Mixed or average reviews - based on 33 Critics What's this?

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Generally favorable reviews- based on 136 Ratings

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Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 6 out of 33
  2. Negative: 8 out of 33
  1. Reviewed by: Gabe Toro
    Oct 9, 2013
    Like its predecessor, Machete Kills is never less than busy with ridiculousness.
  2. Reviewed by: Amy Nicholson
    Oct 8, 2013
    Kills tops the 2010 original by not giving a mierda about logic or character.
  3. Reviewed by: Scott Bowles
    Oct 10, 2013
    Machete Kills dulls more than anything. It's not that Robert Rodriguez's sequel lacks any of the camp or exploitative violence of the 2010 original. The mayhem has just become boring.
  4. Reviewed by: Geoff Berkshire
    Oct 3, 2013
    As violent as its predecessor yet noticeably duller and less outrageous, Machete Kills is dragged to the finish line entirely by its director’s madcap energy and an absurd cast of major stars in strange cameos.
  5. Reviewed by: Mike McCahill
    Oct 11, 2013
    The odd vivid shot reminds you of Rodriguez's dynamic visual imagination, but also what it's wasted on here: a project as indifferent as some of the trash that inspired it.
  6. Reviewed by: Marc Savlov
    Oct 9, 2013
    It works extremely well as a drunken, date-night midnighter or film-fest entry, all madcap bloodletting and surrealist non sequiturs.
  7. 20
    The carnage (with its computer-­generated splatter) is meant to be campy fun, but it’s so offhand that there’s less suspense than in an Austin Powers movie.

See all 33 Critic Reviews

Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 16 out of 35
  2. Negative: 11 out of 35
  1. Oct 11, 2013
    Guns don’t kill. Machete Kills! Actually, the opening scene of this bizarre sequel to the even bizarre-er 2010 original Machete shows that guns do kill. They just don’t kill Machete (Danny Trejo), whom you’ll recall from the first film survived a shot to the head when the bullet was blocked by another bullet, already lodged in his skull. Machete Kills continues director/co-writer Robert Rodriguez’s penchant for outrageous plot developments performed by “what-the?” casting choices. Mel Gibson plays a villain straight out of a Bond film Moonraker, to be precise. Charlie Sheen (listed in the credits by his birth name, Carlos Estevez) follows in his father’s footsteps as the U.S. President. And Lady Gaga is introduced as “whoever she wants to be.” Name your box-office poison. If Fatty Arbuckle were still around, he’d have a cameo for sure. Yet somehow, the results work. That’s probably because Rodriguez takes nothing seriously. The plot which could fit on the back of a cereal box, but only the really sugary kind involves a Mexican madman (Oscar nominee Demian Bichir) who wants the U.S. to clean up the corruption in his country, or he’ll fire a nuclear warhead at Washington. (Apparently he’s been reading Madman Tactics for Dummies.) President Sheen, or Estevez, or whatever, calls on Machete to help. “You know Mexico,” he tells the taciturn strongman. “Hell, you are Mexico.” Helping him will be a government agent played by Amber Heard. Her cover identity is beauty pageant winner Miss San Antonio, but has the operative gone too deep into character? In one scene she texts Machete: CU There! More about the story I cannot reveal. It’s not that I’m against spoilers; I just wasn’t sure what was going on most of the time, although whatever it is, it’s as funny as a roadrunner cartoon and only about 2.5 times as violent. Machete faces off against La Camaleón, a shape-shifting assassin played by a bewildering array of actors (Cuba Gaga Banderas Jr., etc). He crosses paths with Desdemona (Sofia Vergara), whose 32F brassieres pack a 38-calibre punch. (You’ll never guess where she keeps her backup firepower.) He hooks up with former partner Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), who sports a sexy eye patch and has a feminist revolutionary poster on her wall that reads Shé. And he makes use of a road-tunnel under the U.S.-Mexican border, stolen directly from 2009’s Fast & Furious. The movie runs for 107 minutes but features a ticking-clock timeline that allows it to pack more into 24 hours than, well, 24. And it opens with a fake trailer for Machete Kills Again In Space! At least, I think it’s a fake trailer. You may recall that the first Machete sprang from just such a bogus teaser, attached to 2007’s Grindhouse. So while Machete likes to say “Machete don’t” lines Machete don’t smoke, tweet, joke, etc. the one thing Machete seems destined to do is return. Expand
  2. Oct 17, 2013
    This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. It is a good film it made me laght i can't wait untill another one comes out it will be awsome all the actors they have in the film are well known all over the world and each and every one, It's so freaking ridiculous, even more so than the original in all the right ways. The action is great, bloody and creative. The plot is so bonkers and unpredictable you'll always be wondering what will happen next, the casting is excellent and many of the many many maaaaaany characters are likeable an Expand
  3. Nov 4, 2013
    This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. THE most badass movie of 2013! I loved every minute of it! Basic plot is that Machete is now going after a nutjob who wants to nuke the world. Standard Grindhouse plot but oh does it set up for what could be THE BEST SEQUEL EVER! PROS: +Danny Trejo is once again AWESOME as Machete and this time is giving some more lines to say (EX: Machete Don't Tweet---No One Knows Machete) +Charlie Sheen (Credited as Carlos Estvez, his real name) plays a REALLY good President of USA +Lady Gaga can ACTUALLY act! AND she is dressed normal! No meat dress, no bubble dress, just a standard dress +Marko Zarzor as the body guard...oh my god can this guy fight and kick! +The two helicopter kills +Madame Desdemona (played by Sofía Vergara) is on crazy SOB! Her weapons include a TEC-9, her "Double D's" (which have to be seen to believe!), and the Robert Rodriguez famous "Crotch Rocket Pistol". +Alexa Vega returns and BOY did she change! +Two of THE most badass machetes out there: A Three bladed one and one I won't DARE spoil! +Mel Gibson +A Cameo by a certain "Star Trek" AND "Star Wars" item +A couple cool twists (One you see coming and a few you don't) +The Molecular Disrupter Pistol. Probably the GORIEST weapon I've seen in any movie! +The Border Patrol Returns in one of the funniest scenes in the film! CONS: -Antonio Banderas is only in the film for a few minutes or so - La Camaleón, while a interesting concept, is sorta lame at points -The Flamethrower aftermath (I thought the burns on the face would've been more server) -Madame Desmonda and her girls disappear after a car chase -Tom Savini's cameo -More of a nitpick, but what the heck was up with the idiot shooting an Ak-47 one handed and sideways at the beginning of the film?! -The scene with the president and Machete sorta copies the first films scene between Michael Booth and Machete FINAL SCORE: 9 out of 10 Expand
  4. Dec 7, 2013
    Let me start off by saying love love love the first Machete. I can watch it anytime... This one, not so much. Robert Rodriquez swung for the fences with this one and it missed. Some people will never ever say anything bad about the guy and some will genuinely like it, but to be honest.. it just didn't have that X factor the first Machete did. This time around Machete is more like a super hero. He is sent on a mission to Mexico by the President (excellent choice of casting Charlie Sheen, using his birth name of Carlos Esteves). But other than that, (and of course Danny Trejo and Michelle Rodriquez), the rest of the cast just didn't fit. The schizo Mexican revolutionary didn't fit, Cuba was completely out of place, wasn't really feeling Lady Gaga or Amber Heard (even though she is gorgeous) and the gorgeous Sophia Vegara was just a little too manic. But it really wasn't that.. the film just was kind of flat, even the action scenes weren't clicking. Maybe because they gave away too much in the previews. Maybe its because they made Machete inhuman.. All I know is that when I was in the theater, 3 people around me fell asleep and 4 people walked out a hour after the film started... AND it wasn't that many people in the theater. Gosh I wanted it to be so much better.. This is a rental, at best Expand
  5. Oct 13, 2013
    For a movie like this, it's all just based off of this joke. If you're into the joke, then you'll absolutely love this movie. But if you're not, then you'll completely hate "Machete Kills". Overall, while it's suppose to pull off this cheesy old look, it's still not that good of a movie. Be sure to check out my YouTube channel "TheMovieManLife" for all things movies. Expand
  6. Sep 2, 2014
    I'm unimpressed with a crazed killer flying around the world aimlessly. Sure, Danny Trejo embodies an exciting Machete--but there's no point to it. It's campy where a film shouldn't be. Even Lady Gaga's cameo is useless. Expand
  7. Jan 13, 2014
    Honestly, I liked the first film enough to give this one a shot and I hated it. It just was not good at all. I can deal with the poor acting, generic plots, and terrible special effects but honestly, I expected something at least watchable/entertaining and this was neither. Expand

See all 35 User Reviews