Even without the current headlines, United Passions is a disgrace. It’s less a movie than preposterous self-hagiography, more appropriate for Scientology or the Rev Sun Myung Moon. As cinema it is excrement. As proof of corporate insanity it is a valuable case study.
If there was one word to describe this movie, it would be perfection. I do not claim god created this movie, but it is up there alongside the greatest creations of all time. Namely, the holy scriptures. The writing is not only unparalleled, but at a level even Chuk Norris cannot hope to reach. It is a sad fate that humans cannot understand the brilliance behind this meticulously crafted piece of art. It's a good thing I am batman and had enough money to procure myself some alien brain as a replacement for the defective human organ. Such genius prodigy from such a masterminded scholarly writer of the highest intellect. One cannot fathom how such a specimen could exist without being a lizardman living under the genesis of the new world order. I wish I could explain such a marvelous architecture of a movie in simple laymen terms. However, words alone aren't powerful enough to deliver its true message. I have ascended to new heights.
This movie gave me an adrenaline rush because of how exciting and amazing it was, this is by far the most legendary and ELITE movie I have ever seen in my life, I watch it every single day and I am left with a huge smile on my face after finishing watching it. :)
100/10 Would watch again!
United Passions leaves no historical-drama cliché unexploited: the voiceover narration, the jumbled Europudding accents, the expository dialogue, the hasty compression of major world events, the thickly applied old-age makeup, the not remotely seamless mix of re-creations and archival footage. It’s all there, in support of FIFA’s lies.
This movie is greatest ever! Citizen Kane, Godfather, Maid in Manhattan (my previous favouritist movie) none have the goodness of this masterpiece. This movie SO good maybe even the womens would like it if they understood it properly, but sadly as we know the womens they cannot understand watching the movies as you need the testiculars for that. It should win all oscars and a little bird (a million little birdies oscar peoples hint hint) tell me it will! I laughed, I cried, I laughed some more. Never has the battle for corruption been mores exciting. I was on the edge of seat throughout, if it wasn't for the migrant worker I brought to screening being such good footstool I many times would fall to floor. But there would be no red card for this film, I make sure of that many times over, unless you are Englander in which case red card! Off field!. Most incrediblest thing is it all true! It is a story so amazingest you may think surely it cannot be so but it is so! It say so at start of film. And everyone involved say so over and over again, even when under oath due to persecution by imperialistical forces who do not understand beautiful game still they say so! If I could I would give film 14 out of 10 for that is FIFA mathematics! You must go see this film and if you are worried it will be too hot for you too watch properly then just go in middle of work! Yes this film is worth totally messing up schedule for, ok maybe work suffer but film more important. And if you think not do not worry, we have private talk to discuss new football academy for you home and voila! then we think same. And remember to buy buy buy this on VHS many times over so that you can show film in homes that have no real interest in film. You will be surprised how rewarding increasing visibility of movie in houses that are barely aware of movie will be! Perhaps only one problem with film, lead actor is so attractive it can be hard (wink wink) to watch without swooning, and that is surprise as he is Englander and usually I hate the Englanders as they do not watch films the right way! It is all watch the movie, watch the movie, watch the movie and then they burn down the popcorn stand. Where is the flair? The passion? The soul? Not like those Quataries, the way they watch movies it makes all true movie watchers uncomfortable in their gentlemanly areas. Recap: If you do not love this movie you must be a femalest or an Englandisher or you not recieve cheque yet. To say otherwise is just BIG misunderstanding. And you can take my word for that as I am most honest man in world, all my friends says it is so!
The movie is a wonderful surprise, cleverly written and executed brick by brick with a visual panache. It is gloriously wise, beautifully crafted, and unabashedly fun. I have never watched a movie, that is written this good!
John Carter and Tomorrowland made more money then this movie, that's a new low.
Okay the reason why I reviewing this masterpiece of **** is because I got a upcoming review of I Saw the Devil which may come out tomorrow or the day after, and I want to save enough energy that I got to review it as it is one of the best movies of 2010. But here is something that's easy to tear a part.
People are saying that this movie was Uwe Boll level, I mean look at the rating on IMDB it's got a 2.0/10 as I'm specking, but if you compare this movie to a Uwe Boll movie, United Passions is the best thing ever made. At least United Passions as a great looking and good costume design were Uwe Boll doesn't even try at all, I mean he's like the **** of cinema.
But all that side United Passions isn't all that good. The movie has that cheap looking straight to DVD movie look to it which didn't help the movie sell itself to people. The movie isn't all that interesting, I think I looked around my room of boredom just by watching this movie trying to look around to see what's interesting.
Overall United Passions could have been somewhat good, but it didn't and I'm going to forget this movie and the end of the year.
My original review from February 2016 doesn't seem to hold up. I was very harsh on the film in the past, but now it deserves a 2/10. It's still terrible due to the poor quality of its drama, the unsuitability of the topic of administrative matters for a movie, and the perceived biases of the film. There are worse films out there.
Original Review: This is the worst movie I've ever seen in my entire life. The film has been criticized for the poor quality of the drama, the unsuitability of the topic of administrative matters for a movie and the perceived biases of the film. I'd rather watch Kod Adı: K.O.Z. and Jurassic Shark than this absolute garbage.
I checked to see how bad this film is. I should've gave this movie a 0, but something's breaking that purpose to get there. With an extremely rare 1% score on Metacritic's metascore, it's only safe to say... "What a disappointing film to keep the year going."