SummaryThe adventure continues with a new generation of talking toddlers. This time, the baby geniuses find themselves at the center of a nefarious scheme led by powerful media mogul Bill Biscane (Voight) to use his state-of-the-art satellite system to control the minds of the world's population. (Sony)
SummaryThe adventure continues with a new generation of talking toddlers. This time, the baby geniuses find themselves at the center of a nefarious scheme led by powerful media mogul Bill Biscane (Voight) to use his state-of-the-art satellite system to control the minds of the world's population. (Sony)
Unbelievably thought provoking. My philosophical film committee all agreed that this will become a fast classic. No other film comments so deeply on the existential nature of human childhood; indeed, everything from the poorly-designed puppets to the out-of-sync lip movements proclaims "your life is special: live it to the fullest." If you sat me down with this movie, I would watch it for 5 days - straight. Beautiful directing skills. Definitely not done in a weekend on Aunt Sally's back porch. Would rate 11 if possible. Please make another sequel. I will pay $53M to fund if possible.
This is the single best game of all time. If Gaben, Dale, Jesus, Calvin of Calvin and Hobbs, and Nicolas Cage collaborated on a game it was pale to the sheer mastery that is Battletoads. I am going through Battletoad withdraw even now, 43 words into this review. Imagine the best feeling in the world. That is slave labor in a North Korean (best Korea) lumber camp, forced to work long hours at the threat of your young child's life relative to the level of euphoria realized by even the settings menu of this piece of art. I didn't think it was possible to capture the magnificence of the original Battletoads and condense it to my phone, but it happened. The graphics are just as stunning as the original NES game, the controls just as tight. The characters are endearing and the humor adds to the fantastic story. The gameplay is fast-paced yet wearisome it was not; I had to resort to less than "traditional" methods in order for my feeble mind to respond to the stimulus Battletoads has to offer; my neighbor "Dope" Dan and I became quite close acquaintances, or would have if it weren't for the draw of the game. This game is without fault, bar none, save for the fact that it is not endless, however the replay value and incredible story depth, as well as subtle references drew me in for playthrough after playthrough. I could easily log hundreds of hours if it weren't for my pesky human body not being able to handle the incredible volume of dopamine coursing through my mortal veins and its inability to function great lengths of time without nourishment and intestinal relief, although the latter difficulty is easily solved by a trip to Walgreen's for a 24 pack of adult diapers, unfortunately I depleted their stock before long. All in all, this game is better than going out for mint chocolate chip ice cream with Jesus, the guy from the Dos Equis commercials, and Olivia Wilde while riding a Charizard. In fact, comparing Battletoads to such a scenario is ridiculous, as is any comparison, because this level of quality is in a class of its own. All else is trash's trash, regurgitated by Satan and ****. Anyone who has ever enjoyed anything absolutely must pick up Battletoads. Just be sure you have enough adult diapers. Collapse
The first Baby Geniuses, released in 1999, was one of the most inane, humorless, ill-conceived, poorly acted comedies of the year. As difficult as it is to imagine, the sequel is even worse, earning an F.
If you think fart jokes are funny, you should get a medical doctor and tell him to fix your brain and mind apart from whatever made you laugh during this movie.
If you didn't think the first Baby Geniuses film was bad enough, it's equally mind-numbingly terrible sequel will be more than enough to convince you that this franchise is a mistake. It might be slightly better than the first Baby Geniuses movie, but I still wouldn't recommend that any kid ever watch this. It's perverse, profane, and vile. I can't believe they got Jon Voight to be in this filth.
let me put this nicely: this movie is the worst crap to ever be on this planet. After watching this my kid had nightmares for weeks and refused to sit next to a baby. Babies assaulting adults is wrong. This entire thing made me want to wash out my eyes with bleach.