Conan the Barbarian
Lionsgate | Release Date: August 19, 2011 CRITIC SCORE DISTRIBUTION
36
METASCORE
Generally unfavorable reviews based on 29 Critic Reviews
Positive:
2
Mixed:
12
Negative:
15
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Critic Reviews

Critic scorePublicationBy date
70
Village VoiceMark HolcombAug 17, 2011
Squeamish types may balk, but the gory cruelty on display here is faithful to the source material and deeply thrilling. Read full review
63
New York PostKyle SmithAug 19, 2011
It has a certain commitment to its cause, and by that I mean it supplies the necessary flayings, slayings, beheadings and, um, a be-nose-ing, all of it dancing to the tune of those amusingly stilted He-Man declaratives - King James Bible cadences applied to comic-book visions. It knows it's a B movie, and gets on with it. Read full review
60
Los Angeles TimesBetsy SharkeyAug 18, 2011
Brutal, bloody beyond belief, and has no socially redeeming value. So it is with a certain amount of guilt that I say it's kind of a wicked blast to watch, especially if you're in the mood for some righteous revenge. Read full review
60
Time OutKeith UhlichAug 17, 2011
The film's secret weapon proves to be Freddy Krueger–fingernailed witch Marique, whom Rose McGowan plays with the kind of fuck-it-all brio - imagine a cross between Madeline Kahn in "History of the World: Part I" and Lady Gaga - that should garner her a Razzie and an Oscar. Read full review
50
Tampa Bay TimesSteve PersallAug 19, 2011
Conan the Barbarian has its small, insipid pleasures, if you're in the mood. Read full review
50
The New York TimesManohla DargisAug 18, 2011
Mr. Momoa has some awfully big biceps to fill. He rises to that task with a pumped physique made for ogling. Thankfully, he also shows glints of self-awareness that can make hypermasculine blowouts like these more watchable and were largely missing from Mr. Schwarzenegger's wide-eyed turn in the first "Conan the Barbarian" (1982). Read full review
50
Chicago ReaderBen SachsAug 18, 2011
Rife with the oldest and simplest pleasures of 3-D movies: all sorts of objects fly at the camera, and the climactic battle takes place over a deep, dark chasm. At its best the movie suggests a funhouse at a state-of-the-art county fair; at its worst it's a fairly dumb celebration of brute violence. Read full review
50
Chicago TribuneMichael PhillipsAug 18, 2011
It's mostly noise and splurch and, as I mentioned, aaaaarrrrggggghhhhh! Read full review
50
Entertainment WeeklyLisa SchwarzbaumAug 17, 2011
There's something and nothing for everyone in Conan the Barbarian 3D. Read full review
50
Orlando SentinelRoger MooreAug 17, 2011
Take away much of the myth, most of the sorcery and all of the humor of the 1982 John Milius-Arnold Schwarzenegger version of the sword and sorcery epic "Conan the Barbarian" and you've got an idea what the new "Conan" is like. Read full review
50
VarietyPeter DebrugeAug 16, 2011
The well-executed picture solves the biggest challenge facing those hoping to breathe new life -- however nasty, brutish and short -- into the 79-year-old franchise by finding an actor capable of filling Ah-nuld's shoes. Read full review
45
MovielineStephanie ZacharekAug 18, 2011
The movie's look is artificially grainy, and most of the scenes are encrusted with CGI - you'd have to chip it away with a chisel to get to anything human or interesting or even remotely fantastical. Read full review
40
TimeRichard CorlissAug 18, 2011
A gaudily ornamented medieval banquet table groaning with junk food and open entrails. Read full review
40
Boxoffice MagazineTodd GilchristAug 17, 2011
The bigger problem is that the action literally bleeds together and there's no sense of pacing. Read full review
38
ReelViewsJames BerardinelliAug 19, 2011
The 2011 version of Conan the Barbarian looks cheap and feels rushed. The few good elements are dwarfed by a generic, nonsensical plot and shoddy storytelling. Read full review
38
The Globe and Mail (Toronto)Rick GroenAug 18, 2011
In today's cultural climate, any remake of Conan the Barbarian can only be considered (a) redundant or (b) a cruel case of rubbing salt in our cinematic wounds. Either way, it ain't a pretty sight – in fact, it's downright barbaric. Read full review
38
Washington PostJohn DeForeAug 18, 2011
Those nostrils do a lot of Momoa's acting, to be honest. As right as he is looks-wise, Momoa falls short in attitude. Read full review
38
USA TodayScott BowlesAug 18, 2011
Conan the Barbarian lives by a pretty simple ethos: He lives, he loves, he slays. What he doesn't do, alas, is act. Read full review
38
Boston GlobeTy BurrAug 18, 2011
As for the movie itself, it's tolerable. Read full review
38
Chicago Sun-TimesRoger EbertAug 17, 2011
A brutal, crude, witless high-tech CGI contrivance, in which no artificial technique has been overlooked, including 3-D. Read full review
30
Austin ChronicleMarc SavlovAug 28, 2011
The result is a somewhat functional blood feast for the exploitation crowd, but it's hardly a bead of sweat on the original's battered backside. Oh, and the score? Basil Poledouris' bombastic brass is still No. 1. Read full review
30
Arizona RepublicBill GoodykoontzAug 17, 2011
There's just not a lot to like here, with the exception of what may be one of the all-time best bad movie lines, one Conan utters to Tamara as a kind of personal credo: "I live. I love. I slay. I am content." Read full review
30
The Hollywood ReporterKirk HoneycuttAug 16, 2011
There is no purpose to the film other than random blood splattering amid scenes of bondage, primitive savagery and S&M eroticism. The film is numbing and dumb with its hero indistinguishable from its villains. Read full review
25
San Francisco ChronicleMick LaSalleAug 18, 2011
Morgan Freeman's voice is heard as the narrator, which is in itself the stuff of parody. Then we listen and get lost within two sentences, because the narration is so poorly written that Freeman himself probably didn't know what he was talking about. Read full review
25
Miami HeraldRene RodriguezAug 18, 2011
Momoa, a familiar face from "Game of Thrones" to "Baywatch," has the muscles but not the imposing persona and barbaric presence that Conan requires. Read full review
25
The A.V. ClubKeith PhippsAug 17, 2011
It shouldn't, in other words, be that hard to make a good Conan movie. John Milius did a half-decent job with "Conan The Barbarian" in 1982, but this new film of the same name feels like a half-hearted revamp of virtually any of the Conan rip-offs that clogged up video-store shelves in the '80s. Read full review
25
Slant MagazineJaime N. ChristleyAug 17, 2011
The re-whatevered Conan the Barbarian feels unexpectedly low-rent, even with its multi-million-dollar backdrops and ear-splitting, rumbling soundtrack and (presumably post-converted) 3D imagery. Read full review
20
New York Daily NewsJoe NeumaierAug 19, 2011
With the most growling and grunting of any movie this summer - and that includes those apes perched atop the box office - Conan the Barbarian seems at times to have actually been made by barbarians. Read full review
20
NPRScott TobiasAug 18, 2011
There are swords and sorcery, pirates and monsters, taxed bodices and taxing mythology. In other words, there's the bare minimum necessary to summon this dismal movie into existence. Read full review
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