For 1,184 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 27% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 71% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.6 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Joe Neumaier's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 49
Highest review score: 100 Gone Girl
Lowest review score: 0 Goats
Score distribution:
1,184 movie reviews
    • 38 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Terminally silly, even more so for being "inspired by actual events."
    • 53 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This is perhaps for Shakespeare completists only.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    I Am Number Four, with its gangly title, seems like a dimwitted cousin to those hipper properties - a Superman-come-lately tale of puppy love, extraordinary powers and puberty that's duller than a chalkboard and less powerful than an extraneous Jonas brother.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    At least "Witch" offers Perlman's easy, early-hominid charm, and a semi-suspenseful rickety-bridge scene.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This Arthur is missing a soul.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Director James Keach's movie is so annoyingly dipsy-doodle that TV veteran Bilson, trying hard to look haunted and angsty, is boxed in.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    There's a reason potboiler paperbacks don't make good movies - there's too much outlandish plot, even for Hollywood.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The amazingly awful dramatic thriller Red Riding Hood could, with tweaks, be enjoyably bad in a "Plan 9 From Outer Space" kind of way. Instead, it's M. Night Shyamalan-style bad, which means despite all the unintentional snickers, you feel trapped.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    A children's comedy about talking animals that feels as if it were written by children or, perhaps, by talking animals.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The Sitter is not only an atrocious shout-out to bad '80s comedies, it's also the kind of movie Jonah Hill should look at as a crass blast from his past.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Faith-based audiences may find comfort here, but the film's heavy-handedness is a burden it can't overcome.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    With the most growling and grunting of any movie this summer - and that includes those apes perched atop the box office - Conan the Barbarian seems at times to have actually been made by barbarians.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Sadly, for 99% of its running time, this muddled sci-fi drama is filled with enough overplotting, bad acting and riddle-speak dialogue to stop a clock.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    A ridiculously cheesy confection filled with unthrilling thrills, bored-looking adults and a comically overstuffed backstory.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Rote, dull and point-blank obvious.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This wannabe Sherlockian thriller is like a night spent at Madame Tussauds, watching mannequins strangle other mannequins.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Trust - a drama about the dangers of teen sexting and online predators - plays as prurient, ham-handed and amateurish.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Directors James Mather and Stephen St. Leger stage a few good action set pieces, but unlike the 1981 midnight movie classic it imitates, the blandly titled Lockout never busts out of its cheesy concept.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Madagascar 3 can't upgrade its own shtick, becoming a craven example of a fast-buck, no-fun family film.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    As awful as most of That's My Boy is, it's sort of mesmerizing to see how Sandler - in a script credited to David Caspe - keeps his touchstones in place.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This insipid mashup of history lesson and monster flick takes itself semi-seriously, which is truly deadly.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    There's something sadly poetic about a movie dealing with disappearing memories that vanishes from your mind while you watch it.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    "Dopey" is too good a word for it.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Alba certainly tries her best at portraying not just a beauty but also a beautiful mind, yet very few things add up despite director Marilyn Agrelo's efforts.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Any way you slice it, writer-director Spencer Susser's movie is bad company, full of wanna-be-outrageous anecdotes from the fringe.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Well-meaning but dreadfully executed movie.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This is what happens when the Norwegians try to make their own "Blair Witch Project": We get three-headed trolls that hate Vitamin D and references to "Deliverance."
    • 55 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    3
    Rois has moments of desperate urgency and depth, but Twyker's love of parallels is finally done in by artsy shots of the threesome au naturel against stark white backdrops.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Safe arrives filled with bombast and sneers but barely any thrills.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    What you don't expect is how bad almost all of it is.