Metascore
32

Generally unfavorable reviews - based on 25 Critics

Critic score distribution:
  1. Positive: 6 out of 25
  2. Negative: 12 out of 25
  1. 75
    The Rise Of Cobra holds to a thrill-ride sensibility that’s unchallenging and more than a little goofy, but exciting and consistently well-managed.
  2. Reviewed by: Richard Kuipers
    70
    While thesping is not the main game here, having a cast of bright young things certainly helps, and Quaid gets in a few nice John Wayne-like moments as the no-nonsense boss.
  3. Reviewed by: Dan Kois
    70
    The loudest, flashiest, silliest and longest blockbuster in a summer full of long, silly, flashy, loud blockbusters (long and silly "Transformers," flashy and loud "Wolverine").
  4. A brazen, earsplitting, eye-popping, oddly satisfying action extravaganza, though it veers wildly off-target in its second hour.
  5. Reviewed by: Ty Burr
    63
    A loud but proficient slab of explode-o-rama summer blockbuster nonsense, perfectly entertaining if you like that sort of thing, extremely skippable if you don't.
  6. Reviewed by: John DeVore
    63
    This movie’s sole purpose is to make teenage boys high-five each other, and it’s faithfulness to that concept makes the cartoon carnage almost endearing.
  7. Reviewed by: Betsy Sharkey
    60
    The action is mostly brisk and bracing and the battleground, particularly Cobra's headquarters -- a vast network of tunnels under the polar ice cap -- are wonderfully imagined, as are the futuristic machines at the Joes' disposal. Basically, the Joes are not bad, it's just that they could have been much better with a little less conversation, a little more action.
  8. G.I. Joe may not be beefier, but it’s cheesier and less aggravating than "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen," the summer ’09 headbanger it most resembles.
  9. It's hard to deny that the first two-thirds of G.I. Joe is an enjoyable film, especially when graded on the curve of lowered expectations. Compared to other big-budget movies out this summer, it's pretty mediocre.
  10. 50
    Chock full of high-tech action, with a lot of chasing and shooting and explosions.
  11. The plot feels both familiar and far-fetched.
  12. Unlike it's "Transformers" cousin, the story is appealingly straightforward, and the movie is chock-a-block with breathless action sequences.
  13. Reviewed by: Dan Jolin
    40
    Bond without the style and Team America without the bellylaughs. The moronic script and nonsensical plot are good for a snicker, though.
  14. 38
    Certainly better than "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen." How so? Admittedly, it doesn't have as much cleavage. But the high-tech hardware is more fun to look at than the transforming robots, the plot is as preposterous, and although the noise is just as loud, it's more the deep bass rumbles of explosions than the ear-piercing bang of steel robots pounding on each other.
  15. 38
    More toy commercial than movie.
  16. After nearly two hours of nonstop mayhem, the film ends on a surprisingly muted note, though pains have been taken to make sure that the hoped-for sequel has been carefully set up.
  17. 30
    After a first hour that plays like a bad TV show, Sommers hits his groove with an over-the-top Paris chase sequence that, in turn, leads to an underwater finale that’s absurdly overproduced, momentarily diverting, and then instantly forgettable.
  18. Reviewed by: Richard Corliss
    30
    The only collateral damage is in the audience, where, as you sit through the movie, you can feel your IQ drop minute by minute.
  19. Reviewed by: Cliff Doerksen
    30
    Loud, shiny, and critic-proof, this franchise launcher is basically Transformers minus the humanity. Dennis Quaid provides some ballast as grizzled patriarch to the troop of sexy young lock-and-loaders.
  20. Reviewed by: Chris Nashawaty
    25
    Don't go expecting an escapist night at the movies; go expecting to be cudgeled into numb, drooling submission.
  21. G.I. Joe was not screened for critics, but that’s not because of its mindless action and nonsensical plot. It’s because G.I. Joe is the kind of movie that bludgeons the viewer into submission with its loud and constant barrage of sound and fury.
  22. 12
    I don't know what to say about the acting, writing and directing in G.I. Joe because I couldn't find any.
  23. 12
    Formerly a real American hero, G.I. Joe is no longer a hero (it's a group) or American. (It's a multinational team of military superstars, though the way it does business, you'd feel safer with the Croatian navy on your side.)
  24. There's a way to do this kind of thing (Just witness Hasbro's other toy-turned-dumb movie franchise, "Transformers"). G.I. Joe, though, hasn't got a kung fu-grip on what it is.
  25. This pricey, juiceless pulp could never have been killed by critics, simply because it was already dead.
User Score
5.3

Mixed or average reviews- based on 329 Ratings

User score distribution:
  1. Positive: 87 out of 175
  2. Negative: 66 out of 175
  1. Nov 4, 2010
    3
    G.I Joe is just an awful awful, movie. It all comes down to one major flaw in the entire movie: the plot is retarded. And I don't mean it likeG.I Joe is just an awful awful, movie. It all comes down to one major flaw in the entire movie: the plot is retarded. And I don't mean it like every action movie needs to be Shakespeare, if I wanted that I'd see a play. No, the problem is G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is just way too sincere with being a story-focused movie, wasting alot of time building on the non-existent motivations and traits of it's characters and hammering cliché after cliché into the damn thing. Its just boring for no transparent reason. Furthermore providing a plot twist you are apparently supposed to figure out at the beginning of the movie. Movies like Shoot 'Em Up can get away with a lame plot because it is only an excuse to have non-stop action whereas G.I Joe becomes a pain to sit through . Speaking of the action, it's not even especially good at all. Admittedly I found the Paris car chase scene somewhat entertaining but it takes too long getting there and the final "epic" battle is a mess of parallel events, failing to engage and ending in a pointless 90s-style sequel hint, because that was the best part of Godzilla (1998) right?

    Ice doesn't sink in the ocean G.I Joe writers.
    Full Review »
  2. Sep 29, 2011
    3
    Foolish it is to create "G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra"; a inane movie with dull action and a 7 year-old-can-write-that story. Possibly oneFoolish it is to create "G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra"; a inane movie with dull action and a 7 year-old-can-write-that story. Possibly one of the worst, no, biggest Razzie flicks of the year. Full Review »
  3. Supernintendoh
    Aug 29, 2009
    10
    A 10, just because. People that give movies Zero' and for th Stupidest Reason. Horrible Acting, Worst Movie ever. Like if any of you can A 10, just because. People that give movies Zero' and for th Stupidest Reason. Horrible Acting, Worst Movie ever. Like if any of you can act any better. LOL, Oh and those who talk about being the worst movie ever. You guys and gals are idiots. I bet you say that to every movie. Sure why not. I find Movies entertaining and Fun. I like to watch moveis not to see every picture prefect and in-perfect movie. I have seen bad and this does not come close to bad {BLOOD RAYNE ANYONE) Maybe i should call Uwe a 10 for every movie he makes. LOL. GI JOE, your OK. Full Review »