Lisa Schwarzbaum

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For 1,916 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 71% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 27% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 7.7 points higher than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Lisa Schwarzbaum's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 69
Highest review score: 100 Blue Car
Lowest review score: 0 88 Minutes
Score distribution:
1916 movie reviews
    • 37 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Myself, I felt victimized by the stereotype shtick of reliably grating Rob Schneider as a Canadian-Japanese wedding-chapel minister from SNL castoff hell. But maybe that's just because this movie encourages sensitivity by hitting everyone over the head with its humor hammer.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Peculiarly coy feminine-empowerment fable.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The only real magic in The Lake House is that Kate and Alex have never heard of e-mail.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Reeves is a stiff dancer and he delivers his lines in a full leather jacket monotone.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Strands Cedric the Entertainer behind the wheel and forces him to motor a collection of laugh-and-learn wacky situations by sheer force of his outsize charm.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The lame-o aspects of the whole campy setup are still lame-o.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Earnestly ersatz down to every spangle, dance move, plot turn, and line of hokum dialogue, Burlesque is a showbiz pic for these American Idol times - a time when we agree to pretend that mediocre mimicry of better artists is good enough to keep us entertained. We agree to pretend that quality is in the eye and ear of the undemanding beholder.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Writer-director Steven Zaillian's version stultifies, especially when compared with Robert Rossen's fiery 1949 Oscar winner. How could such dullness defeat the retelling, when Willie Stark is one of the most vivid characters in 20th-century American popular culture?
    • 56 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The movie is rotten the way that only a denatured made-for-export slice of Gallic nostalgia can be.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    I just don't know any chick who will make sense of this flick -- it's that blitheringly out of touch with present psychosexual (never mind feminist) time and space.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    You should hear instead about Sam Elliott and Mary Steenburgen, who whip up cowboy fun as married U.S. marshals assigned to protect the pair in Wyoming.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The result is a stilted culture clash and a lot of monochromatically conflicted facial expressions from Perry before he's thawed by the love of an ethnic woman.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    No excuse for the bitterness and crudity in America's Sweethearts -- a noxious combination that erodes the 1930s and '40s screwball-comedy armature on which this mirthless movie is based.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Pathfinder's moody, muddy look is courtesy of music-video director Marcus Nispel, who doesn't distinguish between people and tree trunks when it comes to emotional content.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Clumsy camera work adds to the pre-wedding jitters in writer-director Galt Niederhoffer's pashmina-thin drama about attractive self-congratulatory Yale alumni gathering for the nuptials of two of their own.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    In the presence of profound questions, the filmmaker goes profoundly shallow.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    So many body parts from other engineered romantic comedies have been crudely harvested and stitched together in the making of this weird robotic lark that "Maid of Honor of Frankenstein" might be more useful a nickname.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Bassett's natural dramatic fierceness, so powerful when incited to action, is at odds with the knee-weakening sexual surrender required by the story.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    With no Jamie Lee Curtis as a volleying partner, though, Lohan's chipper energy is, like, so totally out of proportion given the colorless pliability of everyone around her.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A junky thriller that mistakes brute-strength plot twist, showy violence, and the against-type participation of Jennifer Aniston for earned excitement.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    One piece of advice in trying to make sense of it all: Follow the sleepwear, since Bullock cycles through a few garments that clarify which day is which. Another suggestion? Ignore the two-bit psychological and spiritual doggerel with which screenwriter Bill Kelly tries to deepen the meaning of the game.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The ethos of the Chelsea Hotel may shape Hawke's artistic aspirations, but he hasn't yet coordinated his own DV poetry with the Beat he hears in his soul.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    If this amateur justice league spent as much time analyzing clues as they did analyzing their junk, in every slang variation available in the Urban Dictionary, the murder mystery in The Watch could have been solved on the first night of surveillance.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A brain-squandering thriller.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Twelve ogles the lost boys and girls as they make their mistakes. But unlike the novel, the movie never really gets inside these kids, who aren't in the least all right.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The pond is so shallow in this wan romance that there's no room for anything to float.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A Smith production is always noisy, shambling, and liberally smutty on the outside while conservatively gooey on the inside.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    The result is a naughty throwaway in all senses of the word.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    A poky dawdle of a Southern-style indie that would pass without notice but for John Travolta and Scarlett Johansson.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 42 Lisa Schwarzbaum
    Wan, generically pretty adaptation of Alessandro Baricco's 1996 novel.

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