New Orleans Times-Picayune's Scores

  • Movies
For 879 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 42% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 56% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 1.4 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 62
Highest review score: 100 Toy Story 3
Lowest review score: 20 Think Like a Man Too
Score distribution:
  1. Negative: 54 out of 879
879 movie reviews
  1. Dumont's fans might find this latest exercise enjoyable, but his style of filmmaking is an acquired taste. I doubt those without that taste are going to acquire it here.
  2. Almodovar lets his movie become boring, and insufferably so.
  3. Beautifully shot, but terribly dull.
  4. The problem is that there's nothing of substance to hold together those occasionally fun moments of often-grotesque absurdity.
  5. The fight sequences are briskly choreographed at least, gruesome though they are -- and, to be honest, that goes a long way in a film such as this. In fact they may be the only reason to see it, other than the chance to see Van Damme in full Col. Kurtz mode, all face-painted and droopy-eyed and bat-poop crazy.
  6. "Fast and Furious" movies are supposed to be unchallenging, but Fate of the Furious is full-on brain-dead.
  7. In other words, For a Good Time is not a good time. For that, you'll have to dust off your Nintendo and reacquaint yourself with "The Legend of Zelda" -- and hope that one of these days somebody can give "Bridesmaids" some real competition.
  8. It feels more like a poor man's "Poltergeist, " minus the static-filled TV.
  9. Unimaginative and painfully generic.
  10. No, Funeral Kings isn't quite dead on arrival -- but it's not too far from needing life support.
  11. You can't just cast an appealing actress in the lead role -- in this case Queen Latifah ("Valentine's Day, " "The Secret Life of Bees") -- and expect her to do all the heavy lifting.
  12. In the half-baked American Reunion, though, they might have accomplished what no previous chapter has: They might have just killed it.
  13. There's little refreshing or charming about it.
  14. There's really nothing definitive about Emperor. Or memorable, for that matter.
  15. The chief problem with such gimmick films -- including Maniac -- is that storytelling so often takes a back seat to the gimmick du jour, resulting movie that can be interesting from a technical perspective but not nearly as compelling as one would want.
  16. It features predictable humor and an underdeveloped story.
  17. You'd never know, watching a loud, shrill, relentlessly stupid comedy called Airheads, that this 90-minute waste of celluloid is by Michael Lehmann, the ostensibly talented director of "Heathers," a wickedly sharp black comedy released in 1989. Unless, of course, you happen to recall that Lehmann is the same guy who more recently gave us the atrocious "Hudson Hawk." [5 Aug 1994, p.L26]
    • New Orleans Times-Picayune
  18. This is the kind of film that feels like a dream - but not in the good way. Rather, it resembles a dream in that it is made up of disjointed, loosely connected bits of surrealist craziness - ideas that might have seemed interesting in the twilight hours but that don't come close to standing up to the light of day.
  19. But artistically interesting only takes a film so far. What it needs are laughs- - or at least a compelling narrative. It's got neither -- with the result being a film that arrives as dead as a certain parrot from a certain skit. One of the funny ones.
  20. Where's a wooden stake when you need one?
  21. A message movie that struggles mightily to make an impact but never comes close to capturing the gritty realism on which any blues singer builds his career.
  22. Anthony Hopkins still does elegant menace better than anyone.
  23. A movie that wears its heart on its sleeve.
  24. Rather than a moving story of sisterly love, we get little more than a grandly appointed disappointment.
  25. While it shows fleeting moments of promise, there's precious little great about The Great Wall. Instead, it should be called "The Ridiculous Wall."
  26. Maybe it would work better if the script -- which is credited to four screenwriters; never a great sign -- was actually funny.
  27. Early on in The Slammin' Salmon, a customer sends back a plate of undercooked fish. I can't imagine a better metaphor for a movie that is named after a fish and that is as half-baked as this one is.
  28. The school freak, played by Mary-Kate Olsen, misses a chance to really have some fun as this story's wicked witch.
  29. In the end, Carpenter offers a reasonably nice payoff to this whole misfire.
  30. Unfortunately, Think Like a Man Too never takes the time to elevate any of those characters to beyond mere cardboard cutouts.
  31. It's also deeply flawed, an emotionally exhausting film with a payoff that is limited at best, and a bit self-indulgent to boot. So while Haggis has proven himself a first-rate filmmaker and storyteller, by his standards, Third Person is little more than a second-rate effort.
  32. What they're missing here is a story good enough to warrant visiting the same uncomfortably dark place and characters worth caring about. Instead, what we get is a film that boasts tons of atmosphere and flashes of Refn's visual style -- as well as an admirably unhinged performance from Kristen Scott Thomas -- but little else.
  33. Right off the bat, things start falling apart for Wiesen's film. While Highmore is more than capable of playing smart and tender, he has yet to figure out how to believably portray so much as a shred of the danger or rebelliousness required for this role.
  34. It is fluffy, yes, but it also is ugly and annoying and something you neither want nor need.
  35. Most of the time, however, Post Grad just coasts along, flat as a mortar board, and as forgettable as a ... oh, I forgot already.
  36. For movie-goers who like a little cleverness with their comedy, however, one word: N-opa.
  37. While infants and imbeciles might get caught up in whirlwind action, most viewers should brace themselves for a less-than-wondrous return to Wonderland.
  38. The really annoying thing about Jack Black's Gulliver's Travels is not so much that it's a bad movie -- it is bad, but only run-of-the-mill bad, not epic-misfire bad -- but that the movie sullies a piece of literature that has endured for nearly 300 years for the sake of a cheap kiddie flick that'll be forgotten in a month.
  39. A textbook example of ye olde two-joke movie.
  40. Nobody has an excuse for being surprised by how low Sandler and company stoop in That's My Boy.
  41. The characters aren't fully formed enough to care about, the humor is baseball-bat dull, and the story - such as it is - is never treated as anything more than a half-hearted means to get the audiences from one spectacular snuffing to the next.
  42. Clever story? Pass. Originality? Nah. A smidgen of real humor to keep parents entertained along with the kiddies? Smurf you.
  43. This is supposed to be a movie about obsession. Instead it's just cupcake meets beefcake, with a big glass of milk on the side. And that's one Valentine's Day dinner you can easily pass up.
  44. What we end up with is a meandering mishmash of tasteless jokes and a tendency for extended non sequitur riffs.
  45. Little more than a glorified situation comedy. The problem is, it's all situation and no comedy.
  46. Grant and Parker's talents are wasted on a boring, made-for-TV story punctuated by a contrived, throwaway third act.
  47. This is an alternate-history rock 'n' roll saga. It is not Elvis, but Elvis-ish.
  48. It so shamelessly borrows from so many other movies, and then does absolutely nothing to add to them -- nothing to raise the bar, nothing to make it more interesting, and really nothing to make it the least bit appealing.
  49. Even when it's at its best, Walk of Shame is rarely more than merely amusing. On the other hand, when it's at its worst, it's nothing short of insulting, thanks to its willingness to engage in the kind of gross stereotyping that treads uncomfortably close to racist territory.
  50. But Jack and Jill? Oh, Al.
  51. Even if The Bounty Hunter is more plot-driven than your standard romantic comedy, it's never quite as funny as it should be.
  52. I guess I can't call the movie sexist as it was largely produced, directed and written by women. So I'll settle for calling it dull, corny and amateurish instead.
  53. Red Riding Hood needs a better agent.
  54. Lazy and stupid and unwilling to put forth the effort needed to distinguish itself even from a mediocre Internet video, it all amounts to a forgettable, slapdash bit of comedic nothingness.

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