America's Next Top Model Image
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  • Summary: The 17th cycle of Tyra Banks' modeling competition features contestants from previous shows who seek their second chance at the title of America's Next Top Model.
  • Genre(s): Reality, Health & Lifestyle, Game Show
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  1. Sep 29, 2011
    4
    Oh, am I the first "user" to review? An awesome responsibility--I'll try to keep the acidity level down. Okay, in some ways, Season 17 represents an improvement over the previous 16 outings, if only because it backs away from the idea that contestants have a real shot at becoming "top models." This season, each contestant is an "all-star," which, as far as I can tell, means a fan favorite who actually did pretty well on the show, a b*tch remembered mainly for being a giant pain in the other girls' *sses, or a walking symbol. By my count, there are 3 FF's, 9 B's, and 3 WS's, though I'd entertain categorical arguments about a few of the women (the WS of Lesbianism, for example, was also successful and well-liked in her season, and so could be considered a FF). But the preponderance of Category 2 contestant tells us that the deck has been stacked for conflict, as does the fact that, when the bottom two comprise a b*tch and a FF or WS, the b*tch stays, so that, after 3 episodes, the count is now 2-8-2. Were I in the Top Model house, I would sleep with a baseball bat under my pillow. Anyway, this season is supposed to be all about transforming the contestants' remaining teaspoonful of celebrity into a giant trough of fame from which they can lap contentedly for the rest of their lives. Just what we need in America: another famous person with no talent. Evidently, the way to become famous, in the absence of talent, is by "branding" oneself (no, not with a red-hot poker, alas), so each of the gals was assigned a single word representing her "brand." You're dying to know who scored "b*tch," aren't you? Unfortunately, Tyra's "branding expert" favored euphemisms such as "proud" (for delusional egomaniac Camille) and "candid" for (trash-talking Bianca), so the title remains up for grabs. As for the other title, winner of the All-Star ANTM, we can only hope that she sinks from public view as quickly and ignominiously as most reality TV stars. Expand

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