Although it runs 78 minutes, it feels like 78 hours.

One small step for bad filmmaking and one giant leap for the increasing insignificance of the former Michael Corleone.

If What Happens in Vegas... serves any purpose, it's to make me consider spending my gambling money in Reno or on a riverboat instead.

Tedious and ultimately pointless film.

Wants to be three different films at one time but sadly never asks much from Diesel other than to grunt, stomp around, and reprise the role that made him a star.

If "Models'" comedy is a bore, the characters' redemption is sheer agony – not to mention the shameless pop-cultural referencing that repeats like a bad taco.

Too bad Guy Pearce who plays Kendall, the obvious villain, couldn't do the same thing. His awful performance here will almost make you forget he was "Memento" and "L.A. Confidential."

This is the sort of film that fails on every single aspect it aims for.

Clearly, Gomorrah is supposed to represent the best of today’s European cinema...and if this is the best, I would hate to imagine the worst! Gomorrah is a boring mess focusing on how the mob in today’s Naples has its tentacles stretched far and wide

Even by Hollywood sequel standards, this is lazily conceived, cynically recycled stuff.

Sadly, everything is predictable, which is to the detriment of the mostly fine, young talent that appears in this ineffective retread.

The animals are often caught in a stare as if they, too, are looking for the tale that Anderson forgot.

Aside from the pesky problems of tone and lazy writing, the whole move is a little choppy.

This masterpiece started out at around three stars, but after the credits, it just got sillier and more lurid.

Incredibly dull.

An astonishing mess.

Nothing sums up Bones better than its parting shot, in which maggots are projectile vomited directly toward the audience. How so very appropriate.

Crikey, what a croc o’ shit! But hey, at least the title of this film lets you know exactly where it's heading. So as painful as this movie is to watch, if you willingly buy a ticket, you’re only doing it to yourself.

I’m getting fed up with classic films being remade or ruined by being turned into “Special Editions” that are less than special.

About as much fun as a grouchy ayatollah in a cold mosque.

There's no excuse to come within a hundred feet of a screen playing this monstrosity of a movie.

Just one of those films, a bottomless well of snark fodder that may come and go in theatres but will surely be spun innumerable times on DVD at parties in the years to come.

Will surely end up as one of this year’s worst films.

A painfully awful film.

It certainly didn't take long for Madonna to ruin husband Guy Ritchie's career.

The real "disturbance" in Domestic Disturbance is not in the home, but in the careers of all involved.

This movie is plain stupid from the get go, but at least it looks good.

Much too aggressively juvenile crass.

Down With Love has little to offer besides hip sixties references better films have already made and made infinitely more hip.

I'm sure the filmmaker would disagree, but, honestly, I don't see the point. It's a visual Rorschach test and I must have failed.

Audiences should demand this film be buried never to see the light of day again.

Just when you think it could not get more ridiculous, Hall, Lanier, and Miss Mariah go that extra mile.

A monstrosity of a movie that I am all too eager to forget.

Yup, Hollywood Homicide”rips off practically every cop movie out there. My god in heaven, did anyone making this film have an original thought in their lives?

Like a slug that crawls across the screen for eighty minutes before dying of its own nausea.

Rips off so many splatter movie tricks at once that it becomes totally frustrating.

It is films like this that make me think that if Mexico suddenly went to war with a superpower, and the Cancun area was nuked into oblivion during a spring break weekend, that the world might actually be a better place.

If you want laughs, just about every other comedy playing right now is good for one giggle, which is more than you'll get here. Just don't waste your time or money on Out Cold.

It’s just a mess.

This tired old pile of garbage will hopefully be chased out of town soon.

Is there really a deep hidden meaning (DHM) to redeem this hopelessly dry and nebulous film? No, at least nothing that hasn't been done better before.

At worst, it’s an insult even to the intelligence of 12-year olds.

Just plain bad.

The characters’ actions here are goofy, immature, unsettling and at times downright silly.

Ghastly.

Such garbage that taking a shower at the Bates Motel is a more appealing alternative.

An abysmal failure.

Such a hopeless mess that there's no fun in tossing insults at its endless shortcomings.

It's just a murky, dark mess where no one wins. Especially those of us watching it. Simply put: Darkness fails. It's about as chilling as an unplugged refrigerator.

The single worst Shakespeare film ever made.

More criminal than the lack of inspiration in Return to Never Land is the absence of a sense of magic.

Tedious, derivative exercise, stolen from a dozen or so horror/action films.

At 100 minutes in running time, Dallas 362 can be called "The Amateur Hour-and-40-Minutes."

I haven't seen such meaningful insight into the nature of human cooperation since this morning's "Sesame Street."

Sadly, the death scenes are so unimaginative and the gore is so minimal that you might miss it if you blink.

Hollywood is definitely at its worst here and not the type of Hollywood which would dare to greenlight this; just Hollywood being portrayed on film.

It's too mediocre (and PG-13) to be classified as a horror film, too inane to be taken seriously and too uninteresting to be bothered with.

Every rumor you’ve heard about this film is true; it’s an absolute wreck.

It's an inferior remake (of a movie that wasn't that great to begin with), it's poorly acted, and it's yet another in an unending string of PG-13 "horror" movies that do nothing to build even the most rudimentary sense of real dread.

The production values on Dirty are so painfully amateurish that it is often hard to determine what is happening. The cinematography is murky and shaky, the editing is dull and clumsy, and the sound recording isn't exactly pristine. Not that any of this matters when you have a script where every third word is scatological.

Another disastrous comedy aimed at second-graders and anyone else who thinks farts are still funny.

Little Man is putrid.

Reports of boos at the film's debut at Cannes are more understandable now, not because Marie Antoinette is an inaccurate or indifferent look at French history (it is), but because it's self-indulgent shit. Booing - and beheading - are too good for it.

Turistas fails in almost every way a movie like this can.

Eragon is laughably bad, mind-bogglingly derivative, and easily one of the worst movies of the year.

I humbly submit that Cedric the Entertainer be required to give up the "Entertainer" portion of his nom de plume until he actually starts entertaining us.

The story is so ridiculously obvious it's not even remotely enjoyable.

Even with a look at many of these people's relationship problems, there's nothing remotely interesting to listen to when they talk. In this case, it's the fault of the script, which doesn't provide much of anything interesting to keep it going for as long as it does.

This horror fanatic doesn't have room for Craven in his genre anymore. Collect your cash and call it a day already, Wes.

Nothing but a perfect waste of a Friday night. Or a Tuesday night. Or any night of the week for that matter.

This one deserves to go back in the refrigerator – preferably to the very back of the refrigerator!

So remarkably free of laughs I might as well have been watching John Wayne Gacy’s home movies.

The biggest loser in all of this is Chan, whose legacy over here won’t be his 20+ years as a martial arts pioneer, but rather his playing straight man to the likes of Tucker and Owen Wilson.

This is a movie that should have a medical warning in its trailer. Caution: viewing may be hazardous to your filmgoing fun; side effects can include drowsiness, irritation and difficulty swallowing.

The original movie One Missed Call is based on was pretty tame, at least by Miike standards. And since it appears studios have no intention of halting this flood of abysmal rehashes, allow me to suggest that they at least have the stones not to pussyfoot around and give us a remake worthy of Hollywood, of America, and of an audience that lacks the willpower to stop buying tickets to half-assed crap.

I had just sat through a comedy that wasn't funny, a drama that wasn't touching and, all told, a mess of a story told by actors making some of either the laziest or most daring of choices, depending on your perspective. Sometimes both.

The falling blade is the only element not missing the mark in this film. I wanted to call for the beheading after Act One, and spare the audience instead.

The able cast can't swim through the muck.

The shallowest "serious" film to be reeling this year.

This is shtick that’s minimally a generation past its expiration date.

If only von Trier could work beyond the poster art concept. Antichrist stubbornly fails as a gothic nightmare and meanders as a misanthropic two-character drama.

Grind is an answer to the question that has been on the minds of many this summer: “Is there anything worse than Gigli?” The answer to this question is a resounding “YES!”

That legendary adolescent tolerance for garbage may be severely tested by Supercross.

Cry_Wolf has nothing going for it.

The Ringer is astoundingly craptastic not because the handicapped are handled poorly (though if they were paid more than union scale I'd be surprised), but because it's one of the most singularly unfunny films ever made.

Sellers' comic mastery is completely fumbled by Martin and director Shawn Levy.

London is the independent film world's equivalent of a fiasco.

Elapsed time before I walked out: 29 minutes Total laughs (in that period): 0

An Inconvenient Truth is something you rarely see in movies today: a blatant intellectual fraud. Shame on all of the people involved in this travesty.

After sitting through this movie, you will want to throw something more pungent than rice at The Groomsmen.

Compared to Norbit, “Date Movie” is "Casablanca." If I thought hijacking a plane carrying prints of the film and crashing it into Murphy’s house would put a stop to it, I’d go out and buy a box cutter right now.

An indolent, PG-13, Disney "biker" flick that does for comedies what Exxon did for Prince William Sound.

If Director C.B. Harding's intention was to make one of the worst films in recent memory, congratulations are in order.

The sport of golf has seen its fair share of vulgar comedies over the last 30 years or so.

Daddy Day Camp is a perfect family film for the blind and deaf.

Steer clear of Balls of Fury for as long as you draw breath. Period.

It’s rare that a movie makes me ill these days, and it’s rare that I can see a movie and hate the people behind it with such abhorrence, but Meet the Spartans rises to the challenge.

It's a movie that manages to grow more idiotic by the scene.

Sloppy, not funny, downright stupid, ridiculous as well as horribly themed and shot.