For 1,298 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 27% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 70% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.9 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Joe Neumaier's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 49
Highest review score: 100 Heaven Knows What
Lowest review score: 0 I'm Still Here
Score distribution:
1,298 movie reviews
    • 73 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The father is the only one who can leave the house to go to his factory job, and that seems like a paradise for viewers trapped watching this clinically shot claptrap.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The drug that Ma-Ma trafficks in, Slo-Mo, slows its user's brain to 1% of its normal speed. Dredd unfortunately makes you feel as if you, too, have partaken.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Unfinished Business squanders almost every opportunity provided by its potentially funny premise. Instead, it becomes yet another blotch on star Vince Vaughn’s résumé.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This insipid mashup of history lesson and monster flick takes itself semi-seriously, which is truly deadly.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Tis embalmed drama is a ghost from the '80s, a decade that regularly produced surprise-free, caramelized biopics. The airless Amelia is missing practically everything.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    It only comes alive when the star briefly shows the casual looseness that once was his calling card.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Motherhood's litany of complaints and trite comedy-drama comes off as thin, and targeted, as a flyer for The Children's Place.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This eye-rollingly bad movie is silly, sluggish and miscast.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Fatigue is all we get from Run All Night.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Laudable as its world-building is, the film drags not just in its interminable middle hour, but also during the redundant monster-on-mechawarrior smackdowns.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    San Andreas is a disaster — literally. That’s not to take a piece out of Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson. His charm and family-man-style fearlessness as the movie’s star is the only saving grace in this thuddingly repetitive, badly written crash-a-thon.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    A ghost-busting drama set in a world of mystics, mind-benders and various and sundry fake-psychic gobbledygook. But the weirdest thing is how all the fun gets lost in a bottom-drawer "X Files" story.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Any way you slice it, writer-director Spencer Susser's movie is bad company, full of wanna-be-outrageous anecdotes from the fringe.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Polanski views things so mischievously that the naughtiness is neutered long before sniveling Thomas is tied to a pole. He’s a captive not only to Vanda, but also to all the dull, reductive mind games.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    A children's comedy about talking animals that feels as if it were written by children or, perhaps, by talking animals.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    John Peaslee's Screenwriting 101-style script has merely left everyone floating on their own.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The movie doesn't try for "Airplane!" or even "Scary Movie"-type ribbing, but its adherence to the genre isn't quite pure, either. Despite McCormack's good-natured efforts, this is "MADtv"-quality satire.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The latest indignity.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    With no heat at all and a woefully disjointed cast, De Palma’s danse macabre never catches fire.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The Expendables 3 lets down its cast with a film that’s about as thrilling as the arrival of a monthly Social Security check.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Carpenter's economical but mundane chiller is possessed more by previous ghoul-friend flicks than it is by his better work.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    At least "Witch" offers Perlman's easy, early-hominid charm, and a semi-suspenseful rickety-bridge scene.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This is what happens when the Norwegians try to make their own "Blair Witch Project": We get three-headed trolls that hate Vitamin D and references to "Deliverance."
    • 35 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Ultimately, Paradise is a tiny version of a saint’s journey among sinners, an immature conception. Peramb-you-later, Lamb.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Still, in movie terms, Warrior's Heart makes curling look like gladiatorial combat.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    As awful as most of That's My Boy is, it's sort of mesmerizing to see how Sandler - in a script credited to David Caspe - keeps his touchstones in place.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The story feels like quicksand. Riddick, which couldn’t even qualify for proper summer movie placement, moves like Martian molasses and can’t present an action scene to save its life. You’ll wish you had Uncle Martin’s ability to speed people — not to mention awful movies — up.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    These actors know how to liven up a room, yet here they're forced to perform in Miller's Theater for the Overwritten.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Robert Luketic's bland action comedy focuses on the uninteresting relationship between its two bland main characters, and that's the deadliest thing in sight.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The only saving grace is Green, the reigning witch-queen of cinema. The smoky-eyed French actress, best known for “Casino Royale,” “The Golden Compass” and “Dark Shadows,” throws her all into the performance, going bare-chested at times, bared-teeth at others. She’s like Elizabeth Taylor’s "Cleopatra" possessed by a succubus — which is a good thing. Without her, 300: Rise of an Empire would be bloodless and brainless.

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