For 1,223 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 27% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 70% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.5 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Joe Neumaier's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 49
Highest review score: 100 Red Riding Trilogy
Lowest review score: 0 Hatchet III
Score distribution:
1,223 movie reviews
    • 52 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    It's an unfunny Spanish movie that worked best as a two-minute trailer.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Ultimately, even more than 2007’s “Live Free or Die Hard,” “Good Day” never lets McClane be McClane. Gone is his taunting snark and quick-witted preparedness; instead he seems like a jerk with a thing for guns.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Still, in movie terms, Warrior's Heart makes curling look like gladiatorial combat.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    If you're not an 11-year-old boy, or a grown-up in the mood to feel like one, the endless "wow!-that-car-is-now-a-deep-voiced-robot" scenes lack thrill. In fact, the action scenes, as in the previous films, are downright headache-inducing.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Add two more stars here if zoning out to weirdo-dreamy, '80s public-access TV with a synthesizer soundtrack is your idea of midnight fun. Because this ambitious, but not uninteresting, failure has that in its DNA.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The folksy shenanigans are well-intentioned but frankly interminable, with Kline's wry efficiency the best relief from all the yowling and whining.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The remake of the 1987 cult actioner Robocop is a misguided failure — not only because its retooled half-man/half-machine hero now has emotions, but also because its “fear the machines” message winds up feeling creaky.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    It winds up just being annoying.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The only saving grace is Green, the reigning witch-queen of cinema. The smoky-eyed French actress, best known for “Casino Royale,” “The Golden Compass” and “Dark Shadows,” throws her all into the performance, going bare-chested at times, bared-teeth at others. She’s like Elizabeth Taylor’s "Cleopatra" possessed by a succubus — which is a good thing. Without her, 300: Rise of an Empire would be bloodless and brainless.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This slovenly, self-indulgent riff on Charles Bukowski-like fringe-livers has all of the naked harshness of Bukowski with none of the poetry. At least Haas gives it a good shot.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Everything that goes around comes around, but the roundelay in 30 Beats comes off, well, a little square.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Paranoia’s twitchiness is like an actual twitch: it’s contrived and clunky, and you forget it in an instant.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    A ghost-busting drama set in a world of mystics, mind-benders and various and sundry fake-psychic gobbledygook. But the weirdest thing is how all the fun gets lost in a bottom-drawer "X Files" story.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The charmless but harmless A Cat in Paris hits theaters yet doesn't enchant.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    After much fumbling, the snicks and giggles of adolescence grow wearying yet again.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This movie is so dumb for most of its running time, you walk away wishing there was less plot and pointless posing and more of the fuel-injected coolness that brought you to the multiplex in the first place.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Who let an unfunny, irritatingly acted two-hour commercial for Google onto multiplex screens?
    • 45 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    It is likely to become an unintended camp classic, something we haven't had since "Showgirls."
    • 22 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Filled with enough clichés to be broken up and sold in pieces as junk material.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This comic drama tries too hard to serve up a slice of manic life, but Eisenberg, along with Tracy Morgan and Isiah Whitlock Jr. as the affable druggies, provides some spark.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    By the middle of the second hour, you'll be wishing a zombie would just chomp off your head to end the pain.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    It's the same-old flesh-chewing. Like vampires, this genre is getting deadly.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The bad news about Admission is that this thin envelope of a comedy checks all the boxes for being a phoned-in, phony, padded rom-com.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Irritating and clichéd.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Atrocious dreck that feels sitcomish, only without the polish or panache.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    It’s too bad we can’t take a hit out on The Family. This unexciting, unfunny would-be action satire is filled with Italian-American stereotypes, decades-old TV-style Mafia cliches, bits of business that never amount to anything and actors so much better than the hoary, one-joke material.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Black Rock is as dingy and dirty as the genre thrillers it appears to want to one-up. All it does, though, is bring everyone down.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The movie even makes night-vision-goggle scares more irksome, a rare feat.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Swan is so eager to be a trippy comic lark that it ends up resembling a clown trying to fit through a pea-shooter.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Unfortunately, the rest of writer-director Eran Creevy’s film just shows that the Brits, too, make good-looking but empty thrillers, just like in Hollywood.

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