Overwhelming dislike - based on 17 Critics

Critic score distribution:
  1. Positive: 0 out of 17
  2. Negative: 13 out of 17
  1. The main performers do a reasonably good job of parodying the "Twilight" leads, with Proske particularly effective in subtly lampooning Kristen Stewart's moody mannerisms.
  2. That Vampires Suck is a step above god-awful is something of a miracle.
  3. Reviewed by: Natalie Southwick
    Non-"Twilight'' fans would be better off surfing YouTube.
  4. 25
    If Kristen Stewart ever saw Vampires Suck, she'd be scarred for life.
  5. Reviewed by: Jen Chaney
    Vampires suck? That's a matter of opinion. But here's what inarguably, unequivocally does suck: Vampires Suck.
  6. "Vampires" doesn't suck, exactly, but the laziness and lack of imagination kinda bites.
  7. Reviewed by: Randy Cordova
    Two very important things to note about Vampires Suck: The film is a spoof of the "Twilight" movies, and the title is a good indication of where the level of wit lies.
  8. Reviewed by: Phil Contrino
    As if a string of bad jokes wasn't enough, Vampires Suck is full of distractingly forced pop culture references and shameless product placements (the actors practically mug for the camera while holding various products).
  9. Reviewed by: James White
    A Twilight pastiche with all the wit you'd expect from the makers of "Scary Movie" and "Meet The Spartans."
  10. It's a sloppy, tossed-off collection of parodic gags of vampire flicks and gratuitous pop-cultural references (oh, there will be pointless Lady Gaga gags!) that are below bottom-of-the-barrel.
  11. 0
    You want vampiric satire with actual laughs? Try Mel Brooks' "Dracula: Dead and Loving It," "Love at First Bite," or even Roman Polanski's "The Fearless Vampire Killers." Anything is better than Friedberg and Seltzer's endless, bargain-basement, sub-Cracked magazine un-comedy.
  12. The exception is newcomer Jenn Proske, who spoofs Twilight star Kristen Stewart's flustered, hair-tugging angst with hilarious precision.
  13. 42
    After a lucrative career of bashing well-made scary, epic, disaster and date movies, Friedberg and Seltzer have a source begging to be mocked.
  14. This pointless parody dumps us in the fictional town of Sporks, Wash., a location lousy with vampires and werewolves.
  15. Reviewed by: Joe Leydon
    The lame mediocrity of Vampires Suck undeniably reps an advance for writer-directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. By just about any other standard, however, this instantly forgettable trifle is fairly close to worthless.
  16. 10
    Smart money says Friedberg and Seltzer never sit through these movies in entirety.
  17. 25
    The boys similarly deserve very minor props for choosing a satirical target that lends itself to satire: the glum, self-important Twilight novels and movies. Sadly, that's where the filmmakers' mild accomplishments end and the groaningly predictable hackwork begins.
User Score

Generally unfavorable reviews- based on 111 Ratings

User score distribution:
  1. Positive: 20 out of 58
  2. Mixed: 0 out of 58
  3. Negative: 38 out of 58
  1. Sep 29, 2011
    My god...
  2. Aug 19, 2010
    The latest parody from Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, Vampires Suck, takes aim at an obvious target that anyone could get some laughs out of. As a result, it manages to be better than the previous efforts by the movie-making team to date. However, that certainly doesn't mean that it is good by any stretch. Friedberg and Seltzer still fail to understand how to make the comedy work and instead populate their spoof with dated pop culture references, cheap toilet humor, obvious jokes and a few examples of horribly bad miscasting. There are many potential jokes to be had with source material like this to riff on but the script instead harps on the same things again and again which results in an irritatingly one-note spoof that fails far off the mark. This may not be Meet the Spartans level of bad, but as you might have guessed it's certainly not worth your time. Full Review »
  3. Aug 28, 2010
    Yes, it's a stupid movie. Yes, it's a bad movie. But's its still so funny!! What're you people expecting? It's a spoof movie!! It's supossed to be stupid!! Plus, it makes fun of Twilight, which for me is an automatic 7. Overall, it's dumb, stupid, and retarded. But it's also hilarious!! Full Review »