Lawrence Toppman
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For 1,433 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 56% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 41% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 4.7 points higher than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Lawrence Toppman's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 64
Highest review score: 100 The Dark Knight
Lowest review score: 0 Left Behind
Score distribution:
1,433 movie reviews
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    You can get all of this free on television any week, so why pay for it?
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    This film might have been daringly funny 10 years ago, even with its broadest elements intact. Now it's comfortable as old slippers and unthreatening as a sleeping kitten.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The hot comic du jour wants to startle us but is merely startlingly dull.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Passed as slowly as if I'd been sitting naked on an igloo, Formula 51 sank from quirky to jerky to utter turkey.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The worst thing about the picture is that the people involved all seem to realize it's generic.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    We waited 10 years for a sequel to the movie version of "The X-Files" – and the best Chris Carter could do is The X-Files: I Want to Believe?
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Epps emerges mostly unscathed, and Dutton gives an excellent performance; he's as able before the camera as he is inept behind it.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Angelina Jolie is definitely worth her salt as an action hero, but Salt is never worth its Angelina Jolie.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    See not only the original "Detective" but the Steve Martin-Bernadette Peters film "Pennies From Heaven." If you insist on giving Downey and company $8 instead, you'll be getting wooden nickels from Hell.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    No movie this year will better embody Macbeth's description of life itself: "a tale ... full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    How bad, really, could it be? I couldn't have guessed.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Martin, who plays Clouseau and wrote the script with Len Blum, has completely mishandled the character.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Souza and Shelton throw in all kinds of ridiculous devices they learned in second-year screenwriting class.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    OK, so no plot, really.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    If you get past the preposterous hypothesis at the start of Return to Me, you'll find a passably pleasant, utterly bland romantic comedy without a surprise to its 110 minutes.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    You could dismiss it, as I do, as an impenetrable and insufferable ball of pseudo-philosophic twaddle.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The Truth About Charlie...is that this "Charade" remake is a lumpen bore.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    What a riveting movie The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen might have been! And what a rickety mess it turned out to be when the people responsible lost faith in the origin of the material!
    • 51 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The final sad joke is this: Weitz took a wonderful story about the danger of severing a soul from its otherwise empty body and did that very thing to his source.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Visually compelling, relentlessly loud and so shallow you need just a fragment of your brain to follow it.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Speaking of sounding Southern, I have to admit that the accents didn't match, and half the actors couldn't even do accents. But since we all sound alike down here, that's no big deal.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Attaching Chris Rock to I Think I Love My Wife is like chaining a Kentucky Derby winner to the merry-go-round in a petting zoo. His humor is hobbled, his personality dulled, his energy depleted. Who's responsible for this lapse in judgment? Chris Rock.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The special effects excite at first but wear out their welcome.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The storytelling is inept and illogical.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    I hope his life was less dull than the movie he's made from it.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    De Niro wears a shamefaced look most of the time, as if doubly embarrassed: He agreed to a movie he knew was worthless, yet he's too lazy or indifferent to give us his best.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    I expected Get Rich or Die Tryin' to be gritty, scary, maybe disturbing or thought-provoking. What I didn't realize was that it would be so dull that any other effect it could have made was wiped away.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Gosling's been better elsewhere but delivers an adequate performance. McGregor and Watts seem baffled most of the time, as well they might be. Forster keeps us from drifting off with inventive camerawork; in this case, that's like saying a hideous suit has well-stitched lapels.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    It's blah. Worse than blah, actually, because it's so stupid.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Wilson brings low-wattage amiability to his part, as always. Hudson's mismatched with him but tries to set him afire.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Plays like some uninformed seventh-grader's view of gay men.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The movie is as padded as Allen's jelly belly.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The filmmakers find "laughs" in sadistic violence.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Yet even the language, finally, becomes as inauthentic as the accents.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Dark Blue proves again what a remarkable actor Denzel Washington is. Too bad he's not in it.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Utterly generic.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Solaris is a film where people...often...speak... like... this, and the camera moves slowly across sterile interiors.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Long before this interminable film reaches its bogus finale, you'll realize that the people in it aren't real.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Goes wrong in less than two minutes, which may be a world record for sequels to decent movies.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Writer-director Coppola and her production team have gotten the look of the late 18th century right...But they've gotten almost everything else wrong.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Interesting and idiotic elements almost exactly balance each other.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Everything about the film seems to have been done on the cheap. The music sounds like it came from a high school band.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The writers supply character traits that seem to point toward a pay-off but never reach one. People all end up as tight-lipped, indistinguishable automatons who plummet 50 feet down jagged rocks with scarcely a scratch.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Repeated lapses in continuity and common sense.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Though the writing doesn't work, you have to give Burns credit for shrewd direction. He gets the best performances I've seen from Graham and Murphy.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    It starts as enjoyable B-movie pulp, degenerates to camp, then turns into laughable lunacy.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Sandler proves even a hardened Israeli secret service agent can be an imbecilic juvenile.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    It's theoretically possible to make a fascinating film about a thieving, self-indulgent, freebasing, treacherous scumbag who pimps his girlfriend to a gangster and contributes nothing to society. Wonderland isn't that film.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    A frenzied, cacophonic cartoon.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    This picture has an ugly habit of humiliating Bridget, which "Diary" did not.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Without a plausible script, crisp dialogue or rounded characters, the majority of the picture will sag gracelessly.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    ATL
    Director Chris Robinson moves his camera aimlessly, cutting in and out of speeches as if he were just as bored as I.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Most painfully, the semi-alert Owen and the leaden Aniston go together like sausages and syrup.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The truly appalling thing, though, is the stupidity of the screenplay by Richard Kelly.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    What's the message: that women must remain vigilant about poundage to keep husbands from chasing taut-thighed secretaries? That's a charitable Christmas thought.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    A fairy tale full of fascist, Bible-thumping straights, self-deluded and pathetic gay people who deny their impulses, and two honest lesbians who triumph.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Better than you might expect, if you didn't expect it to be any good.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    There's nothing more painful than watching comics tank, and Looking for Comedy in a Muslim World is a 95-minute wince.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Of COURSE it's bad. It was always going to be. But it's worse than necessary.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    There's one thing to be said for The Perfect Man: It confirms my belief that I'll never need to see another Hilary Duff movie until (1) she turns 30 or (2) she plays a crackhead in "Requiem for a Dream II."
    • 61 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    It's almost impossible for a movie to go irrevocably wrong during the opening credits, but the ceaselessly irritating The Jane Austen Book Club does just that.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Hamlet has audacity, intelligence, a provocative visual and musical style, virtually no poetry, a garbled story line weakened by savage cutting of the play, and a great yawning hole where a Hamlet ought to be.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The script by Kristofor Brown and Seth Rogen and the direction by Steven Brill have a careless, never-gave-a-damn feel that's as insulting to viewers as the film is dull.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The film's filled with inconsequential scenes and supporting characters who add useless atmosphere or by-the-book diversity.
    • 15 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The assault is against our ears, as the soundtrack pours forth a stream of thrash and Goth music.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The opposite of memorable.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Isn't satisfying or surprising. It doesn't even make sense from scene to scene.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Sometimes seems longer than a rainy Super Bowl.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    You'll have to swallow this gooey confection whole or spit it out after the first couple of bites.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    A mind-numbing carnival of violence.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    He (Murphy) can't make chicken a la king from the chicken manure supplied by the writers.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Is Josh Hartnett attracted to cinematic bombs, or do movies merely self-destruct once he signs on as the leading man?
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Far be it from me to spoil the secret, but I will say this: The last reel should've been sent straight to the city dump.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    It's neither dull nor stimulating, neither off-putting nor engaging.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    After five minutes, Christopher Walken vanishes. We wait vainly for the next 90 minutes for someone, anyone to bring that kind of danger, unpredictability and vitality to a story as drab as army fatigues.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The Critic's Code of Honor forbids me from explaining in detail why the storytelling is so inept, because I'd have to spoil the silly surprises. So I'll say only this: You can interpret the climax two ways, and both will probably infuriate you.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The only interesting character is the dragon, who grows from an adorably dependent baby to a protective, intelligent adult voiced by Rachel Weisz.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    A punch-drunk lightweight. Inside the ring, it lands some forceful punches. Outside the ring, it stumbles around, swinging wildly at nothing, until it collapses.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Writer-director Barry Levinson leaned on Robin Williams the way a one-ring circus relies on its lone acrobat. So they're jointly responsible for the film's utter failure.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Just a great, empty wind machine.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    A long, slow pity party full of characters who constantly bemoan their fate while telling other people not to pity themselves.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The story's so sloppy that it contradicts itself constantly.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Melvin Van Peebles wrote and directed the biting "Don't Play Us Cheap" 30 years ago to complain about racial stereotyping in films. But Hollywood never listened. It kept playing African -Americans cheap in mainstream comedies, whether the directors were white or black. Deliver Us From Eva -- is one of the worst recent offenders.
    • 78 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Punch-Drunk Love buries a terrific performance by Adam Sandler under a heap of faux cleverness, meaningless symbolism and irritating mannerisms.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Man on Fire is as ludicrous as "John Q," "Virtuosity" and "Out of Time," yet substantially more violent, artificial, self-conscious and dull.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    There's nothing wrong with Simpson's performance that a head transplant wouldn't cure, and the grinning Reynolds looks Botoxed into immobility.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Errors in logic will delight the attentive.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    As Disney-fied as "Pinocchio," barely challenging the images Americans have treasured for 150 years.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Since there can be no suspense, the point is to enjoy the hewing of limbs and the severing of necks, to delight in chopped-off fingers and gouged-out eyes. The title characters are embodiments of utter evil, right?
    • 59 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The movie that's meant to be his (Apatow) most personal turns out to be his most dully generic.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Ronan, however, transcends the script. She's innocent yet wise, gentle yet forceful. She's the one thing in this picture that shows how great a movie The Lovely Bones might have been, had the people who made it believed in the book with all their hearts.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    I also wondered how the movie got the title Cradle 2 the Grave. Nobody used the phrase; it didn't apply to any characters; it didn't even turn up in a song. Maybe the filmmakers were saving "Rotten 2 the Core" for the sequel.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    No one associated with the film tries very hard, from cinematographer Peter Deming -- San Francisco has never looked so drab -- to composer Mark Isham, whose watery jazz score is meant to summon melancholy but merely relieves insomnia.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    If you really must see Miami Vice (and you mustn't), buy a ticket to something better, then slip into "Vice" at the 95-minute mark and watch the last third of the movie. No one involved will profit by your curiosity, and you won't miss a thing of importance.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The picture brims over with ideas - good ones, silly ones, maudlin ones, witty ones, absurd ones - and they bump up against each other like ingredients in a vast stewpot that never comes to a continuous boil.
    • Charlotte Observer
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The sequel to the 2008 hit “Twilight” makes no effort to satisfy outsiders. It's strictly for devotees who won't balk at plot absurdities, clunky dialogue and patchy characterizations.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    A frantic, heartless hodgepodge of pieces from James Bond movies, Indiana Jones adventures, "Star Wars" and half a dozen legends.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Looks as if it were thrown together as carelessly as slum housing.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    The film's as chaotic and heavy-handed as "Summer of Sam" without the same sense of harsh reality.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 38 Lawrence Toppman
    Excruciatingly flat comedy.

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