Alyse Wax

M3GAN might just become the Malignant of 2023. It doesn’t have a twist, but it is a weird, bonkers movie. Director Gerard Johnstone knocked it out of the park with his second film. It’s not traditionally scary, but it is existentially scary. As the world makes greater strides in AI and robotics, these kinds of scenarios become more terrifyingly possible. Luckily, you have the strange image of M3GAN twerking or driving an expensive sports car to make you giggle past the discomfort.

Aside from The Mean One himself, there was too much not to like in this film.

Christmas Bloody Christmas makes two promises in its title: it’s going to be about Christmas, and it’s going to be bloody. It succeeds on both fronts to create a fun, fast-paced Christmas horror that is all style, very little substance – but when it works this well, it's totally fine.

The final showdown between Laurie and Michael Myers is pretty thrilling, perhaps because we know that this is the last time we will ever see the pair face off (supposedly). Whichever side you land on, whether you are Team Laurie or Team Michael, you won't feel cheated by the conclusion of the film, which makes what preceded it a lot easier to forget about and made the movie, in general, a lot more palatable.

Ultimately, the new Hellraiser isn’t entirely bad. It’s just bland. Forgettable. And in the world of horror films, isn’t that worse than being bad?

Dark Glasses is no Suspiria or Tenebrae, but it’s also no Dracula 3D. It’s a fine movie, and sometimes, that is all you can ask for.

Terrifier 2 is best when it does what we are here to see: big, bloody murder. But the attempt at a story is just atrocious. Terrifier 2 tries to be bigger and better than its predecessor when really, we just wanted more of the same.

If you are looking for a good slasher film, look elsewhere. If you are looking for a fun family-friendly film with a few good monsters, then try Spirit Halloween: The Movie.

My Best Friend’s Exorcism has something for everyone: strong female characters, spooky atmosphere, humor, heart, a bitchin’ 1980s setting. There is a lot to like here, and plenty to enjoy all year round.

Smile holds no surprises. No big twists. You know what you are getting going into this movie. It is predictable from the first minute. But it is an enjoyable, scary ride that is well-plotted and acted. You will know how it ends within the first five minutes of the film. But the ride getting there is well worth it.

Ultimately, The Munsters is not a good movie. But it is great fodder to put on in the background of a Halloween party. It is best when used as a visual asset; something you may only want to catch a couple of minutes of dialogue from, but otherwise, it’s best left as background imagery.

It is still a well-made film, with fantastic acting and a beautiful, modern house set out in the middle of nowhere, but it is not the shocker that it was when it was new. Knowing the twist, and the minor changes that were made for an American audience really soften the movie. If you enjoyed the original, the American remake would be perfect fodder for your parents.

First Kill is a smart, tight film that fits perfectly into what the first Orphan film set up over a decade ago.

Where the Crawdads Sing is a weirdly uncomfortable movie, on many different levels. If you haven’t read the book I can’t imagine you would want to see this movie; if you have read the book, I say proceed with great caution.

There are very few classic hallmarks of horror films in The Black Phone. They arrive in the third act, but before that, it is a lot of… nothing. Talking. No cat-and-mouse chasing. No killing. Not even any suspense.

If you were a fan of Beavis and Butt-Head, you will love them doing The Universe. They haven’t changed a bit, even though the world around them has changed. It is delightfully charming and ridiculous and completely expected, in the best way possible.