Jun 5, 201238It aspires to Stanley Kubrick's "2001", but in its maddeningly unresolved plot threads and cornball cosmic mysticism, it lands closer to "Mission to Mars" -though Prometheus lacks any action set piece as gripping as the Brian De Palma film's sentient sandstorm.
0Prometheus is the story of a trillion-dollar mission to discover the origins of human life on a distant planet. Basically, this is supposed to be the greatest exploration undertaken in the history of mankind.
So who do they send? A gaggle of fractious goons whose collective scientific nous is rivalled only by that of the Three Stooges. Within minutes of touching down (conveniently beside the only 'man-made' structures on the planet, a'la 1960s Star Trek) the 'scientists' are yanking off their helmets, on the basis of 'it seems fine to me', dipping their fingers into strange organic ooze, and lugging a severed alien head back to an unquarantined spaceship in a sandwich bag.
Once there, they speedily discover the meaning of life. Then, while one of them gets a bit drunk, his two female companions decide it would be useful to stimulate the head electrically to reanimate it. They don't say why. They give it a bit too much juice, then too little,then dither over too much or too little like a couple of schoolgirls fiddling with a dicky bunsen burner, while the most important scientific discovery in human history waggles its ears and rolls its eyes â… Full Review »
Roger Ebert has lost it long ago. My favorite movie of all time is Aliens and I want to say that I saw it at a midnight showing with a great crowd that was very quiet (You go Alamo Drafthouse!). Yes, this movie is very pretty with outstanding cinematography. But it's all about story and this one is just terrible. The story is disjointed, leaves too many unanswered questions in an attempt to be cerebral, and finally, is just downright boring. The atmosphere was not tense at all, their were no frights just unbelievable scenes. I don't want to give away any spoilers but just think about this review when you see Noomi's need for medical attention. It's one of the worst scenes I can think of in my last 20 years of watching movies.… Full Review »
0This review contains spoilers, click full review link to view. Prometheus has a good premise, good ideas, good intentions, but it executes all of them wrong. In fact there are so many inconsistencies you could write an entire review just listing them, don't believe me? Well there you go:
-the scientists go from paintings on walls to "it's an invitation from our makers to go meet them on a remote planet", just like that, HUGE stretch there don't you think huh
-the old man that organized the whole expedition pretends to be dead, for no reason, only to show up at the end with no one giving a crap that he's actually alive; what was the point of pretending to be dead to begin with then???
-they hire completely incompetent and crazy people to conduct an expedition that cost billions and billions; those guys lost themselves in a cave when they have a 3D MAPS OF THE ENTIRE CAVE with gps, good god
-the android poisons a crew member for no reason whatsoever, the main character even finds out about it and still doesn't give a crap when it was her fiance he poisoned
-when the main character is impregnated with an alien they tell her they have no other option but to put her in hibernation when they have the best surgical machine available, which she then uses herself to get the thing out with no problem at all
-talking about the surgical machine, why was it programmed for a "male patient" when it was owned by Charlize Theron, does that mean that her character was a actually a man?
-why was the bald dude in hibernation for god knows how long when it was clearly stated he wanted to destroy mankind, or something, why was he just sleeping there if he had such an important mission to accomplish?
-why did he just attack the characters like a rabid bull if he's supposed to be so smart and superior to us, couldn't he outsmart the crew and try to manipulate them instead of just going Rambo on them and failing miserably?
-why the hell did such a terrible script get approved?… Full Review »