For 2,200 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 52% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 46% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 0.9 points higher than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Mick LaSalle's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 60
Highest review score: 100 The Merchant of Venice
Lowest review score: 0 Van Helsing
Score distribution:
2,200 movie reviews
    • 60 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    There's only so much Soderbergh can do. Gray's Anatomy is made up mainly of Gray, and there's a whole lot of Gray going on. The story is unremarkable. Gray's observations, pedestrian.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    It has a weak story that provides no tension, feeling or interest. Its opening action sequence is just a long, drawn-out dud, filmed by director John Moore in the worst modern style of quick cuts and smeary, jittery photography.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    That was probably writer-director Roman Coppola's main responsibility in "Charles Swan," to give the audience a character worth watching. Get that right, and everything else falls into place. Get that wrong, and the audience finds out just how long 84 minutes can be. The answer: really long.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    The movie reveals itself as not merely dull, but pointless.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    Just because it's a conscious commentary on other vile, useless, pointless cinematic exercises doesn't make it any less vile, useless and pointless.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    This remake of the 1981 horror classic starts well, but it soon degenerates into tiresome shock gore that overstays its welcome, despite the film's modest run time. Jane Levy as a heroin addict going through withdrawal is the one bright spot.
    • San Francisco Chronicle
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    Credit the director for one thing. He could have stretched it to three hours, but he gets in and out of this mess in less than two.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    If the first "Hangover" movie were this awful, there never would have been a Part Two. This is a joyless, unfunny mix of comedy and drama, a complete waste of time, with exactly one good joke in the entire movie. It comes in the first minute. After that, you can leave.
    • San Francisco Chronicle
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    Jaden is not ready for his solo spotlight, and the film is the same action over and over. Another bad movie from Shyamalan.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    If this is the best we can do in terms of movies - if something like this can speak to the soul of audiences - maybe we should just turn over the cameras and the equipment to the alien dinosaurs and see what they come up with.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    The temptation arises to say something nice about Grown Ups 2 just because it doesn't cause injury. But no, it's a bad movie, too, just old-school bad, the kind that's merely lousy and not an occasion for migraines or night sweats.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    The To Do List is a romantic comedy with no romance and little comedy, but with an ugliness of spirit that's surprising and unrelenting.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    Ugly, gore-strewn and, ultimately, ridiculous.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    It's a complete mess, the spectacle of filmmakers blowing up their movie and everything in it, because they can't think of anything else to do.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    Runner Runner is less than mediocre, but it's not repellent, which means that to watch it is to root for it - and to be disappointed.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    Rarely do two lines go by without Fellowes changing something, always for the worse.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    It's a tepid, quiet and uneventful film, directed almost in slow motion, with no narrative propulsion and with a succession of very similar scenes. The actors speak softly and pause a lot. And in the background is the steady hum of the soundtrack.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    It's possible there has never been anything like it. It contains memorable dialogue, vivid characters and several superb scenes, and yet it still manages to be wrong, a complete miscalculation.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    As good as The Motel Life is for the actors, that's how bad it is for the viewer.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    Drama is as much about perspective as it is about events, and the angle provided by How I Live Now turns out to be self-defeating.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    It shambles and ambles, seemingly without focus or pattern, from one thing to the next. Yet at the same time, it's predictable, not from moment to moment, but in its outlines.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    Results are all that matter, and the result here is that The Desolation of Smaug fails in almost every way, as a story, as an adventure, as a piece of art direction and as a visual spectacle.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    If, while watching The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, you start wondering why Ben Stiller is acting strange, the answer comes during the closing credits: "Directed by Ben Stiller."
    • 58 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    August: Osage County was a three-hour play that felt like two hours. It has been made into a two-hour movie that feels like a month.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    If you think of Pompeii as a ride, a conveyance for special effects, and not anything resembling an emotional experience, indifference can almost be a good thing.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    "300" was an innovative and imaginative action film, but the follow-up, 300: Rise of an Empire, is nothing but a disappointment.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    Consists of long stretches of boredom, banal dialogue and contorted metaphors, interrupted by flashes of ugliness. See it if you want to be put off of sex for a month - longer if you're older, and perhaps for years if you're very young.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    There are phony movies made every week, but this is in a different category - a phony movie that seems a distortion of something real, a phony movie offered in place of the real movie von Trier could have made, but it would have cost him something. Some blood, some truth, some soul. What we're left with instead is an empty gesture.
    • 77 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    Only Lovers Left Alive is simply dead, an exercise in style, bland humor and vague gesture that yet seems to have been made in the naive expectation of a conventional response - that is, of an audience's actually caring.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    Faced with a story that doesn't make much sense, the filmmakers switch gears and try for a sociological statement - something about the marginalized and the neglected. This makes for a funny last five minutes, but sad, too, because Walker was better than this, even if his movies sometimes weren't.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    Badly made and poorly written, Blended is a rehash of Adam Sandler's 2011 comedy "Just Go With It," only without Jennifer Aniston and without laughs. It not only gets the big things wrong. It gets the small, easy things wrong.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    Gradually, FX2 ties itself into a knot it can't undo even with the most desperate of measures. Everything is left hanging, and by the end the plotting is so clumsy it's embarrassing. [10 May 1991, p.E3]
    • San Francisco Chronicle
    • 53 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    The Signal starts off as an alien version of "Blair Witch Project" and then drifts off into cold plotlessness. But for a while, a little while, it seems like it just might be interesting.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    The Dutch thriller Borgman gets credit for being original, but not for being original in a compelling way.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    As a first-time director, Falcone has trouble maintaining a specific tone - the movie wobbles back and forth between sentimentality and silliness, sometimes even within the same scene.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    It's as if there's a barrier between the viewer and the story that never comes down.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    Hellion is so sincere and so dull that some might mistake it for a true work of art.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    Really, The Expendables 3 has only one thing going for it, beyond the unremarkable novelty of seeing lots of celebrities in a lousy movie. It has Mel Gibson, who is at his grim, tormented and quirky best here, playing someone who has crossed a moral line and has no regrets.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 25 Mick LaSalle
    Film anybody's trip to Italy, and it would be more interesting than this, or at least equally boring.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 12 Mick LaSalle
    The best thing in the movie is Peter MacNicol as Dana's boss at the museum, a slippery character with an incomprehensible accent. [16 Jun 1989, p. E1]
    • San Francisco Chronicle
    • 42 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    Doesn't work at all. Even the structure is off.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    The race is on for worst film of the year honors. Among the top contenders: Men Cry Bullets.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    Muddled and endless.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    Despite its actors, its lush photography and its obvious seriousness of purpose, is as close to a form of torture as any film ever devised. I can't think of any individuals I dislike so much as to force them to see this picture.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    In slightly less than 1,000 years, the competition for worst film of the third millennium will be fierce. Yet the smart money may well be on the Korean art film Lies.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    Duller than first version.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    The whole movie is like that: cute, dead and endless.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    Truly awful.
    • 12 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    It's a completely botched effort -- botched in its direction, its writing and editing.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    It is possible to watch 90 minutes of this comedy without once cracking a smile. [12 Jan 1994]
    • San Francisco Chronicle
    • 20 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    It's a dishonest satire that manages to be (disingenuously) contemptuous of white people and (unintentionally) condescending toward black people, without ever being funny.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    Gerry is ragingly bad art that contributes to a definition of independent film as something no one would want to sit through.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    That the movie becomes silly isn't necessarily a problem, but it also becomes tiresome, degenerating into a series of martial arts interludes -- everyone unaccountably leaves his guns at home.
    • 14 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    Remarkably empty, remarkably noisy, remarkably pleasureless. It's unwatchable.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    Achingly long and pointless, "Runs" is a movie about family that's dishonest in its presentation of every relationship.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    One of the downsides of living in a free society is that every so often someone like Myles Berkowitz gets hold of a camera.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    Even camp status eludes this tepid and misguided picture.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    The film is a failure in just about every way, save for its acting, which is adequate.
    • 19 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    Movies don't get much worse.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    A sour story with a repellent lead character, deadly comic schtick and tin-eared direction to produce 90 minutes of sheer, plodding mirthlessness.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    Desperately unfunny action comedy.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    The equivalent of a full-course meal with no calories. It is a mirage of a movie, 100 minutes of nothing.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    An amazing film amazingly tasteless, tin-eared and awkward, but amazing all the same. Anyone with a predilection for bad movies might want to see it, if only in an inspecting-the-wreckage spirit, since because movies this misguided come but once or twice a year.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    Proves that it's possible to make a movie so tasteless and so crude that audiences don't laugh. This is worthwhile information. It means there's a limit.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    It's so low it scrapes through the barrel and deep into the earth's core. It's the lowest piece of garbage to hit screens in months.
    • 18 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    The most thoroughly joyless and inept film of the year, and one of the worst of the decade. We're talking about a disaster, and not of the fun "Showgirls" variety, either.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    If garbage could think, it would look down on 9 Dead Gay Guys as garbage.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    Sommers film just lies there, weighted down by a complete lack of wit, artfulness and internal logic. So it's a disaster -- a big, loud, boring wreck.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    Take a wretched premise. Imagine the worst picture that could be made from it. Then imagine something even worse. That's Alien vs. Predator.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    Four screenwriters are credited with this sloppy piece of work. Divide the embarrassment into quarters.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    The most shocking thing about Harry and Max isn't the subject matter. The most shocking thing is just how tepid it is.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez had their fun with From Dusk Till Dawn, and now they need to stay away from each other. For their own good. Forever.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    How bad does it get? How far past the basement can one elevator go?
    • 67 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    In trouble from its first minutes.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    In stiff competition for the lamest thing ever put on celluloid.
    • 23 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    This may be hard to believe, but there's not a single moment of drama or tension in any of the action sequences. And the film is made up almost entirely of action.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    A graceless, embarrassing effort.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    The best bits come in the first few minutes -- or maybe the jokes just seem fresher then.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    The result is embarrassing: quick cuts and shaky, hand- held camera work, bad acting and lots of attitude.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    Only a complete idiot could think Epic Movie is remotely funny.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    With Lake at the center, something that could have been innocuous becomes painful, and a sure shot at mediocrity is transformed into one of the worst films of the year.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    No more than a minute into this, and it becomes obvious that the next 98 are going to be trouble.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    The script is weak and unrelenting. The stunts are unspectacular. The special effects are nothing you haven't seen before. But worst of all, there's the spectacle of Schwarzenegger glorying in the wonder of Schwarzenegger. [18 Jun 1993, p.C1]
    • San Francisco Chronicle
    • 12 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    Cocktail is unbelievable - a picture that sets itself up as a gritty, authentic character study but is laughable, false and stupid in all its details. The only connection to reality here is that there are actually such things as bartenders. [29 Jul 1988, p.E1]
    • San Francisco Chronicle
    • 32 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    UHF
    In UHF we get 90 minutes of Al Yankovic, and that's 85 minutes too much. The problem isn't that he's weird, but that he isn't weird at all. The premises for his gags are commonplace and predictable, and his follow-throughs lack imagination. He seems incapable of spinning more than one tired joke from each set-up. [21 Jul 1989, p.E1]
    • San Francisco Chronicle
    • 25 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    There's bad, there's awful and there's horrible, and then somewhere beyond that, in its own Kingdom of Lousy -- where all the milk curdles and the jokes aren't funny -- is License to Wed, the latest ghastly exercise starring Robin Williams.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    Directed by Danny Boyle, it lacks even a single moment of charm or interest.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    As plain awful as Untraceable is, possibly the worst thing about it is that it pretends to mean something.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    Aside from being vile and repellent, it's mainly dull - old-fashioned in its shock tactics and culminating in a ho-hum climax.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    Inert, incompetent and emotionally fraudulent.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    A dull, boring, poorly acted, limply written and thoroughly unappealing fantasy, featuring bland characters locked in a struggle of no interest.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    It is a colossal bomb, an epic miscalculation, an excuse for actor self-indulgence and for what sounds very much like bad improvisation.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    No matter how guilty our knucklehead-protagonist's victims supposedly are, it's difficult to maintain a rooting interest.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    Attack the Block is the other alien-invasion movie opening today, the lousy one, the one from Britain. In Britain, it's probably just a regular bad movie, but here - with accents that are barely comprehensible and in-jokes about council flats, not to mention a swerving handheld camera and some of the cheapest effects since "Night of the Lepus" - it's surprising this thing ever got released.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    She's hopeless, he's hopeless, and this movie is just ghastly.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    There's nothing here but wreckage. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows is so ineptly made that the story is advanced solely through announcements.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    An ugly, misguided exercise.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    It's just not enough to say that The Three Stooges is the death of comedy. Rather, it's the death, burial, putrefaction and decomposition of comedy. It is where comedy, once alive, ends up as dust blowing in the wind, like something out of a really bad Kansas song.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    The Collection is bloody, disgusting and ridiculous, but the one thing it's not is horror, not real horror, not in the sense of tense or scary. It's not cinema, either. It's not even fun.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 0 Mick LaSalle
    It represents 2 1/2 of the longest hours on record, a jumbled botch that is so confused in its purpose and so charmless in its effect that it must be seen to be believed, but better yet, no. Don't see it, don't believe it, not unless a case of restless leg syndrome sounds like a fun time at the movies.