For 1,180 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 33% higher than the average critic
  • 0% same as the average critic
  • 67% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 11.5 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Kyle Smith's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 48
Highest review score: 100 Project Nim
Lowest review score: 0 Brother, Can You Spare a Dollar
Score distribution:
1,180 movie reviews
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    A few magic rocks and tepid battle scenes do little to inspire interest in the goings-on as Malcolm McDowell and Eric Idle spout villainy and punch lines, respectively.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    What's Spanglish for "oy"?
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Sandler's bizarrely clunky kiddie flick, is a sort of upside-down "Princess Bride."
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Confessions of a Shopaholic -- a "Devil Wears Prada" for Chico's customers.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Bears all the signs of having been composed by an inferior race of alien screenwriters from the Hackulon System.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Yet the moral at the end is that we should all be more tolerant of different cultures. Is that really true, though, if the culture you're trying to tolerate is trying to open your skull with a circular saw?
    • 47 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The thing is a virtual remake of the fusty oldie "Sweet Home Alabama," which came out back when movie scripts were written on stone tablets.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Plodding drama.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Last week I thought watching women take their clothes off was sexy. This week I saw A Wink and a Smile.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Aggressively ugly and intergalactically boring, the dismal sci-fi kiddie cartoon Battle for Terra is too weak to be shown anywhere except maybe on the next flight to Saturn.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The movie is as lumpy and misshapen as a giant booger.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Time for another of Steven Soderbergh's "experimental," i.e., half-assed, films.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    At 86 minutes, the film spends exactly 86 more minutes with its subjects than can possibly be tolerated. Coincidence?
    • 54 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Cutesy? My pain was acutesy as the entire plot yawned before me.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Few kinds of art are more boring than the insistently transgressive, and few movies are more boring than Humpday.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    If we can agree on anything in this great divided land of ours, it's this: Mischa Barton can't act.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Brutally banal chitchat about life and love ensues.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Demonstrating that an hour and a half of stunts doesn't make a movie, this feature is X-treme only in its multidimensional dullness.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Shouldn’t Moore run his yellow crime-scene tape around the White House instead of Wall Street? Anyway, President Obama said this month that in cases where the government has fully sold its TARP bank holdings, it has gotten back its money plus 17 percent. Damn those capitalist barons, breaking into our treasury and filling it with their filthy money.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Old Dogs does to the screen what old dogs do to the carpet. It's unfortunate that only the latter can be taken out and shot.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    At last, the missing link be tween "Phantom of the Opera" and "Saw." Welcome to the gonzo revenge saga Law Abiding Citizen.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Like its subject, a lawsuit that is expected to go on for another 10 years, Crude has no ending. This is the perfect ending for this Goliath versus Goliath documentary about powerful personal-injury lawyers taking on a powerful corporation.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Like one of those five-minute featurettes on star athletes deployed to soak up time on the pregame show -- expanded to a paralytic length.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The movie (Untitled) is a tinny satire destined to go "(Unwatched)" because it is "(Uninteresting)."
    • 54 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    At the end, as I stumbled back onto the street as disoriented and grateful as a released POW, I thought I'd need a calendar to calculate the length of time I'd been away.
    • 77 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The similar Kevin Bacon HBO movie "Taking Chance" got there first. Worse news: The earlier movie was sober, meticulous and quietly convincing, not a shouty, shoddy bore like this piece of flummery.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The makers of The Spy Next Door should give 50 percent of their profits to James Cameron for ripping off "True Lies." Let's see, what's 50 percent of nothing?
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Fix
    Aheroin-stuffed hipster buys a dog, eats Vietnamese food and sells drugs to pay for rehab in Fix, the latest piece of cine-junk stamped out by the indie fakedocumentary factory.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    A wink of self-awareness might have made this a guilty pleasure; instead it's a howler along the lines of this fall's "Law Abiding Citizen."
    • tbd Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Giving Mrs. Tiger Woods a run for her money as the most humiliated celebrity of the month, Russell Crowe accepts a third-banana role in the laughable weepie Tenderness.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    John Travolta's From Paris With Love assassin/ superagent Charlie Wax is the master of whatever the opposite of wisecracking is. Fooljoshing? Lametalking? Flatlining?
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Rolls out stiff clichés to tell a familiar story of racial injustice in the South.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The dullness of this writing is more than matched by the dull look achieved by director Allen Coulter, who appears to have shot the film through a piece of yard-sale Tupperware.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Their conversation is so insipid that watching this movie is no more interesting than talking to any random New York couple about what makes them tick.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Though Freddy is basically the same guy as in the 1984 original, his back story is different. For a few minutes the movie threatens to become interesting -- then retreats.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The transformation of the girls from winsome wisecrackers into whiny bling-obsessed chuckleheads is complete.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Tired? This series is as exhausted as Shrek after a day of baby wrangling and diaper changing.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    A girl with relationship woes can hardly set foot in Europe these days without finding herself hip-deep in yummy food and tasty men. The latest iteration of the story is Letters to Juliet or, as I like to think of it, "Eat Pray Hurl."
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    I suppose it's nice that Romero has a hobby, but he couldn't be more of a bore if he were showing off his pine cone collection.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    When Grown Ups star and co-writer Adam Sandler repeatedly slapped Rob Schneider in the face with a dehydrated banana, I was jealous of Schneider, who suffered less than I did getting slapped upside the head by this rotting fruit of a comedy.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The ever-excitable Martin Scorsese, who is listed as a producer and who pops up, bizarrely, to talk about how he decided to stage the last shot of "The Departed," concludes things by saying, "Cubism was not a style. It was a revolution!" Yep. And not in any way a fad.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Stone praises Latin America for turning toward "government of the people" (yet ignores Castro's lack of interest in democracy). But it's no wonder he's in such a sunny mood: We see him grow increasingly giddy while chewing coca leaves with Morales (a coca farmer who wants to make cocaine legal).
    • 46 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    A two-hour trailer: explosion, shape-shift, chase, wisecrack, repeat. Its most amazing trick will be how it vanishes from your memory before the seat you vacate has stopped moving.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Darlings, there's nothing quite so tragique as a boring eccentric.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    It's condescending, it's vague, it's unfair and, ultimately, it's pointless.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Almost without exception, the men are either sickening deviants or wise mentors while the ladies tend to be kickboxing hipsters or victims of sexual abuse (many are both).
    • 45 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Step Up 3D is strictly 1D. Tired choreography and moldy hip-hop gestures accompany insipid characters.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    A pretentious Euro-snore that should occasion a fraud prosecution for any marketer who calls it a thriller -- and which stars an actor who seems to wish his name were Jorg Clooné.
    • 88 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Name names, please. Or shut up.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    A 2010 movie that could have been made in 1940.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Never amounts to anything more than a rambling, studenty exercise in undergraduate cinema vérité. Some expressive, arty photography and a mildly satiric attitude toward stage poseurs do little to make the picture bearable.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    If Swedish villains are this dumb, put me on the next plane to Stockholm. Just don't make me watch these idiotic movies on the flight.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Let us return to reality (all this happened less than three years ago; do documentarians think we don't read the papers?).
    • 76 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The laziness of this filmmaking (which assumes you know that Gray killed himself in 2004) is of a piece with the emphatically uninteresting tales told by a classic dinner-party bore who once referred to his ramblings as "creative narcissism." He was half-right.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    To compete with the quintessence of nullity that is Sofia Coppola's insufferable Somewhere, imagine a film called "Wanna See Me Crack My Knuckles?" or possibly "Let's Learn How Long It Takes This Shallow Dish of Liquid To Evaporate."
    • 48 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    A 42-minute TV soap has more story than this limp and familiar tale of domestic woe.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    A drippy romance that makes Nicholas Sparks look like Leo Tolstoy.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Wind power plus solar power equals hot air in the propaganda piece Carbon Nation, a documentary so disconnected from reality it could have been produced by President Obama's speechwriters.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    For all of its homicidal aliens and toothy beasts, I Am Number Four did contain one element that genuinely unsettled me: the line "produced by Michael Bay." Nooooooo!
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    With its poky pacing, thin characters, obvious message and predictable plot, the movie amounts to a cinematic sermon that, like many of those given in houses of worship, has a good-hearted message that will be difficult to deliver to a snoozing audience.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    I have no idea how to blow up a two-page fairy tale into 100 minutes of blockbuster, but frankly I was hoping for more backstory about the titular cape in Red Riding Hood. Thread count? Machine washability?
    • 50 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The movie, a sequel to 2009's much more sprightly and amusing indie "Women in Trouble," seems to be reaching for Robert Altman territory. Instead of offering many intriguing stories, though, it can't come up with even one.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Combining narrative heavy-handedness with an airy disdain for the details of the situation, director Julian Schnabel gives us a one-sided view of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict in Miral.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Far too childish to intrigue adults yet too slow and dull for kids.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The script is blaring and obvious at all times, and in his second directorial effort, David Schwimmer doesn't have a clue how dull it is for the audience to endure scene after scene of anguish, crying and screaming matches
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    At its best, the movie is an unbearably precious slice of stale imitation Wes Anderson. But at its worst, it's dull and strangled by its own would-be jaunty deadpan.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    This genre flat-lined a long time ago. Why won't it stay dead?
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The American Muslim comedian Ahmed Ahmed does lots of jokes about how he isn't a terrorist. How odd: As I sat through his tepid act, I could have sworn he was bombing.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    In the appalling documentary If a Tree Falls, a narrator referring to an arson attack by the Earth Liberation Front solemnly intones, "In one night, they had accomplished what years of picketing and writing had never been able to do." Well, yes -- terrorism does make short work of red tape, doesn't it?
    • 52 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Really it's just a trashy bid to be the "Scarface" of Mesopotamia.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    A pointless drama that trafficks in cliché.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The real mystery is this: Even if you find this guerrilla art project utterly fascinating, why would anyone bother to release an incomplete film about it?
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The good news about I Don't Know How She Does It is that it's so bad that it's another ovary-punch to the formula chick flick. Bring on more films like "Bridesmaids."
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Jane's Journey is an exceedingly graceful and dignified sleep aid.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Recalling the lesson about bringing a knife to a gun fight, a British documentary filmmaker brings a spoon to a hatchet job in the film Sarah Palin: You Betcha!
    • 65 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    This is essentially a student film offering nothing but absurdly contrived coincidence.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    This film is narratively inert (we spend a lot of time listening to the same questions being asked over and over) and, like virtually all docs in its genre, less than vigorous in its pursuit of truth.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Sorry, but if your sensibility is pure trashy camp, don't expect anyone not to laugh when you try to be earnest.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    This time the execs are lobbying us, yet the public grows increasingly furious as our tax dollars fund corporate welfare, bailouts and dumb ideas like the $41,000 golf cart that is the Chevy Volt.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The indie road movie Janie Jones is billed as "inspired by the true story" of its writer-director, David M. Rosenthal. Impossible. No one's life is this boring.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Even at a supposed celebration, the well-bred and well-off aren't really happy at all. So the title is ironic. Thanks for that profound insight.
    • 79 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Moreover, in attempting to update the play to a buzzing CNN world, Ralph Fiennes proves that as a director, he makes a fine actor.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The French affection (affectation?) for conversational film reaches absurd proportions in the talkathon Domain.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    How cheap-looking is the modern-day romantic tragedy Private Romeo? Take a couple of friends to see it, and the amount you spend may exceed the amount the filmmakers did.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    This indie documentary is egregiously Hollywood in spirit. That a take-charge white football coach can buck up a place like Manassas HS with some gridiron grit is a lie we want to believe.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The only part of this movie anyone's ever going to remember is the pair of scenes in which Ghost Rider pees flame.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The Lorax is awful, like chronic disease.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    When they came in to pitch A Thousand Words, no doubt by calling it "Jerry Maguire" meets "Groundhog Day," a studio exec should have raised the palm of rejection and said, "When you stop being sadly derivative and write an original idea that's as good as those two, come back."
    • 32 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    May be well-intentioned, but it's as obvious and inert as a spoonful of mashed potatoes.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Fails to draw much humor from farcical situations.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    ATM
    Maybe DVDs of "Buried" and ATM will be sold in the same package someday. You could call it a trapped-in-a-box set.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Nesting is a sitcom, but a really slow and dull one that barely grinds out 22 minutes' worth of plot to fill a 90-minute hole.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    A decent idea for an episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond," The Do-Deca-Pentathlon falls short as a movie.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    At first glance, Grassroots doesn't seem like much of an idea for a movie. Nor at second, third or fourth glance. Your fifth glance will be at your watch, and at sixth glance your eyelids will be getting very, very heavy.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The danger of dreaming up a predictable adventure for a group of nobodies you hold in contempt is that the audience will see your indifference and raise you.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    360
    A sort of "Babel" of bonking, 360 gives us much in the way of international anguish, frustrated coupling and longing stares, but there's very little plausibility or genuine emotion in its egregiously contrived story of ardor gone amiss.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Corny action scenes and borderline-hilarious direction by Isaac Florentine mark the film as an obvious straight-to-video item that somehow took a wrong turn into a movie theater.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    A Walmart "Wall Street," the hedge-fund drama Supercapitalist is junk merchandise stamped "made in China."
    • 58 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The climax is as dull as reading the dictionary of a language you do not speak.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Dire musical interludes are sprinkled throughout the sprawling mess Beloved, an uninvolving would-be romantic epic that spans 45 years in the life of a mother and her daughter, starting in the early 1960s.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Stakes aren't the only problem with this sloppy thriller, which combines careening images with turgid storytelling.
    • 11 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Biehn has appeared in dozens of B-movies and evidently had no greater ambition than to come up with a grindhouse movie full of sex, gore and cheap thrills, but there is far too little of any of these to maintain interest in a straight-on story that reserves its only surprise for the final 30 seconds.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Sundance Mopey Alienation Flick No. 4,228 is For Ellen, an empty angst-athon that proves 90 minutes of close-ups of Paul Dano looking wounded can be even less interesting than it sounds.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    There may be a lot left to say about Hurricane Katrina, but if so, I'm Carolyn Parker doesn't say it.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    All I wanted to do was escape from this aggressively ugly world and its equally unattractive characters. It's not that the movie is in bad taste or cheesy (though it is) but that all of its hyperviolence adds up to nothing: This thing is dedd.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    This is just a slow-moving skin flick broken up by lots of boring discussions about Cherry's future.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The Paperboy can't decide whether to be an unfunny sex comedy, a half-hearted detective story or a woeful race drama - so it decides to be all three, then becomes yet another movie (a swampy "Heart of Darkness") in the final act.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Directed by journeyman actor Matthew Lillard, this tame and by-the-numbers effort never succeeds in making the outcast situation cinematic or interesting.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    It's another in the bicoastal indie industry's endless series of self-congratulatory comedies about the alleged dopiness of middle American hicks who do things like read Parade magazine and decorate with flags.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    There needs to be a 12-step program for movie people to stop sharing their "deeply personal" yet insight-free stories of addiction.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The parallels between the kids' war and the real one are made far too obvious by Christophe Barratier, who made the equally treacly "The Chorus" and infests the movie with nonstop musical goo.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Even if you overlooked the production values from a 1986 porno and special effects like something your nephew cooked up on his Mac, the movie's "Yay, money!" zingers are just a big bag of sad.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    None of Dunham's humor comes across, except when someone says, "And when you speak, your words are snakes I swat at with swords," which is hilarious, but not intentionally.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    I'll grant that the film has many layers. All of them are terrible.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Cancels itself out by being too campy to take seriously and too tragic to laugh at.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    At 96 minutes it is exactly 93 1/2 minutes too long. If they're going to put this artifact in theaters, they'd better charge 1973 grindhouse prices: a dollar a ticket.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    A low-watt, low-wit comedy.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    This infomercial for Helnwein's work as designer for an Israeli opera called "The Child Dreams" doesn't tell us a lot about how opera comes together, but it is accidentally revealing about its subject.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Painful, misshapen and a little gross. It's an enlarged prostate of a movie.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    If the poor really interested such filmmakers, these movies would have something to offer other than lugubriousness masquerading as seriousness, and clichés presented as hard truths.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Among gay Jewish French postman movies, Let My People Go! may be a Hall of Fame entry, but alas, by any other standard this would-be sex comedy is a dismal failure.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    A supernatural horror-comedy that's frighteningly lacking in wit, John Dies at the End thinks it's "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" for dudes. But in its randomness, its vulgarity and its level of humor, it's more like the collected writings on the walls of a roadside men's room.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    There was a time when the climate-change alarmist movement was like a guy with a megaphone at your ear, but now it’s more like a squirrel at your shoelaces.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    I’d like to take back all those times I said Nicolas Cage was one of the most annoying actors on film. It turns out he’s equally terrible when he’s only on the soundtrack. And yet Cage is the least of the problems with The Croods.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    A preposterous supernatural thriller that inexplicably managed to sign up Julianne Moore to star.
    • 11 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    This is a horror movie that’s really a supposed comedy; she’s (Lohan) a supposed comedy actress who’s actually scary.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Just because two people are miserable doesn’t mean they’re interesting.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    A weird mash-up of disaster, horror and dystopia genre pictures, Aftershock fails to make the Earth move.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The terrorism thriller Java Heat sure is violent. I don’t even want to tell you how viciously Mickey Rourke mangles the French accent he’s trying to do.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    At least there is a happy ending — DeChristopher, for wasting the government’s resources, properly served 21 months in federal prison. Now, he has moved on to Harvard Divinity School, where his sanctimony will serve him well.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    It seems more likely that a dumb movie will lead only to a time-wasting surge in applications from dummies. Maybe The Internship was secretly funded by Bing.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    A dull drama about domestic squabbling that hopes to be mistaken for a thriller.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Though darker elements loom in the shadows, nothing in this painfully sincere film is remotely affecting; just think of it as “My So-Called Strife.”
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    In Vehicle 19, Paul Walker is back behind the wheel again, but this time it’s a rented minivan and the plot is brainless even for a Paul Walker movie. Get ready for “The Slow and the Spurious.”
    • 66 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Neil Jordan’s Byzantium dares to rework “Twilight” with twice the teen moping and Robert Pattinson replaced by a guy with the sexual magnetism of a sickly Ron Weasley.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    How bad could the boneyard be compared to sitting through this execrable piece of non-entertainment? Better dead than RED 2.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Even for a mumblecore film, Computer Chess is weak stuff, a punitively dull chunk of quirk that is about, and feels like, being stuck in a motel with a gaggle of programming nerds for a weekend.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    In the ’80s, I hated Ronald Reagan, Bob Dylan and the Smurfs. It’s comforting to know I got one thing right.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The movie, directed by the formerly promising Rawson Marshall Thurber (the hilarious “Dodgeball” and the awful “The Mysteries of Pittsburgh”), thinks it’s subverting the conventions of the sitcom with a revolutionary new idea, which is: Do everything exactly the way a sitcom would, plus lots of swearing and dirty jokes.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones hopes to be the start of a new franchise for tweens and Twihards, but the twuth is this twash is anything but a twiumph.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Dull yet contrived drama.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Whelk, I hope the makers of Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs earned a nice celery, but I’m afraid they made a hash of things. A hash seasoned with oy sauce.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Remember when Robert De Niro was an interesting actor? These days his talent, like his character in The Family, is in the witness protection program, never to be seen again.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    This comedy is cringe-inducingly lame and the dramatic turns are visible as far in advance as utility poles on the prairie.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    A contrived comedy that could have made an especially weak episode of “Everybody Loves Raymond.”
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Drifts awkwardly between popcorn entertainment and angsty mood piece.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Hire “Dreamgirls” director Bill Condon to tell the story of Julian Assange and WikiLeaks? Sure, and next let’s hear from Lady Gaga on the Higgs boson particle.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    This whole movie is pretty much a mental colon blow.
    • 76 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    With Philomena, British producer-writer-star Steve Coogan and director Stephen Frears hit double blackjack, finding a true-life tale that would enable them to simultaneously attack Catholics and Republicans. There’s no other purpose to the movie, so if 90 minutes of organized hate brings you joy, go and buy your ticket now.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The movie is essentially a theater piece in which Nolan (Walker) is mostly alone on screen, making use of what he finds a la John McClane, but without the smart pacing or inventiveness of “Die Hard.”
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Even the audience at whom the movie is aimed — the crowd for whom dinner and a movie means meeting up at 3 p.m. — will be bored by the stale funk coming off every scene.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    It’s unspeakably depressing to see Anna Paquin playing the mom (of a teenager!), but the pointlessness and mediocrity of the Paquin-produced Free Ride is even more depressing.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    A film so self-serious that it demands to be remade as a Seth MacFarlane farce, The Truth About Emanuel mixes the ludicrous and the pretentious in a story about mommy issues gone wild.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Ride Along tries to be a comic version of “Training Day,” only there’s nothing in it as funny as Denzel razzing Ethan. There’s nothing much funny in it at all.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    A dismal rom-com for dudes that makes the average beer commercial look nuanced and plot-heavy.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Del Toro overdoes the anguish to the point of looking like he’s playing advanced constipation, and the film, by France’s Arnaud Desplechin, gets stuck in an endless series of therapy scenes built around cheesy re-enactments of Jimmy P’s dreams.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Your average episode of “Days of Our Lives” is less soapy (and performed with more restraint).
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Besson provided the story and co-wrote the screenplay for a film directed by McG, who does his usual McGhastly job with action and is McGruesome when it comes to comedy.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    A young Jack Nicholson might have pulled this off, but Jason Bateman is not Jack Nicholson. Pity the actor who thinks he’s edgier than he actually is.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    This pointless study of a witless character is a sad waste of Law’s talents. The more zestily he delivers Dom’s profane tirades, the more you wish Shepard gave us a reason to care about this lout.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    I think I’d rather have the waterboarding than the movie’s bromides about how we’re all victims and hate must end.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Draft Day is lumbering and predictable, and its hero general manager is so dumb it should have been called “Dummyball.”
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Dystopia’s supposed to be worse than what’s in the papers, fellas. Try to keep up.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Barrymore is still cute, and she and Sandler at least seem to like each other as they get on with the grim business of rom-com contrivance.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Clive Owen stumbles around the scenery doing unfortunate drunken-writer shtick in Words and Pictures, a formula movie whose script is yet more unfortunate.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Even at a cramped and frenetic 82 minutes, the movie feels long. That’s what happens when the audience can guess everything that’s going to happen in advance.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    There’s nothing wrong with being a brainless B-movie, but this one is funless and lackluster, a grinding mess of pulp clichés with dull characters, perfunctory violence and dim plotting.
    • 11 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    The Lord works in mysterious ways but Persecuted works in blundering, obvious ways, straining a Christianity-under-attack theme through a dopey thriller.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    I’ve read ingredients labels that were scarier than The Purge: Anarchy, a plodding horror flick that mistakenly thinks it has big ideas.
    • 76 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    Guardians of the Galaxy brings to mind some of the most unforgettable sci-fi event movies of the last 30 years. Alas, those films are “Howard the Duck” and “Green Lantern.”
    • 59 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    What If is a case of the cutes the way the Black Death was a case of infectious disease. The movie is saturated with cute, teeming with cute, rancid with cute. I’d endured all a man could fairly be expected to take when I glanced at my watch and realized there were still 95 minutes to go.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 25 Kyle Smith
    They’ve been around so long that they’re now the Middle-Aged Mutant Ninja Turtles, and their ’80s vibe — cowabunga, dude! — is so strong that I kept expecting a cameo by Huey Lewis or Max Headroom.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    The only thing that's shocking about Death of a President is how boring it is.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Martin Short as Jack Frost, means we're getting a turkey and a ham for the holidays. As for Tim Allen as Scott Calvin, an ordinary guy who took over Santa's job by chance, he's more like a tasteless lump of mashed potatoes.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    A comedy that locks up Will Arnett's talent and throws away the key.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    If I wanted to spend $10.75 making myself sick, I'd buy a bottle of cheap tequila.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    89 minutes go by like 89 hours. Not just 89 regular hours either: 89 hours of being stuck in an airport. During a blizzard. While Lewis Black sleeps drooling on your shoulder.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Screamers, one of the most bizarre documentaries you'll ever not see.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    This kids' cartoon from France is such a surreally demented attempt to connect with children that it's the equivalent of foie gras breakfast cereal or a bleu cheese milkshake.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    As for the script, a wittier director would have spotted the absurd elements and delivered a horror-comedy instead of a straight-faced bore.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    The chick comedy-drama Catch and Release may look bland, but it's not. It's worse. To rise to the level of blandness, it would need to have a few gallons of Tabasco dumped into it.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    This spoof of "The Da Vinci Code," "Pirates of the Caribbean," "Harry Potter," "The Chronicles of Narnia" and other recent blockbusters piles up sex gags, toilet gags and make-you-gag gags.
    • New York Post
    • 49 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    This spring, boredom has a new name: Lucky You. In the poker flick, an announcer calling a climactic poker match uses a Texas hold 'em term frequently, saying, "And the flop. And the flop. And the flop." This movie reviews itself.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    WARNING: Do not take your mom to Georgia Rule unless she's Roseanne Barr. You may expect a three-generational chick flick, but what you get is a child-rape comedy.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Watching I'm Reed Fish is like being forced to read the diary of a dull-witted teen who is breathlessly beginning a lifelong fascination with himself.
    • 13 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    A comedy for no ages, has an amazing amount of CGI - Cuba Gooding Incompetence.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Even worse than the hacky chick revenge fantasy now showing on channel 186 of your box.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    A comedic sinkhole, a dramatic tundra.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Good Luck Chuck, a fungal little sex comedy, doesn't need a review. It needs a tube of ointment and a shot of penicillin.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Shoot ’em up, run ’em over, blast ’em with flame-throwers, who cares? These creatures are only there to go splat.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Not like a lump of coal in your stocking. Coal is useful; you can burn it. This movie is more like a lump of something Blitzen left behind after eating a lot of Mexican food.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    At 96 minutes, this vanity/insanity project runs a bit long; five minutes would have been plenty.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    If someone ran this guy through a scanner, the readout would say: “Mark down and stock in straight-to-video aisle."
    • 30 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    The year's dullest movie has arrived: the deeply silly Badland, which is as dead as winter and twice as long.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    This film is headed quickly for DVD. In the video store, though, it isn't funny enough to be shelved in the comedy section nor dirty enough to be filed with the smut. It might be useful in propping up a wobbly chair, though.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    88 Minutes holds you in a state of acute suspense, keeping you wondering until the very last minute whether this is the worst Al Pacino movie ever made.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    It's something old, it's something new, it's something borrowed and it's something that blows.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    This adventurously awful film is awful in many ways at once.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    The bad movie in my head was far better than the one on-screen, which offers no twists at all. A twist? There isn't even a curl or a bend.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    I went in expecting to be disappointed, but even so, I was disappointed.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    As usual, Hartnett exhibits the acting ability of linoleum; his performance would not be measurably changed if he lapsed into a coma halfway through. Only an amusing cameo by David Bowie enlivens things, but he's onscreen for just about two minutes at the end.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    A slow ride to nowhere.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    The laughs begin with the excellent title Hamlet 2 - and they end there.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    The movie boasts five Oscar winners. That figure exceeds by five the number of times I laughed at this cheap collection of icky jokes.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    A Liam Neeson thriller so lacking in ambition they should have called it "Paycheck."
    • 36 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    A grubby cut-price sci-fi thriller.
    • 7 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    For a horny-road-trip flick that's actually funny, check out last year's "Sex Drive," which just came out on video.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Formerly a real American hero, G.I. Joe is no longer a hero (it's a group) or American. (It's a multinational team of military superstars, though the way it does business, you'd feel safer with the Croatian navy on your side.)
    • 33 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Love Happens is a weepie about the grieving process, mainly my own.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Calls to mind Grandpa taking out his dentures and trying to put on a comedy monster show for little kids at Halloween: When he tries to be scary, he's goofy, but when he tries to be goofy, he's scary.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    If anything is frightening here, it's the scenes of the small children being indoctrinated into an organic lifestyle and being made to sing, at least three times, a song about the evils supposedly lurking in the environment around them.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Not just a shabby "Wall Street" knockoff clogged with dull, jargon-spewing trading-desk scenes that fail to advance the plot in any way. It's also a nondescript "Sex and the City" retread.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Someday, The Bounty Hunter and last month’s “Cop Out” will be featured in a cable movie double bill as the two worst 1988 films of 2010.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    This movie -- G.I. Joke, The D-Team -- tries to do so little, and yet falls so short. A clue comes when the girl asks Clay, "How's your steak?" and he replies, "Meaty." Simple enough to achieve in theory, but this would-be treat for cinematic carnivores is a sawdust sandwich.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    There's a reason you've never seen the words "Will Forte" topping the billing of a major motion picture. After the throbbing flameball of unfunny that is MacGruber, you never will again.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Ice Cube's well-worn performance as a wise old geezer is the only bright spot in a movie that otherwise fumbles every opportunity to be funny, exciting or insightful.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    When I'm Still Here reached its climactic moment -- Joaquin Phoenix puking into a toilet -- I had never before felt quite so much like a toilet.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Oh, and one more thing the comedy of Jackass 3D has in common with "The Divine Comedy": Neither of them is funny.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    There isn't enough plot in this amateurish mope-athon to fill up a half-hour TV show.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Everybody flirts with everyone else as director John Irvin pours on a level of shopping-mall-gift-shop-kitsch that would shame Wayne Newton.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Little Fockers may not be the worst, most vulgar, most pathetic and least funny picture of the year. But it's a strong contender for second place behind the picture Brett Favre allegedly sent over his cellphone.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    You know you're in trouble when you're suffering a comedy shutout and the pinch-hitters you send in are Kidman and Dave Matthews.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Isn't quite insipid, although if it were a little better, it could be.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    At the end, as Shadyac proclaims, "I stopped flying privately" (well, hurrah for you, Mahatma), renounces his Pasadena mansion and moves into a trailer park, the results of his epiphany grow funnier than any of his movies.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Parents should take their children to Hoodwinked Too! Hood Vs. Evil, if only because kids are never too young to learn the important and liberating skill of walking out of a movie and demanding a refund.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Rookie director Sean Kirkpatrick keeps stomping on the drama pedal while blowing the cliché horn, yielding scene after tired scene of predictable developments as the principals keep shoving guns into mouths and screaming obscenities.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    The mystery is why the filmmakers thought third-graders or anyone else would be willing to pay for this master class in tedium.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Coincidence and contrivance are the name of the game throughout.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    A dumbass "Kick-Ass," the superhero comedy Griff the Invisible sits on the screen like a steaming lump of Kryptonite.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Luc Besson keeps ralphing up scripts about beautiful lady killers, but that doesn't mean you have to keep seeing them. Case in point: Colombiana...[a] dull cable-TV-quality item.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Chlamydia, gonorrhea and Jason Sudeikis are three reasons to stay well clear of A Good Old Fashioned Orgy, but they're not the only ones.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    A thoroughly amateurish effort at capturing clued-in and smartass teens.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Actual abduction may be preferable to the movie of the same name, but only if your kidnappers don't torture you by forcing you to watch it.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Cage and director Joel Schumacher, who has fallen so far from the A-list that he provokes a demand for new letters of the alphabet after Z, have each found their cinematic soulmates.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Ho-ho-huh? Arthur Christmas is an animated kiddie comedy that delivers all the wonder you'd expect in a movie about a guy delivering one package. Maybe they should have called it "UPS Man: The Movie."
    • 44 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Depravity and addiction can be dramatic and fascinating, or they can be as they are in this week's indie filthathon Cook County.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Contraband aims to be dumb fun but gets only the first half right.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Romantic comedies are often as contrived and irritating as Loosies, but few feature a lead character so lacking in appeal.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Besson co-wrote and produced this cheesy mash-up of elements from James Bond and "Battlestar Galactica."
    • 37 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    A would-be piece of pulp fiction about a parolee trying to go straight, The Samaritan proves that even Samuel L. Jackson can be boring.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    The nicest thing I can think of to say about the doc Neil Young Journeys is that at least it isn't in 3-D.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    A sleazy and pointless film about sleazy and pointless people, Killer Joe reminds us that what Quentin Tarantino does isn't easy.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Put it this way: Jimmy Carter was funnier than this movie.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Formerly a maker of bad, but at least angry, movies, Spike Lee now seems to be trying to be the world's oldest student filmmaker. Take out the rookie mistakes from Red Hook Summer, and there'd be nothing left.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    It's a time capsule from a strange moment - like "Hair" without the groovy music.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Molly Ringwald-like, Wren must choose between two guys: the nerdy Roosevelt (Thomas Mann) and the Porsche-driving Aaron (Thomas McDonell), but both are so dull it's hard to care. So feeble is the movie that even the wacky, redheaded best friend (Jane Levy) isn't funny.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    I can't remember ever seeing such a spectacular implosion of a squad of all-stars as Rise of the Guardians. Well, not since Yankee Stadium in October.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    One of those movies that comes "straight from the heart" - the heart of the hack screenwriter's manual that pushes formulaic structure to cover up a lack of compelling characters, genuine emotion or actual humor.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Just because your comedy is dumb doesn’t mean it’s funny.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    While a mob thriller can be as nasty as it likes, what it can’t be is silly.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    The good news is that The Hangover Part III isn't a rerun like the second episode. The bad news is everything else. For all the promise of mayhem and WTF moments, the final episode hits you with all the force of a warm can of O'Doul's.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Someday, when gay Americans enjoy full equality, we can all hope their sexuality will finally stop being used as fodder for dopey, hopelessly contrived dramas like I Do.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Anything can happen when Michael Cera wanders around Chile without a script on a mission to get high on mescaline. Or, in the case of Crystal Fairy, nothing could happen, too.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    For a movie that so strenuously rips off “Ghostbusters” and “Men in Black,” R.I.P.D. manages to come up with fresh new ways of being absolutely terrible.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Getaway is so bad that what’s most surprising about it is that Nicolas Cage didn’t manage to star in it. But one man can only do so many low-rent projects a year.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    It settles for being a bland and preposterous thriller.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    That Awkward Moment is a rom-com for dudes that seeks to outdo the ladies by being even more insipid, formulaic and contrived than anything Katherine Heigl has ever done.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    A buddy comedy that reeks like stale underpants.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    Paul Haggis’ Third Person has nothing to say and spends 2 ¹/₂ hours not saying it. Its combination of pretentiousness, vanity and vapidity suggests Alain Resnais directing a triple episode of “Guiding Light.”
    • 39 Metascore
    • 12 Kyle Smith
    This one resembles a James Bond film about as much as Belgrade resembles London.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 0 Kyle Smith
    It's trashy and disgusting - and those are the best parts. Mostly it's just an endless, pointless drone with characters like bacteria and dialogue like an untuned radio.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 0 Kyle Smith
    God, if you exist, why do you keep letting morons like Walsch get rich?
    • 41 Metascore
    • 0 Kyle Smith
    Williams appears to be having trouble keeping his eyes open, and the audience will, too.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 0 Kyle Smith
    A feeble dramedy about a Baltimore beauty shop where someone should come in to sweep up the clichés.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 0 Kyle Smith
    The real mystery here is why this slapdash semi-effort didn't go straight to video.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 0 Kyle Smith
    Succeeds completely at failure; the unified incompetence of its writing, directing and acting suggest a man who manages to be on fire and drowning at the same time, just as the bus runs him over.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 0 Kyle Smith
    With its dopey fight scenes, grimy look and goopy gore, this movie is so far from ept that inept is the wrong word. It's anti-ept.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 0 Kyle Smith
    State of Play is bordered by the states of absurdity and cliché.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 0 Kyle Smith
    Damonically awful.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 0 Kyle Smith
    The would-be noir Beyond a Rea sonable Doubt has an absurd story, but on the plus side you can hardly see what's going on because the photography is so murky.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 0 Kyle Smith
    Grotesquely unfunny comedy.
    • 6 Metascore
    • 0 Kyle Smith
    If Ed Wood had directed "The Silence of the Lambs," it might have been as unintentionally hilarious as the goofball would-be thriller The Abduction of Zack Butterfield.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 0 Kyle Smith
    Wince-worthy as Guttenberg is, he cannot be accused of being worse than the amateurish direction and the trite script (both by Allie Dvorin) stuffed with insufferable romcom banter and putrid dirty jokes. Some films go straight to video; this one should have bypassed that step and headed for the incinerator.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 0 Kyle Smith
    Tim & Eric seem driven by a hatred of the audience and a wish to punish the same. Every episode of every sitcom I've ever seen is funnier than this movie, and I used to watch "Just Shoot Me."
    • 46 Metascore
    • 0 Kyle Smith
    There is one big winner in this mess, though. Congratulations, 1961's "Snow White and the Three Stooges": You're now the second-worst movie on the subject.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 0 Kyle Smith
    The movie seems to think it's building up massive suspense by not telling us our hero's back story, but given that the wife and kid aren't around and he keeps telling people who ask that he's not divorced, it's obvious they're dead. The only mystery, then, is what exactly happened to them. The answer is: nothing interesting.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 0 Kyle Smith
    Grueling vanity piece.
    • 9 Metascore
    • 0 Kyle Smith
    The movie is so inept - with its flat characters, histrionic acting, dull dialogue ("Killing him is not going to change anything"), a dreadfully overdone musical score and la-la-la flashbacks starring the kid - that its clichés grow slightly funny. But not funny enough to make the endless torture scenes bearable.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 0 Kyle Smith
    I didn't know whether to be more offended as a moviegoer or as an American, but I do know I'd rather gargle nitroglycerine than watch this again, though given that the film looks like it were buried under a log cabin for a century, I barely saw it the first time.