For 1,347 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 27% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 70% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 11.3 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Joe Neumaier's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 49
Highest review score: 100 Gravity
Lowest review score: 0 Splice
Score distribution:
1347 movie reviews
    • 57 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Amiable but ambling.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    For all its strengths, the film is cursed by an ADD-style structure and a flashy but inevitably ineffective casting stunt.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    John Cleese, Michael Palin and Chapman himself (courtesy of interviews, skits and various recordings he made before his death from cancer in 1989) chime in. It's an odd little trip, but if it weren't, one would have to ask, "Well what's all this, then?"
    • 61 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Barrymore is a delicious opportunity to watch the great Christopher Plummer perform the role that won him a second Tony Award. But it's also a lesson in the pitfalls of personality-based minimalism. While Plummer acts his heart out, the script becomes one punchline after another.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    While Messina and Ireland are fine company, writer-director Matt Ross' conceit tires you out.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Dour animated adventure that aspires to holiday joy, but is as enjoyable as a sock full of coal.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Though Rust and Bone aims for a blasé attitude toward disabled drama - in a far more artificial way than another French film, "The Intouchables," did earlier this year - it's underwritten characters and hoary approach plunk it into mediocrity. As wheelchair-bound Stephanie practices her whale-training motions to Katy Perry's "Firework," it's eye-rollingly obvious.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Yen, who also choreographed the fights, is a natural hero, and the large canvas and pseudo-superhero tactics work for a bit, but then the action gets sidetracked in place of myth-building.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    This well-intentioned but clumsy attempt to get into the head of one of the 20th century's most famous women remains full of hot air.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    If Deadfall had more life, it might have been about more than just its wannabe edge. Ruzowitzky, whose 2007 film "The Counterfeiters" won a Best Foreign Film Oscar, understands the movie's simple plan. But it nonetheless puts us into a big sleep.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    A mopey indie family drama like In Our Nature can't quash "Mad Men" star John Slattery's charm no matter how badly it tries.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Director Travis Fine gives his period details flourish and lets Cumming and Dillahunt create well-rounded characters, but Any Day Now winds up treacly.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Mood is more important to Not Fade Away than anything, but writer-director David Chase, who turned mood into masterpiece with every season of "The Sopranos," allows nostalgic feeling to be the sole reason for this, his first feature film.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    There's a funny movie scratching at the edges of This is 40. Unfortunately, writer-director Judd Apatow sees himself as the John Cassavetes of Comedy, so every time that funny movie starts to emerge, Apatow tramples it with scenes of domestic irritation.
    • 80 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Certainly, the West Memphis 3 deserve more chances to detail how the justice system went nightmarishly awry. But take this as ultimately more personal journal than investigation.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    If you're going to have a ghost in your movie, it might be a good thing to present a viable alternative to that ghost. Mama, however, presents a battle between two not very good options before crumbling like a sheet on a string.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Like Stallone, director Walter Hill is also far from his heyday ("The Warriors," "48 HRS.," "Streets of Fire"), but the old-guy camaraderie behind the scenes is evident. Despite the movie being based on a graphic novel, no one adds extra flash here just to appease the kids.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Sadly, the film gets mired in traditionalism, something the man himself always railed against. But worth a look for seeing intellectual bravery (still) at work.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    All of that ends up making this movie — originally titled “Jeff,” in a telling bit of overpersonalization — feel like a late-night cable-news hack job.
    • 81 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    No
    The result was remarkable, but the story of it, while true to the moment, needed — ironically — much more dynamism.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Snitch is like watching an elephant on ice: inelegant, but you admire the effort.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    The film works better as an uncomfortable character drama than as a murky family mystery, which Karpovsky deepens with some psychobabble. Still, a nicely sinister and shuddersome effort.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Stoker is like the baby David Lynch and Tim Burton had, then left on the doorstep of the Addams Family. Full of heavingly gorgeous images that envelop a viewer before smothering them, its maddening elements eventually become too much to bear.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Now Bell can break out of the genre. She's served her time.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Director Peter Webber (“Girl With a Pearl Earring”) fills the film with conciliatory emotion and jarring vistas of post-atomic landscapes. Unfortunately, Emperor needs more good ol’-fashioned swagger.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Lutz, who was a boy when his family fled the Long Island home, is full of belligerence in this chronicle of his family’s alleged run-in with a ghoulish home where a murder had occurred.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    A high-concept goof that’s hard-pressed to surmount its twee preposterousness.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    The G.I. Joe team is back, and most of their sophomore movie adventure, G.I. Joe Retaliation, is as bland as their name and as subtle as an exploding tank.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    The cutesy energy is just too much in this Aussie comedy that’s overly bemused by its quirkiness.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    It feels like a high-end perfume ad.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    There’s a good chunk of info for those eager to know how the sausage gets made, as well as the facts of life and death surrounding what we consume. You just have to pluck the PR feathers and find the good parts.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Kosinski’s ultimately underwhelming film leads nowhere. As its palpable sense of dread — well-sustained in a gently cascading first hour — gives way to dead ends, this Omega Movie shoots itself in the foot.
    • 76 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Mud
    Stripped of his former pretty-boy image, the Texas-born actor is snarly and gnarled, and understands what Nichols is aiming for. That’s crucial, as Mud needs something to stick to.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    “Um” winds up as empty as its mean streets are phony.
    • 15 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Cathy Moriarty and other Scorsese alums pop up, but these mean streets feel too derivative to thrill.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Feiffer sometimes gets snagged on the look-at-me nature of her meta-performance, veering from pathological to pathetic, and not always in the best way.
    • 82 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Aiming for lightness but landing with a thud, Frances Ha is a well-meaning blunder. Director Noah Baumbach’s ode to Brooklyn twentysomething life is a flibbertigibbet fable that, like a self-absorbed flirt you meet at a party, grates on the nerves despite being easy on the eyes.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Gandolfini scoops up another chance to show off the gentleness he left at home during six seasons of “The Sopranos.”
    • 60 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Though much of the film is overcooked and overwrought, it’s well-played, and writer-director Kieran Darcy-Smith keeps us guessing, and watching.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Narratively static and morally banal. That may be par for the course, however, when half the movie is spent watching shallow kids try on other people’s clothes.
    • 80 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Fans of Dario Argento and Mario Bava will appreciate the references. Even for newcomers, there are minor chords to enjoy. If only there were less screaming.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Perhaps afraid that watching a symbol of liberty repeatedly go boom isn’t enough, Emmerich and screenwriter James Vanderbilt add family drama, an attack on Congress, a plane crash and the possible nuking of the Middle East. What isn’t tonally jarring ends up shatteringly inept.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    All those cliched literary trappings come together in Stuck in Love, but the final product feels more like a footnote than a finished work.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    This sequel to last year’s surprise buzz-maker takes the same appreciative approach to scare-flick tradition: Take hipsters, mix into classic genre riff, goose until ludicrous; repeat. Not every try is successful, but as with any anthology, if you don’t like one, sit back and wait for the next.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    If The Conjuring were less of a con job, horror fans would not feel equally as trapped.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Good thing the Aussie star has the role down to a science, since the rest of The Wolverine is a howler.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Everyone thinks sex is easy to do, but that doesn’t mean they’re good at it. The To Do List is exactly that type of movie, one that thinks a sex-obsessed version of a John Hughes comedy by its very nature is hilarious. It’s not, but there are still some things to like here.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    The oldsters are feisty — a gun-totin’ granny is played by Pussy Galore herself, “Goldfinger’s” Honor Blackman — but the shtick’s as flat as old ale. It is bookended, though, by two seriously great songs.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    The Canyons has more in common with Schrader’s opulent immoral tableaux “The Comfort of Strangers,” “Auto Focus” and “The Walker” than with his other work (including the script for “Taxi Driver”). It’s weaker than those, though, and less biting.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    The “Millers” script — it took four writers to cobble together something that seems so slight — hits too many obvious notes between the moments when Aniston can strut her stuff.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    The meta-satire hits you over the head until not just your Spidey sense is tingling.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    This contemplative drama draws strength from day-to-day ordinariness and a terrific lead performance from Paul Eenhoorn, yet sadly falls short.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Combining the dysfunctional family reunion and the home invasion thriller, You’re Next tries, somewhat valiantly, to add new twists to the usual bloody horror-flick shenanigans. But aside from a few fresh chords, it’s same-old, same-old.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    The big twist to Closed Circuit is stated in the film’s TV ads, so even the element of surprise is lost. There may have been the making of a juicy, episodes-long BBC series here, but as it is, there’s barely any juice at all.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    You’ll never buy an inexpensive T-shirt without feeling guilty again. At least not after seeing Nathaniel Thomas McGill and Vincent Vittorio’s thorough documentary, which explains something you already know — American manufacturing is dying.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    What Getaway needed most is enough juice to get to the finish line, narratively speaking. Because while jumping into the car is great, the fun dies fast if there’s nowhere to go.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Any urgency the movie has comes from co-star Terrence Howard, a firebrand of an actor who can’t be contained by a paint-by-numbers script.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Only DeWitt looks at home, but Shelton allows “Touchy Feely” to be so wishy-washy that we can never get a hold of the star, or the movie.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Writer-director Hannah Fidell’s somber drama of an illicit romance earns credit for being a serious discussion of a tabloid-rich topic, but the movie runs out of places to go.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Comes upon a few quirky solutions and movie-ripoff scares before settling into a kind of coma.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Though the film plays like late-era Woody Allen — not necessarily a good thing — and Goldberg’s rambunctiousness is more annoying than liberating, there’s a serious depth of feeling here. Bosworth, thankfully, is attuned to that, and makes the most of it.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Some parents are mellow, and others have instilled emotional problems in their children. This less-than-illuminating work resembles the spelling-bee doc “Spellbound,” only with a promise of high-end endorsements and far more pampering.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Sometimes, less is more. Case in point: Thanks for Sharing, a film that’s a little too eager to be ID’d as a “sex addiction dramedy.” As a result, solidly grounded performances from almost all the cast members wind up playing second fiddle to navel-gazing.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    The movie gets too claustrophobic, while its noble attempt to take on suffering remains laudable.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    This is the kind of movie that, in order to puff itself up, quotes Meyer Lansky, Napoleon and Native American sayings. But according to Hoyle — as poker players would say — the film really just does boilerplate Hollywood drama.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Though the film’s untested cast struggles with the drama, and the sketched-out story is often banal (there are several amateurish calls-to-mom scenes), the presentation of a specific city subculture is etched from the heart.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    As a film, the result is static, like Ang Lee’s similarly muddled “Taking Woodstock.”
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Ultimately, this dull tour of a thieving, primal underworld is just a lot of high-talking hogwash.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    An oblique, by-design and frustrating drama, Claire Denis’ film about a man’s mysterious suicide and its repercussions is creepy, but finally too vague.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Though coming off at times like Adam Sandler’s “Grown-ups,” only with Oscar winners, Last Vegas is a genial little comedy for the crowd it’s intended for.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    A frosty-eyed, imperturbable actress in “Atonement,” “Hanna” and “The Host,” Ronan is at least able to sell Daisy’s new focus while the movie loses its own.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Empathy for the all-too-real plight of the working poor drives this heavy but bold indie. Sadly, though, it falters under the weight of too much drama.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Writer-director Will Slocombe presents a familiar buffet, but there’s good stuff to pick over.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    The dissection and discussion, though well-intentioned, winds up lifeless.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    As an acting symposium, this is 83 minutes of Tucci exercises; never a bad thing. The wooden Eve does her best, but director/writer Neil LaBute unfortunately underwrote her character — by design, it would seem, given all that transpires.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Comedy characters change and grow. Sometimes, as we see in Tyler Perry's A Madea Christmas, they become so much like old relatives that their edge is gone.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Like the bloated channels it parodies, the movie stretches to find something to say, then settles for stupid.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    That Awkward Moment is eminently forgettable — but worth remembering as Poots’ moment.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    There’s also little point and a garish quality that goes from pulp to junk fairly quickly, despite Pegg’s presence.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    For better or worse, the blood and bone-crunching remains most prominent.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Noah, Darren Aronofsky’s often ludicrous, occasionally thoughtful epic, puts theology front-and-center, and doubles down on its blockbuster ingredients — like adding huge rock monsters with glowing eyes.
    • 78 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    There’s atmosphere here, but nothing else.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    It’s all too much. Frankie & Alice has multiple problems it can’t get past.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    The great David Strathairn can make any film watchable, but even he can’t save this dry dramatic thriller.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    This heavy-handed movie is simply a sermon its makers think we all should hear.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Despite a few fiery breaths, there’s mostly hot air from a lot of serious actors slumming it.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Words and Pictures doesn’t get the dunce-cap award, but it does lose points for feeling phony and contrived — especially during the moments when it appears overly proud of what it is.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    This sometimes-taut little thriller is sullied by its unnecessary masquerade as a documentary presented by HBO’s gonzo news show “Vice.”
    • 72 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Melancholy, often muddled documentary.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    The fact that it stars the extremely funny Melissa McCarthy is both its saving grace and incredibly frustrating.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    One problem with “Wish” is that Braff tries to cram so much into it, no scene ever exists for its own sake, to establish rhythm or help us know these characters outside of the ongoing family crises.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    If director Rob Reiner’s AARP-aimed comedy stumbles on several fronts, at least it provides a stage for some seasoned pros to strut their stuff.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Duchovny tamps down his sardonic style to play a quiet guy, but the result is blandness. Timothy Hutton gives a solid turn as a standup businessman. In all, director Anthony Fabian isn’t sure how to build a nontreacly movie out of an inspiring true-life story.
    • 77 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Calvary is like a philosophical Agatha Christie mystery. That’s certainly not the worst thing to be. But it’s also the film’s undoing, because the reliance on specific genre cliches undermines the movie’s more serious intentions.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    The Giver was ahead of its time as a book. But as a movie, it’s too late.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    The sequel to one of the most visually striking movies of the last 10 years continues the graphic novel-inspired landscape of its predecessor. But the characters don’t click, and the action feels dull.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Despite the human drama here, we’re kept at a remove by stolid direction and by-the-numbers storytelling.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    The Identical is one wacky movie, based on a bit of truth.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Hector wants to connect to our inner child, but it feels more like a long story from a good-hearted but dull grandparent.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Kids who get a kick out of the macabre will enjoy this exquisitely crafted but tedious film.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Cusack and Jane look like they’re improvising much of the time, and while that doesn’t lead to a better movie, the off-the-cuff approach is the best thing in the film.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Just another loud, boy-centric comedy aimed at ’tweens. The movie turns a slight children’s book — in this case, Judith Viorst’s 1972 fave, from which it takes mainly the title — into a charmless mishmash.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Strong acting all ’round helps, but unfortunately this is just a slow ride to nowhere.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    William H. Macy has pitch-perfect instincts as an actor. As a movie director, he’s bound to do better than his first feature, this big-hearted, nicely paced but ho-hum character study.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Sadly, this gorgeous-looking adult movie plays out the same theme over and over, never going anywhere surprising. At least we have Binoche to guide us to hell and back.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Director Jeff Preiss soaks his movie in a brownish retro atmosphere, which helps smooth over the many dull spots, but only briefly. Though his cast is strong even when the movie lags, they often feel like soloists doing their own thing next to each other — always melodic but never truly meshing.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    This dull thriller wastes the potential of Nicole Kidman and Colin Firth.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    There is a serious lack of action here, which might be overlooked if the script were as smart as in the previous films. What passes for parable here is merely overplotting.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Franco himself is ponderous playing Williams, which tends to overwhelm everything. A cool concept, and A for effort.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    There’s far too many moments of sabre-rattling, and too much confusion about who is aligned with whom, and why. Those who know and love Tolkien’s texts will have a vested interest. Everyone else may grow restless.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    As an exercise in atmosphere, this claustrophobic creeper does a lot with a little, even if the movie winds up providing just superficial shivers.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Unfortunately, Mann’s newest film, Blackhat, fails to connect.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    The manic energy of Kevin Hart is, surprisingly, toned down in The Wedding Ringer. Which may account for almost the entire first half of this wannabe-raucous buddy movie being laugh-free.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Aniston is fine, and sometimes good even, in director Daniel Barnz’s maudlin and overly obvious drama. She has layered moments of sympathy as a woman afflicted with chronic pain. And unlike in the bad rom-coms she does too often, Aniston absolutely shows some serious chops.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Director Sergei Bodrov’s movie is based on a kids’ book in which Tom was a 12-year-old, and the actors wisely pitch their performances to a young crowd.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    All the low-hum, behavioral buffoonery gets a bit tedious. Still, cheers to Cross for the satirical road he covers, even with all the potholes.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    The actors are in good form, but McFarland, USA can’t find its footing.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Forget the minor, derivative scares in The Lazarus Effect. The real jolt here is seeing a well-known name playing a monstrous evil force.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Yes, there are good moments from a team of veteran British actors, but overall, this return visit to the 2012 gray-set rom-com is deadly dull.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Sam Worthington and Jim Sturgess are solid as two of the four kidnappers, but Swedish director Daniel Alfredson pushes the caper button too many times. More sly wit would have helped things come to a head.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Crisply directed but inescapably pious and, worse, narratively poky.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    What remains rote is how easily the fiend’s victims fall for his tricks. It’s almost as if they’ve seen too many movies like The Barber, and shaved away all common sense.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    True Story is a prisoner of its own dull storytelling.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    The mystery at the heart of the film is a riddle wrapped in an enigma covered in dullness.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Despite the incongruous romance and abrupt action beats, Crowe gives a likable, sympathetic performance. But it all starts to dry up before our eyes. Emotions feel false or melodramatic, flashbacks are drawn out and coincidences and connections are forced.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Screenwriters Chris Shafer and Paul Vicknair’s script feels like a first draft that was written in one night as they got pumped up on Red Bull and speed-watched Netflix. Guys: Another few polishes could only have helped.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Director Hiromasa Yonebayashi did a wonderful job adapting “The Borrowers” into “The Secret World of Arriety.” But this slow-moving film, also from a book, tends to plod rather than float.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    The emotions are florid and the entanglements heated. But the film become preoccupied with, as Flaubert would say, the pettiness and mediocrity of daily life. Arterton, though, is plushly magnetic. She draws us in despite the overly lyrical atmosphere.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Aloha isn’t horrible, but it does have a pitiable odor about it, like a dog that’s sat too long on the beach. Crowe aspires to Golden Age of Hollywood repartee, but something feels off, just as it did in “Elizabethtown” (2005) and “We Bought a Zoo” (2011). Everyone just seems to be trying too hard.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    High art swings sort of low in this watchable but thematically repetitive drama.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Director Andrea Di Stefano’s filmmaking debut has a spotty sense of urgency, but we get to know neither Nick nor Escobar, so both the innocence and the fiery threat lack impact.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    There are parts of “Escape From New York,” “Air Force One,” “Cliffhanger” and countless Luc Besson movies strewn about. Big Game doesn’t stomp on their memory, but like an overenthusiastic fan, it does smother them with amateurish zeal.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    It may not be one of his finest roles or one of his more memorable films. But in its own way, Boulevard may be one that says the most about him.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Stories about mythic figures at the end of their days are compelling — but they still need some zing. That’s what Mr. Holmes is missing.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    When boxing cliches work, they can deliver a knockout. When they don’t, as in Southpaw, we get just punch-drunk.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    After a while, Vacation starts to reek like a car when the kids have their shoes off. Really, though, that stench is a studio digging through its old titles, trying to find something fresh to remake.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    A work of words as lovely as “The Prophet” deserves a better artistic interpretation than this animated venture, which consists mostly of pedestrian, ’70s-quality visuals.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    The story here, like a lot of bar bands, goes loud to cover up mediocrity. When Streep sings, though, so does the film.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    This stoners-meet-government-assassins mashup is as meandering and paranoid as a guy toking up in front of City Hall. Sometimes that’s amusing, but most of the time it’s tiring.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Director Juan Feldman trusts his actors to charm us, which they do — up to a point. But there’s only so much that can be wrung out of this spinster-meets-exotic stud, “Summertime”-lite affair.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    There’s no fleeing the clunkiness in No Escape.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 40 Joe Neumaier
    Unfortunately, there’s a more potent power present here: dullness.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Neumaier
    There's an art to making a good spoof, but good luck finding it in Dance Flick, not only because the movie goes for easy toilet humor, but because it often relies on it to stay afloat.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Neumaier
    Gets old fast.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Neumaier
    Brothers tries to delve into how war can tear families apart, but only succeeds in showing how miscasting and melodrama obscure good intentions.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Neumaier
    Such a lazy action-drama underachiever, it seems unfair to target stars Jamie Foxx and Gerard Butler for bringing their C game.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Neumaier
    If Marmaduke achieves anything, it's that it makes this past spring's "Furry Vengeance" look like a masterpiece by comparison.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Neumaier
    This empty, immature romantic comedy ultimately feels as if it's filled with all the hot air that separates New York and San Francisco, yet still manages to be a suffocating bore.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Neumaier
    Less the opulent retelling she (Taymor) intended and more like a high-minded midnight movie, filled with Ricky's-style costumes, black swans, sprites that flit across the screen and a cave filled with boiling beakers.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 30 Joe Neumaier
    This pseudo-punkster hybrid of "Heathers" and "Thelma & Louise" loses its way almost immediately, veering from wannabe-shocking social indictment to stultifyingly obvious yawner.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    What this heavy-handed film mainly has to endure is a clunky story structure and an ending that wasn't original when it was seen four decades ago on "The Twilight Zone."
    • 20 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Stein's schlumpy presence is disarming, though his know-it-all nature is at odds with his free-speech posing.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The Tracey Fragments is a grating stunt that plays like a film-school project, cutting a bland story into a million tiny irritating pieces.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    An atrocious, idiotic 88 minutes of anti-entertainment. To borrow word-shtick from the guru Pitka, it's AWFUL as in, "Anyone Watching Feels, Um, Loser-ish."
    • 52 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    At 67, maestro Argento's taste still runs toward bloody entrails and eye-gougings, but Asia's sexy sour-lemon smile is underused in his movies.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    So that's three snickers, not counting the Bush quote, 'cause including that one ain't fair, man.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    And then there is the most annoying animated sidekick in a long time: a bulb-headed, trying-to-be-cute glow creature called Kilowatt (Kristen Chenoweth), who sings an ear-piercing, high-pitched note when it's scared, which is often.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Another preachy, overacted message film that owes its out-of-time structure to "21 Grams" and "Babel," except writer-director Charles Oliver uses the idea of restorative justice.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The latest indignity.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Problem is, this movie is all surface - to quote one character, it has hidden shallows.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    See, everyone complains about humans in movies but no one does anything about it, so it fell to Eagle Eye to make everything laughably, ridiculously fake.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Adds to the sad realization that this once-vibrant and witty actor (Cage) is completely controlled now by his inner teenager.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Jamie Bell gives a watchable performance in this self-conscious, coming-of-age drama, though the film's overall effect is best described as David Lynch lite.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Ball knows one trick, and it's sure over.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Well-intentioned but as earnest as a college freshman discovering campus politics.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Where on the evolutionary scale of wacky-dudes-learn-to-grow-up movies does Role Models fall? Certainly less evolved than "Meatballs," but head and hairy knuckles above "Daddy Day Care" or "The Benchwarmers."
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Willing as Campbell is to Shatner-ize himself, his movie will appeal only to true believers.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Only natural spitfire Spacek, as the pickup-driving mom of the land, feels fresh. There's even a mouthy kid Garity is "taking care of" - guess whose son he is?
    • 80 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Like a worst-case-scenario, indie-movie cliché, Wendy and Lucy throws every bone it can at the screen.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    If there are Nazis fighting other Nazis in a movie and it's still boring, something's gone wrong. Valkyrie has a coterie of problems, and represents a whole new front in Tom Cruise's public relations war, but first and foremost there's the tedium.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    A romantic comedy that's neither romantic nor funny.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Tries waaay too hard, just like its motormouth jock-snark heroes.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Unfortunately, the whole movie seems constructed just to get the singer/actress into a knock-down catfight, shoehorning one of show business's sexiest entertainers into a scorned-woman role. And even then, the pay-off feels cheap.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This is one of those films in which almost every element is done in such an embarrassingly amateurish way, you want to put it out of its misery.
    • 7 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    It takes a really bad stupid comedy to make you appreciate well-done stupid comedies. And boy is Miss March a stupid comedy.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The movie doesn't try for "Airplane!" or even "Scary Movie"-type ribbing, but its adherence to the genre isn't quite pure, either. Despite McCormack's good-natured efforts, this is "MADtv"-quality satire.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The end result is like Quentin Tarantino reworking a Charles Bukowski story.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    What the movie needs more than anything else is a fast-forward button.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    During all of the film’s oh-so-long 97 minutes, Year One, barely earns a snicker.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This lumbering, ha-ha-look-what-we-remade action-comedy is a high-concept disaster.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Unpleasantly icy film based on a true story.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Flashbacks show samurai shenanigans, but it's all cluttered and rambling. Watch "True Blood," "Let the Right One In" or "Twilight" instead. Or wait for "Thirst" or "New Moon" or "Daybreakers" or ...
    • 37 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Tis embalmed drama is a ghost from the '80s, a decade that regularly produced surprise-free, caramelized biopics. The airless Amelia is missing practically everything.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The cozy sentimentality in The Time Traveler's Wife is the only thing that grounds it. Mostly it's just featherheaded.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    As ineffectual police work and broken feet stack up, the silliness gets out of hand.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Early scenes set up the tragedy, but the majority of Oliver Hirschbiegel's movie is set in a TV studio where the two eventually face each other, and the tension, unfortunately, quickly becomes stagey.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The movie soon turns into only a production-designed run-and-chase game, and our curiosity about what happened to Earth and the crew is teased and teased again until the movie’s big letdown of a reveal.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    One we wish we hadn't seen
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Peter Jackson siphoned out all the soulfulness that made the author's combination thriller/afterlife fantasy a best-seller. In its place is a gumball-colored potboiler that's more squalid than truly mournful.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Since Bullock coproduced this masochistic venture, it seems she buys into the idea that fluffer-nut ditziness is what she does best. Except it isn't.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    A documentary with too much dead time between the arduous tasks at hand, never grabs a viewer because -- sad to say -- it's too dull.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Throughout, Davidson's intentions are honest but become lost in a haze of overly familiar story beats.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Von Trier ("Breaking the Waves," "Dogville") has no barriers, which absolutely can be a good thing. Here, though, his uninhibited nature is an omen of the pretentious butchery to come.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Motherhood's litany of complaints and trite comedy-drama comes off as thin, and targeted, as a flyer for The Children's Place.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Writer-director Sebastian Gutierrez seems to think his characters are oh-so-edgy, and maybe they would be -- if it were 1982.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The film is an exasperating bore.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    It's also suffocatingly stagy, especially when the husband's new love (Kristen Bell) and a violent thief (Justin Long) show up.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The overlapping stories, the emotional disconnect, the heavy-handed symbolism -- no, it's not a movie from the makers of "Babel," its a mumbling, stammering copycat drama from Swedish director Lukas Moodysson.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    These actors know how to liven up a room, yet here they're forced to perform in Miller's Theater for the Overwritten.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Director John Polson's elliptical storytelling style quickly becomes an irritant.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    John Peaslee's Screenwriting 101-style script has merely left everyone floating on their own.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This sock-it-to-'em souffle falls very quickly, unless watching Travolta trying on another faux-hip look is considered fun.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Frozen is good for five minutes of "What would you do if?" games. Then it's just stiff as a board.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Has warmed-over chills and a muddled, zombie-like execution.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    A cringe-inducing, self-consciously kooky indie comedy that's best enjoyed for its taste of Rip Torn.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Only viewers wondering if James Van Der Beek has finally outgrown "Dawson's Creek" will be at all satisfied by this dreadful police procedural that contains good history lessons and bad TV-cop-show drama.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Would like to think of itself as an extension of its lead character -- gangly, a bit uncouth, but ultimately sweet. Unfortunately, it's more like the best friend in a movie like this -- irritating, unfunny and something that hangs around longer than it should.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Can't overcome mythic stupidity.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The connection they share is clear; the reason we're invited to sit in is foggy at best.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Kick-Ass - based on a graphic novel - thinks it's so brave and bold. But it's more like the title character, a dweeb who just thinks he's tough.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The title of The Misfortunates ­really applies to any audiences unlucky enough to sit through it.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The Losers is simply a lot of low blows, telegraphed each and every time.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This fawning appreciation wears thin, despite the good-natured clowning of Alabama dentist/would-be actor George Hardy, who's like a poor man's Bruce Campbell (our apologies to Bruce Campbell).
    • 50 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    An epic example of muddled storytelling, chintzy excitement and scatter-brained execution.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    To call MacGruber"a total bomb is a bit much, but this comedy-action flick sure feels like it was put together with gum, shoelaces and a couple of sticky Twizzlers.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Robert Luketic's bland action comedy focuses on the uninteresting relationship between its two bland main characters, and that's the deadliest thing in sight.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The father is the only one who can leave the house to go to his factory job, and that seems like a paradise for viewers trapped watching this clinically shot claptrap.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Likely to draw a range of responses. Many will be transported by its gorgeous construction and breathless emotion. Others will find it patently ridiculous.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Unfortunately, its positive attributes are thrown out of balance by its abundant negatives - including chintzy effects, lumbering storytelling and an overstylized, earnest incompetence that evokes "Speed Racer."
    • 30 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The James Bond parodies and genre riffs feel at least 20 years past their prime, and most will fly right over the heads of audience members 7 and under
    • 52 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This dour, hyperactive family film is joyless, overly busy and starchy.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The Last Exorcism trods on previously stomped ground and has almost no good jump-outta-your-seat moments.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Most of the acting is amateurish at best, and the tone is vintage "Afterschool Special." But it does aim to be family-friendly, and at least it succeeds there.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    A chatty little bore.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Johnson is convincing as a swaggering, jokey Lennon, but the photos of young John, Paul and George that end the movie ultimately have more punch than this bubblegummy montage.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    It doesn't help that Eastwood's laconic style is as torpid as it was in such misfires as "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil" and "Changeling."
    • 24 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Half-assed, halfhearted attempt to copy the Farrellys' out-there style is missing both their jackassical riffs and their heart.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    I Love You Phillip Morris not only blasts gay stereotypes back decades, it could actually make people wish for a third "Ace Ventura" movie. Both of those are an accomplishment, though neither is a compliment.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    It's finally here: The most boring alien-invasion movie ever.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    At least "Witch" offers Perlman's easy, early-hominid charm, and a semi-suspenseful rickety-bridge scene.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This tonal mishmash cripples The Dilemma almost immediately, though there are many other speed bumps, including Vaughn's irritating, fast-talking prattle.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Terminally silly, even more so for being "inspired by actual events."
    • 26 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Director James Keach's movie is so annoyingly dipsy-doodle that TV veteran Bilson, trying hard to look haunted and angsty, is boxed in.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This is perhaps for Shakespeare completists only.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    I Am Number Four, with its gangly title, seems like a dimwitted cousin to those hipper properties - a Superman-come-lately tale of puppy love, extraordinary powers and puberty that's duller than a chalkboard and less powerful than an extraneous Jonas brother.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Faith-based audiences may find comfort here, but the film's heavy-handedness is a burden it can't overcome.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The amazingly awful dramatic thriller Red Riding Hood could, with tweaks, be enjoyably bad in a "Plan 9 From Outer Space" kind of way. Instead, it's M. Night Shyamalan-style bad, which means despite all the unintentional snickers, you feel trapped.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    There's a reason potboiler paperbacks don't make good movies - there's too much outlandish plot, even for Hollywood.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Trust - a drama about the dangers of teen sexting and online predators - plays as prurient, ham-handed and amateurish.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This Arthur is missing a soul.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Alba certainly tries her best at portraying not just a beauty but also a beautiful mind, yet very few things add up despite director Marilyn Agrelo's efforts.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Any way you slice it, writer-director Spencer Susser's movie is bad company, full of wanna-be-outrageous anecdotes from the fringe.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This is what happens when the Norwegians try to make their own "Blair Witch Project": We get three-headed trolls that hate Vitamin D and references to "Deliverance."
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Well-meaning but dreadfully executed movie.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Director Michel Leclerc's comedy plays like one of those foreign-movie spoofs Jerry and the gang would go to see on a "Seinfeld" episode. Only here, there's no "young girl's journey from Milan to Minsk" - just from madcap to moronic.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Has raw action and urgent performances, but loses power due to an amateur approach.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    A children's comedy about talking animals that feels as if it were written by children or, perhaps, by talking animals.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Carpenter's economical but mundane chiller is possessed more by previous ghoul-friend flicks than it is by his better work.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Alas, this learned woman of letters - her expertise became the work of Dostoyevsky, whose major novels Geier nicknames "the five elephants" - is ill served by a trudging approach and dry-as-dust, procedural style.
    • 82 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The result is a dull, high-minded soap opera.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    With the most growling and grunting of any movie this summer - and that includes those apes perched atop the box office - Conan the Barbarian seems at times to have actually been made by barbarians.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    As clichés trot through their sessions - it's like "In Treatment" as bedroom farce - we check out. Huppert, though, is as fearless as ever.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    These World Wrestling Entertainment-produced movies are a world unto themselves: Cliché-ridden B-flicks anchored by monstrously huge grapplers giving acting their all.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    3
    Rois has moments of desperate urgency and depth, but Twyker's love of parallels is finally done in by artsy shots of the threesome au naturel against stark white backdrops.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    A ridiculously cheesy confection filled with unthrilling thrills, bored-looking adults and a comically overstuffed backstory.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Broomfield's point that Palin followers threaten her enemies, though, is worthy of a different documentary - perhaps one about American fanaticism.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    It should surprise no one that visually quirky, graphic-novelish, pulp-noir action flicks rarely come through the sausage machine intact.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Rote, dull and point-blank obvious.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Sadly, for 99% of its running time, this muddled sci-fi drama is filled with enough overplotting, bad acting and riddle-speak dialogue to stop a clock.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Finding a fresh setting for a comedy is difficult, but a Renaissance fair is too broad a target.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Though this family film is slick and well-intentioned, it comes off as shallow as a prom committee meeting.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Though Julia Leigh's surprisingly dull debut is meant to present the mysteries of a troubled young woman, you're more likely to wonder why its star, Emily Browning, is drawn to such demeaning roles.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The Sitter is not only an atrocious shout-out to bad '80s comedies, it's also the kind of movie Jonah Hill should look at as a crass blast from his past.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    A dumb thriller starring Dennis Quaid as a weirdo mortician taunted by high school kids into revealing what he did with his wife and her lover years before - and look at the movies it rips off...
    • 35 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Ridiculous and mannered, Loosies is light-fingered but heavy-handed.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The acting and general schlockiness make "Friday the 13th" look like "Macbeth," but it's clear D'Onofrio just wants to hang out. And actually, a lot of the music is really good. Let's hope next time, he decides to make something like "The Commitments" instead.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    It would be easy to say that the final minutes of this mixed-up thriller make everything before it meaningless, but that would indicate the odd conclusion has meaning, too.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Still, in movie terms, Warrior's Heart makes curling look like gladiatorial combat.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Act of Valor is like watching the wrestlers in dramas produced by the WWE: They're great at what they do, but being in front of the camera isn't part of that.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Appearances from Jeff Goldblum, Zach Galifianakis and John C. Reilly help some, but all the mincing from Heidecker and Wareheim, the wanna-be, gross-out humor and THE CONSTANT SCREAMING get tiring.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    It's an unfunny Spanish movie that worked best as a two-minute trailer.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    "Dopey" is too good a word for it.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Directors James Mather and Stephen St. Leger stage a few good action set pieces, but unlike the 1981 midnight movie classic it imitates, the blandly titled Lockout never busts out of its cheesy concept.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The folksy shenanigans are well-intentioned but frankly interminable, with Kline's wry efficiency the best relief from all the yowling and whining.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Director Mary Harron ("American Psycho") can do little with this bloodless drama.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This wannabe Sherlockian thriller is like a night spent at Madame Tussauds, watching mannequins strangle other mannequins.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Safe arrives filled with bombast and sneers but barely any thrills.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    It winds up just being annoying.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Add two more stars here if zoning out to weirdo-dreamy, '80s public-access TV with a synthesizer soundtrack is your idea of midnight fun. Because this ambitious, but not uninteresting, failure has that in its DNA.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    What you don't expect is how bad almost all of it is.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The charmless but harmless A Cat in Paris hits theaters yet doesn't enchant.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Madagascar 3 can't upgrade its own shtick, becoming a craven example of a fast-buck, no-fun family film.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    As awful as most of That's My Boy is, it's sort of mesmerizing to see how Sandler - in a script credited to David Caspe - keeps his touchstones in place.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This insipid mashup of history lesson and monster flick takes itself semi-seriously, which is truly deadly.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This slovenly, self-indulgent riff on Charles Bukowski-like fringe-livers has all of the naked harshness of Bukowski with none of the poetry. At least Haas gives it a good shot.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    A ghost-busting drama set in a world of mystics, mind-benders and various and sundry fake-psychic gobbledygook. But the weirdest thing is how all the fun gets lost in a bottom-drawer "X Files" story.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Everything that goes around comes around, but the roundelay in 30 Beats comes off, well, a little square.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    There's something sadly poetic about a movie dealing with disappearing memories that vanishes from your mind while you watch it.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Filled with enough clichés to be broken up and sold in pieces as junk material.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    This comic drama tries too hard to serve up a slice of manic life, but Eisenberg, along with Tracy Morgan and Isiah Whitlock Jr. as the affable druggies, provides some spark.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    By the middle of the second hour, you'll be wishing a zombie would just chomp off your head to end the pain.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    It's the same-old flesh-chewing. Like vampires, this genre is getting deadly.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    After much fumbling, the snicks and giggles of adolescence grow wearying yet again.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Thuddingly awful.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    The drug that Ma-Ma trafficks in, Slo-Mo, slows its user's brain to 1% of its normal speed. Dredd unfortunately makes you feel as if you, too, have partaken.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    It is likely to become an unintended camp classic, something we haven't had since "Showgirls."
    • 20 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Irritating and clichéd.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    Atrocious dreck that feels sitcomish, only without the polish or panache.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 20 Joe Neumaier
    PA 4's best idea, besides reintroducing the slow-walking, statuesque Katie, is a strange video trick involving lots of little lights filling a darkened room. It's tough to describe, but the cameras, of course, capture a figure the characters can't.

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