L.A. Weekly's Scores

For 3,656 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 46% higher than the average critic
  • 3% same as the average critic
  • 51% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 6.2 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 55
Highest review score: 100 The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Lowest review score: 0 Miss March
Score distribution:
3,656 movie reviews
    • 5 Metascore
    • 20 Critic Score
    First-time director Bryan Johnson's failure to resolve the film’s two moods -- psychopathic sexual brutality and light social satire -- proves fatal.
  1. Visually sumptuous but intellectually stultifying.
  2. The only time the actors appear to have accelerated their own heartbeats is in two paintball scenes, as well as -- professionals all -- the fart-lighting contest. It's pretty pathetic.
  3. Directed by Donald Petrie ("Miss Congeniality") with about as much substance and style as a ham sandwich. It's a heavy hand that damps down such airy creatures as Hudson and McConaughey.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 20 Critic Score
    Nice try, guys . . . now give me back my 97 minutes.
  4. A star ensemble is preposterously miscast.
  5. The booty here is 100 percent fool's gold.
  6. Never quite gets up to speed, lurching its way through a glossing, superficial take on street life and teenage sexuality.
  7. How fortunate that the J. Lo bod, majestic butt and all, finds itself in excellent working order in Gigli: There is precious little other consolation in this formless windbag of a romantic comedy.
  8. British director Eric Till’s ghastly Euro-pudding co-production (with all the international accents and badly post-synchronized dialogue that implies) manages to make a travesty of its title subject.
  9. The execution is actually worse than the premise. Nonstop racial, sexual and cultural stereotypes parade across the screen with little wit or real humor to guide them.
  10. Those seeking anything resembling a real discussion of the issues had best seek elsewhere.
  11. The movie is a funereally paced downer.
  12. 54
    If it's difficult to pinpoint exactly where this maladroit drama about the infamous New York discotheque went wrong, it's because everything in the film is lousy: The writing, the directing, the acting, the casting (Neve Campbell?), the moral posturing, the Capote clone, the Andy lookalike, even the glitter that clings to Salma Hayek's lashes like tears.
  13. An undercooked allusion to chaos theory -- gives every appearance of having been conceived, planned and executed out of a high school locker room.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 20 Critic Score
    That Amy Heckerling produced and, supposedly, had an uncredited hand in scripting this turkey is the saddest thing I've heard all year.
  14. A big-screen reality show that flashes plenty of t-- and d--- but little integrity.
  15. When will Hollywood learn that a genre trend can last for years if itís nurtured with decent scripts? No time soon, apparently.
  16. It's noisy, it's flashy, and it's deadly dull -- without the goofball, horror-nerd energy of Kevin Williamson, who wrote the first film, this essentially storyless picture, written by Trey Callaway and directed by Danny Gan-non, revolves doggedly around Hewitt's tits.
  17. The fault lies mostly with the writers, who consistently come up short on wit and imagination enough to finish, let alone flesh out or polish, a joke.
  18. Miserably unfunny, wholly unnecessary affair.
  19. As bad as the movie is, when it tries to be funny -- a hired killer who sings to his victims, a fat man named Bumpo, and an interminable fight scene choreographed to “La donna è mobile” -- it somehow manages to get several degrees worse.
  20. By the end of this mercifully short excuse for a horror movie, you'll be wishing the beast had chowed down on the entire ensemble.
  21. A movie bloated with character cliches and a bullying score that bludgeons us into whatever emotion composer Marc Shaiman thinks we should be experiencing.
  22. It's impossible to find an iota of aesthetic worth or an ounce of pleasure in this sludge.
  23. Cute and smarmy are nothing new for writer-director Tom DiCillo; what is new is the crushingly unfunny fusion of the two he's hit upon for this film.
    • 15 Metascore
    • 20 Critic Score
    If your child forces you to go to Yu-Gi-Oh!, remember that there's no law against iPods in movie theaters.
  24. As for anyone else who may experience a sudden need for therapy after sitting through this, you're on your own.
  25. Queen Latifah gets co-producer and scenarist credits for this anemic comedy, and also a supporting role that amounts to the worst performance of her career.
  26. Spanglish is Brooks' unqualified kitchen disaster - a desperate, shapeless, overreaching big-screen sitcom of a movie that just wants to be loved. Is that so wrong? In a word, yes.

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