing other defenceless movies, plundering their rich natural resources, and leaving us all to feel rather cruelly violated. A postscript: Somebody here -- I'm not saying who -- dies. And still keeps on talking.
  54. In lieu of a movie, we get a series of car chases rudely interrupted by the occasional smattering of dialogue.
  55. Smith and Lawrence enjoyed some amusing chemistry in the '95 original, but their molecules sure aren't jibing here. It's a full hour into this behemoth before there's anything resembling a belly laugh.
  56. This briefly inspired bit of surreality quickly descends into gratuitous bondage, mayhem and dumb humour, marking the usual progression from mildly absurd premise to gratingly idiotic conclusion.
  57. If it weren't for Mo'Nique's fresh, appealing screen presence, Phat Girlz would fall flat.
  58. A crashing bore.
  59. Highlander's flashy style is the cinematic equivalent of a Las Vegas chorus line: always kicking. Without Lambert, who displays an unexpected comic talent along with intensely photogenic passive-aggressive eyes, and Roxanne Hart, whose knowledgeable portrayal of a New York detective is undercut by the symphony of screams extracted from her toward the end, and Connery, who wears a pearl-drop earring and is supposed to be Spanish but still has the burr and brio of James Bond, Highlander would be little more than an everlasting video; it's not much more than that, as it is. [10 Mar 1986, p.C9]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
  60. Dull Blade just doesn't cut it.
  61. Both syrupy and scatological, this is a typical family-dividing Sandler comedy: Parents will hate it but the kids will delight in its rudeness.
  62. Candy and Moranis are real talents, but they're completely wasted, like everyone else here, sacrificed to the grade-school inanities of that self-indulgent script. [26 Jun 1987, p.D6]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
    • 31 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    If TMNT the franchise is going to reach the same lofty heights of blockbuster-dom, it still needs to find its own inner hero.
  63. While computer games can boast an abundance of nifty graphics and odious villains and plucky protagonists on long journeys, they're invariably a tad wanting in the cinematic essentials -- you know, stuff like plot and characterization and theme.
  64. Some films, like some people, wear their artsy pretensions on their sleeve, and there really isn't much going on beneath – it's just a posturing armband wrapped around a plain arm. Welcome, then, to the emptiness of Mister Lonely, a movie that goes to extraordinary lengths to say ordinary things.
  65. Norbit is pretty much a bad-taste sinkhole.
  66. A lamentably slack and dishonest genre exercise.
  67. It wants to make an important political statement, which might have been dandy if it had anything remotely cogent to say.
  68. About the only fun to be had in the movie is screenwriter Alan McElroy's cartoon spook-speak.
  69. Virtue aside, however, Red Tails is a lousy film. Not wincingly bad, mind you, just mediocre.
  70. A lightweight flick about a heavy-duty subject, A Dark Truth plays like a TV movie back in the days when TV wasn't worth watching.
  71. All of this is interesting, but not all that entertaining.
  72. Very little of it works.
  73. Valuable life lessons always come at a steep price, and this one is no exception. Sorry, but you'll have to shell out for The Divide and then suffer through its nearly two hours of bloody inanities. Weigh the balance, make your choice.
  74. [Law] talks straight to the camera like the young Michael Caine, but this time our hunk has got zilch to say. That's because a bastard's candour is off-limits in today's politically correct market — it just wouldn't be polite.
  75. Pretty much what you'd expect -- just another haunted house that happens to float.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    One of Blomkamp’s most unlikely conceits is a machine – apparently standard-issue in all of Elysium’s made-to-order McMansions – that can heal all injuries and infections at the flick of a switch. He could have used one to fix Elysium’s battered and broken screenplay.
  76. By then, the lofty ambitions can't disguise the sad reality - it's long, it's cluttered, and it's trite.
  77. What we have here is a romp, a funny romp at times, with a clear satiric intent and the expected quota of outrageous style - likable enough, yes, but a rather flimsy thing, a zany fest with its mind on cruise control. [17 June 1994]
    • The Globe and Mail (Toronto)
    • 54 Metascore
    • 38 Critic Score
    Anyone who has seen "Dream Girls," "What's Love Got To Do With It?" or even "The Doors" will find themselves in familiar (if inferior) territory here.
  78. Before immediately handing the movie an F and sending it off to summer school, give the filmmakers, and especially co-star Jason Schwartzman, credit for their anarchic willingness to try anything to shock a laugh loose from an audience.
  79. Both cautionary and comforting (yes, some kids today prefer conversation to cybersexting), Men, Women & Children is as anxious to seem contemporary as any after-school special.
  80. After a while, it begins to feel like a confused comedy: How to explain to the neighbours that your dead husband has moved back home?
  81. Over on the aliens side, it's hard to make out faces, but there's no doubt about their place of origin: These slimy, growling, bug-eyed and distinctly non-scary things are straight from central casting.

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