For 1,368 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 49% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 48% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 2.3 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Jack Mathews' Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 60
Highest review score: 100 Happy Feet
Lowest review score: 0 Dischord
Score distribution:
1368 movie reviews
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    For die-hard Ferrell fans, this could be the ultimate test. He has been playing variations of "Elf" for five years, and his antics have grown as stale as Jackie's socks.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    You'd have to go back to Blake Edwards' "10" and Bo Derek to find a mainstream movie that spends more time gawking at a star's body - or a more cooperative and alluring subject.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    What's here is a glimpse not into how far people will go to win a reality TV show, but how far greedy writers and producers will go to degrade, debouch and enrich themselves.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Completely false, manipulative, exploitative and insulting.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    I love golf, history and good stories, and I found this to be among the most boring, flat and cliched sports movies I've ever seen.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Not since Philip Kaufman's 2000 "Quills," the story of the Marquis de Sade, have we had so debauched a literary and movie hero, and Johnny Depp plays him with the relish of an actor who has made odd-ball characters his specialty.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Travolta is the least of the film's problems. With a script by James Vanderbilt, whose first credit was for a movie about the tooth fairy ("Darkness Falls"), and directed by John McTiernan, last seen struggling with "Rollerball," Basic is a fundamental failure.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    The story, adapted by Dean Georgaris, doesn't come within a light year of science-fiction plausibility, and after a while Woo gives up trying to sell it and reverts to the action choreography that made him a master of Hong Kong martial-arts movies.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    I have not read the Anne Tyler novella from which the movie is adapted, but it is clear from the earliest scenes that Evie and Drumstrings are of a different generation from 37-year-old Taylor and 36-year-old Pearce.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Unfortunately, what you'll remember most about the movie is its banal script and dialogue so ripe it almost laughs at itself.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    A movie about healing that makes us want to scream out, ""Hollywood, heal thyself!"
    • 62 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    If there's anything more tiresome in film today than hip irony, it is forced irony, and here comes a boatload with Wes Anderson's The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Among cautionary tales of gloom-and-doom, it may out-gore Gore, but it doesn't entertain.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Only sharp dialogue and a suspenseful buglary might have given this lame, quasi morality play some energy. It has neither.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Only Stanley Tucci seems aware of the drop-dead stupidity of the plot, and acts up a storm of high camp as the narcissistic scientist.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    It took one novelist, one screenwriter and two directors - Scott McGehee and David Siegel - to cobble together this earnest nonsense, and if it weren't for 12-year-old novice Flora Cross, who plays its central character, all would be lost.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    As the story of a romantic office lump, Janice Beard resembles last year's "Bridget Jones's Diary." But it is a far, far lesser thing.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Atoothless morality play.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Not just unromantic, it's unfunny, too.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    There comes a time when the future looks old, and that's where "Star Trek" finds itself on the time-space continuum.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    The whole movie is some kind of joke, a sick one to be savored by a certain segment of the movie audience. You know who you are.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Much talking, much sex, much to-do about nothing.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    What the filmmakers missed in assuming the mask from the earlier film is that it was Carrey's astonishing physical comedy that made that film a hit, not the animation.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Out of place, out of time and out of its own cultural context.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    There's still time, but for now, Fogler gets my vote for the worst performance of the year.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Father Amaro comes off as another pedophile in a frock. You'd have to hose this guy down if he were driving a school bus.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    The question is, can a Slovakian lawsuit against the filmmaker be far behind?
    • 46 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Whether Jawed Wassel could have made more of it with further editing we'll never know, but it's a clunky bit of storytelling.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    The stars have little opportunity to engage their characters. The gang-written screenplay and Chris Koch's artless direction turn their scenes into a series of broad, overplayed comic sketches.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Director-writer Richard Ledes shows better command of 1950s period atmosphere than he does of either his subject or his cast.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    A teen comedy so stupid that a long nose -- perhaps with a red bulb on it -- actually would have helped.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    The title doesn't hint at the unsavory mess the film actually is.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    So badly conceived and executed, its good intentions don't help.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    The Intended is well-intended, but it is also the dreariest, most uninvolving movie I've seen this year.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    "Filthy" may have been a better title for Dirty. The rough language is not just pervasive, as the MPAA's R rating describes it, it's assaultive. The violence is not merely "strong," it's incessant, sadistic and broadly unbelievable.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    The last act, when the movie falls apart like a cheap toy, is both a deus ex machina and an anticlimax.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    The movie's really about the impressions of the original performances by newcomers Eric Christian Olsen and Derek Richardson. Olsen does an uncanny Carrey, and Richardson vaguely resembles Daniels.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    The latest - and really last-minute - documentary hoping to affect the presidential election is a deceptively partisan view of the Iraq War.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Like a fragile Provence wine left too long in the sun, Ridley Scott's romantic comedy A Good Year spoiled somewhere between the publication of Peter Mayle's novel and this cockamamie adaptation.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    If the 10th "Friday" sounds like the first "Alien," it's strictly intentional. Todd Farmer's script rips off that classic sci-fi horror film, replaces the acid-based monster with the hockey-masked Jason, adopts the self-mocking attitude of "Scream" and lets the heads, arms, legs and torsos fall where they may.
    • New York Daily News
    • 62 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    These are three characters in search of a moral pulse.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    As an allegory of religious conflict, the '73 film is brilliantly constructed and ends with a punctuation mark that was shocking in its day. LaBute's movie attempts to shock, as well, and does: Given the names involved and the casting of Cage, it is shockingly bad.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    To be avoided by anyone considering a vacation to anything wilder than a zoo.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Shot with an annoyingly jerky hand-held camera, Virgin is a test to stick with, and despite the best efforts of Moss, it wore me out.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Who knew that Juliette Binoche and Jean Reno could be unlikable? And yet, there they are, grating on each other's nerves (and ours) as strandees at Charles De Gaulle airport.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    South Korean director Kim Ki-duk does a bizarre riff on the twisted macho ethos of abusing women until they learn to love you.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    You never know what these people are going to say or do, but you're pretty sure it will be whatever they want to.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    An awkwardly executed, tedious and -- a near impossibility for a Holocaust movie -- emotionally uninvolving bore.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    A hackneyed movie of zero social, political or dramatic consequence.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    The film's pace is just plain wacky, moving with the haste of a receding glacier most of the time, but then jumping ahead as if Hartley hit the gas on a time machine.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Why Travolta is slumming in B movies is anybody's guess. (I'll take a wild flier: "Battlefield Earth"?)
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Obliterating the original structure and intent of "Body Snatchers" is cinema-lit blasphemy.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Though Morrow and Forlani are fine actors, they can't even fake a physical attraction between their characters, let alone orgasms.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Earnestness is the primary appeal of Meng Ong's clumsy melodrama.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    The result is a movie that talks big, even walks big, but has no scale whatsoever.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    I don't know why Redford and the white-hot Gandolfini signed on for this fiasco, but the give-and-take between them is the film's sole pleasure.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Nearly devoid of both dialogue and narrative cohesion, Yongman Kim's first feature - Part 1 of a planned trilogy inspired by Dante's "Inferno" - suggests that the founder of the popular downtown Kim's Video store should not give up his day job.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Back to Wisteria Lane, Eva, and stay there until we call you.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    It needed a star like Clooney at its center, and a character actor like Alan Rickman as Dr. Doom. You don't expect realism from a comic-book movie, but you do want the characters to seem larger than life.
    • 12 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Eddie Murphy's latest comedy, The Adventures of Pluto Nash, takes place in the year 2087, which is about the earliest he can hope to be forgiven.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Not all cartoon violence; there's cartoon nudity, too. Berry was paid a well-publicized $500,000 bonus to bare her breasts in the movie.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    But look up the word "slight" in the dictionary and you could find a still from this film.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    If it weren't for retro-gartered Milla Jovovich, I don't know why anyone would want to survive the virus that is turning humans into zombies and destroying the Earth in Resident Evil: Extinction.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Mattei's script was written in 1998, and the absence of any sense of the impact of 9/11 on New Yorkers is palpable. While watching "Love," I was thinking what great potential there was - still is - for a Manhattan "La Ronde" set in the days following 9/11, when strangers sought comfort from each other in spontaneous sexual alliances.
    • 14 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    This is the worst performance by a pop star in a dramatic role since Madonna suited up for "Shanghai Surprise."
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Beyond the cliches, there's something deeply offensive about the way Hostage exploits our empathy for children in peril.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Something's wrong with the math here -- the inheritance of the story's small-town hero is enlarged from $20 million to $40 billion, yet the new movie isn't worth the price of a Depression-era ticket.
    • New York Daily News
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Deep into Hollywood's Dumb Season comes one of its dumbest offerings.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    An absolute mess with no coherent tone, story or point of view.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Whatever it was in Romanian philosopher Mircea Eliade's novella Youth Without Youth that drew Francis Coppola out of a 10-year retirement to make a movie, the result is the year's most bizarre novelty item.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Unlike pop rival Britney Spears, Moore does project star quality on the screen, but she gives Halley an edge of nastiness that makes her harder to empathize with than she should be.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    There is not a frame of "Cheaper" that doesn't feel contrived. It fails the most fundamental test of movie logic.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    French director Mathieu Kassovitz Frenches this flimsy tale to death. No scene goes underplayed, no performance (save one, from Robert Downey Jr.) lacks volume, no horror cliche is forgotten.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    It might have been a marketing nightmare, but if Lopez and Tyler had switched roles, it would have been a better movie.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    It's just a setup for another bad sight gag that ends up where the script itself belongs, in the trash.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Underdeveloped and badly diluted by overlong -- and overly stylized -- forays into the drug use, street hustling and cultural alienation that mostly affects the boys' friends.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Doesn't play on the screen. P.S. Your Cat is Dead is a stage-locked, two-character play on a static set, and though Guttenberg takes it outside for a couple of scenes, it remains that on film.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    It's described as a black comedy, but you can forget the comedy part. There wasn't so much as a snicker at the screening I attended, though I may have heard a snore or two.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    Nothing in the movie rings true, least of all its depiction of gambling, both in casinos and in the bookie world that ultimately drives the story.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Jack Mathews
    [A] straight-to-video-quality mess.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Jack Mathews
    Nightwatch is a seriously overcast B-movie with rote performances from everyone but Brolin, who gives James an edge of danger that says that if he isn't a killer, he will be.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Jack Mathews
    Something bad happened on the way from the book to the movie. [15Dec1995 Pg. F.01]
    • Los Angeles Times
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Turner's guileless amateurism stands in refreshing contrast to the rest of the performances -- stilted, self-conscious and sleep-inducing -- that fill this tedious 3-1/2-hour marathon, the Civil War in real time.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    We're left with virtually no insight into the appeal of a movement that lasted 30 years.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    This, the 10th and worst-written entry in the series, would have been better if it had followed Dreyfuss instead of Clouseau, or if Kline had been cast as Clouseau instead of Martin.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Ishii instills this unpleasantness with some Hitchcockian black humor.
    • 12 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    The individual scenes are just random, uninspired riffs by Carvey or awkwardly flat cameos by the likes of Jesse Ventura and Olympic sprinter Michael Johnson.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    This particular script is deplorable. It's a pure cribbing of Ron Bass' screenplay for "Sleeping With the Enemy," which was no prize itself.
    • New York Daily News
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    If you approach this movie in the right frame of mind -- that is, with total contempt -- you can still enjoy it as a comedy.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    A mindless, cliche-riddled action-cartoon, a blur of metal and fire and screeching tires, with bad dialogue, cardboard characters and a volume set so high, it makes the Indianapolis 500 sound like chamber music.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    While there is a great deal of laughter among the quartet, there's scarcely a giggle in it for the audience.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    At the half-hour mark, Godsend falls off the edge of reason, veering wildly away from what seems the promising beginning of a drama about the ethics of human cloning and instead becomes the cheesiest of hallucinatory horror movies.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    I have an idea for a Mars movie. When our first astronauts step onto the Red Planet, they discover that Martians not only exist but that they've hired Johnnie Cochran to represent them in a massive defamation suit against American filmmakers.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Critics are inclined to describe the action in films like "XXX" and Lee Tamahori's sequel, XXX: State of the Union, as "cartoon violence." I'll resist doing that out of respect for cartoons.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    A one-joke idea...wears itself out almost instantly.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    It's nonsense. Even when its big secret is revealed in the final moments, it adds up to nothing more than a dizzy, dark, hysterical waste of time.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Blakeney's script contains more hackneyed dialogue and misfired jokes per minute than would seem possible, and the result embarrasses every actor in it.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    This documentary doesn't probe too deeply, and it presupposes that there is a general interest in Jeremy commensurate with his Q rating among the porn-renting public.
    • New York Daily News
    • 32 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    In these movies, it's always easy to figure out who's going to survive and make the killers cough up their own blood, but you still hope that the victims will go in the order of their performances -- worst actor first, etc. No such luck.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Bacon's performance in "Saw" creator James Wan's laughably extreme revenge thriller Death Sentence is six degrees of ham.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Isn't a movie as much as it is a feature-length screen test.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    About the only plausible element in the entire movie is bratty Vanessa's loathing of "Aunt" Mona, whom she sees as a vacuous over-reacher.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Dalton, using a Scottish brogue coarse enough to take his tongue with it, is hootably bad, and Kathy Bates, playing Ma James, is pure ham.
    • 9 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    No better than whatever you might pick up while wearing a blindfold at Blockbuster, even if you happen to reach into a trash can.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Exploits and trivializes public anxiety for entertainment and commercial gain. They've been doing it for years. But this little piggie didn't get to the market in time.
    • New York Daily News
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    This is an execrable movie depicting the improbable events in the life of a young boy being intermittently raised by his crackhead, highway-hookin' mom (actress-director Asia Argento, with a face that makes Courtney Love's mug shot look glamorous), her plumb-nuts evangelical parents and a cartoonishly incompetent West Virginia social system.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Greenebaum's tedious, film-school level exercise in self-indulgence and exploitation.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Insipid, self-indulgent bit of art-house macabre.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Truly depressing commentary.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    You won't hear a better soundtrack on a bad movie this year.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    The question is, how did the producers get the amiable, talented Jason Lee to Boogie Board down the toilet with (Green)?
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    A shell of a romantic fantasy festooned with characters inspired by and resembling those in the bar scene in "Star Wars," the waiting room in "Beetlejuice" and the circus in "A Bug's Life."
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Less a movie than an 80-minute promo for a self-help program for the seriously desperate.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Earnest but practically unwatchable movie. I haven't spent an hour and a half with worse company since high school detention.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    A postseason basketball comedy that shoots and misses at a rate that would embarrass even the Los Angeles Clippers.
    • New York Daily News
    • 46 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    A deadly script.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Ultraviolet, unscreened for critics, is unfit for consumption.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    A stinker of epic proportions.
    • New York Daily News
    • 21 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Derivative to the point of distraction.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Apparently, the show’s appeal is due to the good-heartedness of its undereducated anti-heroes, but their kind of dumb grows old fast.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Bad as he is, Fallon cannot claim Taxi's worst moment. That belongs to Ann-Margret.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Hideously ugly to look at and not even worth following.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    You may need fortification for this astonishingly bad movie.
    • 14 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Close call as to who's career has sunk farthest.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    "Charlie's Angels," "Survivor," "American Gladiators" and "Girls Gone Wild" are just some of the bad influences on Hong Kong action director Corey Yuen's laughably silly adaptation of the video game DOA: Dead or Alive.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Adapted - badly and unfaithfully - Close Your Eyes is a convoluted jumble of paranormal psychology, occultism and pagan symbolism, topped off with a quest for immortality.
    • 12 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Slackers depends on the pathetic Ethan and the flatulent Sam for most of its laughs, and both characters are more revolting than amusing.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Two hours of the worst sort of sentimental sap.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    If the point of this umpteenth posttraumatic stress drama is that war is hell, even years after it's over and you're sitting in a movie theater, Big Bad Love makes it.
    • New York Daily News
    • 16 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Deuces Wild is the worst thing to have happened to Brooklyn since the Ice Age severed it from the mainland.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    There is no excusing date rape, but the revenge conceived and executed by Rosario Dawson's Maya in this revolting, amateurish drama is something you might only wish on Osama Bin Laden.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    The acting is more amateurish than Billy's diva act, and for all its ambitious editing, the film looks like something made in the Addams Family's attic.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    The Worst Comedy of the Year race heats up today with the release of Keenen Ivory Wayans' Scary Movie 2. This one is so bad, even Adam Sandler will be impressed.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    This is extremely dark and politically loaded material.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    This badly written, badly directed and badly acted little movie about an ordinary guy from Jersey who discovers passion with a fashion plate in Manhattan looks great.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    The actual fights between the predators and the serpents are too silly to contemplate. Both shiny and metallic, they look like kitchen appliances fighting it out. That's when you can see them. Writer-director Paul W.S. Anderson ("Resident Evil") has created the darkest, if not worst, sci-fi movie since "Battlefield Earth."
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    At the end of her spontaneous date, she says it's been the best night of her life. It will not be one of yours.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Boring is too active a verb to describe this minimalist psychological thriller.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    His (Kaminski) first feature is so thoroughly awful, it isn't even interesting to look at.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    The Musketeer is the worst Hollywood period film in -- it seems like ages since "American Outlaws."
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    So clumsy and unfocused that not getting it isn't half as bad as sitting through it.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Shows what can happen when a bunch of good actors get together without adult supervision. They emote all over the place, banging into each other, talking too loud, knocking over furniture, wallowing in clichés and otherwise behaving like rank amateurs.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Here's one for the Sick Voyeurs Club.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Vampire movies aren't what they used to be. How about a little mist, some shadows, some pale gray faces set off by stark red lips? Maestro, a little Transylvanian mood music, if you please.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    An instant contender for cult status on the midnight-movie circuit, where lines like "Do we look like quantum wormhole specialists?" will be given the respect they deserve.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Say a little prayer and save your money.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Preposterous, physically hideous paranormal thriller.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    If you liked "Van Wilder," which starred Ryan Reynolds and Tara Reid, be warned: The only person returning from the cast is the boring Indian kid Taj Mahal Badalandabad (Kal Penn).
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    There isn't a scene, an action or a character that rings true, yet the narrative summary of the events that inspired it is a matter of record.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    In 1939, when "Ten Little Indians" was published, Agatha Christie mysteries were the crème de la pop literature. Her fans depended on logic in her stories, and they got it. Mindhunters would have insulted their intelligence, and it should insult yours.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    This vulgar, equal-opportunity chick flick aims pretty low.
    • New York Daily News
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    What might work as a narrative device in a novel - the spirit guiding readers through Nick's revelations - is just plain ridiculous in a movie.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Only Emily Mortimer maintains a measure of dignity, playing the slinky assassin named Dakota. Whether her restraint was by her design or the filmmakers', she'll come to appreciate that she all but disappears amid the caterwauling and purging of a story that should have died in Liverpool.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Rates an inquisition of its own. It may not be heresy to fill out an ensemble cast of Peruvian and Spanish characters almost exclusively with non-Hispanic actors, but it certainly destroys any sense of authenticity.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    The sex may be real, but the violence and acting are comically phony, resulting in something that, while intended to shock, merely revolts.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Jack Mathews
    Most of the incidents are harmlessly derivative, but the movie has a mean streak that undermines our empathy for the characters, particularly Tom.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Jack Mathews
    Excess Baggage, a scruffy romantic comedy about a despairing rich girl who hatches a kidnapping scheme to test her father's love, is an aimless waste, a star vehicle without a compass. It wants very much to be both funny and poignant, but is more often just noisy and pointless. [29Aug1997 Pg 14]
    • Los Angeles Times
    • 27 Metascore
    • 20 Jack Mathews
    There isn't a moment of genuine suspense or tension in the film, and the paltry laughs are supplied not by Murphy but by Hardison, whose character, a lowlife Brooklyn habitue forcefully turned into the vampire's bug-eating sidekick, spends the entire movie moaning about his decomposing body and embarrassing the boss with his earthy patter. [27 Oct 1995, p.1]
    • Los Angeles Times
    • 48 Metascore
    • 0 Jack Mathews
    Italian actress, writer and director Asia Argento's performance in the godawful Scarlet Diva is one of those bawl, spit, scream and vomit exhibitions that provoke admiring applause in acting classes and great gales of laughter in theaters.
    • 15 Metascore
    • 0 Jack Mathews
    Warner Bros. quietly releases Hiller's latest film, Carpool, without advance critics screenings, without more than a whisper of promotion, without warning or apology to the lost souls who might wander in to see it.
    • 14 Metascore
    • 0 Jack Mathews
    The only good thing about this on-the-fly, low-budget quickie is its Cape Cod setting and the in-focus cinematography of Ernst Kubitza. Very pretty. Otherwise, it is a speechifying bore.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 0 Jack Mathews
    This will qualify as a spoiler only for those who have never seen a really bad movie before.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 0 Jack Mathews
    Never graduates above the boneheaded.
    • 8 Metascore
    • 0 Jack Mathews
    An early and daunting contender for worst movie of the year, writer-director Irving Schwartz's amateurish melodrama stars a hollow-eyed Piper Perabo as a self-loathing young woman who has every reason to hate herself.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 0 Jack Mathews
    Thekind of misfire that makes you understand why every waiter, parking valet and sushi delivery boy in Beverly Hills has a screenplay under his waistband.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 0 Jack Mathews
    It's fitting that the kangaroo gives the most lifelike performance.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 0 Jack Mathews
    Possibly the worst movie of 2007.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 0 Jack Mathews
    A shrill, amateurish two-character play that demeans women and leaves men with the quaint notion that the best way to a woman's heart is through enslavement.
    • 9 Metascore
    • 0 Jack Mathews
    One of the darkest, ugliest, most uninvolving and incomprehensible major-studio fantasies I've ever seen.
    • 11 Metascore
    • 0 Jack Mathews
    "Comedy is hard," said Steve Martin. For the writers of Date Movie, it's apparently impossible.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 0 Jack Mathews
    This is the biggest lowdown, rotten, disgusting, depraved sideshow in the megaplex. Check your brains, your taste and your self-respect right over there with the bearded ticket taker.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 0 Jack Mathews
    A little Disney Christmas release that comes wrapped in used toilet paper.
    • 14 Metascore
    • 0 Jack Mathews
    More than awful, more than dreadful, and easily the worst beach movie ever made.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 0 Jack Mathews
    The Bundy portrayed here doesn't have even the veneer of charm; he's a raving psycho, and watching him work, whatever the filmmakers' intent, is revolting exploitation.

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