For 170 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 37% higher than the average critic
  • 11% same as the average critic
  • 52% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.6 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Simon Abrams' Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 49
Highest review score: 100 Cosmopolis
Lowest review score: 0 But Always
Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 61 out of 170
  2. Negative: 61 out of 170
170 movie reviews
    • 49 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    You could get mad at Seifert for being so bad at being so nakedly manipulative. Or you could just give up all hope, and counter-intuitively root for Monsanto. This is a David-vs.-Goliath movie, but David's aim is so spotty that Goliath has nothing to fear.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    With no slick moves and no brains backing its skuzzy narrative, Neon Flesh is just a proudly tacky film about unconscionably tawdry people.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Pseudo-sensitive bro-dude rom-com Date and Switch comes out today, and it already feels dated.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 20 Simon Abrams
    Because atrocious backstage drama 1915 is meant to address a great global tragedy -- the Turkish government–mandated extermination of 1.5 million Armenians -- the film's creators smother its putting-on-a-show narrative with ponderous diatribes about "denial," "ghosts," and "acting."
    • tbd Metascore
    • 20 Simon Abrams
    No amount of hyper-stylized, Guy Ritchie–inspired posturing can save a film whose lead antihero is so unrepentantly vile.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 20 Simon Abrams
    Writer/director John Herzfeld (15 Minutes, Two of a Kind) earnestly tries and spectacularly fails to dilute the acrid pretentiousness of Reach Me, a tone-deaf everything-is-connected melodrama, by cutting his characters' pseudo-enlightened philosophizing with goony broad humor.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 20 Simon Abrams
    Jeff Bridges's abysmally campy performance may be the worst thing about disposable sword-and-sorcery fantasy Seventh Son, but it's also the only memorable thing.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 20 Simon Abrams
    Death may not be the end in The Lazarus Effect, but it should be.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 20 Simon Abrams
    The pseudo-progressivism inherent in Himmatwala, an action-comedy remake of the 1983 Bollywood action-drama of the same name, makes toxic camp of otherwise meaningless kitsch.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Simon Abrams
    When Commitment isn't a perfectly forgettable action film, it's either an oil-thin melodrama or a charbroiled treat for meatheads.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 20 Simon Abrams
    When choosing to unleash seemingly any desperate comedian they could find willing to work for scale, the creators of White T ensured that almost nothing about White T would make sense.
    • 21 Metascore
    • 12 Simon Abrams
    The makers of this high-concept comedy lack the courage of their gross-out convictions. Being loud, and tasteless can also be funny, but if all you've got to offer is bad racial humor, and dopey sex jokes, then you are the F@4k-You Man Eddie Murphy jokes about in "Raw," the guy who cluelessly tries to make people laugh by cursing a lot. Ghost Team One also panders to viewers, and does a lousy job of it, too.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 12 Simon Abrams
    Despairingly bland.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 12 Simon Abrams
    To put in Clichénese, the only language Battle of the Year knows: the creator's hearts just weren't in this thing.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 10 Simon Abrams
    Dumb as they're written, even Holla II's characters are smart enough to want to exit this clunker as fast as they can.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 10 Simon Abrams
    Almost nothing makes sense in Brush With Danger, a bewilderingly incompetent and inexplicably racist Indonesian action film.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 0 Simon Abrams
    A trite, and slavishly inoffensive romantic drama.
    • 1 Metascore
    • 0 Simon Abrams
    A cynical, and consistently unpleasant film with creators who try very, very hard to push as many of your buttons as they can.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 0 Simon Abrams
    It's monumentally terrible. "Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son" now has competition for worst picture of the year.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 0 Simon Abrams
    The worst thing about Doctor Bello's tacky, pseudo-spiritual proceedings isn't how bad the soap opera melodramatics are (Tyler Perry would blush!), but rather how lazily sketched out its story of one man's road to self-actualization is.

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