Joe Morgenstern
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For 1,867 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 41% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 57% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 0.5 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Joe Morgenstern's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 59
Highest review score: 100 American Splendor
Lowest review score: 0 Henry Fool
Score distribution:
1,867 movie reviews
    • 32 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    The writing is semicoherent at best, and the buddies of this meandering road trip are not only mismatched but dislikable.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    What's wrong with this sad fiasco goes far beyond its visual deficits.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    The movie will surely find an audience, since it speaks to young people's anxieties about marriage and parenting. But what are two particularly engaging performers doing in a dump of a comedy like this?
    • 47 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Basically a theme-park version of a tawdry tradition.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    I wanted to give this movie a fair shake, though I can't pretend to be an admirer of Ayn Rand's writing. But the movie, the first installment of a projected trilogy, doesn't give the book a fair shake.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Like most other members of an excellent cast that includes James McAvoy, Kevin Kline and Tom Wilkinson, she (Robin Wright) has come under the deadening directorial hand of Robert Redford.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    How do I count the ways this movie goes wrong?
    • 44 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    What was fresh and surprising in Las Vegas turns rancid and predictable in Bangkok.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    J. Edgar, with Leonardo DiCaprio in the title role, is at war with itself, and everyone loses...Mr. Eastwood's ponderous direction, a clumsy script by Dustin Lance Black and ghastly slatherings of old-age makeup all conspire to put the story at an emotional and historical distance. It's a partially animated waxworks.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Sometime around what I guessed to be the one-hour mark in The Five-Year Engagement, I checked my watch and honestly thought the battery had given out. Five years doesn't begin to tell the interminable tale.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    For better or worse, Woody Allen turns out a movie every year. Last year's "Midnight in Paris" was better than better; that is to say, sublime. To Rome With Love is worse than worse, as inert as its predecessor was inspired.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    What I don't understand is why this extended piece of idiocy chose to sink its stinky teeth into our 16th president. If an axe-wielding hero was required, George Washington would have been the better choice, with the Redcoats as bloodsuckers.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Instead of biting wit, though, the movie settles for sketch humor, standard-brand raunch and toothless slapstick that trivializes everything it touches.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    As juxtapositions go, regressed Goth rock star and Holocaust could hardly be more bizarre, and bizarre can be good when it's done deftly. In this case, however, it's done ponderously and sententiously.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    By the end I could have used a Bulleit to the mouth.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    The movie drills itself into our skulls, which are all too vulnerable to such an assault, though I must say my brain glazed over and my heart turned adamantine while the stupidities of this action thriller played themselves out.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    You need only watch the trailer to know that The Internship is a promo for Google; think Google for Dummies, as well as Summer Comedy for Dummies. It's as if the writers googled "how to write a script" and nothing came up, so they wrote this anyway.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 60 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Grotesque doesn't begin to describe Ms. McCarthy's new character. Scarily insane comes closer; repulsive occasionally applies. Mullins's insanity can be extremely funny from time to time, but her anger grows as punishing for the audience as it does for the victims of her unrestrained police work.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Only God Forgives would seem to be a parody of something or other — "Blue Velvet"? "Last Year At Marienbad"? — except that the film takes itself seriously to the point of suffocation in telling its lurid tale of slaughter and revenge.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    What's missing is dramatic subtext and surprise, as well as any playfulness that might have kept us guessing about the plot.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    It's unlikely that a dinosaur wrote the script — the Writers Guild of America makes no provision for Cambrian membership — but this animated feature is dimwitted all the same. The title should be "Trudging With Dinosaurs" (in 2.5-D, for all the grandeur the glasses confer), because the only semblance of a plot is provided by a long migration to winter grounds.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Ride Along, set in Atlanta, gives shoddiness a bad name.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Do not attempt to see this film, derived loosely from the videogame of the same name, unless you're prepared for wobbly writing, lead-footed direction and acting that must have been boosted by nitrous-oxide injectors, plus a starring performance that could have used a boost and didn't get one.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    In all candor, and with all the amity I can muster, Divergent is as dauntingly dumb as it is dauntingly long.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Ambitious to a fault, this cautionary fantasy about artificial intelligence has so much on its muddled mind, and so little sense of dramatic grounding, that it grows ever more preposterous before lurching to a climax that's utterly unfathomable.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    Horns is uncertain in tone — most of its attempts at humor fall flat — and amateurish at best.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Morgenstern
    In the real world, a debate has been raging over what does and doesn’t constitute torture. In the movie world, there’s no debate; watching The Interview is torture from almost start to finish.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Nothing but miscalculation from clumsy start to chaotic finish, an action thriller with a cynical, shriveled soul.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 50 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    My Homo sapiens brain was boggled by the movie's clumsiness, while my heart was chilled by the chance that otherwise mature members of my species might mistake this disjointed botch for summer entertainment.
    • Wall Street Journal
    • 40 Metascore
    • 10 Joe Morgenstern
    Adds up to one numbingly unfunny comedy.
    • Wall Street Journal

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