Desson Thomson

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For 1,685 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 48% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 50% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 2.8 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Desson Thomson's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 60
Highest review score: 100 Night and the City
Lowest review score: 0 The Devil's Own
Score distribution:
1685 movie reviews
    • 40 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    A well-intentioned, reverential but unenlightening portrait. It pays tribute to the artist. Yet it doesn't scrutinize him.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    After a promising beginning and an amusing middle, the movie gets stuck in limbo.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Despite an appealing, even ingenious premise, "Scorpion" is another quippy but uninspired comedy.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Here's my favorite part: It's only 87 minutes long. But for the most part, this movie is just another bland, fair-to-middling vehicle for two emerging, fledgling stars.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    An adolescent romance that isn't smart enough to mirror "When Harry Met Sally" or crudely amusing enough to get close to "American Pie."
    • 28 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The humor works beautifully until Marshall decides to beat the comedy over the head and drum us, once again, with this relentless message: "Mentally challenged people in love say the darndest things!"
    • 68 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The scenes of destruction-apart from being great to watch-provide much-needed relief from these people's unidimensional banalities.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    It's a warm bath experience, soap-sudsed with sentimentality, improbability and other storytelling misdemeanors.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Enough to make any thinking person want to shoot a hole in the screen.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The film feels inauthentic, a cardboard version of other epics that's cast for distribution to various world markets.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    With the exception of Burton's jolting sight gags (I may never recover from the vision of Parker's head grafted on to the body of a chihuahua), the comedy is half-developed, pedestrian material. And the climactic battle between Earthlings and Martians is dull and overextended.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Feels more like an overblown TV special than a grand theatrical release.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Unaccompanied Minors, a sort of junior league version of "The Breakfast Club," never achieves the universal appeal of John Hughes's 1985 film about youth and authority.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    A darkly interesting distraction but not much more.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Winter Passing is one dull, extended encounter session among hackneyed characters -- although Deschanel gets the most points for almost imitating a human.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Trust me, you'll want to leave these people to get on with their tedious scams alone.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    This is definitely a family trip to stay home and skip.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The best thing about Murder at 1600? Speed of exposition. Directed by Dwight Little, who made Steven Seagalís "Marked for Death," this thing whizzes from one unbelievable story point to the next. Your suspension of disbelief appreciates the momentum, if nothing else.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    While Phenomenon attempts, tritely, to ascend into mind-blowing significance, it also plummets into a pit of sentimental mush.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The documentary never gets more than skin deep. It rarely delves into the troubling regions that are the very orchards of documentary.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The special twist-which Paramount Pictures has implored critics not to divulge-redefines the story completely. It also ruins everything.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    We find ourselves wondering about the real story, not this version.
    • 80 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Speaking of jail, "Shawshank"-the-movie seems to last about half a life sentence. The story, chiefly about the 20-year friendship between Freeman and Robbins, becomes incarcerated in its own labyrinthine sentimentality.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Too lightweight and streamlined to be memorable.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Just like "Bad Boys," only louder, longer and the stars get paid more.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    How can you celebrate a movie in which Zellweger doesn't soar but simply avoids disaster?
    • 51 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    With The Baxter, Showalter's begging his way into the ranks of the safe and the mediocre.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    It is the verdict of this court that it be led to a stockade reserved exclusively for cheap, pandering movies and duly shot.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The movie is going to be fine for PG-ready audiences, assuming they don't have a problem with extremely predictable story turns.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Andre Benjamin, Woody Harrelson, Maura Tierney and David Koechner -- all talented -- seem amazingly zombie-like here. And Jackie Earle Haley, as a stoner fan of the Tropics, is more disconcerting than funny.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Even in his poorest work (i.e., this movie), director Jarmusch retains an appealing sense of experimentation. He fills his movies with those clumsy, unhurried moments between people. But in Night on Earth, with five vignettes to get through, he's forced to create faster, more sketchlike pieces. He's just not up to the task. Nor do performers Winona Ryder, Isaach De Bankole, Roberto Benigni and others pick up the improvisational ball.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    I suggest you RSVP in the negative to this "Wedding" invitation, unless you consider yourself a friend of the obvious bride to be, Ms. Lopez. But even then, you'll have to focus on her presence, rather than the silly ceremony around her.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    A movie that jumps between two worlds can be a powerful experience, as any fan of "The Wizard of Oz," "Back to the Future" or "The Terminator" can tell you. But this phoned-in epic is simply a celebration of the inauthentic.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The movie's too slick and obvious about its intentions.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    For the most part, the movie's a bland disappointment, on many levels.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Enjoyable in some places, but dreadful in others. It's boring here and exciting there. And it's almost always goofy.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    We know the story will conclude with a crescendo of frozen-north hallelujahs. Cheering is endemic to Disney. They can't help themselves.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    For those who simply want to drink in the northern Italian countryside and Tyler's physical details, it's quite an experience. But as a story, Stealing Beauty (which Bertolucci wrote with Susan Minot) is a misbegotten, sentimental reunion with old European cinema.
    • 78 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The plot becomes so overextended, as Reeves and Hopper wage their endless public transportation battle, even the hardest Die-Harders will consider leaping off way before the final stop.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Isn't appropriate for any innocent child -- assuming such lovely creatures still exist. But boys and girls who enjoy surprise attacks in their entertainment (of the aforementioned toilet variety) are going to have a blast. Sad but true.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Sentinel is a medium-dumb thriller that starts out with momentary promise but gets progressively sillier.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The relation between Constantine and its source material is, at best, superfluous.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    It is likely to disappoint more people than creator George Lucas would have liked.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Some of it is funny in a Zucker brothers slapstick way. And as the Man's geeky lieutenant, Chris Kattan has some amusingly kooky business. But there's not enough to sustain the comedy. Ultimately, the movie's short running time becomes its finest quality.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Feels like "Alien" as directed by Jim Henson. And the suspense is restricted to mundane slasher-movie tactics, including the frequent use of a mobile camera (call it the ’condacam) that’s supposed to represent the snake’s point of view.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    There's nothing to stir us, no scene to savor for life -- such as the father-son battle between Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader in "The Empire Strikes Back." Back then, we were watching a classic, still the best film in the series. This time, we're watching just another "Star Wars" flick.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The more the movie progresses, the more you realize how much Seinfeld's voice sounds like a droning bee -- the kind you want to swat away.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    It's just respectable trash, and a dress rehearsal for better things ahead.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Despite all the life-threatening situations, warrior deaths and heroic feats, it's hard to get behind characters who feel like lazy archetypes.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The best thing about this movie? It's short.
    • 83 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Mulholland Drive is an extended mood opera, if you want to put an arty label on incoherence.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The trouble is, this is Hartley all over again. What seemed cutting edge and sharp in the 1990s -- the smart-alecky references to obscure filmmakers (Werner Herzog, Andrei Konchalovsky), the self-mocking tone in the actors' voices, the overall sense that this movie is subverting itself -- feels rehashed and old.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    This is all about getting your life back on course before you can fall in love. Which isn't such a bad idea for a movie, as long as there's something more. Unfortunately, there isn't.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Ultimately, Brothers is a flashy, stylistic show of emptiness, intended to protest emptiness. But that's clear almost from the outset.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Director and co-writer James Marsh clearly thinks he has made a grim and telling satire about fundamentalist hypocrisy. But he and co-writer Milo Addica display such contempt for their characters and religious conviction in general, they reduce everything to one-note banality.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Despite a glut of luridness, the story line feels essentially flat, as Keitel stumbles through New York in an immoral, unchanging haze. It is only the strength of Keitel's performance that gives his personality human dimension.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    There'd be nothing wrong with this if the film 'fessed up to its kitschy soul. Instead, it pretends to be the high-minded drama it's not.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The movie spares no effort to reach out to the crudest, youngest audiences it can.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The movie's gentle and friendly, but nowhere close to exciting. It would be hard to believe that anyone involved with this production --considers Snow Dogs anything more than phoned-in business as usual.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Never the magic charmer it sets out to be.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    This adaptation of James Hadley Chase's "Just Another Sucker" isn't so bad you'd want to roast it over the coals, but it ain't much good either.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    A respectable effort that doesn't care to do more than course smoothly and effortlessly through familiar waters.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    For all the filmmakers' efforts, this project is something of an artistic albatross. It's a conundrum that doesn't get answered until a sort of help-the-audience Cliffs Notes final scene, in which we learn Everything. But by then, more than a few of us may be wondering, was it all really worth the trouble?
    • 31 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Cutesy in the television sitcom sense.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    This movie is a particular disappointment. Although The Seeker is in Walden's tradition of positive storytelling, John Hodge's script is guilty of downright goofy utterances on occasion.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    This is for the pre-converted, certainly not the left, or even those who consider themselves detached observers.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Has its sinfully funny moments. Funny, that is, if you appreciate a certain cynical clamminess -- or Buck Henry seediness -- to your comedy.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Just a few more tweaks and Crossover could have been something special -- a truly terrible movie to savor for the ages. But nooo, this street ball movie -- has to settle for middle-of-the-road badness.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The movie makes an over-long deal about Jody's immaturity and never seems to get beyond it.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The trouble with Goal!, which -- horror of horrors -- is the first of a trilogy, is that it's neither a persuasive story nor a satisfying display of soccer.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Williams is hardly at his comically inventive best. And the script (adapted by Chris Van Allsburg, and a string of others, from his book) pursues the least exciting avenues possible.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    A violence-intoxicated, far-fetched, morally corrupt drama.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Strikes an unsatisfying balance between serious romantic texture and outright farce.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    At what point in the movie is it too late to ask for your money back?
    • 51 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Nothing like the sight of thousands of scuttling, hideous, practically indestructible insects crawling up the sides of a fortress, hellbent on destroying the human race. As they keep coming and coming, they’re the only things in this movie earning your money.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    You are allowed to come up with a monster we haven't seen before.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Some of it is funny -- particularly the physical comedy. Most of it is not.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The film amounts to a harsh and perpetual assault on viewers' sensibilities -- not only because of its violence but because of its overall bleakness.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Flagging energy isn't the only issue here; Ford has become enslaved in his own cliches.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    An overextended, episodic disappointment.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Overwritten, overextended and clunkily symbolic
    • 76 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    The movie’s disappointingly straightforward, with no discernible flair.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    I can only bestow this adaptation of Joanne Harris's bestselling novel with such faint praise as "pleasant" and "mildly disarming."
    • 38 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Tries -- and fails -- to evoke that whoa-did-this-really-happen edge.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Although the movie has a few interesting twists and turns, its mind-versus-mind conceit devolves into a mundane warden-versus-inmate conclusion.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    CQ
    A charming, spirited movie for cinephiles, or those who aspire to be. It's the kind of movie every kid in film school wanted to make but didn't have the father to produce.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Although it has moments of charm and poignancy -- this is one of Glenn Close's best hours -- the scheme and scope of the movie are just too darned obvious.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Though Philip Haas's digitally shot film has the firsthand immediacy of such nonfictional docs as "Iraq in Fragments" and "Gunner Palace," its dramatic template feels disappointingly secondhand.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Desson Thomson
    Unfortunately, apart from Downey's convincing contribution, the movie feels too contrived, stagy and inorganic to draw any pleasure.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 37 Desson Thomson
    Slickers II is grounds for a stampede -- away from the theater.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 37 Desson Thomson
    There are a few sight gags that might amuse the kids, but for the most part, the computer-generated effects are highly disappointing.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 37 Desson Thomson
    Presumably, there's a poignant story to be told about the love between 19th-century poets Paul Verlaine and Arthur Rimbaud. But Agnieszka Holland's Total Eclipse, a pretentious, flat affair, starring Leonardo DiCaprio as Rimbaud and David Thewlis as Verlaine, is not the film to pull it off.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A second-rate romantic comedy.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Never did sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll seem more shopworn and routine.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's a soap opera posing as moral outrage.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Seems to avoid any kind of edgy, precedent-making attitude, some point of view that feels charged, divisive and consequently alive.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    With no real comedy to enjoy, it's torture to watch Diesel undergo a predictable change from emotionless soldier to loving family man. Makes you want to spit out your pacifier in disgust.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It sinks so deep and fast, you don't even see bubbles on the surface.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A cold, protracted and unemotional affair.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    In Chaos Theory, Reynolds's performance is taut, crabby and tense. And his beard and glasses, which intensify those already narrow eyes, suggest a mad bomb-builder rather than a hapless soul with whom we can identify.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The exuberance of the Rugrats seems nullified by the effete quirkiness of the Thornberrys.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    While director Aronofsky pistol-whips your attention with his style, the characters (mostly relegated to human mannequins in Aronofsky's visual schemes) suffer big time.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The film oozes sentimentality, soap-opera bathos and clumsy cribbings from the Frank Capra book of small-town values. Those are its good points.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It just doesn't work...This isn't a blend of modern and classic so much as a collision.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This movie just doesn't match its predecessors.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The movie doesn't have the energy to be truly horrible. It's too muted and enervated. But it's a somewhat tedious thing to sit through.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The inside story is weak, dull and head-poundingly boring, and the outside story is only slightly better, thanks to the lukewarm likability of its two stars.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    You'll be rooting for these people to get slaughtered out of sheer boredom.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Although the movie has its moments, it's a tearjerker that jerks too hard.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Hollywood Homicide is about murder, all right: the wholesale slaughter of anything funny, original or even vaguely logical.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The suspense is laughably absent.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    That mind-bending, mystical business was better handled in such films as 1990's "Jacob's Ladder."
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    xXx
    Essentially a dumb guy's day in Heaven. The movie's retrofitted with stunts, fights, explosions, drugs, babes and cars -- not necessarily in that order.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    At best, the movie is a problematic chamber piece; at worst, a misdirected, slightly misanthropic pretension.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A fascinating premise. And yet, the movie, directed by Bruce Beresford, never quite blooms.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    May be ambitious in its genre-defying abandon, sideswiping science fiction, satire, film noir and melodrama along the way, but it's also exasperatingly convoluted, self-amused and politically sophomoric.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    These dramatic shortfalls make us merely worried that two human beings are in danger, but not two compelling souls. There's your missing ingredient, the human X-factor.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There are some very funny passing lines, but the movie's too uneven to enjoy.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There were moments when I thought Gone in 60 Seconds might be a passably entertaining movie. I figure those moments, strung end-to-end, would total 30 or 40 seconds.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Feels like a manufactured Asian "Chocolat," which drives the label 'art house movie' even further into mainstream banality.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This movie is about the worst thing Chan has done in the United States.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Why sit through a lesser imitation, when you could just rent "Heathers" and those other movies for a far more enjoyable time? Drop-dead bitchery? Been there, done that.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The script's a plodder, and the acting's unbearably stilted. The movie's intentions are like the starry constellations that inspire the eponymous hero: out of reach.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's hard to tell if this thing's serious or parody and, if it is parody, whether or not it's intentional. Is it a winky joke, for instance, to have lightweight performer George Hamilton as Pacino's business attorney, or just ridiculous casting? Hamilton's performance points to the latter.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    All fire-and-brimstone bunk, a tired compendium of involuntary crucifixions, grim messages carved into human flesh, fly buzzings, ominous choral chants on the soundtrack and at least one head twisting.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There's no question the movie's entertaining. But the blatantly schematic depictions of black and white, liberal and hawk, and other tiresome dichotomies turn A Time to Kill into the moral equivalent of a cockfight.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Even by Disney's formulaic standards -- is about as cut and dried as the phone book.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Best news: over in 87 minutes.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This movie is all pretty faces and six-pack abs, but no characters. All surface and no soul. Come to think of it, the surface isn't so darned hot either.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Penn, who also wrote the script, burdens the story with so many self-indulgent side developments that he loses emotional drive and Freddy's desperate obsession gets lost in the shuffle.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    But when mechanical plots are a drama's main engine, we look for something else to divert us, preferably good comedy. That's in short supply, unfortunately. And it's no fun to sit through the movie's retread Woody Allenisms.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Fractured, tentative, oh-so-artsy and very much in the style of Wong's previous Hong Kong-set boy-meets-girl movies. But this time, the effect is contrived: a star-driven pseudo-indie affair that will please neither celebrity worshipers nor cineastes.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Although Ryan is cannily cast against type, she doesn't bring much more than muttery incoherence and nudity to the role.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A Mexican movie in which the outcome is never in doubt, the scenes are endless -- sorry, we meant poetic-- and the false beard on the central character's face looks as though it could use a little extra gum.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There's nothing to recommend about this film except its sheer innocuousness. And Bill Murray's off-screen voicing as Garfield adds no "Robin Williams" element to the movie.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Doubling duties as director and cinematographer, Peter Hyams seems to have tossed the former for the latter. The Presidio, purported cop thriller, looks great. It is, in fact, less filling. The maker of "Outland" and "2010" infuses a San Francisco setting with evocative misty grays, but screenwriter Larry Ferguson's dull doings hang thicker than smog.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    About as funny as malaria.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Let's wait for a movie where they do get it all right: story, acting and dancing. It'll happen, just not this time.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Awash in hackneyed old-time secrets and hydrophobic metaphor, never consumes us as it should.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A jarring amalgam of sitcom goofiness and uncomfortable ooginess.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Unfortunately, the drama operates on a see-through, easily shatterable metaphor: the frigidity of the WASP soul. [17 October 1997, p.N32]
    • Washington Post
    • 63 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    To introduce an archetype like this to western audiences -- as the world weathers culturally and religiously demonizing times -- may have been worth this whole flawed movie. Too bad the story didn't just start with him.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's too bad the filmmakers didn't take a breath, look at the rushes and see what a comedic gem they had. With just a few tweaks, The Merry Gentleman could have made a wickedly funny parody of the over-earnest, lyrically hard-edged indie movie. But it's too late for do-overs.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Equally earnest and unconvincing.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Gets more operatically farcical (most of it unintentionally so) by the minute.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There's a little too much over-the-top drama, as well as superfluous detail, in this Icelandic film.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Fails because of its gratuitous rape and violence and also because of its pretentious and intellectually one-dimensional grounds, which make the violence at the end feel even worse.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Soccer needs this movie like Georgia needed "Deliverance."
    • 73 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Roll past this casino.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The kid chews up the scenery like a baby T-Rex, egged on, no doubt, by director Agresti.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Dull, plodding comedy.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Has so little going for it, you wonder if you've missed something.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Allen, who's a natural charmer, seems to be at half-strength here.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It may give many viewers a licentious flutter, but the highbrow ingredient -- although it desperately wants to be there -- is missing.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Intended as a fuzzy family fable, "August" plays more to the gag reflex than to the heart, especially when our little orphan starts playing the guitar like a virtuoso after what seems like a three-minute tutorial.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Becomes a strung-together collection of interesting, semi-interesting, boring and sometimes embarrassing (seemingly improvised) moments from the cast.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Dramatically and conceptually, the movie sits there, flat, naked and trying too hard with too little.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    After introducing a provocative opening, the movie settles in for some pretty cheap scare effects, as well as by-the-numbers computer graphic imagery for the actual marauder.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Saw
    But humans who live above ground, including horror fans, will find themselves only fitfully entertained and more consistently appalled.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Everything is tearful confessions, angry interrogations and breakups. But there's nothing underneath.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The actual movie is the cinematic equivalent of cheap Chinese egg rolls: all flour and cabbage shreds, maybe half a nibble of pork.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    After 9/11, few of us look at terrorist acts casually. It's insulting to watch this grandiloquent pornography, using shock value and Hollywood cliche to evoke poignancy.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    If you're going to make a gross-out comedy you can't just be gross. You've got to be to be funny as well, or the movie will be DOA. Which is why Eurotrip should be toe-tagged and shoved into the deepest and coldest of video vaults.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There's something secondhand about everything here. Hoge (this is his debut) seems to be mimicking the tone and fabric of other, better indie movies.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Has its moments. In fact, it has too many of them. At 2 hours and 20 minutes and with enough characters to take up a few floors at a big hotel, it feels about an act too long.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    If ever there was a movie fit for permanent entombment, it's this sequel.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Maybe they should have called A Love Song for Bobby Long something more appropriately descriptive, such as "When Actors Imitating Southern Characters Go Bad."
    • 22 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    As if aware that Congo is the least interesting adventure ever filmed, screenwriter John Patrick Shanley (who once wrote a funny movie called "Moonstruck") tries to inoculate the activities with humor.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's difficult to concentrate on the story. Not that there's much to concentrate on anyway.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's too manufactured and deliberate to be persuasive.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Newman's cuteness aside, this movie feels long-winded.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's hard to imagine an audience that won't break up in laughter at this bewildering mixed message: Enjoy this movie, but you really shouldn't be watching it.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    So taken with its own love of cinema, it forgets to lead you down the necessary dramaturgical path to make you fall in love, too.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Too long winded and dull.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Head-scratchingly ordinary, given Schwarzenegger's need to prove he's still a virile (i.e., non-aging) action hero.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The mawkishness is ultimately too formidable.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Uninspired baseball romance.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Stumbles mindlessly in all directions.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's about as deep as electronic white noise.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    McConaughey remains more buffed than compelling. He's not helped by a two-hour convolution of episodes that are too busy imitating other, better movies.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    One-dimensional archetypes, too much predictability and not enough comedy.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Sometimes in horror movies, bad acting is effective, its very woodenness contributing to the sense of robotic horror. That ain't happening here. These guys are just bad actors.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    No darn good.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Even by its own please-the-mob standards, this movie is lacking.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Laugh? I thought I'd never start.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Absolutely awesome in its relentless mediocrity.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    By introducing silly elements into a serious endeavor, the filmmakers undercut their own movie. In the end, we're watching a somewhat exploitative movie about exploitation.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A special-effects extravaganza that uses the barest of excuses to bring these characters together.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The movie comes across as a political science course videotape rather than a movie to fully engage a general audience.
    • 7 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Like Nate, we are mere Notties. And we are supposed to feel oh-so privileged for getting to watch Paris through the glass.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    At its worst (and this is where Made of Honor comes in), it can leave you with a bad taste, not just in your mouth but in your soul.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The gags are physical but rarely funny.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This ethnic family sitcom thing is rapidly turning into wearisome cliche, and American Chai doesn't hold a candle to either "Beckham" or "Greek Wedding."
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This is a one-note deal, and it doesn't take long before you want to, well, just move out and leave these characters in their rent-controlled limbo.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Director Howard is so mesmerized by the flames, he squirts formulaic lighter fluid over everything. A conflagration of hyped-up movie cliches, courtesy of George Lucas's Industrial Light & Magic special effects shop, scalds your face.
    • 79 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    We're really celebrating Hollywood's freedom to create biographies of anyone, no matter how high or low on the social ladder, and still come up with the same banal characteristics, messages and conclusions. In this sense, The People vs. Larry Flynt doesn't champion, so much as squander, freedom of speech.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Producer-for-Life George Lucas puts his awesome creative machinery to work in Willow, a would-be adventure of little people, big people, good guys and bad. But the fantasy wheels grind to a halt, bogged down in Lucas' flat, derivative story, and not helped in the least by director Ron Howard's clumsy steering.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The film degenerates into an overly simplistic satire -- with moon-worshiping, Guatemala-visiting, lesbian aborters on one side, and fetally obsessive, meat-eating, gun-toting Jesus worshipers on the other.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    An overwrought gangster fable.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The story is more undead than all of these revenant shufflers. And the orgy of gore and home-engineered special effects doesn't make up for the shortfall.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A secondhand action movie that retreads all the tired staples of the 1980s and '90s.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's a glossified, cluttered parody of itself. Almodovar is no longer a burlesque auteur. He's a repeat offender.
    • 13 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's gotten to the point where Gooding's presence on a marquee practically guarantees we'll be bashing our heads against the seat in front of us. Bonk, bonk, bonk.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Should we really be so moved and uplifted that a horny, ignorant young man begins to join the human race? Not when our voice of conscience is an off-screen filmmaker issuing pseudo-profound, and ultimately banal, pronouncements about the true nature of love and seduction.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Unfortunately, The Man makes the mistake of assuming casting is all it takes to make a good comedy.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This movie is a predictable, gruesome piece of business.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The story, which features an apparently lobotomized Guy Pearce as an opportunistic explorer and hunter who learns the errors of his ways, is deeply dull.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Sadly, this movie is a far cry from the atmospheric, even thoughtfully crafted original, which made you truly scared for the unkempt, everyman victims. But this latest version, though just as grisly, is literally hackwork, and stars a forgettable, airbrushed cast of slaughterees.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The film's moral commentary is De Palma redux: same old Brian enjoying the peeping, bringing us into the guilt zone, then saying shame on all of us.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Weitz co-directed the wonderful "About a Boy" in 2002, but in "Dreamz" -- a tediously facile satire -- his comic instincts fail him.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Much of the movie -- which Murphy wrote with a small posse of collaborators -- is taken up with the torturously dull, not to mention unbelievable, romance between Norbit and Kate (a disappointingly lackluster Newton) and the tedious agenda of Cuba Gooding Jr. as a schemer-manipulator.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Could have been a sensation if a director with a smidgen of moviemaking instinct had taken the helm.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Angel-A is counterfeit art-house chic writ large -- a French film that fails to produce the ineffable charms of the yesteryear movies it brazenly imitates.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    If it weren't for Sharif's extraordinary presence, there wouldn't be a cherishable moment in the movie.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    These storied 13 days feel like the Hundred Years War.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    In their desire to humanize the big story, director John Boorman and screenwriter Ann Peacock ... have resorted to groan-inducing cliches and clunky narrative.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A disappointingly dull thud of a fantasy.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's almost too dull to pan.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    About as funny as digging your own grave in an unmarked part of New Jersey.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's so laden with foreboding, you want to get out from under it and gasp for air.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's an eroticism of nastiness -- triple-X fare for dirty old men in raincoats. If you resist this sleazy gorefest, you'll be right to feel proud of yourself.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    If only The Reaping had the decency to be coherent.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There's something hideously pretentious about the whole thing.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    If there's anything good to be said about Heights, it's Glenn Close's strutty, booming performance.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    All dancing and hugging and no good.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Deception is another example of when genre-fication (the forcing of otherwise intriguing stories into the straitjackets of horror, thriller or other genres) reduces our entertainment to head-shaking banality.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Yields the same sort of archetype and the usual results: De Niro's workmanlike in a dismayingly familiar role.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    For the most part, the film's a bewildering disappointment.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Surprisingly uninvolving, the least effective of Neufeld's Clancy-based movies. Surely he was not looking for this kind of film: one that bombs literally and figuratively.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There's nothing authentic about this London lad ... Nothing particularly likable either.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Hampered by Niall Johnson's script, which is often confusing, muddy and ultimately cliche-ridden.
    • 11 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Date Movie, alas, is here to remind us that slapstick can be just plain bad. These are sight gags best appreciated with a blindfold.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Roos and director Herbert Ross pave the long and grinding road to self-fulfillment with miles and miles of counterfeit poignancy.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There's more bathroom and slapstick humor than a sixth-grader could stand, and a veritable flood of drool, blood and less mentionable effluvia, most of it courtesy of Mr. Wayans as he tries to be – you know – funny.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    In a movie whose texture is supposed to be hard-edged realism, the characterization seems a little too pat and jaunty.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Perhaps they should have called this "Bore-a, Bore-a, Bore-a."
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This vainglorious biopic about Bobby Darin is really about what the '60s pop singer and actor means to Kevin Spacey.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    I'd recommend you actively or passively forget this one.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Like the turtleneck cashmere sweaters and girdles that tie down these promising women, the movie is trite and trussed.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This adaptation of the underground comic strip is mostly unfabulous.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There doesn't seem to be much purpose to it except a half-baked notion that the histrionics of the mentally insane (or a moviemaker's idea therein) are eminently cinematic. They aren't.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This unusual convergence of stars doesn't amount to much.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A crashing letdown.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Even the staunchest of golfheads must know they're watching a cut-and-trite accounting.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It doesn't help matters that The Libertine seems to unload every olde English cliche on file.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A pretty woeful affair...a sitcom disguised as a movie.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This saved-by-an-angel story is redeemed mostly by Smith's comic instincts.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A longwinded, predictable scenario.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    An irredeemably transparent... DIRECT RIPPING OFF OF "SPEED."
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Kids who love Pokemon movies are no doubt going to see this movie, and they'll have a blast watching it. Very soon they will become older and more sensible and understand how terrible these movies are.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    That sense of fun is jackhammered into our skulls. The tongue that was so firmly in cheek last time has punctured through muscle and bone.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's just too lost in its own presumed self-enchantment.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The only reason to watch this movie is for stargazing, nice shots of the sea and to revel in a world where false promises, lies and empty posturing are actively encouraged.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Stumbles and screeches on for an interminable two hours.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    If only Shadowboxer had gone for more than an unwavering commitment to imitate better movies, it might have been one for the cult shelves at the video store. Right now, you'll be lucky if you find it in the giveaway bin.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Cut-and-dried sci-fi thriller.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The story, a half-baked one about treachery and greed, meanders to an unsatisfactory ending with a punch line that, well, doesn't punch very hard.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's too bad Chan's imagination and delicacy were wasted in this movie.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Overdresses and ultimately abandons what drew us to its 1998 predecessor in the first place: an intimate embrace with history.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It goes down (and comes back up) like a hairball.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Although this script starts off with great zest, it's ultimately a disappointment.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The muddy, convoluted story revolves around the star's cool-guy poses and one-liners.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A loud, standard-issue sci-fi action film that has a confusing mission.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    For all his patient, accumulative storytelling, Sayles yields little that doesn't feel trite or overly schematic.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    You can boost mediocrity a little, but you cannot raise it from the dead.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The dialogue and acting are flatter than a punctured ball.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    RV
    Why did director Barry Sonnenfeld take on this project? Just to sully a fine comedic resume that includes "The Addams Family" and "Get Shorty"? And one last one: Which one of these levers do you push to send the RV careering off the mountain for good?
    • 63 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    In a movie as unrewarding as this, there's really only one burning question: When does the spanking begin?
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    A snooze, despite all the sex and other gunplay.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Where there was effortless cool in the first movie, there is nothing but manufactured posing here.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The story behind Hercules, Walt Disney’s insipid, lifeless, animated feature, is hardly the stuff of children’s entertainment.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Just a few guilty laughs, a predictable resolution and repeated close-ups of that dog jerking its head to one side, doing the cute thing.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Mainly, Femme Fatale is really about De Palma's three favorite things: women, movies and women. And you can either share his guilty pleasures in all their living, breathing, power-edited, overextended glory, or you can get on with your life.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    An ambitious, experimental mess of a movie in search of something more profound.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The movie automatically pegs itself for the straight-to-video sci-fi rental shelf.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Very young children, it should be said, probably won't have any problem with the movie. It's bright and perky on the surface. But for anyone mature enough to pay closer attention, it's going to fall short of expectations.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    But by the end of the movie -- which seems to last longer than the Crusades -- all the good stuff has dissipated.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The movie feels forced, cliched and derivative.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Although the acting is committed and sometimes stirring, most of the characters are about as one-note as the biblical archetypes Martin wants to get away from in the first place. "The Name of the Rose" this ain't.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    It's just sort of trying.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Memoirs of an Invisible Man isn't a movie. It's an identity crisis. The previews would have you believe it's a zany comedy. But the jokes are too far and few between. And if it's a comedy, why is John Carpenter directing it?
    • 65 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Its long-winded denouement, in which Grazia runs away rather than be sent to an institution, doesn't bring the story full circle. It just extends it.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The fight between good and evil feels fixed in favor of Hollywood redemption.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Honey's a little too darling for reality but, obviously, that's not what this candy-cane vehicle of a movie is all about. It's about the way Alba moves and how good she looks when she's backlighted and smiling.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    With a premise as cavalier as this, perhaps director and co-writer James Wong could have found a tone more original than post-Wes Craven cynicism. Instead, he panders to viewers, allowing them to take gleeful comfort in the destruction of the stupid and doomed.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    As it stands, this movie seems to have conflicting desires: to endear itself to the audience and then repel it.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Suffers from melodramatic overkill.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Even by the low-low standards of cheap action flicks, this one's bad, boys.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Taking Lives would have to work nights to reach mediocrity.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    To take Showgirls that seriously (as either trash-art or appalling pornography) wouldn't be worth the exertion.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Here was my question for most of this movie: Wha-? I was clueless. Did not understand. Count me among the stupid.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Dramatically lackluster.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Needs more than happy thoughts to get off the ground.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    There seem to be about a half-dozen spiraling subplots that go nowhere in particular. But it's oh so hiply done -- at least, that's the idea.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    Too infuriatingly quirky and taken with its own style to get down to telling a story.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    First-time filmmaker Jordan Roberts worked on this project for years, but merely ended up with dreary cliche.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    This movie is so wearying in its mediocrity, the inappropriate Ronica almost registers as dramatic relief.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    From the get-go, the story remains bogged down in its rather limited morass.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    The result: an empty comedy that takes hackneyed potshots at consumerism.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 30 Desson Thomson
    I would rather have a more interesting group of desperate people to spend my post-apocalyptic time with.

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