User Score
2.9

Generally unfavorable reviews- based on 142 Ratings

User score distribution:
  1. Positive: 37 out of 142
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  1. Jan 17, 2011
    0
    A Twilight spoof is a good idea, but if the names Seltzer and Friedberg appear in the credits you know it isn't going to have anything redeemable. Not even the actors from the Disney Channel including David Deluise (son of the late Dom Deluise) can save this piece of garbage.
  2. Oct 17, 2010
    0
    Yet another Cinematic excretion from the pair that brought us other such NON classics as "Meet the Spartans" and "Disaster Movie." And in a year or so they intend to bring out "Anime Movie" A tremendous waste of time and money, you just have to wonder, why do 20th century fox continue to pay these people?
  3. Oct 7, 2010
    0
    WORSE PARODY MOVEI I'VE EVER SEEN. Waste of my time and money. The parts that were suppose to b e funny weren't even close to being funny. Just an all around bad movie.
  4. Nov 30, 2010
    2
    This movie is horrible. I going give this movie some points because it did have me dieing laughing on about three screen. But I almost didnt finish watching this movie because it got real bored.
  5. Dec 15, 2010
    1
    This review contains spoilers. When discussing movies with friends, we tend to be on polar opposites of things. They prefer fluff and stuff that big studios throw out of their faces with little thought, that's briefly entertaining and normally only high quality 10% of the time. So, when deciding what movies to go see with them tends to be an argument. How they talked me into watching Vampires Suck is beyond me.
    I've Seen Epic Movie, and that was bad. I then reluctantly saw Disaster Movie. As every other critic said, that was exactly what the title said. So, seeing another Friedberg-Seltzer movie was not foreseen in my future. While normally when I'd see movies with friends, even If I knew they'd be awful, I'd stick it out for them. I tried to do so here, but it was near impossible. I couldn't think of many things good at all about the hurricane ravaged town of a movie I sat through.
    Nearly all the gags fell flat for me, whether it be the same old "Reference something famous to get a laugh" shtick or new attempts by the duo at simple gags (Like an unfunny cactus gag). I laughed about once during the movie, and that's when the guy in the wheelchair got beaten up (Ironic, as I was the only one laughing and I was the one in the wheelchair).
    Even what could have been nice saving graces, Ken Jeong of the Opus called Community and Diedrich Bader (An abused, guilty pleasure favorite comic of mine) did nothing important to save the film. The only thing that saved this steaming pile of awful was progress for the two directors. After being literally mentally assaulted by the stupidity of Disaster Movie trying to be funny, Vampires seemed to be less lazy, as they genuinely seemed to try to entertain the audience.
    But then again, maybe I'm not the one this movie is aimed for. My friends enjoyed it, taking it as stupid humor (I prefer my stupid humor smarter, which is a little bit of an oxymoron, from movies like the underrated Hot Rod)...and if you enjoy blatant pop culture references and lame gags...you may have found your movie.
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  6. Dec 11, 2010
    1
    This may have been one of the worst films I have ever seen. This so-called spoof/parody from the small minds behind such terrible "movies"; Date Movie; Epic Movie; Meet the Spartans; Friedberg and Seltzer should not be allowed pens or cameras. I feel sorry for spoofs like Airplane, Spaceballs and Naked Gun plus many, many more films that while been silly; and they are very silly; haveThis may have been one of the worst films I have ever seen. This so-called spoof/parody from the small minds behind such terrible "movies"; Date Movie; Epic Movie; Meet the Spartans; Friedberg and Seltzer should not be allowed pens or cameras. I feel sorry for spoofs like Airplane, Spaceballs and Naked Gun plus many, many more films that while been silly; and they are very silly; have great actors, great scripts that make sence to the audience and are most importantly funny. That is the biggest flaw of Vampires Suck it's stupid and not funny. It's the strange kid at the back of the classroom eating the gum from the bottom of the desk. Expand
  7. Mar 6, 2011
    2
    Even worst than Twilight. Most people who hate this movie hates spoofs but I like spoofs but this was really bad. Twilight was even a little better than this. The jokes are unfunny and really corny. I smiled maybe twice but that smile became a frown with all the corny jokes and unfunny moments which is supposed to be funny.
  8. Jan 31, 2011
    2
    maybe it's just me, but this spoof is so lazy, unfunny and creative in no sense at all and fake, that it's like watching a school play- only with vampires and zombies.
  9. Aug 19, 2010
    3
    The latest parody from Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, Vampires Suck, takes aim at an obvious target that anyone could get some laughs out of. As a result, it manages to be better than the previous efforts by the movie-making team to date. However, that certainly doesn't mean that it is good by any stretch. Friedberg and Seltzer still fail to understand how to make the comedy work andThe latest parody from Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, Vampires Suck, takes aim at an obvious target that anyone could get some laughs out of. As a result, it manages to be better than the previous efforts by the movie-making team to date. However, that certainly doesn't mean that it is good by any stretch. Friedberg and Seltzer still fail to understand how to make the comedy work and instead populate their spoof with dated pop culture references, cheap toilet humor, obvious jokes and a few examples of horribly bad miscasting. There are many potential jokes to be had with source material like this to riff on but the script instead harps on the same things again and again which results in an irritatingly one-note spoof that fails far off the mark. This may not be Meet the Spartans level of bad, but as you might have guessed it's certainly not worth your time. Expand
  10. Dec 6, 2010
    1
    I really don't have much to say at this point. The only reason I'm reviewing this movie is simply because I vowed to review every movie I watch (present - future) giving an unbiased critique. There are no laughs to be found in the course of this flick. Please don't watch it.
  11. Sep 26, 2010
    3
    This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. I never was a fan of Friedberg and Seltzer,they have made some of the most horrible movies of all time.Their latest movie Vampire Sucks has Twillight as source material and frankly it misses on almost all occassions considering all the material they had to come up with decent jokes.So this movie fails miserably but there are some laughs to be had. Expand
  12. Dec 2, 2010
    2
    Contrary to the popular opinion, it is difficult to parody the "Twilight" movies because the original saga itself is hilariously and unintentionally funny and for adult audience it plays almost like a vampire "Spinal Tap". That being said, this spoof is utterly horrible, the only exception being Jenn Proske's masterful imitation of Kristen Stewart's angsty obnoxiousness.
  13. Jan 14, 2011
    0
    Vampires don't suck. This movie sucks. Saw it, hated it, Ate it, and then violently puked it out. I am a fan of twilight, but, I WAS expecting this to be a hilarious, wonderful movie that made me laugh until I cried. NEWFLASH; Worst movie I ever saw in history of movies. I have bad taste in acting, and even THAT doesn't make me wanna laugh. The only things that were funny were shown in theVampires don't suck. This movie sucks. Saw it, hated it, Ate it, and then violently puked it out. I am a fan of twilight, but, I WAS expecting this to be a hilarious, wonderful movie that made me laugh until I cried. NEWFLASH; Worst movie I ever saw in history of movies. I have bad taste in acting, and even THAT doesn't make me wanna laugh. The only things that were funny were shown in the trailer. I wasted like; a Few bucks for THIS dumb movie? Do the world a favor, and throw it out your window. Expand
  14. Oct 9, 2010
    1
    This is the result of some bad directing, bad actors, bad lines, bad story, bad jokes, bad graphics, all combined together. Trying to make a parody for a movie that is stupid in the first place is a bad idea, especially if you have a low budget and no sense of humor, at all.
  15. Oct 18, 2010
    3
    The partnership of Friedberg and Seltzer has, so far, given us nothing but humourless, idiotic jokes that even a child could think of. This movie is better than any of their past movies in the same sense that being stabbed is better than being shot. Vampires Suck took a movie that practically everyone would love to see a parody of and killed the idea. In fact, the best joke within thisThe partnership of Friedberg and Seltzer has, so far, given us nothing but humourless, idiotic jokes that even a child could think of. This movie is better than any of their past movies in the same sense that being stabbed is better than being shot. Vampires Suck took a movie that practically everyone would love to see a parody of and killed the idea. In fact, the best joke within this movie is name of the Edward Cullen parody, Ed Sullen. it may sound sad but that really is as good as it gets. Expand
  16. Nov 4, 2010
    1
    that was totally stupid! you used one part from Alice in Wonderland where Alice gets killed and fells down a rabbit hole. that didn't happened in the Tim Burton version, you dumba**es!
  17. Aug 19, 2010
    3
    Tentu saja. Dengan keberhasilan tiga film pertama dari franchise The Twilight Saga dalam meraup keuntungan hampir sebesar US$400 juta dari peredaran domestiknya di wilayah Amerika Utara, ditambah dengan banyaknya jumlah penggemar fanatik yang berbanding lurus dengan jumlah kritikus film dunia yang membencinya, perilisan sebuah film yang memparodikan franchise tersebut sepertinya adalahTentu saja. Dengan keberhasilan tiga film pertama dari franchise The Twilight Saga dalam meraup keuntungan hampir sebesar US$400 juta dari peredaran domestiknya di wilayah Amerika Utara, ditambah dengan banyaknya jumlah penggemar fanatik yang berbanding lurus dengan jumlah kritikus film dunia yang membencinya, perilisan sebuah film yang memparodikan franchise tersebut sepertinya adalah hal yang sangat wajar. Dan berbicara soal parodi, tentu saja tidak ada orang lain di Hollywood yang se-â Expand
  18. Aug 20, 2010
    0
    What was Bella thinking on the night she almost became a woman? "Vampires Suck" goes behind Kristen Stewart's inscrutable stare, as the film copies(a real film pays homage) the scene in which Bella and Edward share the night together, when Bella's counterpart Becca(Jenn Proske) verbally expresses what Stewart can only intimate with her soulful eyes, what Bella the Vampire F****r reallyWhat was Bella thinking on the night she almost became a woman? "Vampires Suck" goes behind Kristen Stewart's inscrutable stare, as the film copies(a real film pays homage) the scene in which Bella and Edward share the night together, when Bella's counterpart Becca(Jenn Proske) verbally expresses what Stewart can only intimate with her soulful eyes, what Bella the Vampire F****r really wanted to do to the fairest Cullen of them all. In "Eclipse", the bedsprings go untested, as Bella listens to Edward prattle on about chaperoned strolls and iced tea on the porch, in which the vampire's antiquated notions regarding courtship, for my money, is far funnier than any of the comic bits that spoofs the insanely successful "Twilight" films; the "Star Wars" for girls. When Mel Brooks satirized the legendary space opera trilogy back in 1987, some people wondered if "Spaceballs" arrived too late. Relevance is obviously not an issue here. With "Vampires Suck", it's a matter of being too soon, since episodes four and five, so to speak, are both in their various states of gestation. Why couldn't the industry allow Stephanie Meyer's legions of fans the luxury of loving Bella and her fetish for interspecies guys a little while longer without having to desmysitfy the romance for them? Why make them feel stupid? Team Edward and Team Jacob, in the midst of breaking the fourth wall, fighting among themselves at the film's outset to reflect the pandemonium surrounding the fantastical men in Bella's charmed life, should break the wall further by converging on the filmmaker for making such a witless and insulting film. A glittering, pasty-faced vampire and an Indian afflicted with a serious case of werewolf gigantism are no laughing matters for the true believers. And even if you were against the team expansion of 2007(the release year for "Twilight"), when Edward and Jacob joined the filmic league of monsters, these lame ringers are no match as objects of ridicule when compared to the sight of Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. Expand
  19. Aug 31, 2010
    0
    Vampires Suck isn't funny, they use the same style of acting and jokes they used in their previous movies, and it just isnt't funny anymore. Do yourself a favour and don't watch this. Vampires don't suck, this movie does.
  20. Aug 28, 2010
    1
    Parodies Movies, that parody themselves. Basically a cheap shot, which ends up worse then the already bad Twilight series. There's no excuse for it. I still feel hurt almost a week after watching the thing. Who keeps giving these people jobs, especially after "Epic Movie"
  21. Aug 23, 2010
    0
    Well of course this movie sucks. It has the word "suck" in the title. I rightfully knew what i was going in to watch. The only that i did not think expect is that the jokes and gags would be so annoying, so frustrating that they would make me walk out 30 minutes out of this pile of crap. Enough Said. To watch my review of this film and Piranha 3D, copy this link:Well of course this movie sucks. It has the word "suck" in the title. I rightfully knew what i was going in to watch. The only that i did not think expect is that the jokes and gags would be so annoying, so frustrating that they would make me walk out 30 minutes out of this pile of crap. Enough Said. To watch my review of this film and Piranha 3D, copy this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtNtKSmMfXE ENJOY!!!! Expand
  22. Aug 21, 2010
    0
    Vampire Suck suck, it was the worst film I have ever seen this year. I had some moments that were little funny, but the majority of this film was awful. The directors were the same guys that brought you "Meet the Spartans" and "Epic Movie" , so you would probably know that it would be bad.
  23. Jun 5, 2013
    1
    The only good thing about this movie was Jenn Proske's imitation of Kristin Stewart. Other than that, it's just lame jokes. I guess I can say some jokes have a good basis but that's it (ex: Jacob turns into a Chihuahua). But I don't recommend anyone watching this.
  24. Aug 25, 2010
    1
    Vampire sucks, sucks. Just like how disaster movies was a disaster. It's jokes are just awful and all it dose was make pop culture references after an other, like why is the cast of jersey shore there, I don't know cause its popular. Sure there will come a joke where you'll smirk but there are few of them. The saddest part about this is that the movie is going to make more than ScottVampire sucks, sucks. Just like how disaster movies was a disaster. It's jokes are just awful and all it dose was make pop culture references after an other, like why is the cast of jersey shore there, I don't know cause its popular. Sure there will come a joke where you'll smirk but there are few of them. The saddest part about this is that the movie is going to make more than Scott Pilgrim vs. the world. Expand
  25. Aug 29, 2010
    0
    Given the right circumstance, with the right people, and the right atmosphere, you might--and I emphasize "might"--just be able to find a moment of humor in this movie. Then again, I could say the same about watching surveilance tapes of grocery trucks unloading. I actually had trouble thinking of a comparison, because there is nothing worse than watching a bad comedy, and Vampires SuckGiven the right circumstance, with the right people, and the right atmosphere, you might--and I emphasize "might"--just be able to find a moment of humor in this movie. Then again, I could say the same about watching surveilance tapes of grocery trucks unloading. I actually had trouble thinking of a comparison, because there is nothing worse than watching a bad comedy, and Vampires Suck is as bad as it gets. Expand
  26. Aug 29, 2010
    0
    Spoof movies are bad. Vampires suck is really bad. Laughingly stupid from beginning to an end those who saw it wish came much , much sooner. I just wish they would stop wasting money and time with this lame entertainment.
  27. Aug 31, 2010
    3
    This has to be the worst movie i have seen this year.Most scenes did not make any sense. This movie got worse by the min. It did have some funny parts in it, but overall it sucked. The best advice i can give is to wait for it to come on regular television.
  28. Sep 9, 2010
    1
    There is absolutely no reason to go watch this movie. Even the slightly funny jokes are immediately killed by either explaining them or dragging them out endlessly. If you are the target audience (people who hate Twilight), get a couple of buddies over, have a couple of beers and watch the actual Twilight movie. The jokes you guys produce are guaranteed to be funnier than anything you'llThere is absolutely no reason to go watch this movie. Even the slightly funny jokes are immediately killed by either explaining them or dragging them out endlessly. If you are the target audience (people who hate Twilight), get a couple of buddies over, have a couple of beers and watch the actual Twilight movie. The jokes you guys produce are guaranteed to be funnier than anything you'll find in this movie. Expand
  29. May 5, 2011
    2
    If Hollywood has fallen this low with parody films, then either get me off this planet or show me an older, superior parody film, like Spaceballs or Naked Gun.
  30. Jul 3, 2012
    0
    There are a lot of jokes to be made about the twilight series. However, I think now its best to laugh unintentionally at the cheesy lines than the jokes made from this movie. I mean seriously, this Friedberg-Seltzer film (this film really suck) 'expects' us to laugh. The jokes don't come off as funny and the actors aren't necessarily helping even though they're only imitating theThere are a lot of jokes to be made about the twilight series. However, I think now its best to laugh unintentionally at the cheesy lines than the jokes made from this movie. I mean seriously, this Friedberg-Seltzer film (this film really suck) 'expects' us to laugh. The jokes don't come off as funny and the actors aren't necessarily helping even though they're only imitating the characters from twilight. It almost feels as if every joke had a guy whacking the drum. .3/5
    *Jenn Proske is the only reason why anyone of you should go. She imitates Bella so perfectly. If you replaced Kristen Stewart with her, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
    Expand
  31. Jun 18, 2011
    1
    It is just as bad as you would expect. I am beginning to think that these filmmakers are just trolls, aimed at ruining American cinema. The film is not funny, horribly acted, and just plain bad. Stay away.
  32. Oct 9, 2011
    0
    Look up any negative adjective or offensive word that you might be able to find at the dictionary. None of them comes close to the torture that I have to bear while watching this.
  33. Jan 7, 2012
    0
    Perhaps the worst movie I've ever seen in my entire life. Worse than Twilight, worse the New Moon, and definitely worse than Eclipse. How on Earth that movie ever made it to the big screen, I'll never know.
  34. Nov 7, 2014
    1
    We all know these spoofs are terrible but Vampires Suck is one lazy piece of garbage. The movie is so bad, the idiots behind this movie didn't know what to do so they stretched out already ridiculous scenes to make them even more ridiculous. A truly embarrassing film.
  35. Nov 15, 2014
    2
    Another parody movie translates into another piece of crap. What exactly is the point of these movies? It was predictably not funny, unoriginal, and stupid. Just embarrassing.
  36. Feb 20, 2014
    3
    Vampires Suck is one of the few movies to join Grown Ups 2 on my prestigious list of Movies Which I Have Purposely Not Finished. I didn't even make it halfway into this travesty which does not even deserve to be called a film. However despite it being an undeniably bad film Vampires Suck is not as pain inflictingly bad as Friedberg and Seltzers previous spoofs such as Epic Movie, DateVampires Suck is one of the few movies to join Grown Ups 2 on my prestigious list of Movies Which I Have Purposely Not Finished. I didn't even make it halfway into this travesty which does not even deserve to be called a film. However despite it being an undeniably bad film Vampires Suck is not as pain inflictingly bad as Friedberg and Seltzers previous spoofs such as Epic Movie, Date Movie and arguably the worst movie of all time Disaster Movie. Anybody who enjoys this has an even lower IQ than the people who wrote it. Every second is juvenile and all of the jokes could have been thought up by me at the age of 8. Do not bother with this insult to the human race. Expand
  37. Jul 15, 2013
    2
    Bueno una de esas peliculas que lamento calificar otro desastre hay cosas que no se han aprendido como dejar de hacer estas peliculas cuando les va mal.
  38. Aug 26, 2014
    2
    It's bad enough that we have Twilight. It's worse when they decided to make a parody for a show that a lot of people can't stand. Unfortunately, I watched this show and I regretted it even to this day.
  39. May 4, 2014
    1
    Unlike their past films, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are actually attempting satire in this one. They respond to the vampire saga of Twilight and declare their allegiance to the hate camp by naming this movie "Vampires Suck". From what we learned, they're actually right on this one. How exactly did they prove their point? By making a poorly-structured film, where vampires are theUnlike their past films, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are actually attempting satire in this one. They respond to the vampire saga of Twilight and declare their allegiance to the hate camp by naming this movie "Vampires Suck". From what we learned, they're actually right on this one. How exactly did they prove their point? By making a poorly-structured film, where vampires are the main subject. Expand
  40. Aug 4, 2014
    2
    Vampire's Suck is hardly funny, fun or entertaining. But instead of poking fun at the Twilight saga, it turns out to be a plain, painful and atrocious experience.
  41. Mar 13, 2015
    0
    F**k you writers and directors Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer

    F**k you Jenn Proske

    F**k you Matt Lanter

    F**k you Anneliese van der Pol

    F**k you Matthew Warzel

    F**k you Chris Riggi

    F**k you Ken Jeong

    F**k you sound mic guy or girl

    F**k everyone who took part in this god awful mess of a movie

    And a big F**k you to the movie itself.
Metascore
18

Overwhelming dislike - based on 17 Critics

Critic score distribution:
  1. Positive: 0 out of 17
  2. Negative: 13 out of 17
  1. The exception is newcomer Jenn Proske, who spoofs Twilight star Kristen Stewart's flustered, hair-tugging angst with hilarious precision.
  2. Reviewed by: Natalie Southwick
    25
    Non-"Twilight'' fans would be better off surfing YouTube.
  3. "Vampires" doesn't suck, exactly, but the laziness and lack of imagination kinda bites.