For 146 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 32% higher than the average critic
  • 13% same as the average critic
  • 55% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 11.9 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Simon Abrams' Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 48
Highest review score: 100 Cosmopolis
Lowest review score: 0 Zookeeper
Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 47 out of 146
  2. Negative: 55 out of 146
146 movie reviews
    • 52 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    The Good Doctor isn't a ponderous bore because Blake isn't a strictly good or bad character: It sucks because he isn't even a compelling character.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Khumba is disastrously uninspired. Not even a galaxy of stars, united in their willingness to take a check, can save Khumba from being the boringest plucky outsider of all.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Blood Glacier is too sleepy to do anything with its guano-stirring premise. Yes, there are crazy-go-nutty monsters in the film, but you seldom get to see them as they sadly are not the focus of Blood Glacier.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    If nothing else, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reminds us that nostalgia is often used as a mandate for spectacularly lazy filmmaking.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    The film makes one damning if unoriginal observation—the "reality" presented on reality TV is manufactured—and then does nothing to expand on it.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    By widening the scope of their based-on-a-true story, the makers of Revenge of the Green Dragon make their subjects look like the products of unimaginative cultural assimilation.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Point and Shoot consequently feels like a film made by a storyteller — not a journalist — who doesn't know he can ask follow-up questions.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Green, who plays a snotty version of himself, doesn't follow through on any of the ideas that make his film stand out. As a result, Digging Up the Marrow just uselessly lies there, like a cat during a heat wave.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Attacks doesn't establish the severity of a real-life tragedy, it only crassly devalues the loss of human life.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    When the creators of The Last Exorcism Part II swapped pseudo-verité realism for psychological realism, they made it a lot harder to take their franchise seriously.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Throughout the film, Mindless Behavior's four interchangeable members only project youthful enthusiasm and PR-friendly love for their fans.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    This sequel is sluggish and rote where its predecessor was aggressively perky and desperate to please...Tai Chi Hero is more Tai Chi Business as Usual.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Most jokes don't translate very well in Go Goa Gone, a Bollywood horror comedy influenced by Shaun of the Dead.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Ultimately, Devries seems to want to impress viewers with his anger.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Chander Pahar is an unfocused adventure-cum-travelogue.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Stage Fright's lopsided tone wouldn't be so confounding if the horror elements worked or if writer-director Jerome Sable's music, co-composed with Eli Batalion, weren't so forgettable.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Beyond isolated moments of dickish charm — and his climactic four-way fight involving a sword, a crucifix, and two steel pipes — Chapman just comes across like another pseudo-heroic American behaving badly abroad.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Most of the documents that Lapa quotes from are, as presented, unrevealing — even offensive.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    The film's rote right-makes-might fantasy wouldn't be so obnoxious if pandering to the lowest common denominator wasn't its default mode.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    The three lead actors are limited by their characters' kiddy-pool-shallow behavior.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Plays like a sampler of Dreamworks Animation's worst creative impulses: sugar-rush pacing, pandering meta-gags, and a slick, flavorless animation style.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Barker's tactlessness wouldn't be so bad if he weren't too high on his own patchwork rhetoric to ask his subjects what specifically motivates them.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Amateurishly realized sensationalism trumps character-driven drama throughout Killers.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    The Loft's boorish leads aren't sensible enough to be worth caring about, making the film's character-driven conclusion feel like a self-defeating cop-out.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    Project Almanac could have been fun, but its creators don't seem to know what fun looks like.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    If you're wondering where the Jim Carrey of "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective" and "Dumb and Dumber" fame went, don't look to Mr. Popper's Penguins for answers.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    But all the charm in the world wouldn't make Ra.One's sanctimoniousness seem any more genuine.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    With no slick moves and no brains backing its skuzzy narrative, Neon Flesh is just a proudly tacky film about unconscionably tawdry people.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    This is not the stuff of stirring humanist drama, but rather a bland scenario about boring people that want to mature but have no idea how.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    The Conjuring is as toothless as it is because it's two different kinds of boring. The film's plot is explained exhaustively whenever loud noises aren't blaring, and random objects aren't teasingly leaping out at you from the corner of your eye.

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