For 92 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 31% higher than the average critic
  • 13% same as the average critic
  • 56% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 12 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Simon Abrams' Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 47
Highest review score: 100 Cosmopolis
Lowest review score: 0 Zookeeper
Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 29 out of 92
  2. Negative: 34 out of 92
92 movie reviews
    • 34 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    If nothing else, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reminds us that nostalgia is often used as a mandate for spectacularly lazy filmmaking.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    The Good Doctor isn't a ponderous bore because Blake isn't a strictly good or bad character: It sucks because he isn't even a compelling character.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Khumba is disastrously uninspired. Not even a galaxy of stars, united in their willingness to take a check, can save Khumba from being the boringest plucky outsider of all.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Blood Glacier is too sleepy to do anything with its guano-stirring premise. Yes, there are crazy-go-nutty monsters in the film, but you seldom get to see them as they sadly are not the focus of Blood Glacier.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    When the creators of The Last Exorcism Part II swapped pseudo-verité realism for psychological realism, they made it a lot harder to take their franchise seriously.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    This sequel is sluggish and rote where its predecessor was aggressively perky and desperate to please...Tai Chi Hero is more Tai Chi Business as Usual.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Ultimately, Devries seems to want to impress viewers with his anger.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Chander Pahar is an unfocused adventure-cum-travelogue.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Stage Fright's lopsided tone wouldn't be so confounding if the horror elements worked or if writer-director Jerome Sable's music, co-composed with Eli Batalion, weren't so forgettable.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    If you're wondering where the Jim Carrey of "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective" and "Dumb and Dumber" fame went, don't look to Mr. Popper's Penguins for answers.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    In spite of its enjoyable, easy-to-exploit aspects, 47 Ronin is a big budget spectacle hamstrung by its need to be at once flippant and respectful of its honor-driven source material.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    But all the charm in the world wouldn't make Ra.One's sanctimoniousness seem any more genuine.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    These kids have to contrive magical pretexts just to lay hands on each other, and boy, are their excuses rotten.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    The Conjuring is as toothless as it is because it's two different kinds of boring. The film's plot is explained exhaustively whenever loud noises aren't blaring, and random objects aren't teasingly leaping out at you from the corner of your eye.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    This is not the stuff of stirring humanist drama, but rather a bland scenario about boring people that want to mature but have no idea how.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Little more than an ugly collection of tropes stolen from "The Exorcist" and "Seven."
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    You could get mad at Seifert for being so bad at being so nakedly manipulative. Or you could just give up all hope, and counter-intuitively root for Monsanto. This is a David-vs.-Goliath movie, but David's aim is so spotty that Goliath has nothing to fear.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Pseudo-sensitive bro-dude rom-com Date and Switch comes out today, and it already feels dated.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Generally speaking, the museum seems like a modest, but vividly-detailed freak show.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Wolf Creek 2 isn't much different than "Wolf Creek," but it is markedly worse.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Simon Abrams
    When Commitment isn't a perfectly forgettable action film, it's either an oil-thin melodrama or a charbroiled treat for meatheads.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 12 Simon Abrams
    Despairingly bland.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 12 Simon Abrams
    To put in Clichénese, the only language Battle of the Year knows: the creator's hearts just weren't in this thing.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 12 Simon Abrams
    The makers of this high-concept comedy lack the courage of their gross-out convictions. Being loud, and tasteless can also be funny, but if all you've got to offer is bad racial humor, and dopey sex jokes, then you are the F@4k-You Man Eddie Murphy jokes about in "Raw," the guy who cluelessly tries to make people laugh by cursing a lot. Ghost Team One also panders to viewers, and does a lousy job of it, too.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 0 Simon Abrams
    It's monumentally terrible. "Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son" now has competition for worst picture of the year.