Coffee Crisis Image
Metascore
59

Mixed or average reviews - based on 9 Critic Reviews What's this?

User Score
4.3

Generally unfavorable reviews- based on 6 Ratings

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  • Summary: Coffee Crisis is an arcade-style beat 'em up that pays homage to the 90's era of classic arcade and 16-bit brawlers. The Smurglian race has come to Earth and they're not leaving until they steal our most prized commodities: our metal music, the best coffee, and all of the WiFi. Get in theCoffee Crisis is an arcade-style beat 'em up that pays homage to the 90's era of classic arcade and 16-bit brawlers. The Smurglian race has come to Earth and they're not leaving until they steal our most prized commodities: our metal music, the best coffee, and all of the WiFi. Get in the shoes of the only baristas on Earth with enough heavy metal in their veins to fend off this alien assault. Expand
Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 2 out of 9
  2. Negative: 1 out of 9
  1. Nov 28, 2018
    80
    Many indie developers try to emulate classic games and few actually succeed at it. Coffee Crisis nails 16-bit brawlers perfectly and it's great fun with a friend. So, brew up a couple cups of joe and get ready to smash in some alien skulls.
  2. Jan 9, 2019
    75
    There’s definitely lots to like about Coffee Crisis, and its developers deserve credit for recreating the 90s brawler with near-perfection. If you have a nostalgic yearning for some retro fun, and especially if you’ve got a buddy who can help you kick some alien ass, Coffee Crisis is one cup o’ joe that’s worth a sip. On your own, however, it might be a bit more frustrating and simplistic than you’d like at times, and your initial caffiene-high of enjoyment might wear off quickly. Either way, though, make sure you keep the lid on your coffee mug because the bangin’ metal tunes will have you pumping your fists as you play.
  3. Jan 13, 2020
    70
    Coffee Crisis is an excellent take on the beat ’em up genre overflowing with 80s and 90s nostalgia and heavy metal, although it is a shorter experience than we would have liked. The humour and personality spill through to the point you’ll remember this one months down the line.
  4. Dec 27, 2018
    55
    Coffee Crisis takes the interesting concept of the classic beat ‘em up with a metal and coffee theme and attempts to run with it, only to trip over itself with a questionable implementation of modifiers that can’t be selected normally, as well as bare-bones combat. All of the pieces of a quality beat ‘em up are present in this game, but it’s not quite put together yet.
  5. Mar 15, 2019
    55
    The overall presentation looks nice, but with such a steep difficulty curve during the game's middle segment, few people will find enjoyment in having baristas pummel an unrelated menagerie of characters for too long. With so many other beat-'em-ups on the system, Coffee Crisis will be a title that you'll check out after exhausting the other options.
  6. May 21, 2019
    50
    It's certainly absurdly fun and features a fantastic soundtrack but its rather short lifespan, maladjusted difficulty level and unhelpful roguelike elements mean that Coffee Crisis ends up creating expectations which it doesn't manage to live up to.
  7. Mar 14, 2019
    35
    Brawlers aren’t the most complex genre, so the fundamental mistakes of visual noise and sluggish controls mean that it’s difficult to recommend Coffee Crisis to even the most dedicated brawler game fans.

See all 9 Critic Reviews

Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 0 out of 3
  2. Negative: 1 out of 3
  1. Jan 6, 2019
    7
    As a big fan of both metal and coffee, this game speaks to me from a conceptual and stylistic standpoint. The soundtrack is badass and theAs a big fan of both metal and coffee, this game speaks to me from a conceptual and stylistic standpoint. The soundtrack is badass and the visuals are incredibly charming, but the one thing that drives me nuts about this game is how unbalanced the combat can be from time to time. If you're playing 1P, good luck. The onslaught of enemies--seemingly every 5 seconds--leaves you scrambling to try and figure out a strategy to take out all these bad guys while somehow reserving enough health to keep moving. Your "special attack" deals damage to your health, so it's almost completely useless when fighting multiple enemies. This game has plenty of charm and I keep coming back to it because it's interesting and funny as hell, but I just wish I felt like I was being rewarded for taking down multiple enemies at once with more than just a 25 point power-up. Expand
  2. Feb 6, 2020
    5
    It looks the part but MY GaWd...it's just...idk, no joke it's quite literally an unacceptable release entirely. I'm a 38 yo semi-hardcoreIt looks the part but MY GaWd...it's just...idk, no joke it's quite literally an unacceptable release entirely. I'm a 38 yo semi-hardcore couch gaming pro and I'm always looking past things here n there if the game experience isn't comprised to a point of having to deal with a poorly McGuiver'd together mess. (am i right?? us reasonable gamers have learned to accept & adapt)...
    This game titled Coffee Crisis looked, sounded n seemed like a simple homage to beloved childhood sidescroller-BeatEmUps of the 80s-90s...All I'm gonna say about this game is that "the hit detection isn't consistent or defined as it feels like there's a bubble of fuzz around your character and if you touch or rub enemies with this imaginary aura they at times react in various ways that seem like they've been hit...NO EXAGGERATION, kicking, punching & spinning around with the coffee bag DOESN'T result in proper fighting game sounds n action :(
    ...and i still keep replaying it sometimes, thinking i was overly critical...so i begin with a fresh experience in mind and its never good, those moments cut deep...the experience of playing this game physically hurts :'(
    Expand
  3. Oct 21, 2019
    2
    By far, one of the absolute worst Beat-em-ups I’ve ever thrown down with. It’s intriguing art and concept is awash in a diarrhea ocean of:By far, one of the absolute worst Beat-em-ups I’ve ever thrown down with. It’s intriguing art and concept is awash in a diarrhea ocean of: terrible design, completely random difficulty spikes and delayed inputs. There is zero depth to this game aside from mashing buttons and jumping during its constant onslaught of randomly grouped thugs and aliens. You can also throw an opponent but lining that up feels completely hit or miss and it’s a stupid thing to do in a crowd anyway because it freezes you in place to get mauled by the obnoxious mob. This goes double for the ‘special’ move either of the main characters can use because it drains your HP so fast, it’s another pointless and fruitless strategy. The pacing is absolutely murdered due to the very frequent enmasse of those swarms and there’s little strategy indeed when all you can muster to do during most of them is jump around frantically and hope your kick connects with... something... anything. The game tries to cover up its shallow gameplay with also randomized screen effects (which can range from simple temporary scan lines to a truly eye-bleeding red filter that makes discerning what the hell is actually happening onscreen near impossible. I just can’t believe what the flying f—- they were thinking with this overbearing and simply unfun design. Somewhat cool metal music and nice animations do not save it. I am not joking when I say “I want my dollar back!” Expand